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Oh I'm a bachelor and I'm ok...


Necromagus

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Since there should be plenty of people on this forum living the life of what western society calls 'the bachelor' (including me), I thought it'd be a good idea to set up this topic as an open exchange of ideas, as well as a general discussion of the glorious creature that is the bachelor - a young male, living on his own or in a small group of fellow bachelors, that will not only survive, but thrive in circumstances that would quickly put an end to lesser human beings.

 

 

 

The bachelor will happily eat anything, and after just a few months of training will be able to put together a four course gourmet meal in under an hour with just the contents of the bottom shelves and the back corner of the vegetable crisper. The bachelor possesses an incredible amount of ingenuity, as displayed by the creative use of tools - the general purpose wiping towel kept conveniently under the desk chair, opening two beer bottles by hooking them against each other or the ability to open walnuts with a butcher knife.

 

 

 

So how adapt are you at the bachelor lifestyle? Any tips or tricks? Recipes? Survival methods? Anecdotes?

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Well, being a bachelor is also about living on your own, and learning to take care of yourself while securing your place in the world.

 

 

 

Here's a quick recipe:

 

1) Come home at 4am hungry

 

2) Set the oven to 200 degrees Celsius and pop in a frozen pizza

 

3) Collapse on the couch

 

4) Wake up 4-5 hours later

 

5) Remove the pizza-puck from the oven and challenge a housemate to a game of hangover hockey

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Well, being a bachelor is also about living on your own, and learning to take care of yourself while securing your place in the world.

 

 

 

Here's a quick recipe:

 

1) Come home at 4am hungry

 

2) Set the oven to 200 degrees Celsius and pop in a frozen pizza

 

3) Collapse on the couch

 

4) Wake up 4-5 hours later

 

5) Remove the pizza-puck from the oven and challenge a housemate to a game of hangover hockey

 

 

 

Actually, if you do that, you're probably a redneck.

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I will attest to Necro's cooking skills. Yum!!

 

 

 

I'm not sure if a woman can be considered a bachelor, but let's pretend she can. (A bachelorette?)

 

 

 

My tips:

 

 

 

- don't stay alone cooped up in your apartment for too long. Even if you feel like you want to just sit curled up in a blanket all day without showering, in reality, if you go outside, you will feel (and smell) much better.

 

 

 

- when you cook, whatever you cook will taste ten times better if you throw in some herbs and spices.

 

 

 

- have some kind of fast microwavable or edible-straight-out-of-the-box meal around at all times - just in case it's 2 am and you realize you've forgotten to eat dinner.

 

 

 

- whenever you have reached the point at which there is NO POSSIBLE WAY you can go any longer without doing your laundry, you can still go another week.

Everybody hug and spread the love :D

 

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- Invest in a set of resealable plastic containers, tupperware or similar. I like to cook in bulk (stews or rice-based dishes are perfect for this) and stock my fridge with the leftovers. Sometimes I eat the same evening meals for a week.

 

 

 

- Socks and underwear can be worn turned inside out in case of emergency. This rule applies up to the point where crusts begin to form.

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By being a bachelor, I save money the following:

 

 

 

1. My electric bill: I have 1 light bulb. I carry it to wherever I need to. Usually the computer or TV light is enough.

 

 

 

2. My water bill: I shower when I need it (i.e. a night where it is possible I might not be a bachelor in the future :wink: )

 

 

 

3. My food bill: Mum's cooking is free. However, I do have to pay for the 4 suitcases I carry her food in. Oh and a fridge that can carry enough food for a semester.

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- Invest in a set of resealable plastic containers, tupperware or similar. I like to cook in bulk (stews or rice-based dishes are perfect for this) and stock my fridge with the leftovers. Sometimes I eat the same evening meals for a week.

 

You see, that's such a good idea that even my sister and her husband do that. But I'd quickly get bored with that.. I need variety!

 

 

 

- Socks and underwear can be worn turned inside out in case of emergency. This rule applies up to the point where crusts begin to form.

 

What can I say... I've always lived with my parents, so I guess I'll be amazed when I see how much one can change out of laziness or necessity when I live alone.

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You can get 4 cans of lager from Sainsbury's for 88p, so there's never any excuse not to drink.

 

 

 

Also, don't let the first thing you say to your female flatmate be a joke about her being a lesbian.

La lune ne garde aucune rancune.

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I'm keeping my inner feminist in reins for a moment, so I'll share some tips, acquired through years of spinsterhood.

 

 

 

The freezer is your friend. When you cook, make enough for 3 meals. One portion for tonight, the rest goes into the freezer to be discovered again on a hungry, penniless evening under time pressure.

 

 

 

Give parties and only provide the foods, let the invitees bring along drinks. You'll never be able to drink it all and -tadaaaaa- you've now got yourself a booze stock and a cleaning job for a day after the party. Okay, the latter doesn't seem appealing, but honestly, when else were you going to clean the place?

 

 

 

A tip for every bachelorette: live together with a girlfriend. Not only does it have a certain appeal to single men (wink wink, nudge nudge), they're also lifesavers if you want to get rid of less desirable single men and haven't got the heart to do the evil deed yourself. "Noooo, Helena's not at home right now, no clue where she's off to, bu-bye."

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A tip for every bachelorette: live together with a girlfriend. Not only does it have a certain appeal to single men (wink wink, nudge nudge), they're also lifesavers if you want to get rid of less desirable single men and haven't got the heart to do the evil deed yourself. "Noooo, Helena's not at home right now, no clue where she's off to, bu-bye."

 

 

 

That's evil. How could you be so cruel?

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A tip for every bachelorette: live together with a girlfriend. Not only does it have a certain appeal to single men (wink wink, nudge nudge), they're also lifesavers if you want to get rid of less desirable single men and haven't got the heart to do the evil deed yourself. "Noooo, Helena's not at home right now, no clue where she's off to, bu-bye."

 

 

 

That's evil. How could you be so cruel?

 

 

 

No, killing little kittens with a needle is cruel. I consider myself a rather kind person, but believe me, for a girl, there's nothing so annoying as a man who has worked himself into a crush without any participation from her side. The first few times, you're kind about it and try to be sweet and remain friends and blablabla. Then you discover it gets you into nothing but misery and you look for alternative ways of dealing with them. This is just one of the many tactics a single girl has in her command to deal with little annoyances like that.

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...A tip for every bachelorette: live together with a girlfriend. Not only does it have a certain appeal to single men (wink wink, nudge nudge), ...

 

Too bad it doesn't work the other way around. <.<

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If all goes as planned for me, I won;t need this for another 7 (maybe even 8) years, but if it doesn;t I'll need it in 3. So keep the thread alive, even if it means 142 pages of "bump" \'

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BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

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All garments can be worn four times without washing; Forwards, Backwards, Inside-Out Forwards, and Inside-Out Backwards.

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1. You only need 1 pair of jeans for a week, just dont spill stuff on them.

 

2. Ramen Noodles can be spiced up, try adding salt to the water before micing

 

3. Never tip the delivery guy if the food takes over 40mins

 

4. If you want free pizza order it with something on it, and when you get it say you cant eat it cause of the toppings (Most Pizza Places will let you keep that pizza and bring you a correct one but dont make it a habit)

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