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How to eat a shark
Sharks are well-known for eating people, but we often forget that people eat sharks far more often. Want to get in on the feeding frenzy but aren't sure how? I've compiled a handy guide on how to capture, prepare, and feast on your very own shark.
Step 1: Get a shark.
Fig. 1: A shark
Gourmets in search of the delectable shark will first need to obtain a shark to cook. The most obvious method is to simply purchase a shark in trade; however, as any fisherman will tell you, the fish always tastes better when you catch it yourself. It takes a skilled fisher to successfully capture a shark, so before you begin your first attempt at "sharking," it's important that you have plenty of practice with other fish, such as salmon, tuna, or lobsters. Sharks are typically caught with a simple hand-held harpoon, although some hardcore fishers prefer to wrestle sharks from the water with their bare hands; formal training, plenty of upper-arm strength, and a high tolerance for pain are recommended for this method. Murphy's fishing trawler, which docks in Port Khazard, often catches sharks in its nets as well.
Fig. 2: Hardcore style.
Of course, before you can catch the shark, you must first find the shark. Sharks are relatively rare--outside of Runescape's remotest areas, they can be found in significant numbers only in Kandarin, where they infest the waters near Catherby's beaches and feast on the occasional duck at the Fishing Guild. These locations should be easy to access for anyone willing to travel there.
Sharks can also be fished in the oceans that border Runescape's mainland. The Fremennik Province is heavily bolstered by its fishing economy: Rellekka and Jatizso are prominent shark traders, and those who have earned the favor of the local Fremennik tribe will be welcome to fish there. Some sharks can be found on the coast of Isafdar near Prifddinas, although it is unlikely that anyone but the elves will find the location convenient. Likewise with the sharks on the coast of the Feldip Hills, where a grumpy ogress or hungry wolf is always ready to poach your catch.
By far the largest congregation of sharks is on the southern coast of Morytania, where the terrors of the sea feed en masse on the bass there. Some have theorized that the vampyres of the region cultivate the sharks themselves to keep the human prisoners of Meiyerditch from attempting to escape by sea; others postulate that the sharks' affinity for blood instinctively drives them to congregate in the area. Regardless of the reason for their prevalence, the shores of Burgh de Rott are a formidable choice of location for those unafraid of the Vyrewatch sentinels who patrol the skies. Equally hostile to intruders is Ape Atoll, where sharks swim in the waters on the southern beaches of the isle and venomous snakes and jungle spiders can strike from the bushes to attack humans.
Once you have secured a shark, it's time to cook it.
Step 2: Cook the shark.
To cook a shark, simply place it on top of a cooking fire or stove. The shark should very quickly turn a lovely golden-brown color, at which point you may remove it from the heat. Be careful not to leave it on for too long--it only takes a split second for your lovely golden-brown to turn burnt-black and ruin the dish. Caleb, the famous chef from Catherby, is well-known for his enchantment that helps to prevent overcooking, and seeking him out would be wise before beginning this culinary undertaking, as the process of cooking a shark is difficult to perfect despite its simplicity.
Many believe that it is necessary to prepare the fish before cooking; however, this is unnecessary. A whole shark, fresh from the ocean, will cook magnificently whether or not you remove the bones, head, and so on. Most ranges are large enough to support the shark's weight without cutting it into pieces, and even a simple camping fire without so much as a cooking spit will likely have no trouble. Your shark can safely go directly from dock to dinner.
Fig. 3: Successfully cooked.
Step 3: Eat the shark.
Eating the shark, once successfully cooked, is a very simple process. As with most other foods, simply stuff the entire shark in your mouth at once, chew once or twice, and swallow. On what occasions is shark an appropriate dish to serve? Well, again, as with many other foods, sharks are most commonly eaten after suffering serious wounds. Satisfied diners often report carrying a dozen or so whole sharks in their pack while slaying dangerous beasts such as the King Black Dragon and taking them out to snack on while dodging blasts of flame. Before eating your shark, it would be a good idea to put yourself in mortal peril.
Figure 4: A sudden craving for shark.
Congratulations! You're now ready to eat your very own shark! Om nom nom!
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