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Sexual orientation and identification


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Bisexual is attracted to the male gender and the female gender.

 

Pansexual is all inclusive and includes genders that dont conform to simply "male" and "female". Gender and sex are different, and theres a term for every gender being attracted to every sex and vice versa and everything in between. Lgbtq is actually far more complicated than lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer

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someone please explain all the extra sexualities? I can't grasp the subtle differences myself

 

Bisexual is where you're attracted to both males and females. Think pansexual as the possibility of also being attracted to someone who is transgender/nonbinary. 

 

Something that's less commonly known about are those who label themselves as "demisexual". In a nutshell, sexual feelings occur with those only with whom you have deeply invested emotional feelings in. You would think that is a common occurrence among people, but that's not true. If it was, then infidelity would be all but non-existent.

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I'm not sure if I believe that demisexuality is a real thing. If it is then that would mean as a man, I could have a beautiful woman standing in front of me and I wouldn't feel ANYTHING because I didn't know her. Basically the ONLY way to get aroused would be to fantasize about someone whom I'm emotionally invested in, because I'd theoretically have no emotional investment in porn stars or anything like that. And when you think about it that way it almost sounds like a sexual disorder lol

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Demisexual is an emotional state, not based in the realm of physical appearance. Its not about not being physically attracted to conventionally attractive people, its about be attracted to an emotionally driven bond established outside of ocular perception.

 

Claiming something doesn't exist because you dont understand it is a little short sighted

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I think there's a line to be drawn at some point though. With homosexuality and heterosexuality you can objectively define your preferences, whereas with these other obscure, vague new terms it's all entirely subjective... which kind of defeats the purpose of trying to categorize it. You could claim to be demisexual and justify any of your sexual activities by saying "yeah I personally felt an emotional connection there." You could be "semisexual" (lol) and justify any sexual activity by saying "yeah I personally found them to be physically attractive" (even if they're hideous to 99% of the population). But you can't sleep exclusively with men while avoiding women and then go on to claim that you're heterosexual.

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Human sexuality obviously categorized too broadly if people are going through so much trouble to find and create labels that they feel better describe them. Although compared to well planned and organized categories such as species categorization I do think that there will be a lot of clean up work by sexologists over time to come up with organized and descriptive catagories for people.

My main gripe is probably this, that it seems like random groups on tumblr etc are coming up with different sexualities to appear to be special snowflakes, as opposed to academics drawing out well categorised sets that are more useful for classification.
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I think there's a line to be drawn at some point though. With homosexuality and heterosexuality you can objectively define your preferences, whereas with these other obscure, vague new terms it's all entirely subjective... which kind of defeats the purpose of trying to categorize it. You could claim to be demisexual and justify any of your sexual activities by saying "yeah I personally felt an emotional connection there." You could be "semisexual" (lol) and justify any sexual activity by saying "yeah I personally found them to be physically attractive" (even if they're hideous to 99% of the population). But you can't sleep exclusively with men while avoiding women and then go on to claim that you're heterosexual.

That's because you're mixing sexual attraction/orientation with sexual activities. You can definitely sleep exclusively with men and still be heterosexual if you're attracted exclusively to women, because the definition covers attraction (Not to say that people wouldn't wonder why, but hey, it's your business). You can have sex with your partner and still call yourself asexual because you're not sexually attracted to anyone. You can be celibate and still call yourself bisexual because you're attracted to men and women. Hell, you could call yourself bisexual when you've only had relationships with one of the sexes, or even just one person. The list goes on.

 

I mean, sexuality is a spectrum (that goes back to the Kinsey scale). Of course things are going to get messy when you try to apply labels to each individual part of it.

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I googled pansexual

 

same. looks like it's just the same thing as bisexual lol

 

(Disclaimer: I'm not bi or pan, and so can only repeat what I've heard)

The way I've heard it explained is that bi is attraction to all genders, but the way/level you're attracted to various genders/sexes can be different. Pan is attraction where gender doesn't have a significant impact.

 

Or it's the binary/non-binary split as others have said. It really depends on who you're talking to and how they split them in their head.

 

~~

 

I think most everyone in the ace community realizes the problems in having very specific words for experiences. But then, most people in the community use one of 3 prefixes to describe their orientation, a-, gray, and demi-. Which is honestly not that many. But no one has come up with an alternative that lets people have the same depth of description and is easy and sticks.

 

 

 

Human sexuality obviously categorized too broadly if people are going through so much trouble to find and create labels that they feel better describe them. Although compared to well planned and organized categories such as species categorization I do think that there will be a lot of clean up work by sexologists over time to come up with organized and descriptive catagories for people.

My main gripe is probably this, that it seems like random groups on tumblr etc are coming up with different sexualities to appear to be special snowflakes, as opposed to academics drawing out well categorised sets that are more useful for classification.

 

People are trying to come up with words to describe themselves, not words to give them special snowflake status or w/e bullshit you think it is. Also, those "special snowflake" orientations exist more as things to say to others who are also part of the ace community and therefore understand the experiences.

 

They may not be useful classification for you, but it's very valuable to me to know if someone is quoiromantic/WTFromantic because I immediately have a very deep understanding of how they work with their closest relationships. And it's valuable to the people that identify that way because just knowing that other people feel that way helps validate your feelings, even when society at large likes to invalidate them.

 

Nerd is also not a "scientific" classification, but that never stopped people from creating it, or from finding value in identifying as one. There's no academic definition of the fine line between nerd and geek and jock and hipster and whatever the [bleep] else, but you wouldn't tell someone off for being one of those. Or maybe you would, idk, but 1 that would make you an [wagon] and 2 who the [bleep] cares about your opinion anyway.

 

Academic discussion doesn't make things real anyway. Things are real, and then people study it. Not the other way around.

 

I think there's a line to be drawn at some point though. With homosexuality and heterosexuality you can objectively define your preferences, whereas with these other obscure, vague new terms it's all entirely subjective... which kind of defeats the purpose of trying to categorize it. You could claim to be demisexual and justify any of your sexual activities by saying "yeah I personally felt an emotional connection there." You could be "semisexual" (lol) and justify any sexual activity by saying "yeah I personally found them to be physically attractive" (even if they're hideous to 99% of the population). But you can't sleep exclusively with men while avoiding women and then go on to claim that you're heterosexual.

Eh, unless you can't definitely define your preferences. I know of a woman who identifies as "mostly gay" with an implied "Somewhat bi". She's only ever dated women, only ever wanted to date women, and therefore identifies most strongly as a lesbian, but she still can be aesthetically attracted to a few men and so it's not so cut and dry.

 

And it's way more complicated if you're not monosexual (attracted to only one gender). You're holding up hetero/homo as the level of definitive-ness to which everyone has to be able to define themselves. But a woman who is bi but has only ever had relationships with men because that's the only opportunity she's had is still bi. A polyamorous individual who has only ever been with 1 person at a time because they can't manage to get more personalities together is still polyarmorous.

 

And I know those aren't perfect parallels, because I based them both on "can't find", but there are still similarities. Their orientations are still "entirely subjective." The poly person can just say "I wanted to sleep with all of them but I couldn't" and justify all their experiences. And they wouldn't be wrong. That's the important part of what I'm saying. An orientation isn't wrong just because there isn't "proof" or whatever. You're not in their head, which is where all the proof lies.

 

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I think there's a line to be drawn at some point though. With homosexuality and heterosexuality you can objectively define your preferences, whereas with these other obscure, vague new terms it's all entirely subjective... which kind of defeats the purpose of trying to categorize it. You could claim to be demisexual and justify any of your sexual activities by saying "yeah I personally felt an emotional connection there." You could be "semisexual" (lol) and justify any sexual activity by saying "yeah I personally found them to be physically attractive" (even if they're hideous to 99% of the population). But you can't sleep exclusively with men while avoiding women and then go on to claim that you're heterosexual.

That's because you're mixing sexual attraction/orientation with sexual activities. You can definitely sleep exclusively with men and still be heterosexual if you're attracted exclusively to women, because the definition covers attraction (Not to say that people wouldn't wonder why, but hey, it's your business). You can have sex with your partner and still call yourself asexual because you're not sexually attracted to anyone. You can be celibate and still call yourself bisexual because you're attracted to men and women. Hell, you could call yourself bisexual when you've only had relationships with one of the sexes, or even just one person. The list goes on.

 

I mean, sexuality is a spectrum (that goes back to the Kinsey scale). Of course things are going to get messy when you try to apply labels to each individual part of it.

But that's just silly. That's like calling myself a mathematician when I went to school for psychology lol

 

If we define things that way, then you can claim to be something simply because it interests or appeals to you, even though you have little-to-no actual experience with the subject at hand. It's like being a hot girl whose only video game history is with Candy Crush, but she proudly describes herself as a nerd lol

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Eh, unless you can't definitely define your preferences. I know of a woman who identifies as "mostly gay" with an implied "Somewhat bi". She's only ever dated women, only ever wanted to date women, and therefore identifies most strongly as a lesbian, but she still can be aesthetically attracted to a few men and so it's not so cut and dry.

If she's only ever dated women, and only ever wanted to date women, then I don't see how she could be considered bisexual in any way. Unless she masturbates to guys all the time or something.

 

And it's way more complicated if you're not monosexual (attracted to only one gender). You're holding up hetero/homo as the level of definitive-ness to which everyone has to be able to define themselves. But a woman who is bi but has only ever had relationships with men because that's the only opportunity she's had is still bi.

If she's genuinely attracted to both men and women (and masturbates to both genders, for example), and would have sex with either gender without hesitation, then sure she's bi.

 

A polyamorous individual who has only ever been with 1 person at a time because they can't manage to get more personalities together is still polyarmorous.

No, they're a serial monogamist. Their goal can be to become polyamorous, but they aren't polyamorous until they're dating multiple people. Just like my friends who are in "monogamous" relationships but sometimes cheat can call themselves "monogamous," but they aren't actually monogamous because they're cheating. They're polyamorous whether they want to admit it or not.

 

Don't you think this sounds a bit silly?

 

Guy: I'm polyamorous

Girl: Oh really? That's awesome, how many people are you seeing right now?

Guy: One.

Girl: wat

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But that's just silly. That's like calling myself a mathematician when I went to school for psychology lol

 

If we define things that way, then you can claim to be something simply because it interests or appeals to you, even though you have little-to-no actual experience with the subject at hand. It's like being a hot girl whose only video game history is with Candy Crush, but she proudly describes herself as a nerd lol

But that's what sexual orientation *is*. It's who you're attracted to, nothing more. You're pretty much arguing that a gay guy who's married to, and sleeps with, a woman because of social pressure is actually bi. :v
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I'm saying you should take both things into account, however "attraction" on its own without any experience/evidence is meaningless. And like I said in an earlier post, certain orientations are vague and ambiguous enough that anyone can claim to be that way, which makes having such orientations sort of pointless

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I guess what I'm arguing is, the only "real" sexual orientations are straight, gay, bisexual, and asexual since those four are all mutually exclusive and anyone can fit into any of those categories. Anything else should be taken with a grain of salt because they're too vague to have any real meaning. If someone wants to claim to be a semisexual, that's cool but it's not its own category. It's just a subcategory of one of the aforementioned four categories.

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I dont think people like being defined by others, especially when it comes to sexuality. And I doubt they like being told what they're not. Sexuality isn't an objective matter, so the rules of objectivity dont really apply. You cant tell someone they arent bisexual just because they've only dated one gender

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Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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I dont think people like being defined by others, especially when it comes to sexuality. And I doubt they like being told what they're not. Sexuality isn't an objective matter, so the rules of objectivity dont really apply. You cant tell someone they arent bisexual just because they've only dated one gender

 

I disagree, I think it's completely objective. Everybody fits into one of the following categories:

-likes only their own sex

-likes only the opposite sex

-likes both sexes

-likes neither

 

Sure nobody likes being defined by others, but that doesn't make the objective criteria any less applicable to them. It just means they're uncomfortable with whatever category they belong in.

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