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Ask Evil Dave

Posted by Troacctid, in Runescape, Humor 21 September 2010 · 1,016 views

advice column humor runescape herblore TzTok-Jad
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Dear Evil Dave,

I need to train my herblore level to 65 so I can complete the "While Guthix Sleeps" quest. What should I do to level up? I am currently level 49 and I have 5m gp in my bank.

--Sleepless in Sophanem


You're in luck! I'm just beginning some new experiments with a DEMONIC TRANSFORMATION POTION OF DOOM! And, as it happens, I'm looking for some EVIL volunteers to help me test it! My last few tries didn't work out quite as well as I'd hoped (they turned the drinkers into HELL-GERBILS!), but the test subjects did mention to me that they'd had enough experience with DEMONIC EXPERIMENTAL HERBLORE that they never wanted to touch it again, so I assume they must have gotten lots of levels!

--Evil Dave

Dear Evil Dave,

Okay, I'm ready to take on Jad, I think. My stats:
80 ranged
82 HP
79 defense
70 prayer
Is this enough? And what setup should I use? Any other tips?

--Fired Up in Falador

Fired Up:

I don't know much about combat, but I think your levels are high enough to BRING UPON THE FIGHT CAVES A RAIN OF HELLFIRE! I recommend that you wear full black d'hide--black is very EVIL in today's fashion. Make sure you bring plenty of DEATH and BLOOD runes so that your enemies will experience DYING AND BLEEDING or at least recognize their EVIL SYMBOLIC REPRESENTATION. You should also carry lots of Unholy Symbols as an EVIL LUCK CHARM. And remember to attack Jad with the most NEFARIOUS weapon of all: THE UNDEAD CHICKEN. Nothing will terrify him more, as everyone knows TzTok-Jad is deathly allergic to chickens!

Bad luck on your mission, Fired Up! I hope to see you in Edgeville soon with a DEADLY fire cape on your back!

--Evil Dave

This makes me feel better about dying to Jad yesterday :thumbup:
Made me giggle :)

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Troacctid began adventuring in Runescape in early 2007, and has since traveled all across Gielinor and accumulated healthy amounts of knowledge, wealth, and power. She enjoys undermining evil world-domination schemes, defending the innocent from oppression, wrestling sharks out of the water with her bare hands, and Magic: The Gathering. Her friends call her "Pi".

The name "troacctid" is an acronym for "The Ratio of A Circle's Circumference To Its Diameter" which of course is Pi. Hence the nickname.

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