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Posts posted by muggiwhplar

  1. I threw out all my dishes and just used paper plates/bowls and plastic silverware when I was in my early 20s because I hated doing dishes and my apartment didn’t have a dishwasher.


    Otherwise, action precedes motivation. Set a timer for 1 minute, tell yourself you only have to do the dishes for 1 minute, then you can stop when the timer goes off. Usually when the timer goes off you’ll keep performing the task

  2. I think if it seems like a career you'll enjoy better then switching over is a good idea. Just be aware of doing it for the money.


    Right now an enormous amount of investment is being funneled into software startups, some of which are just selling air with a cool app to display it like wework. Others like uber can only ever hope to be profitable if they establish a monopoly or near enough one. But on the whole most of these are regular businesses who have eccentric startup CEOs with the Steve Jobs persona and language, and a slight layer of software that makes investors believe its a tech company. 



    Anyways I think most of the things that need to be monopolies to work will either eventually become them or fall apart, and while thats uncertain there will be lots of money flowing into tech companies so that investors can strike gold on being part of the one that does make it big.


    And down the line I think investors will be wary of the tech startup fad thats big right now which means software engineer wages that are inflated by Silicon Valley will start to decline, since I believe the whole economy has to pay software engineers more to prevent them from hopping ship and moving to the bay area. 



    Not that the tech scene will ever really die, I read about database admins making 200k a year during the .com boom and here we are again in 2019. But be aware of where you want to specialize and the expected trajectory of your career. 


    I'm not really doing it for the money-- my current career in sales/real estate pays very well and has a ton of freedom which will be difficult to replace, but I don't really want to be working in sales/real estate for the rest of my life since it's not something that I'm naturally into. I'm mostly switching to computer science since I feel like I'm more naturally inclined towards it. My friends/family always told me that it would be a good fit for me and a lot of women I meet from online dating are surprised that I don't work in that industry lol



    It surprises me, sometimes, that we never had an out and out nazi on this board. The most radical right wing belief it feels like we had was muggi's PUA nonsense, which, as far as things go, is pretty good.

    As someone who's never followed politics and has never voted, I have no clue how you came to associate my perspective on dating with radical right wing beliefs.

    Not yours in particular, I suppose, but all the PUA figure heads I knew about turned into regressive political youtubers, so.


    And, I guess, in further fairness to you, that list might be a singleton containing Roosh V, but in fairness to me, a lot of PUA stuff is supremely sexist.


    Ultimately I guess I'm just saying it could have been a lot worse on the forum.


    These days I don't really associate myself with any kind of PUA/Manosphere/Red Pill stuff. When I was younger, I gave those communities the benefit of the doubt because I felt that their hearts were in the right place by encouraging men to become better versions of themselves. But now that I'm content with my level of success, I've had enough experiences to disprove a lot of their dogma and I no longer find it helpful to entertain their ideas. Not to mention a lot of their ideas are unfalsifiable and/or have been debunked as pseudoscience.


    In other words: they're right about many things (e.g. take responsibility for your life, go to the gym and develop healthy habits, etc.), but the things they're right about can be found elsewhere surrounded by less toxic ideologies; and the things that are unique to those communities are too misogynistic and pseudoscientific for my taste (e.g. the idea of alpha males and beta males; the idea that all women think/feel the same way about certain things).


    That being said, I apologize if I've said things to you in the past that came across as insensitive or hostile. That was not my intention and I hope we can let bygones be bygones.


    I think I'm done editing this post now :P

    • Like 1
  4. Muggi's PUA wasn't toxic. His attitude is if your unsatisfied with your sex life, go and work on being more conventionally attractive by working on things in your control. Such as lifting weights and having social hobbies. Or if your interesting a particular type of person, move cities if your home town doesn't have that. 


    His attitude was radical individual responsibility. Which if someone has learned helplessness is incredibly useful.


    I would gladly give the same advice to anyone who isn't happy with their sex life or relationships


    Pretty much. Though the people who need that advice the most are, paradoxically, on their own to figure that out because if I try to teach it to them, it's essentially victim blaming... as evidenced by me trying to "help" people like Tesset, Alg, and Horatio with the things they were complaining about over the years. Kudos to Veiva for always giving me the benefit of the doubt.


    I will concede that groups such as PUAs have a very fluid and subjective ideology which is dictated by the individual. I don't really identify as a "PUA" (and I'm not sure if I ever really did to begin with, even if my mentors did). More like, I evolved into what PUAs would call a "natural" through years of self-reflection, self-improvement, and socialization. Dating coaches like Blackdragon influenced me a lot in my early 20s, but I essentially found myself to be happier and more successful by carving my own path and gradually "unlearning" a lot of his philosophy since it's at odds with my values and my personality. For example, Blackdragon has abnormally low empathy for others and I have abnormally high empathy for others (even if my posts don't reflect that since you usually only see the side of me that's ruthlessly debating something online). Now that I'm older and more experienced, I view a lot of his advice as leading women on and being deceptive. He might not be as misogynistic as some of the dating gurus out there, but if misogyny has a spectrum, I think he's definitely on it.


    As it stands now, I still go on anywhere from 1-5 dates per week, and end up having sex with about 1 in 3 of women I meet. But it's important to note that unlike Blackdragon (as well as most PUAs and men in general), I'm entirely upfront and honest about my intentions with them on the first date. I tell them that I don't want to lead them on and that I'm not looking for any kind of commitment; I just want to meet cool girls and have fun. Unsurprisingly, every woman lights up when I tell them that-- even if we don't end up having sex because we're on different wavelengths. I think they're used to meeting guys who are either indecisive about what they're looking for, or they know what they're looking for but they don't have the balls to be upfront and honest about it. Blackdragon led me to believe that being upfront and honest like that doesn't work; he's wrong. I think he's just really bad at communicating... which ties into having low empathy and emotional intelligence, as well as a dose of toxic masculinity which makes him averse to talking about his feelings and trying to put himself in others' shoes.

  5. It surprises me, sometimes, that we never had an out and out nazi on this board. The most radical right wing belief it feels like we had was muggi's PUA nonsense, which, as far as things go, is pretty good.


    As someone who's never followed politics and has never voted, I have no clue how you came to associate my perspective on dating with radical right wing beliefs.

  6. [bleep].

    I don't know what's gone into me, why and how the [bleep] a girl has caused me this much anxiety. Has not happened in years. I just saw her for 5 minutes, for the first time in a month. Didn't even touch her. And [bleep]. I just babbled. And messed up. Completely. Hot bloody dang.


    IME it'll probably take at least 6 months before that anxiety starts to become more manageable. But I've always told women like that how I felt about them, and that I can no longer see them because of it. Helps with closure and makes it easier to essentially cut them out of my life until I'm back to being level-headed

  7. Like I said in the Discord (albeit more colorfully), I only mentioned who it was to show it was a girl (one of so many) who said I looked gay. And never did I beg or even ask for Major Vezon's advice.


    I was genuinely asking for advice on why I look gay.


    not sure what exactly you guys are talking about since I seem to be out of the loop, but we've given you input in the past regarding your androgyny. people are going to think you're gay if you try to emphasize/express your feminine side. if you don't want people to think you're gay, then you're going to have to emphasize your masculinity and minimize your femininity. if you tell women that you like to wear dresses or that you've had sex with men before, they're going to think you're gay. if you abandon your lifting routine and end up being skinnyfat at 5'9 150 lbs (or less), they're not necessarily going to think you're gay, but they're also not going to view you as a masculine/sexual entity. same goes for if you don't have any facial hair, don't have confident/masculine body language, and self-edit/filter yourself when talking to women (meaning, prioritizing politeness over honesty).

  8. I always thought the Tinder feed was a stupid way of Tinder devs trying to make Tinder into more of a social media platform like Facebook instead of a dating app. On Thursday night at like 10pm my Tinder feed updated to show a girl I messaged months ago suddenly adding a bunch of new photos. I took that to mean that she's back on the market. I just picked up where I left off and asked her if she wanted to meet up for drinks. Ended up going on an impromptu drink date with her and making out with her. I'll have to keep an eye on my Tinder feed more often :D

  9. Understanding is not necessary; basic decency and respect should suffice. You don't need to understand why or how deadnaming and misgendering hurts in order to accept that it does and stop doing it.

    I think understanding is definitely a prerequisite in this scenario. In an ideal world, it shouldn't be, but that's not how the real world works in this case. If Tess wanted to be called Malgoroth, the champion of the forgotten realms, would you call her that without question?


    If you would, that's good for you, but I'd argue that most people would be a bit apprehensive about that. I had an old coworker named Oscar. He didn't mind being called Oscar the Grouch playfully, but he drew an arbitrary line at Oscar Meyer-- he hated being called that for some reason. I respected that, so I'd make sure never to call him Oscar Meyer. But if he went on to say, call me Oscaroth, the champion of the forgotten realms, I'd tell him to go [bleep] himself :lol: But if he told me he was transitioning and wanted me to call him Oscarina, I'd be cool with that.


    I'd imagine Tess' mom probably doesn't believe that transgenderism is a thing. And she probably can't be bothered to do any research on it because it's propaganda to her and her son (daughter?) is brainwashed/delusional. But if she believed/understood how transgenderism works, I doubt she'd have any qualms about it. My cousin came out as gay a few years ago and his father wasn't pleased. But they both love each other and always have loved each other, so his father quickly came to accept and embrace it. I have a feeling Tess never had the same mutually-loving relationship like my cousin/uncle have, which makes it less of a cooperative "let's figure out how we can work through this together" and more of a competitive "I shouldn't have to change my beliefs/behaviors for you" dynamic.


    But I don't know either of them IRL so who knows.

  10. I am better than everyone else. I am extremely hard working, focused, stubborn, disciplined. I'm selfless to a fault. I am statistically most likely the smartest person in a room of 100. I have never met a programmer as talented as me.


    My ego is enormous but I don't flaunt it. I'm realistic and understand my thinking is slightly delusional or overconfident so I downplay it.

    I feel like you’re contradicting yourself here

    • Like 1
  11. @muggi

    I guess I should point out that there's a lot to untangle and it's kind of hard to say what's directly due to... anything. Particularly where hormones are concerned, what feels right to me probably isn't going to feel right to a cis dude.


    That's cute Nyo :)

    It's kind of a mind-[bleep], really. Coming up on 30, married for a few years, and... now I'm wondering what else I've been missing out on.

    Is it purely hormonal? Does it suggest that my baseline dissociation has been stronger than we'd realized? Is it just my brain being stupid? I don't know, but you can bet your ass I'm going to ride it out.


    I listened to this a long time ago and thought it was interesting-- was curious how it compared to your experience w/ hormones

  12. Made myself a promise at the beginning of the year that I wasn't going to buy any more men's clothes. Don't buy something I'm going to throw out in a year, ya know.


    Ripped my backup pair of dress pants today, so now I have a decision to make...


    I'm in the same boat, for different reasons (been bulking so my clothes won't fit for long). You can prob get some cheap dress pants on sale somewhere or go to a thrift store. Or rent them if you'll only need them like once

  13. I've always enjoyed this thought exercise: imagine how dumb the average person is. Now understand that half the world's population is dumber than that.



    IIRC that's less of a thought exercise and more of a George Carlin standup bit :P


    the average person's IQ is gradually rising every year... I really don't think the average person is dumb. they're pretty well-rounded and intelligent compared to in the past. better to think that half the world's population is even smarter than that IMO. sure one idiot can cause a lot of damage, but the opposite could be said for one extraordinary intelligent person

    • Like 2
  14. also you'll know your pics are good when you get consistent matches. I was only getting like 1 match per week when I had shitty photos, now it's up to 3-5 per day depending on how much I'm swiping.


    you will probably need to go out of your way to get good photos. you need to pick the correct outfit, the correct lighting/location, the correct filters, etc. my main pic, which really skyrocketed my results, is a closeup shot of me wearing a tux. my brother took a pic of me just standing against a wall in my bedroom, with the correct lighting, and we were joking around and one of the pics he took was while I was genuinely laughing. that pic ended up getting the best results for me. I also made the pic black and white since it looks better and makes it less obvious that I'm just standing against my bedroom wall.


    IMO it's sort of a waste of time to ask us for our opinions on your photos when you could just plug them into tinder and see if they're actually good or not. also, don't use tinder's smart photos feature.



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