Snake and noob(SEASON 2 BEGINS!!!)

[Bluejayfan94]

So Blue Jay Files are done?

[Harakiri]

If you wanna continue the show...you can Blue Jay.

[Harakiri]

SEASON 2 IS HERE!

 

 

 

SNAKE AND NOOB

 

 

 

Season 2

 

THE WHITE KNIGHTS SPECIAL "WELCOME BACK S+N" EPISODE

 

 

 

"Burn the Barbarians!" Yelled sir Amik Varze.

 

 

 

"But sir..."

 

 

 

"No buts...they stole my toiletry!"

 

 

 

"So? You can just get some more from the castles basement!"

 

 

 

"We have a basement?"

 

 

 

"Uh...duh..."

 

 

 

"No we don't...For lying...you shall get hanged!"

 

 

 

"What but sir..."

 

 

 

"You have brought dishoner on your family. I know all my men like the back of my hand and I always thought you were the best...Whats you name again?"

 

 

 

"Jamie sir...and I clean the chicken turds off the pavement."

 

 

 

"And that makes the best knight does it not?"

 

 

 

"What about you?"

 

 

 

"I am not a knight...I am a god!"

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

"If the civilians cannot give you information than cut off there pinky!"

 

 

 

"Sir...we can't...the King of Varrock..."

 

 

 

"The King of Varrock will have your head...this is his domain..."

 

 

 

"The King of varrock can lick my..."

 

 

 

"Sir...the King says to leave or he will kill you..."

 

 

 

"With what?"

 

 

 

"With a bunch of Black knights...they will come...burn the white knight castle, and take over Falador..."

 

 

 

"Bring it!"

 

 

 

"HOLY CRAP...THE BLACK KNIGHTS ARE EATING MY PET CAT."

 

 

 

"See sir..."

 

 

 

"Oh, it was just a dumb..."

 

 

 

"HOLY CRAP...MY RARE CALICO COLORED HAMSTER!"

 

 

 

"What the hell is a hampster? And why can it not defend itself from the tyranny of the Bla..."

 

 

 

"HOLY CRAP...THE KNIGHT IS EATING MY HEAD."

 

 

 

"Since when did the black knights become cannibals?"

 

 

 

"Since we started eating their children..."

 

 

 

"When did we do that?"

 

 

 

"When you said that you wanted something other than chicken for dinner."

 

 

 

"Umm..."

 

 

 

"HELP ME...THEY ARE LICKING MY BRAIN..."

 

 

 

"How the hell can he talk when he is missing his brain?"

 

 

 

"WAIT A MINUTE...HOW THE HELL CAN I TALK WHEN I AM MISSING MY BR..."

 

 

 

"Well, I guess I can put this mystery in my book."

 

 

 

"You write books sir?"

 

 

 

"Yes, I gave all the white knights a copy of my book "Shiny White Armor."

 

 

 

"There was a shortage of toilet paper that day."

 

 

 

"So what? You know the old white knight saying...

 

WHEN YOU SITTING ON THE JOHN AND THE TOILET PAPERS GONE

 

BE A MAN, USE YOUR HAND."

 

 

 

"Well...we decided to use your book because our hands were soiled enough from picking up chicken turds...and the shortage of gloves...Why did you have to hang the guy who picked up those turds?"

 

 

 

"He lied to me..."

 

 

 

"About what?"

 

 

 

"About having a basement..."

 

 

 

"Sir we do..."

 

 

 

"LIER! I will hang you! But until then, read this preview of the new season of Snake and Noob!"

 

 

 

 

 

SNAKE AND NOOB SEASON 2

 

 

 

BLOODY

 

GORY!

 

FUNNY

 

I READ IT...AND YOU SHOULD TOO!

 

 

 

THIS SEASON:

 

NOOBS SECRET

 

BLUE JAY AND THE NOOB POLICE

 

THE SECOND GOD WAR CHRONICLES CONTINUE...

 

AND MORE CRAPPY NEWS REPORTS AS THE 6:02 NEWS RETURNS!

 

STAY TUNED FOR THE GREATEST SNAKE AND NOOB SEASON YET!

 

 

 

 

 

"Wow...I love that commercial. I can't wait to read those...Whats that word say? Oh...I cannot wait to read the amazingly superior adventures of Snake and Noob. S+N is superior to anything else. Vote Snake for president...Can I hang this lier now? Oh thank god...I was getting worried that there would only be 1 death in this episode...or pre episode...or read the next season of Snake and Noob or else a giant rat will eat your brains."

 

 

 

 

 

SNAKE AND NOOB SEASON 2...STARTS TODAY...OR TOMORROW...OR WHEN I HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO WRITE MORE...

[sephiroth_king]

Dude, thats enough. No offense, but this story is old, and stories DON'T HAVE SEASONS. You wrote in your Author index that this story was popular. Put in it, instead, "This story got extremely annoying after two days, but I'm gonna put it's popular anyway!!1"

 

 

 

(And ADD THE 1)

 

 

 

This story gave the library a bad name when it started. So I think it's time to stop.

 

 

 

(I may not be writing a lot, but I'm planning to. Sephiroth_King will reign in the library again.)

[Nom]

I have to agree with sephiroth_king. Enough already. This hardly constitutes writing as it is. . .

[archimage_a]

Hmmm. Ok to be honest the story wasn't that good. It has changed from an outside the rules but very funny story, into a story that is on the edge of the rules that isn't that funny.

 

 

 

Look at it like this:

 

Your story was good because it was believable and it made fun of what really happened in runescape(It made the unrealistic runescape world funny because it gave it a shot of realism). Now its trying to be funny by taking something that is fairly realistic and making it unrealistic(Sir Amik Varze becoming super senial and declaring war on everyone, when in runescape he follows the pretty accepted role of head knight of Falador)

 

 

 

I would say let it continue and make constructive critisms. It doesn't really break any of the rules as such...although you might want to make it slightly more clear who is talking because it got a bit confusing.

 

I want it to continue because its a good story, but if its going to stay like this then it just detracts from the overal greatness of S&N.

 

 

 

Also being as it is just a pre-story launch I am reserving final judgement till I actually see a story.

[Xewleer]

I have to agree with sephiroth_king. Enough already. This hardly constitutes writing as it is. . .

 

 

 

+111111111!!!!!

 

 

 

let it rest...

[Fist_of_ozzy]

Thank god!

 

 

 

Serouisly, S & N is done, just let it end!

 

 

 

Finallly, it's over!

[JJGM]

Wow. Pure crap. Never write again.

[archimage_a]

Everyone is entitle to their opinions, but it is not "pure crap" and "Never write again" is not only unnessercery it is offensive to everything this Library stands for.

 

 

 

Ok I am defending something that the masses don't like, but there is Pm's for this kind of slander. Its not something you need to post about, not unless you can and will give a listing of the bad features. Thats what turns Flame into Constructive Crititism.

 

 

 

If you really have read it all, and found it to be as bad as that then I feel sorry that you can't accept any of the issues touch on in the whole story. So please only post if you have something important and useful to say.

[Harakiri]

hay...i dont see a mod telling me to stop making them, and i knew flames would ensue over this...but most of the ppl telling me to end it are the ppl who hated it in the first place and whom (no offence) I could give a pigs [wagon] about on the topic of S+N. All my fans wanted me to continue the original and thats what I am doing.

 

 

 

I am sry for anyone who is mad...but I feel that I may gain some more fans with a new series of stories that does not as much relate to Snake and Noob as much as the history of Runescape...and why Runescape has been changeing...I say let the madness continue and after this season or Book or whatever you wanna call it I will give up unless I gain less of an audience.

[Fist_of_ozzy]

hay...i dont see a mod telling me to stop making them, and i knew flames would ensue over this...but most of the ppl telling me to end it are the ppl who hated it in the first place and whom (no offence) I could give a pigs [wagon] about on the topic of S+N. All my fans wanted me to continue the original and thats what I am doing.

 

 

 

I am sry for anyone who is mad...but I feel that I may gain some more fans with a new series of stories that does not as much relate to Snake and Noob as much as the history of Runescape...and why Runescape has been changeing...I say let the madness continue and after this season or Book or whatever you wanna call it I will give up unless I gain less of an audience.

 

 

 

Tell me, are you blind or just pure stupid?

 

 

 

Have you looked at the last five posts on this thread lately?

 

 

 

I'm sorry, but you have to face the fact that S & N is dead. From what I see, Alot of people want you to stop (Including me) Making more would just get more people angry.

 

 

 

My suggestion is you should end the story now!

 

 

 

hay...i dont see a mod telling me to stop making them

 

Yeah well, the people are telling you. Mods don't have any overpower on what they type than what we have. They help clean up and maintain the forums.

 

 

 

All my fans wanted me to continue the original and thats what I am doing.

 

For the last time kid, your fans are gone on this story.

 

 

 

but I feel that I may gain some more fans with a new series of stories that does not as much relate to Snake and Noob as much as the history of Runescape

 

That's a good thing. I Guarentee you will gain more fans with a different story that gets of the S&N like genre.

[Xewleer]

Ozzy! That is too harsh! One must say these things in love.

 

 

 

I believe that writing talent (which you do have) will be better used on things which will be more... non-transpecies gay or whatever that guy was... immorality gains you fame, but it does not gain you respect.

[Unoalexi]

Honestly, this story was funny for a little while but then it got really lame.. the longer you stretch out the joke the less funny it gets.. Somewhat like Carlos Mencia or Britney Spears, but that's another story... :roll:

 

 

 

You can continue to write these 'stories', no one can really stop you.. After all you do have freedom of speech or something like that.. But we here at this Library believe your creative efforts could be spent on something that's.. well, something that has more 'class' if you know what I mean. Like, with less bathroom humor and more irony and wit.. Like I said, it was funny for a little bit, but now it's just lame..

[LolzEditor]

Snake and Noob was actually good at the start, but it just kept going downhill. Once one reads ten ore more chapters, the jokes aren't funny anymore. In fact, by around your 25th chapter, when you started taking the "serious approach" on Snake and Noob, it wasn't funny at all. You just took the jokes out but left the blood and gore in. I personally find having your protagonist minced into meatballs after every chapter quite repedetive. As archimage pointed out, its unrealistic. Fist of Ozzy has some good points, and you really don't have many fans compared to all the other epics in the Varrok Library.I corrected this work purely out of boredom, and don't be offended by my critisism.

 

 

 

And you should proofread your work.

 

 

 

Note: If you're using sub-black, you can highlight the green to make it more readable.

 

 

 

 

 

"Burn the Barbarians!" Yelled sir Amik Varze. Does "babarians" have to be capital? Sir is capital.

 

 

 

"But sir..."

 

 

 

"No buts...they stole my toiletry!"

 

 

 

"So? You can just get some more from the castles basement!" Apostrophe

 

 

 

"We have a basement?"

 

 

 

"Uh...duh..."

 

 

 

"No we don't...For lying...you shall get hanged!" Not capital.

 

 

 

"What but sir..." Is there a comma after "what"?

 

 

 

"You have brought dishoner on your family. I know all my men like the back of my hand and I always thought you were the best...Whats you name again?" Not capital...

 

 

 

"Jamie sir...and I clean the chicken turds off the pavement." Comma after Jamie.

 

 

 

"And that makes the best knight does it not?" "Makes 'you' the best knight. Also, drop the "not". Since it is said in a sacastic tone, the not would imply that hes a good knight.

 

 

 

"What about you?"

 

 

 

"I am not a knight...I am a god!"

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

"If the civilians cannot give you information than cut off there pinky!" Thier

 

"Sir...we can't...the King of Varrock..."

 

 

 

"The King of Varrock will have your head...this is his domain..."

 

 

 

"The King of varrock can lick my..."

 

 

 

"Sir...the King says to leave or he will kill you..."

 

 

 

"With what?"

 

 

 

"With a bunch of Black knights...they will come...burn the white knight castle, and take over Falador..."

 

 

 

"Bring it!"

 

 

 

"HOLY CRAP...THE BLACK KNIGHTS ARE EATING MY PET CAT."

 

 

 

It's unclear who's speaking here. Sir Amik speaks twice in a row, so you might want to add a paragraph in between the two dialogues.

 

 

 

"See sir..."

 

 

 

"Oh, it was just a dumb..."

 

I dont really understand this line.

 

 

 

"HOLY CRAP...MY RARE CALICO COLORED HAMSTER!" Again, a paragraph in between.

 

 

 

"What the hell is a hampster? And why can it notdefend itself from the tyranny of the Bla..."

 

 

 

"HOLY CRAP...THE KNIGHT IS EATING MY HEAD."

 

 

 

"Since when did the black knights become cannibals?"

 

 

 

"Since we started eating their children..."

 

 

 

"When did we do that?"

 

 

 

"When you said that you wanted something other than chicken for dinner."

 

 

 

"Umm..."

 

 

 

"HELP ME...THEY ARE LICKING MY BRAIN..."

 

 

 

"How the hell can he talk when he is missing his brain?" You talk?

 

 

 

"WAIT A MINUTE...HOW THE HELL CAN I TALK WHEN I AM MISSING MY BR..."

 

 

 

"Well, I guess I can put this mystery in my book."

 

 

 

"You write books sir?"

 

 

 

"Yes, I gave all the white knights a copy of my book "Shiny White Armor." It should be: "Yes, I gave all the white knights a copy of my book, 'Shiny White Armor.'"

 

 

 

"There was a shortage of toilet paper that day."

 

 

 

"So what? You know the old white knight saying...

 

WHEN YOU SITTING ON THE JOHN AND THE TOILET PAPERS GONE

 

BE A MAN, USE YOUR HAND."

 

Paper's

 

"Well...we decided to use your book because our hands were soiled enough from picking up chicken turds...and the shortage of gloves...Why did you have to hang the guy who picked up those turds?"

 

 

 

"He lied to me..."

 

 

 

"About what?"

 

 

 

"About having a basement..."

 

 

 

"Sir we do..."

 

 

 

"LIER! I will hang you! But until then, read this preview of the new season of Snake and Noob!"

 

Liar

[Folgrim]

Ratchet, this story isn't even funny, if you can call it a story :-X

 

Here's what I suggest: take a break from the computer, read some books IN REAL LIFE, and get a good feel for proper grammar, SPELLING (big one there), punctuation, AN ACTUAL PLOT, and sentence structure. PLEASE! :shame:

[llamster]

Ratchet, this story isn't even funny, if you can call it a story :-X

 

Here's what I suggest: take a break from the computer, read some books IN REAL LIFE, and get a good feel for proper grammar, SPELLING (big one there), punctuation, AN ACTUAL PLOT, and sentence structure. PLEASE! :shame:

 

 

 

Ratchet's a pretty good writer, if you read some of his other works.

 

 

 

Yeah, I think it's getting kinda old. You should work on some of your other stories.

[PsyClonz6110]

Ugh, I remember when thi story started. It had so much potenial and promise. How it's just echhkk!

 

 

 

Let it die man, let it die... -.-

[Nom]

Ugh, I remember when thi story started. It had so much potenial and promise. How it's just echhkk!

 

 

 

Let it die man, let it die... -.-

 

 

 

It WAS dead until you decided to haul it out of the second page.

[Harakiri]

One quick question...why the hell is my old story on the first page?

 

I thought it was uh, over?

 

Please keep this away from the first page so i am not inclined to write more.

 

I'm gonna PM Archimage to lock it, cuz I don't want it to keep returning.

[archimage_a]

Locked by Request.

 

 

 

~Archimage A