Entry posted by Troacctid
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Canifis, 9 Bennath 169
Morytania's tourism industry has been struggling for years. Today, Morytanian Secretary of Commerce Snüp Dagg unveiled a new scheme to attract vacationers: free pants.
"Always in our town of Canifis when we show our true form, the human visitors they tell us they must change their pants," said Dagg. "We are believing that pants are key to the--how you say? Luring? Catching? Ah, attracting--the attracting of new visitors."
To be eligible for the promotion, travellers must visit a variety of exotic locations around Morytania, such as the treacherous Abandoned Mine, which is haunted by poltergeists and a popular hangout for the local vampyres; the dreaded Mort Myre Swamp, which claims hundreds of lives each month; the deadly Slayer Tower, the home of lurking monstrosities such as aberrant spectres, crawling hands, and nechryaels; and the unsettling Port Phasmatys, where the spiritual energies of the Ectofuntus have driven many to madness. After the tour, they will be presented with a free pair of pants.
Response so far has been positive. Said one adventurer, "Oh yeah, after we visited that vampyre place where the humans are kept like cattle, I definitely wanted some new pants." Another respondent commented, "We should get free pants after Mort'ton, too. A shade snuck up and grabbed me from behind, and I sure could have used a change of pants right around then."
Myreque leaders have taken note. A source close to the rebel group who preferred to remain anonymous informed this reporter that the Myreque has begun to offer its own free pants as an incentive to join the resistance. "We can't offer much," said the source, "Just a few meager rags."
"You'll definitely need them, though," he added.
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