Snake and noob(SEASON 2 BEGINS!!!)

[archimage_a]

Archimage Aquan's(AKA: Archimage A)....(Friendly...doesn't kill, and doesn't swear...Just sort of stands around teleporting people...read the rest of the thing...)

 

Level: 1

 

Wears: Amazing set of blue robes with an aquarial trim, also has the staff of words(A staff made out of pure speak...I.e. Leet-Free), a Unicode Bubble.(See Avatar for help...)

 

Likes: To wave staff about and cause people take insanely difficult tests, that if they fail they will be turned into a poorly written character in a story...somewhere...not Archiamge's stories...they own(Honest!)

 

Dislikes: The fact that there is not a story telling/writing skill, The fact that they are a level 1....because there is no story Telling/Writing skill.

 

Story: The insanely Beautiful and Intelligent(Ahem!) character has strong ties to Nul...the infamous Runescape Hacker. It is said that while being created there was an unfortunate accident involving mainly spoons, that forever meant that even a slight breeze could put thier life at mortal danger...So the Unicode bubble was formed, which gave the wind a super hard test...and also protected him from everything...except Penguins...who seemed to pass the test somehow...

 

 

 

 

 

The Generic Innkeeper(AKA:THE INKEEPER!!!)

 

Level:NPC

 

Wears: An innkeepers uniform(Funnierly enough...)

 

Likes: Money

 

Dislikes: People's problems

 

Story: Someone used their Unsympathetic Elbow, with his Sympathetic Ear... and so now doesn't care if you are in a bar fight or you got dumped...just that you pay for the beer your drinking

 

 

 

Spider Cow (AKA: The Spotted Cow)

 

Level: 900 (but you can only see level 10...like other cows)

 

Wears: Its skin...or an ill fitting spider web

 

Likes: To fight the forces of Justice...and cow killers

 

Dislikes: To have a random adventurer try to milk her...

 

Story: Well its interesting you should say that...a Spider crawled into the data bank that was where this cow was stored...and then in an accident involving mainly spoons...there was a transformation and suddenly Spider Cow was born...

[powerent]

What's with the accidents "involving mainly spoons"? :shock: How much "Monsters Inc." have you been watching?

[Harakiri]

Time for chapter 6 people. This is a big chapter that will help open a storyline that will be really great with an ending featuring full out war! So lets begin! thanks for all bios by the way.

 

 

 

CHAPTER 6:THE NOOB GANG AND EVERYONES PAST

 

 

 

Snake teleported to Varrock and so did Powerent. They ran through the throngs of crowds until they got to the chaos temple. Surrounding the altar were two level 3's and a level and a level 3.5.

 

 

 

"Who the hell are you?" asked a level 3.

 

 

 

"Snake, you?"

 

 

 

"Mutant Autoer."

 

 

 

"Cool name but i have to kill you if you don't release noob."

 

 

 

"I'll kill you first!"

 

 

 

"Bring it!" said Snake.

 

 

 

"No you bring it!" Mutant Autoer said.

 

 

 

Snake muttered "the bad guys get stupider and stupider" and took out his dragon sword. Mutant Autoer suddenly started throwing rune essence at Snake.

 

 

 

"What the hell?" yelled Snake.

 

 

 

"Fear my essence" said Mutant.

 

 

 

Snake ran at Mutant dodging all the essence he threw at him. Snake then stopped in front of Mutant. Mutant took out bronze pickax and struck Snake in the torso. The head of the pickax broke on impact and bounced off Snakes torso and into Mutants head. Mutant was dead.

 

 

 

"My name is Chronic lier and if you don't stop killing my friends I will get my main, zezima to kill you!" said a noob behind Snakes back.

 

 

 

"You don't spell Zezema that way loser!"

 

 

 

"Ya you do! Now die!" Snake dodged his stick and decapitated the noob.

 

 

 

"Who's next?" asked Snake.

 

 

 

Suddenly, the stained glass in the front of the room was shattered by some guy wearing full rune(g). He killed the level 3.5 with his rune scimmy and stabbed through the chaos altar killing some other guy.

 

 

 

"Noob police here to kill all noobs related in this kidnapping." he showed his badge. Powerent looked at it.

 

 

 

"So what..." Suddenly the ground shook as a giant monster came up from beneath the ground of the Varrock fountain. Bodies flied through the air. Suddenly a voice said "it is time, powerent, to face your destiny."

 

 

 

"O.K now what the hell is going on?" asked Snake.

 

 

 

"Hell IS what is going on!" said the voice.

 

 

 

"Who are you?"asked powerent.

 

 

 

"I am the dark lord Zamorak and have come to take the life of Saradomins son."

 

 

 

"Who me?" asked powerent.

 

 

 

"Yes...prepare to die." The monster, that looked like a giant snake (as in the animal not the person) slithered out of the hole it came out of and lunged at powerent. Powerent jumped onto the snakes head, as Snake jumped into its mouth and ripped out one of its fangs.

 

 

 

"My son powerent, take this sword and KICK ZAMORAKS [wagon]!" said a voice.

 

 

 

"Who are you?" asked powerent.

 

 

 

"I am Saradomin, you're father!"

 

 

 

A huge blue sword fell from the sky and powerent caught it by the hilt and plunged it into the snake's head. The snake screamed and lifted its head throwing powerent into the armor shop's window. Snake jumped out of the snake's mouth and landed on the eastern bank. Powerent kicked the armor shops door off it's hinges and jumped onto the eastern bank. Snake stood beside powerent.

 

 

 

"Your the son of a god huh?" Snake asked.

 

 

 

"Ya I guess i am. But why am i not a really high level?"

 

 

 

Snake was not paying attention, he was busy watching a giant blue jay swoop down and rip out one of the snake's eyes. The noob police guy was then whisked away by the bird. Powerent was slicing at the snake's head the next time Snake checked his friend. Blood was spilled all over the town and an evil voice cackled.

 

 

 

"My favorite color! And now it is all over the city marking me as this cities ruler!" The voice laughed.

 

 

 

"Shut the hell up Zamorak!" said Snake calmly.

 

 

 

"How dare you speak to your FATHER that way!"

 

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2 OF THIS STORYLINE

 

 

 

 

 

A pause for dramatic emphasis and i will write the next part soon. I will say this much, Varrock is gonna be in one mess for the next few chapters. And of course chapter 10 is reserved for a huge war-like fight that will rock! MORE BIOS FOR CHAPTER 10! And please tell me if you wanna be good or bad. Cuz' i feel like I am making a lot of characters stupid. Who wants to be an important main character other than Powerent and blue jay? (yes you will be an important factor soon!) and sorry for changing chapter name. I thought i might as well do some sort of continual story.

[archimage_a]

Well you have Archimage A....and the AKA's were supposed to be their names...the other thing was more a brief description...and how come all my characters died in about 3(Geddit?) seconds flat?

 

 

 

Anyway some more randomly created characters...

 

 

 

Fabled Bother(NOT BROTHER) of Archimage A (AKA:Arcturis)

 

Level: 30

 

Wears: An anti-code robe

 

Likes: Bother Archimage A

 

Dislikes: The fact that despite the fact that they are 29 levels higher than Archimage, Archimage can still kick his...with his eyes closed

 

Story:

 

Annoy's Archimage A's family; 10000BYA (Billon Years Ago) to Present

 

 

 

The Cult of the Orange Vegetable from the ground(AKA: order of the Carrot)

 

Level...its a group averaging level 100(Hey they were bored...)

 

Wears: Carrot seeking equiptment...including a bunny...

 

Likes: Carrots

 

Dislikes: Carrots not existing

 

Story:

 

Wasted time looking for Carrots; 1980 to present

 

 

 

The MASTER(AKA: ForsakenMage)

 

2.Respect others. Stories which attack another player are not permitted. The use of famous or well-known players is not allowed.

 

Neither famous or well-known...and I don't think that we are attacking...killing perhaps...

 

Level: 121(assuming Tip.It calulator works)

 

Wears: Something....ask her...she doesn't return my pms...

 

Likes: Order...Stories...Being powerful(and not smiting me)

 

Dislikes:People useing her name in a story were she is almost certainly going to be Attacked/Killed

 

Story:

 

See Wears

 

(Alternatively they just happen to have the same name and it is a happy coincidence that now I don't have to make up what they wear or story.... \ )

 

 

 

 

 

Xarosen - Aura Wars Edition (GOOD)

 

Name: Xarosen, or God of Sound

 

Race: Higher Being

 

Religion: Higher being

 

Language: Anything that requires sound

 

Life style: Protective and in Control

 

Appearance: Human-Slight leaning towards male

 

Origins: Born of Planar energy

 

Hometown: The Great Hall

 

Abilities: God

 

Bio: Born at point 0(The beginning) and created the plane, this was composed of sound. Many eons later was approached to form an alliance, many of the alliance members were killed shortly afterward when a bomb destroyed the leaderÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s plane. Since then Xarosen has fought on its own plane and on the Runescape plane to regain the allianceÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s power.

 

Artifact: None

 

Job type: God/Defender

 

Weakness: Protective

 

Strength: A God and controlling attitude

 

Additional: Archimage's one true triumph...Powered by the amazing Unicode there is no way to beat this amazing power...

[powerent]

Hey! Me vs. Snake, I'll get destroyed. Still, I want a few characters for the good guys, on powerent's side. These are random names, ones I completely made up.

 

 

 

Name:Zhunger (pronounced zhun-ger)

 

Level: 68

 

Wears: Full Adamant with a rune dagger, poisoned with regular weapon poison

 

Story: Met powerent early on, and they were good friends, helping each other out. Now he comes to his friend's aid at his time of need, and he'll stay to the death (or a few thousand)

 

 

 

Name: Plunger

 

Level: 40

 

Wears: Plunger on his head, steel platelegs, black platebody, and the plunger is a weapon, and he also has a mithril shield

 

Story: Tried to scam powerent once, and got killed in the duel arena for it. He's stuck by powerent, hiding in the shadows, until now. Plunger and all, he'll fight for his life, before running away. His lesson was taught, and he gave back all items he scammed, and payed nearly double. He's an honest fellow, but will run away from a fight that seems hopeless.

 

 

 

DON'T KILL THEM!!!!!!!!!! (multiple times, that is)

[Harakiri]

no...its a giant snake...the capital snake is the character and the lower case snake is the giant snake of Zamorack...ya i know its confusing...and sorry about killing your characters and naming them wrong but it really don't matter...i really want people to read the stories of the characters by the person who made them up. Snake called them the noob gang cuz'they were noobs but i guess they are really the A.K.A's.

[Harakiri]

A very short chapter

 

 

 

CHAPTER 7:PART 2

 

 

 

" You may be my father but i will still whoop your [wagon]!" said Snake.

 

 

 

Zamorack'S VOICE laughed. Suddenly the giant snake disappeared and powerent started walking around wondering what happened. Suddenly Zamorack appeared ON THE BANK and blew Snake up.

 

 

 

"Oh crap." was all that escaped powerent's mouth.

 

 

 

Powerent jumped onto the East bank and started slicing at Zamorack. Zamorack got cut and started bleeding lava. "You bastard!" Zamorack said and took out his sword and Zamoracks blade met powerents.

 

 

 

Powerent attacked fiercely and stabbed Zamoracks stomach.

 

 

 

"How the hell am i hitting you and Snake could not hit you?"

 

 

 

"Because of that wretched sword your father gave you is a very powerful blade and a dragon sword does not affect me! I must leave there is no way to defeat one who wields the most powerful of the gods swords."

 

 

 

Zamorack poofed away.

 

 

 

MEANWHILE:

 

 

 

In Lumbridge Snake was cursing his stupidity. After a while he caught noob walking around.

 

 

 

"What happened noob?"asked Snake.

 

 

 

"They stabbed me to death."

 

 

 

"Ohh. Who were they, i called them the nooby gang."

 

 

 

"They were my old gang the AKA's."

 

 

 

"Oh, why did they want you?"

 

 

 

"I disbanded a couple days before i met you because the level 3.5 kept calling me a noob and the noob police were after us."

 

 

 

"What does the gang do?"

 

 

 

"We started off stealing items like boots and silk but soon we started stealing things from the Museum in Varrock. One of our people got caught and interrogated until he told the noob police of our location. By then i ran for it and met you eventually."

 

 

 

"Oh..."

 

 

 

"Well we better get going." said noob.

 

 

 

"To Varock." Said Snake.

 

 

 

 

 

HAY, SORRY FOR A SHORT CHAPTER BUT LETS LEAVE IT OFF FOR A VERY LONG AND EXCITING CHAPTER TOMMORROW:

 

 

 

CHAPTER 8: THE ADVENTURE TO VARROCK (FEATURING ALL THE UNUSED CHARACTERS SO FAR FROM YOU READERS!)

[arrowbld]

name arrowbld

 

level 62

 

likes his lederhosen hat and money scammer/begger hunting

 

dislikes scammers and beggers

 

info he has a group called the noob hunters who go and kill beggers and anoying noobs and scammers

 

wears lederhosen hat full green d hide and willow long bow

[powerent]

Please, spell "Zamorak" correctly. You spell it "Zamorack", but the way I said it earlier in quotations is correct. It's not much, I'm just exploding from noticing it.

[archimage_a]

Gotta love the Noob Police...its just one of those things that everyone thinks should exist...and even more people dream of starting...but knows that it can't work in RS...

 

 

 

Thanks for adding slightly more of the AKA's story...strange name but still.

 

 

 

Another God(AKA:Resident) Good

 

Level: God G3

 

Wears: Full ranger gear and assorted magically created stuff...that is unseen in RS because it doesn't fit the coding

 

Likes: To show of God skills

 

Dislikes: The fact that Runescape doesn't let him use all his amazingly powerful items...and frequently brings it up when something goes wrong...

 

Story:....See Aura Wars...

 

 

 

 

 

The Generic Super-Villan (AKA:The DeathBringer) BAD!!

 

Level: God...again G2(Just so you know G1 is the best G5 is mortal...Xarosen is G2)

 

Wears: Wizard Robes

 

Likes: To inflict pain and suffering

 

Dislikes: Getting beaten

 

Story: Generic sort of tale...beaten by father...ignored at school...never had a girl/boyfriend...somehow knows how to hire legions of Henchmen...

 

 

 

The Generic Generic (AKA: PureMe222)

 

Level: 60(126 Firemaking)

 

Wears: A Dragon axe...and the generic green trousers and stuff that the Generic player wears...) and wields a tinder box

 

Likes: Setting people on fire

 

Dislikes: His axe head falling off

 

Story...Generic sort of tale...beaten by father...ignored at school...never had a girl/boyfriend...somehow knows how to get a dragon axe and shoot fireballs at people with level 1 magic...

[Harakiri]

another chapter later tonight maybe...it may be a half today, half tommorow kind of deal cuz' i am giving up telling a big long story and instead want to do short little stories of noob and Snakes adventures. I have enough bios for now but keep sending em, I'll use em eventually. Also i want you guys to make up the name of fake clans and monsters. I will use these in what i will call the second noob and Snake book. i will start it 2night. I also need some fake quests with their stories and everything. Fake places would be nice too. Fake minigames. Fake randoms. Fake skills. Just throw watever you want at mer and i will use it in Noob and Snake book 2:Journey around the land.

[Dragonbait02]

My bio:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Da mage02, level 85

 

 

 

Att-71

 

 

 

Str-70

 

 

 

Def-68

 

 

 

Mage-64

 

 

 

Hates Runecraft pkers :XD:

[Harakiri]

BOOK 2: SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE

 

 

 

ARTICLE 1:SPOONS AND ARCHIMAGE A

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STORY 1:SPOONS

 

 

 

Snake and Noob walked over a power cord and into a bar. Power cords were strewn everywhere. Snake looked around to see what they were connected to. He saw the biggest T.V ever. It was like 100 feet across and 50 feet high. It was outside and being hooked up by some guy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snake told Noob he would be back and walked out to the T.V. It was currently showing a commercial for Bob's axes. Snake kicked the technician in the side of the stomach and asked him what the hell a giant T.V was doing in Runescape.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"None of your buisness, it is an update that Jagex specifically told me to hook up."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Stand up when you are talking to me!" Snake said violently.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Nope standing sucks i like sitting."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snake grabbed him by the neck and stood him up. The guy instantly fell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What the hell? What's your name?" asked Snake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I am Spoons. I trip over these cords all the time. Are they not thick?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snake picked one up and looked at it. It was thin as thread. Snake pulled the cord until it ripped in half and the T.V turned off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hay, you evil person! I will make sure to ban you!" Spoons said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hee hee. Not if your in hell!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spoons stood and fell over a cord again. Snake grabbed him and threw him into the giant T.V. Sparks flew and people everywhere were on fire. Their flesh singed off and their bones crumbled into dust. A big level 96 guy was burning and his flesh was showing along with many boils. He ran into the bar window and onto a table where noob sat. A spark flew into noobs beer and blew it up in Noobs face. Noob fell over and onto the cords. The cords then blew up the bar went with it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snake watched it blow and could only mutter one word as more people ran everywhere screaming and burning."Damn"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STORY 2: ARCHIMAGE A

 

 

 

Snake and Noob were walking around in Varrock and decided to go into the museum. Inside a guy in a blue robe and with a staff made up of letters was studying a Varrock history book. Noob looked at his cloak and asked, "Where do you get one of those?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"If you have a Unicode Bubble you can wear these."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What do you do for a living?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I ask questions and give people tests."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What do i win if i pass?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The rights to say that you were the only human to pass the test. The only people who have passed looked like midget butlers."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Penguins you idiot!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ohh. I want to take the test! Snake can I?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Whatever." Snake replied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yay, lets start! By the way what is your name?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Archimage A. Let us start the quiz. What is two time two?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Four. Duh."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

" How many syllables are in the phrase "If this question does not kill you this next question will"?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"13."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Very good. Next question, how do you spell Czechoslovakia?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ohh, uhh, C...H..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Wrong,you lose and you will now be forever a loser because of this dunces hat" A dunces hat appeared on his head."That will not come off for a month."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I will kill you!" yelled Noob and he lunged at Archimage A. A terrible sound erupted from a sphere behind Archimage. Noobs head exploded and blood flew all over the display cases. The museums glass started shattering everywhere and flew into tourists heads and eyes. Blood flew everywhere. Some guy ran up to Snake and hugged him saying "I always wanted to do that,but i was wondering if we could make this even more magica..." The guys eyes exploded all over Snake and the guys head exploded making Snake feel the warmth of blood and brains on his clothes. Some blood spilled on a Zamorakian artifact and Snake and Archimage ran out of the museum. A voice erupted."Who dares defile my vases?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly a lightening strike fell from the heavens and the museum blew up into smithereens. The rock that used to be the walls of the museum fell on civilians crushing them. Snake whispered to Archimkage "We better get the hell out of here."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I NEED IDEAS FOR FAKE QUESTS,RANDOMS,MONSTERS,PEOPLE,PLACES AND SKILLS. POST ALL IDEAS HERE AND WE WILL RETURN TOMORROW WITH:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE INNKEEPER, ARCHIMAGES BOTHER, AND SPIDER COW! ALSO LOTS MORE VIOLENCE AND ARCHIMAGE JOINS WITH SNAKE TO FIND THE LOST LIBRARY! ADVENTURES ABOUND NEXT ISSUE OF SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE!

[powerent]

What can I say? People keep blowing up, suddenly respawning at the place where they died, and I'm not yet mentioned. I guess I'm off to the deep north, past registered game area. I've come into a place where people can control the elements and could kill me if they wanted, and if I didn't have Saradomin's sword. This place exists without any blood or gore, just complete people who can die, but don't die. It's called the land of Null and Void (if anybody recognizes that, Null and Void is the tune from the Void Knight's Outpost). No combat levels, and I've come to find an orb of complete power, the Orb Of Guthix. It would balance the world and the fight between Saradomin and Zamorak would be over. Enjoy trying to put your usual style into what I made, muahahahahaha!

[Harakiri]

What can I say? People keep blowing up, suddenly respawning at the place where they died, and I'm not yet mentioned. I guess I'm off to the deep north, past registered game area. I've come into a place where people can control the elements and could kill me if they wanted, and if I didn't have Saradomin's sword. This place exists without any blood or gore, just complete people who can die, but don't die. It's called the land of Null and Void (if anybody recognizes that, Null and Void is the tune from the Void Knight's Outpost). No combat levels, and I've come to find an orb of complete power, the Orb Of Guthix. It would balance the world and the fight between Saradomin and Zamorak would be over. Enjoy trying to put your usual style into what I made, muahahahahaha!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOL...i will right a story solely about your character using your story, and fine no blood and gore. You are boring. How can i right a story without blood and gore? I WILL! It will be called Powerent kills Zamorak and it will be posted tomorrow. But don't get the idea i will right a whole series of stories about you! Just one for now and you can be added to my Snake and Noob series as a straight and nonfunny character. I will do some stories in the series about you and i will also work with Archimage A and the Noob police.

[Lenin64]

Name:yayap99 (bad, but highly intelligent)

 

 

 

wears: d med, rune chain and legs, crabclaw hook (very important), boots of lightness. Wields Barrelchest Anchor and dds.

 

 

 

Likes: killing giant mole, talking about his [bleep]y blue hair and blue beard, pwning noobs

 

 

 

dislikes: noobs who ask about crabclaw hook or anchor, anybody asking why he ddint do dragon slayer (which he did, he just doesnt like plate).

[archimage_a]

The quest for the Holy Handgrenade

 

 

 

Involves: Finding the Holy Handgrenade

 

 

 

Npcs: The White Rabbit

 

 

 

What happens:

 

 

 

Snake and His Noob go to find the HHG after reading about it in the lost library...

 

 

 

On the way they discover the white rabbits weakness and finally slay it...but just then King Arthur appears...and they have to rush him to get the HHG.

 

 

 

After a long and bloodly battle they finally get it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[hide]And when they get back they have great fun *accidently* dropping it and saying "OH. NO. My. INCREDIBLY. RARE. SUPER. EXPENSIVE. ROCK. OF DOOM" When the noob picks it up you get some speech about how they are so great for finding it...then they blow up.[/hide]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Garden Maze

 

 

 

Involves: The Noob Police setting up a trap for all noobs

 

 

 

Npcs: One armed garderner and sidekick one legged dog.

 

 

 

What happens:

 

 

 

Caught in this trap at some point...Snake and his Noob must make it out of this terrible trap they have found themselves in. However they run into their old friend Archimage A. Who shows them a short cut.

 

 

 

[hide]He walks though the bushes using the Unicode bubble to explode them out the way.[/hide]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stef Erwin(Random event for canoes)

 

 

 

What happens: They are sailing down the river lum after Noob tripped snake over onto a random log and they got stuck floating away. When suddenly they are kidnapped by Stef Erwin the Crocodile expert from up-over. He has a problem. There are alot of very dangerous crocs lurking in the river and he needs you to throw logs at them to make them angry...so he can be a hero and go wresle it

 

 

 

[hide]However Noob doesn't quite get this and so actually tries to kill a croc and soon they are surrounded...Fortunately because its a new event there is a bug and Snake and Noob tele to safety...and watch Stef Erwin get pulled under.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Additional he survives and some time later reaks his revenge on Noob[/hide]

[Harakiri]

The quest for the Holy Handgrenade

 

 

 

Involves: Finding the Holy Handgrenade

 

 

 

Npcs: The White Rabbit

 

 

 

What happens:

 

 

 

Snake and His Noob go to find the HHG after reading about it in the lost library...

 

 

 

On the way they discover the white rabbits weakness and finally slay it...but just then King Arthur appears...and they have to rush him to get the HHG.

 

 

 

After a long and bloodly battle they finally get it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[hide]And when they get back they have great fun *accidently* dropping it and saying "OH. NO. My. INCREDIBLY. RARE. SUPER. EXPENSIVE. ROCK. OF DOOM" When the noob picks it up you get some speech about how they are so great for finding it...then they blow up.[/hide]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Garden Maze

 

 

 

Involves: The Noob Police setting up a trap for all noobs

 

 

 

Npcs: One armed garderner and sidekick one legged dog.

 

 

 

What happens:

 

 

 

Caught in this trap at some point...Snake and his Noob must make it out of this terrible trap they have found themselves in. However they run into their old friend Archimage A. Who shows them a short cut.

 

 

 

[hide]He walks though the bushes using the Unicode bubble to explode them out the way.[/hide]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stef Erwin(Random event for canoes)

 

 

 

What happens: They are sailing down the river lum after Noob tripped snake over onto a random log and they got stuck floating away. When suddenly they are kidnapped by Stef Erwin the Crocodile expert from up-over. He has a problem. There are alot of very dangerous crocs lurking in the river and he needs you to throw logs at them to make them angry...so he can be a hero and go wresle it

 

 

 

[hide]However Noob doesn't quite get this and so actually tries to kill a croc and soon they are surrounded...Fortunately because its a new event there is a bug and Snake and Noob tele to safety...and watch Stef Erwin get pulled under.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Additional he survives and some time later reaks his revenge on Noob[/hide]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the quest for the holy hand grenade! For that we need coconuts. LOL, nice reference. Monty Python and the Holy Grail has to be one of my favorite movies.

[Harakiri]

SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE

 

 

 

SPECIAL ISSUE #1: POWERENTS NONVIOLENT STORY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Powerent was walking to Tavelry where he would get the orb of Guthix and restore balance between the gods. He decided that this was a good time to piss off the author and not do anything violent along the way. Once in Tavelry, he went to the stone circle and took out a Spade and dug the earth up to find the sphere. He said the magic words and balance was restored.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HEY KIDS, WE ALL KNOW THAT STORY SUCKED SO ITS TIME FOR AN ALTERNATE ENDING!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Powerent took out his spade and smashed it into one of the druids. The druids nose was broken and tried to do magic to heal it but was too late and got decapitated by the spade. "Sarodomin Is The Lord!" yelled powerent killing all the druids. Blood washed over the pillars of the stone circle. Powerent said "Screw restoring balance" and threw his spade so that it hit the witch in the face and killed her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HEY KIDS WASN'T THAT FUN? WELL TOO BAD! POWERENT WILL NOW HAVE HIS OWN COLUMN EVERY ISSUE AND ITS NONVIOLENT! NO ALTERNATE ENDINGS NOTHING! A DAILY DOSE OF POWERENTS BORING LIFE! NEXT ISSUE COMING SOON!.

[archimage_a]

HEY KIDS, WE ALL KNOW THAT STORY SUCKED SO ITS TIME FOR AN ALTERNATE ENDING!

 

 

 

Brilliant! =D>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well I suppose the first story wasn't that bad...The second sentance sort of made up for the rest of it...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway its sort of annoying that I can see the hidden parts in the topic review...sort of a big design flaw...

 

 

 

Awaiting the next truely enthralling installment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Additonal:

 

 

 

The Old Man From Scene 24(Random event)

 

 

 

Gives cryptic clues about the rest of the story.

 

 

 

[hide]Until the author decides that he is saying too much and is stomped by a giant foot...while similtanously having a heart attack[/hide]

[Harakiri]

SNAKE AND NOOBS ADVENTURES THROUGH RUNESCAPE

 

 

 

ISSUE 2:THE INNKEEPER, SPIDER COW, AND ARCHIMAGE A'S BOTHER

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STORY 3:THE INNKEEPER

 

 

 

Snake and Noob walked into a bar. It was a normal bar with five tables in the middle, two booths in the southern corners, a bar with stools, and an innkeeper.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snake and Noob sat at the bar and Snake set down some gold.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Two of your finest ales."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The innkeeper took two glasses and filled them with the ale setting one in front of Snake and the other in front of Noob.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Like hell i'm giving you that." Snake took the glass of ale away from Noob and told the innkeeper to get his friend a juice box. Noob complained but Snake said that he was to low level and would get drunk to easily. The innkeeper set down juice box and looked at Snake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Two hundred coins please."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob butted in "Snakes rich but not rich enough to afford that!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well then get the hell out of my bar!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

People behind Noob and Snakes back stood up and stared.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No." Said Noob.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Here I'll pay." Snake went for his money pouch attached to his belt but was suddenly stopped by an adamant long sword cutting away the pouch. Two guys in addy armor were looking at Snake and Noob.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You guys think your tough aye?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snake took his beer glass and said "I will kill you with this."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"As long as you pay for it!" The innkeeper butted in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Fine, I'll pay for it." Snake went for his money pouch that was lying on the floor. A sword was plunged down at him. Snake dodged and came up, striking the guy in the neck with the beer glass. A huge chunk of glass broke on impact and lay implanted in the guys neck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snake chipped a piece of glass from the beer glass and dodged the other guys Addy scimitar. Snake jumped onto the guys head and stuck the piece of glass into his eye. Suddenly, the guys explode prayer came on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh crap." Snake,Noob,innkeeper, and the building blew up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In lumbridge the innkeeper said to Snake "Cough up two million!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STORY 4:SPIDER COW

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snake and Noob were killing cows for hides in some random pasture. One of the cows looked funny. It was near a haystack with a lamp next to it. This haystack was up against the wall. The cow had a pattern like spider webs on its body. Noob walked up to it and punched its nose. The cow kicked the lamp onto the haystack and the fire spread onto the wall. Snake saw noobs hand get eaten off by the cow and then he was kicked over the city walls and into the city. The fire was spreading quickly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snake attacked the cow and only scratched it with his powerful special attack.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh Crap!" Snake was then catapulted over the wall and into the fire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOW LETS ASK SOME QUESTIONS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHICH FIRE WAS STARTED BY A COW SUPPOSEDLY?

 

 

 

a.THE GREAT FIRE OF CHICAGO

 

 

 

b.THE GREAT FIRE OF WHO CARES

 

 

 

c.I DON'T KNOW

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LETS TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR ANSWER. GUESS WHAT? THEY ARE ALL RIGHT ANSWERS. ANSWERING a. MEANS THAT YOUR A SMARTASS! NEXT QUESTION:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHERE THE HELL DID THE NAME SPIDER COW COME FROM?

 

 

 

a.SOME DUDE WHO WAS WATCHING A SIMPSONS MOVIE COMMERCIAL AND THOUGHT SPIDER COW SOUNDED BETTER THAN SPIDER PIG

 

 

 

b.SOME DUDE WHO HAS BEEN WATCHING TO MUCH MONSTERS INC.

 

 

 

c.SOME GUY WHO GETS PLEASURE FROM THE STUPIDEST THINGS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IF YOU PICKED ANY OF THEM I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR RIGHT! ASK THE CREATOR OF SPIDER COW. HOPEFULLY NO ONE WHO WORKS WITH THE SIMPSONS WILL SUE HIM FOR THAT IDEA! NEXT STORY PLEASE:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STORY 5:ARCHIMAGE A'S BOTHER

 

 

 

Snake and Noob walked with Archimage. He was trying to find the lost library.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Archimage was being followed by some level 30's.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Who are they?" asked Snake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"My bother." replied Archimage. They kept asking him questions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Archimage got mad. "Me and my friends are going to find the fabled lost library and you are not coming." Archimage closed his eyes and called on his Unicode bubble. Suddenly all of the Archimages bother members eyes popped and their mouths opened. They're intestines slithered out of their mouths and around they're throats strangling them to death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Brutal." said Snake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hay this is the first time we have not died in the end of a story!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lucky for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

POWERENTS NONVIOLENT STORY 1:

 

 

 

Powerent walked along the road staring at the many beautiful flowers and staring at the wizards tower.

 

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEXT ISSUE: THE CULT OF THE ORANGE VEGETABLE FROM THE GROUND, THE MASTER, AND XAROSEN! MORE FUN QUESTIONS AND LOTS MORE FUN WITH POWERENT!

[archimage_a]

Powerent said no blood or gore...nothing about physical and mental pain...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loved the Innkeeper though, got to be the best guy thus far.....

 

 

 

And you were wrong on both accounts...it was D:None of the above~!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Very segmented sort of story telling...almost like a comic...Gives me an idea...Well maybe after you have done a few more...

 

 

 

(P.S. Serouisly I would do it but it would be nice, if you wanted me to, if you could send me a scetch or something of Snake and Noob...and powerent if your listening...)

[Harakiri]

just draw them the way you think they look. I would love to see a comic version. I was thinking that it was like a comic too. Issue three tonight and the questions were all right. By the way, how many the hell bios can you think up? Man you must have a large list of bios cuz' you keep sending them in! And about the powerent thing, i wrote one sentence with no blood or gore called powerents adventures. I think the blood and gore adds some good and funny elements.

[powerent]

I found a hilarious mistake, you said their eyes pooped, not their eyes popped. Also, I need to cause some pain at least, as long as there's not too much blood and/or gore. Otherwise, I be fine.

[Harakiri]

I found a hilarious mistake, you said their eyes pooped, not their eyes popped. Also, I need to cause some pain at least, as long as there's not too much blood and/or gore. Otherwise, I be fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOL...i'll edit that and YAY...maybe I'll make a little violence but instead of blood and guts...instead of blood and guts...Damn,what will i do?