Jump to content

What would you do? Spiritual beliefs in relationships


Recommended Posts

No. I'd rather have Sunday morning sex.




But really, this question isn't very relevant to anyone since most people would never date and therefore fall in love with soemone who was a die hard religious fanatic or a religious fanatic wouldn't date and fall in love with an Atheist. As it's clear that it's not going to work if each of them are constantly trying to convert or deconvert the other.


With so many trees in the city you could see the spring coming each day until a night of warm wind would bring it suddenly in one morning. Sometimes the heavy cold rains would beat it back so that it would seem that it would never come and that you were losing a season out of your life. But you knew that there would always be the spring as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person had died for no reason. In those days though the spring always came finally but it was frightening that it had nearly failed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You can choose what you want to believe..


It's not that easy. Beliefs work on the unconscious side. Someone religious and obese by example may believe "My body is only the vessel of my soul, it is not important", but the obese person does not consciously know he believes that, and he wonders "Gee, why did I end up obese?!" while the answer lies in introspection of his mind, and of his actions.




The obese who realises this can try to change his beliefs to by example: "My body is my temple". Since he is religions, and that a temple is important for him, chances are he will lose weight. But it's not an easy task to change beliefs. Especially in spiritual beliefs. In the case of that obese man, it was obiously better for him and for his health to have the belief number 2, but in spirituality, it's difficult to make the difference between good and bad beliefs (as in good belief equals better for the psychological health of the individual).




Yes you can choose what you believe, and hah, it's not an easy task. Most of the beliefs we have were forced upon us by the medias, not by our own free will. Example: People who are thin are better than people who are fat, a very spread belief. And having such beliefs is very depressing for people who are fat, especially if everyone around them have that belief aswell (which they do).

2480+ total

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As long as she understands and respects that I'm not interested in taking sides, then I'm fine with it. I'll go to church with her if she wants, a hour or two waiting around isn't going to kill me.


How many is a lot of kids? I would go to 3 max...But we could talk it out. She could tell the kids about her religon, I really don't care. I would teach them my view as well, which is just to respect everyone else's believes. All I ask about them belief-wise.

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."


Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have dated an athiest before, and it wasn't really a problem. She respected me going to church, praying, etc. and I respected her not doing so. TBH, we avoided discussing religion for the sake of our relationship (it was a 3 month relaitionship, we broke up, but it wasn't over religion).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would consider a healthy marriage one in which all of my needs and all of my wife's needs would be met - physical, emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual. Therefore, in the interest of her and my spiritual well-being, I would only marry a woman who shared my beliefs.




Now, small doctrinal or practical differences can be worked through and compromised upon; rather, I'm talking about core religious beliefs which affect the way a person lives and thinks.



"In so far as I am Man I am the chief of creatures. In so far as I am a man I am the chief of sinners." - G.K. Chesterton

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think I would fall in love with someone who has totally different believes with me. And the Christian girl scenario wouldn't work because they get told to keep away from the none believers =]




+ ever seen a hot religious person? Thought not :-w




Edit: Thinking about it, there was some lovely girl at church ones.. but she wasn't that Christian ..

A friend to all is a friend to none.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

(though it's always sad to see the faces of little kids in church. They all look terribly bored and upset :().




At my church the kids are the opposite? Maybe you just go to a dead church.




Given that, I would tell my boyfriend that I do not believe in God and will tolerate his beliefs as long as he doesn't force them upon me.




I don't see how you could just tolerate his beliefs as they differ at the very core. Sure, beliefs like how to discipline kids and what your favourite food is can be reconciled, but the beliefs that determine who you live your life for, what you believe the point of life is, and the beliefs that determine your every priority? I don't see how you can reconcile that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd prefer to date someone who is Jewish, because I'd really like to raise my kids Jewish, and it can get complicated otherwise - but of course, I've dated people of other religions.




Also, in general, people prefer to date those who have similar values and world views. As such, it seems likely that the type of person I would fall for would be less spiritual than more. Again, it's not a hard rule, but just is true of people I've dated in the past :)

Everybody hug and spread the love :D



Link to comment
Share on other sites

She could try her heart out to convert me but I'm confident I wouldn't budge. I'd definately not force what I think and the way I feel on her.




The one thing I would not tolerate is a prospective female wanting to teach my kids about any religous story or book in a directed or biased nature.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Now, she can believe in God, I don't mind that part, I just don't want her forcing it on me.




I agree completely. Thusfar my whole life has consisted of my mother forcing her religion onto me after I made it clear that I don't believe in God. Despite that, she still drags me to church every Sunday, in hopes that I will miraculously "see the light!"




I find it very wrong for people to force their religion onto others. Sure when they're little kids I can see parents bringing their kids along to church so they get a sense of their religion and will be able to make their own decision later having had some experience (though it's always sad to see the faces of little kids in church. They all look terribly bored and upset :(). But once they've made that decision, I find it cruel to continue forcing your religion upon them.




Given that, I would tell my boyfriend that I do not believe in God and will tolerate his beliefs as long as he doesn't force them upon me.




Same wiht me, everybody in my family believes in God and I don;t (well, my dad night not, I really don;t know), and they keep pressing God upon me (especially my grandmother [both sides]), dragging me to church every now and then, trying to convince me that God exists. I would date someone who does believe in God, but only if they don;t impress Him upon me, and if she understands I don;t want to go to church with her.


Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!



Link to comment
Share on other sites

I could not be in a relationship in which someone tried to force their beliefs on me. It's a very unattractive quality, and it's something I don't put up with. I'm tolerant of other people's beliefs and everything like that, but I don't try to force my views on other people, and I expect to be treated the same way.




That being said, my boyfriend is Christian and I am not. But we are both very tolerant of each other's views, we understand that we think differently and we leave it at that. We both consider ourselves to be very open-minded. He's not one of those bible-thumping Christians. He rarely goes to church, and when he goes and wants me to go with him, I usually do.




I think it's different with each person. Some people need others of the same faith to make them happy, some don't.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We all have core spiritual/religious beliefs. Now, in a love relationship, how does that affect you?




What if you were in love with someone who was, by example, a radical christian while you're an athiest. Your girlfriend does not want sex before marriage, she wants to bring you at the church every sunday, she wants a ton of kids, and so on. You on the other hand, don't want to know anything about the church, you don't want kids, you don't want to marry yet. What would you do? Would you try to reform your partner to your ideas, try to cope living with that person, be reformed by your partner, or simply quit the relationship?




It would be interesting if you or people you know have been in such relationships, and how things happened.




After all, think at it, what would you do if the man/woman of your dreams was in a weird religion? It's like a bad surprise. Becuase you never know who you have a crush on might really be, belief-system-wise.




I don't know that I could deal with somebody who's core beliefs are particularly different from my own. It seems that in such a case, the two would be kinda like a team of oxen who each want to go different directions. Ultimately they would either be forced apart of grow to hate one another.




One of the first things that I have to know about a person before I am willing to consider them as a potential life-partner is what they believe to be true about the nature of existance and the nature of God. My fiance' happens to believe close to the same thing as I do in both regards. Sometimes we disagree in as much as I am somewhat more conservative and suspicious of people's motives then she is. And in a sense I place a higher value on the fairness of a process then of the outcomes of that process, and she places a higher value on the fairness of the outcome. However, since we both believe in (and act as if it is true) the God of the Bible, and since we both love HIM even more then we love one another, we are traveling on a common path and make suitable companions for one another.




That being the case, the differences actually make life more interesting. Sometimes I'm wrong, sometimes she's wrong, and a lot of times we aren't really sure who's right, but it gives us something to talk about and discuss. Both of us like that.




I don't think that it is possible to be in a relationship with somebody of a radically different system of viewing the world from your own and not either appear to be trying to change them, or trying to do the actual thing. Just telling it how you see it will almost always appear as if you are attempting to disprove them. In a sense you are when your view and theirs are in sharp contrast because whether or not people admit it we all tend to agree that "the truth is to say of what is, that it is, and to say of what is not, that it is not. The falsity is to say of what is, that it is not, and to say of what is not, that it is."--Aristotle, in Metaphysics.




By saying that most people tend to believe this what I mean is to say that we tend to act as if this is true, at least when it is in our benefit, or there is no personal loss to do so. An example of this is if a person steals our car and then makes the claim that we sold it to them or whatnot. Or for neutrality, Answering a poll regarding what you look like in an ideal significant other.

"He is no fool who gives up that which he can not keep to gain that which he can not lose."

--Jim Elliot


"You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me. In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England. I did not then see what is now the most shining and obvious thing; the Divine humility which will accept a convert even on such terms. The Prodical Son at least walked home on his own two feet. But who can duly adore that love which will open the high gates to a prodigal who is brought in kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance of escape? The words compelle intrare, compel them to come in, have been so abused by wicked men that we shudder at them; but, properly understood, they plumb the depth of the Divine mercy. The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men, and His compulsion is our liberation."


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.