Entry posted by Kirschen
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Cherry Plays: Moemon FireRed
Like my friend Alg, I decided to follow suit and create a blog solely to share my experiences playing a Pokemon Hack. Unlike my friend Alg, I have gone for something that is less of a translation disaster and more… humanoid, in a sense. So what happens when you take a game that has invoked the gijinka (as in taking things like animals, or Pokemon in this case, and draw them as human) art style and have the commentary done by someone prone to getting their foot in their mouth, chews the scenery with absolute gusto, and always has something to say? You could say “imminent disaster” or “unpredictable maelstrom of creative fun", but let’s leave that decision until the end. Now, without further ado…
*drumroll*
MOEMON FIRERED
[spoiler=EPISODE 1]
Hey, it’s everyone’s favorite expositor! Professor Samuel Oak! Well, he’s such a nice guy to invade my dreamscape just to give a greeting… wait, that isn’t nice. Not at all! Wait, how the hell is he able to do that?!
“Affectionately” in what context? I am seriously praying it’s the platonic kind since the romantic kind just makes it come off weird… at least he’s known for being a messiah-like figure that is the paragon of virtue-
WHAT THE FLAAFFY IS THIS?! YOU IMPRISONED A YOUNG GIRL IN THAT SPHERICAL DEVICE! What the hell, Oak? Wait, people make them their pets and fighting slaves as well?!
You just showed me your unnerving level of callousness by subjugating an innocent girl and now you think you just nonchalantly inquire me about my bodily structures? Hey, maybe I should give my name as well for even more convenience!
Oh, now you have gone too far! First, you invade my mind, then you displayed your ability to capture young girls, and now introduce me to your offspring and he makes a first impression with a FANNY PACK! I cannot tell what is more out of whack: your moral compass or your fashion advice!
To remedy these errors, I bestowed on my rival a meaningful name that has dignity in comparison to what other names he would have had. Such as “Asshat”, “Derps McKensy”, and “Gobblepuff”.
WAIT! I DO NOT WISH TO BE IN SUCH A WORLD WHERE YOUNG GIRLS BECOME SUBJUGATED FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF OTHERS! NO! NEIN! NUNCA! JE NE PAS, S’IL VOU PLAIT! I DO NO WISH TO-
Oh god, was I sleeping on the floor? And to add insult to injury, I was drooling all over the Gamecube too?! Well, no use crying over spilled MooMoo Milk. I should go out and mingle and frolic with the locals…
… As in get the hell out of here!
Alas, it appears I was caught! Damn you, Oak! You win this round, monster! No matter what, I still refuse to be assimilated into whatever nefarious task you have in mind! Even if use your Poke Balls to capture me, my defiance stays! There is absolutely no way I will-
… I hate you. So. Freaking. Much. How did I go from having a nice dream to being Professor Oak’s tool? This day cannot get worse.
Fine, have it your way. If I have to pick one of these poor souls, then I should free them as well and hinder your plans, Oak! Didn’t expect your plan to backfire so soon, huh?! Since I have to be quick, only one can join me. Now, who will be my compatriot?
Now for the part where democracy takes place. Choose now!
Charmander: 0
Bulbasaur: 2
Squirtle: 1
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