O, I know why. Because my car a/c is broken. Because an old guy back in april slammed on his brakes, in the middle of a four lane road, with no one in front of him. So I got a needle hole poke in my a/c tube. So all the freon leaked out. So now I have to pay $450 for a new tube + freon. All good, right? Well, except for the fact that the canadian bank gigged me $550 this week, because my mom overdrew my account. All good, right? Well... No. She refuses to take the blame for it, and wrote me check for $150. Generous, right? No. She already owed me $300 for when she spent my college fund. Now she won't give me that $300. I can still make it, right? No. I need to make a down payment of $600 on August 6th if I want to expand my cerebral domain. Easy, right? No. I also owe $500 in bills by Aug 6th, with 2 paychecks inbetween. Easy, right? No. I can only make $1200 at the very very most in those two paychecks. Thats enough though, right? Just don't get those #5 no cheese no mayo at wendy's. Right? Uhhh... No. My parents said I have to leave the house soon. Damn Saru, you're a bad kid, right? No. I just said I wouldn't let my mom use the car because she's an absent minded driver who has totaled 3 vehicles already and I don't want to add to the list. Wow Saru, you were being disrespectful! ... Right? Debatable. Considering my mom called my selfish sinning fool moments before. Oh well. I have friends I can room with to pay rent, right? No. I only have 2 irl friends. Yea. I said it. No one really likes me irl. Not sure why, I've lost a lot of weight, and I'm honestly not that bad looking. Anyways, one of those friends is in New York for college, one is at a dorm. Well its ok, just room with... strangers? Sure. But I'm gay and all the available apts ask for "calm Christian principled young men and women." yikes, sounds like a nunnery.
Well Saru, why don't you just be nicer to your parents? You know what, you're right. At the moment all I do is work 40 hours a week, do 4 loads of dishes, clean the mens bathroom which literally looks like an exxon bathroom after 5 mins. I swear they miss on purpose. And then I clean my room spotless twice a week, while keeping all my laundry done, and I even cook dinner occasionally. My brothers do nothing but increase their gravitational pull, and decrease their realistic grasp of how the world works. Cheep cheep. Cheep Cheep. Oh sorry, those are my birds. I guess it's time to wake and get dressed. Aww, they're singing for me. Wtf. my name isn't Cinderella. Oh well, I guess they are similar enough. To top it off, well, to be honest, I honestly (lol) don't like telling people this because they think I'm fishing for pity. Which I'm not, I'M TROLLLING! :XD: (get it?) (no?) (*sigh* trolling is a type of fishing. it was funny to me. no I don't care if it was funny to you or not. Well it was funny to me. Well [bleep] you.) But I've been clinically depressed for my whole childhood, and I just tried killing last week, I took 45 adderall pills, and placed the bottle in the sink so it looked like it just spilled. I went up to my bed, took 4 unisoms and fell asleep at 3 pm. Woke up at midnight. Nothing happened. Nothing. I was more pissed than I ever had been before. Technically 20 should be lethal. And I can't buy a [bleep]ing gun because I've been in therapy. It's [bleep]ing [cabbage], I tell you. Anyways, despite the pubescent trolling joke, I'm honestly not looking for pity. But I really don't know what to do. I tend not to post this kind of [cabbage] on the forums (save like 5-8 blog posts over the years) but I just don't [bleep]ing know. I almost killed my dad tonight, but stopped myself. I don't want to go to [bleep]ing jail. But I can't get out of the house because I have literally no money. And I will not sell myself to their [cabbage] beliefs, and [cabbage] ideas. (gays are satanic cannibalistic perverted child molesters? The [bleep]?)
Well idk. any advice I guess,
But until the next test
I will rest
If you wanna post be my guest,
-Saru'ness' *like highness :XD:*
- Read more...
- 9 comments
- 1146 views