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Point-counterpoint: What skill should I train to 99?

Posted by Troacctid, in Runescape, Humor 31 August 2010 · 1,079 views

humor hunter point-counterpoint runescape

I was thinking something fast, but also profitable
By a player thinking of going for a skillcape

Hey, so, I was thinking of getting a skillcape. I always feel like such a noob when I put together my outfits and all I have is a dinky Wilderness team cape or something lame like that. I need a cape that's actually cool. Besides, it'll be nice to get a skill to 99. The sort of thing I can show off to my friends, y'know?

What skill should I go for?

I think a fast skill would be pretty good. Maybe cooking or fletching or firemaking. Possibly thieving. I figure since it's my first skillcape, I should start with something easy, right? So something fast seems like a good bet.

But then again, none of those are very useful. I'd like to have something to show for all those hours of work. What's the point of training for over a hundred hours and not getting richer out of the deal, right?

I'm leaning towards hunter. It's pretty fast, it makes great profit, and that cape has some pretty snazzy earth tones going for it. Chinchompas are a pretty good training method, right?

Oh god, please don't train hunter
By a chinchompa

Oh please, don't train hunter.

Have you considered how it feels when you're the one deceived into investigating what looks like a perfectly harmless and interesting box (which as far as we know might contain a nice spicy piece of meat this time) and then suddenly being trapped in an enclosed space, struggling just to breathe, battering against the walls in confusion? How would you feel if some giant stuffed you into his smelly, poorly-ventilated little bag along with hundreds of other innocent people, all of them petrified with terror and panic?

Please, don't do it. It's bad enough that you're kidnapping us, but bringing us to a slave market where we'll be sold off to be forced into the short life of a suicide bomber? We have families, you know. I have two kids of my own. Would you take me away and orphan them? Would you capture and enslave my children instead? Have mercy, sir!

At the very least, I beg of you, have the compassion not to stuff thousands of us into a cramped little backpack. It's not just cruel and unsanitary--it's unsafe. We explode! You have no idea how many innocent chinchompa lives have been lost when some bungling adventurer decided it might be a good idea to bring a bag full of them onto an agility course for some somersaults.

Why don't you train your woodcutting? Lumberjacking, now that's good honest work. Clear some of that ivy that's been creeping up your walls. Or how about crafting? Everybody loves dragonhide armor, right? And you get to spend your time with all those shiny gemstones. Just please, not hunter.

We chinchompas are a peaceful race. We never wanted to hurt anyone. It's not in our nature to be aggressive, and we have nothing against mummies, nechryaels, or monkeys of any kind. After all, it's hard to win a fight when a mere scratch is enough to cause your body to explode. What have we ever done to you? We don't deserve this kind of cruel treatment! In the name of all the is good in this world, don't train your hunter skill to 99! Your conscience will...oh hey, what's in that box over there? It's a little mechanism. I wonder what happens if I--

i like reading your point-counterpoints

Troacctid, I would prefer if you trained your awesome skill to level 120. You're already 99.
This is why I butterfly.

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About the author

Troacctid began adventuring in Runescape in early 2007, and has since traveled all across Gielinor and accumulated healthy amounts of knowledge, wealth, and power. She enjoys undermining evil world-domination schemes, defending the innocent from oppression, wrestling sharks out of the water with her bare hands, and Magic: The Gathering. Her friends call her "Pi".

The name "troacctid" is an acronym for "The Ratio of A Circle's Circumference To Its Diameter" which of course is Pi. Hence the nickname.

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