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Showing content with the highest reputation on 06/19/15 in all areas

  1. 1 point
    So Jason made me cook. So I made cookies. And now I get to tell you about them. The best thing is, they don't explode! So some of you must know by now that Jason is a noob. He likes to give you all abuse as he cooks and make references to hyters and junk. I'm not going to do that as much as him. Instead I shall self bash because I cant use the oven and he had to preheat it for me. I suck. Anyway, today we are making cookies. They do not explode, nor do anything special....but you may be visited by the cookie monster. He will eat your cookies and your soul. OH YEAH, you need a song before we begin. Instead of Queen, I give you this: [spoiler=Well it couldn't be anything else] As with the normal episode, shameless plug to ASDA aka Walmart for our ingredients today: [spoiler=Note: This is not HowToBasic. No Eggs were abused in the making of this episode] Please note, one of those eggs will be fully used and the other we will just be using the yolk. I would explain how you make those separate but again, Jason did that part. I tend to leave a mess of eggshell in my wake. Also, you will need more chocolate chips than what is pictured, I don goof'd and forgot to get the correct amount, which is 335 g (each bag here is 100 g). Also make sure you have UNSALTED butter. Else your cookies won't be nom. BEFORE YOU START MIXING INGREDIENTS: Preheat that oven of yours to 165 C. You'll want it nice and hot for the cookies to cook in. Right! So first off you are going to need the plain flour, Baking Soda and a pinch of salt. Measure out 250 g of shifted flour (you don't want lumps in the cookies that aren't chocolate) and 2 g of Baking soda in the same bowl and add in the pinch of salt. Put that to the side for later, you don't need it yet! [spoiler=I'mm dreaming, of some niceeee cookies...] Next, you'll want 220 g of the dark brown sugar. DO NOT SHIFT IT. Its soft, and won't go through a sieve. Jason tried to tell me I needed too and he was WRONG, YOU [bleep] JASON. Add to that 100 g of Caster or white sugar. I used caster but apparently it doesn't matter. Measure out 170 g of the Unsalted butter. Don't add it to anything yet, though! You need to melt that stuff to a yellow puddle that you'd be happy to see. You can either melt it in the microwave (BE CAREFUL IF YOU DO THAT) or melt it over boiling water or something like that. This was another thing that the noob did, because APPARENTLY I'd burn myself (he's right). [spoiler=Buttery goodness] Once you've melted that butter up, add it to the sugars and beat it together. After that, you'll be adding in that one whole egg, and the egg yolk. At the same time, add in 15ml of Vanilla extract. [spoiler=Only one of those hands is mine...] Then you get to beat this dough up until its light and floofy, and looks something like this: [spoiler=Not as cute as a kitty, but just as light!] Then you are finally going to add in the shifted ingredients you sorted earlier (you DID do that already, right?) into this sugary, vanilla mess and mix it all together. You can add bits at a time, because mixing this lot together is hard work...which is why I made Jason do it. AHAHAHAHAHAA Now comes the fun part. Add in your mix (or one flavour, I won't judge!) of 335 g worth of chocolate chunks in and mix that all together. Again, its pretty tough to mix, so you can always make someone else do that hard bit for you. Gf Jason's arms. [spoiler=Don't eat all the chunks beforehand, as tempting as it is!] Here's the funnest part - you get to decide how big or small the cookies are. According to the recipe I used, it can make 1-15 cookies. So I made 5...4 normal-ish cookies and a PIZZA COOKIE! [spoiler=Yummmmmmmmmm] You'll want to keep your eye on the cookies so they don't burn, but the can take between 12-15 minutes if they are normal sized, or longer if you make the PIZZA COOKIE. So just check it until you are happy and its not burnt to all hell. And here are the results of the cookies! [spoiler=Admit it, you want these] [spoiler=PIZZA COOKIE] [spoiler=The other cookies] I recommend that you do leave these to cool before eating. Else you will be burnt, and that won't be fun! I'll be having mine with a lovely bowl of Vanilla ice cream, so be very jelly people. I also recommend that you use a bigger baking tray than I did/make smaller cookies...because otherwise you end up with a massive weird cookie cow pat instead of neat little separate cookies. I hope that you also enjoy the fruits of non-exploding cooking, and rest assured your usual bashing by Jason will resume whenever he gets off his butt and makes food.
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