"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[nerdattack16]

Thanks guys.

 

I'm just not used to getting to this point in a meaningful relationship. Last time, it took like seven months. Just kind of a shocker for me this time.

 

But I'm sure I can manage to get used to it. :thumbup:

[RpgGamer]

7 months?

wow.

That's a pretty long time to hold out if you ask me. Unless you were her first or something, in which case that's reasonable. I dated the chick I lost my virginity to for 4 months [exactly] before going all the way. But by then I had known her for about 9 months, so yeah. Course, we were fooling around by a month and a half into the relationship. Timetables are irrelevant. Every relationship varies heavily.

[nerdattack16]

7 months?

wow.

That's a pretty long time to hold out if you ask me. Unless you were her first or something, in which case that's reasonable. I dated the chick I lost my virginity to for 4 months [exactly] before going all the way. But by then I had known her for about 9 months, so yeah. Course, we were fooling around by a month and a half into the relationship. Timetables are irrelevant. Every relationship varies heavily.

We were each other's firsts for that sort of thing, actually. Thank God I have experience now.

[RpgGamer]

Ha! ain't taht the truth.

 

"experience isn't something you get until the moment after you need it"

 

now take that quote....AND SLAP THE [cabbage] OUTTA THAT MOFO

[Tim]

7 months?

wow.

That's a pretty long time to hold out if you ask me. Unless you were her first or something, in which case that's reasonable. I dated the chick I lost my virginity to for 4 months [exactly] before going all the way. But by then I had known her for about 9 months, so yeah. Course, we were fooling around by a month and a half into the relationship. Timetables are irrelevant. Every relationship varies heavily.

Same for me, only we knew each other for 9 years. Wimminz, I'll never understand them. (and nor will Brad P)

[muggiwhplar]

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/nasa_scientists_plan_to_approach

[BlindBaker]

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/nasa_scientists_plan_to_approach

Talk about over thinking it.

[RpgGamer]

http://www.theonion....lan_to_approach

 

 

I masterbated to it furiously, and then hated myself for it.

 

 

omg though, seriously, that had me crackin' up laughing. Gotta love the Onion.

[helpmeownlife]

I know there's 'The Game', but what other self-help/body language/psychology books would you guys recommend?

[Lenticular_J]

You can find far, far more stuff online. There are forums, archives, all sorts of stuff. You can really just search "PUA Forum".

 

I'm actually looking for some good general psychology books right now simply because I find it interesting, but the one big book store here in town is about 30% Christian books, 50% crappy fiction, and 5% anything of value.

 

The other 15% is hot girls.

[TTanT]

7 months?

wow.

That's a pretty long time to hold out if you ask me. Unless you were her first or something, in which case that's reasonable. I dated the chick I lost my virginity to for 4 months [exactly] before going all the way. But by then I had known her for about 9 months, so yeah. Course, we were fooling around by a month and a half into the relationship. Timetables are irrelevant. Every relationship varies heavily.

 

 

I'm not sure if I'm understanding this correctly or not, but do you mean having a relationship for 7 months without sex is waiting too long?

 

Because I'd disagree with that. I won't saying you're in the wrong, but neither is a person who waits for marriage, either.

[Lenticular_J]

If you aren't planning to wait until marriage, though, 7 months is far too long. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship.

[Faux]

7 months is far too long.

 

no it isn't, there are people who wait for marriage. i know shocking.

 

Sex is a part of a healthy relationship.

 

sex could be part of a healthy relationship, but it isn't a requirement

[deathdrow]

7 months is far too long.

 

no it isn't, there are people who wait for marriage. i know shocking.

 

Sex is a part of a healthy relationship.

 

sex could be part of a healthy relationship, but it isn't a requirement

In many senses it is, there's too much physical tension between two people without the sex really. You can't let it control your relationship. But sex is just a way of like, connecting on a deep physical level. With an emphasis on the deep.

[TTanT]

If you aren't planning to wait until marriage, though, 7 months is far too long. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship.

 

 

7 months is far too long.

 

no it isn't, there are people who wait for marriage. i know shocking.

 

Sex is a part of a healthy relationship.

 

sex could be part of a healthy relationship, but it isn't a requirement

 

Quoting out of context is fun, no?

 

Sheesh.

 

But I guess I could see your point there, Lent. I just wanted to make sure everyone got accounted for.

[Faux]

so what about my second point?

 

saying 7 months is too long isn't true. sex should happen because both parties are ready. not because there's an accepted time limit

[Lenticular_J]

If both parties aren't prepared for something as simple as sex after seven months of being together, there may be other issues at hand.

[RpgGamer]

sex is just a way of like, connecting on a deep physical level. With an emphasis on the deep.

 

:thumbup:

 

New favorite quote. But anyway, this sex discussion is uncalled for in general, and started by quoting me out of context. I said 7 months was far too long to start fooling around, unless it's the girl's first sexual partner. 'Fooling around' doesn't nesesarily mean sex. Infact, I use the phrase to describe every sexual act other than sex itself. Fooling around should start within 2 months or so of a "normal" relationship in my book. but that's just me. Again, there's different rules for the inexperienced/virgins. Sexual tension needs to be relieved somehow, afterall.

[Flyingjj]

Sexual tension? What's that? :razz:

 

But seriously, it's entirely possible to have a healthy and completely amazing relationship without this "sexual tension" of which you speak.

[RpgGamer]

Yeah, it's called friendship.

[BlindBaker]

Sexual tension? What's that? :razz:

 

But seriously, it's entirely possible to have a healthy and completely amazing relationship without this "sexual tension" of which you speak.

Possible. But really awkward. Not being able to "mess around" as Rpg just limits the relationship in so many ways.

 

This thread doesn't seem like much of an advice thread anymore. Seems to me like it's turning into more of a sex debate thread. :mellow:

[Flyingjj]

Trust me, there's a difference. Not all relationships are all about gettin' jiggy with it, now or eventually. Okay, so maybe eventually.

 

I have countless female friends. I've dated one of them, and there was no way anyone would have called that relationship a friendship, despite it's lack of "sexual tension."

 

Maybe sexual tension is just a bad word for it. Tension exists in a relationship, but that doesn't automatically make it sexual tension. Sex just happens to be one of the more common ways of relieving the tension. I think a better term might be "attraction tension," or something like that.

[Faux]

If both parties aren't prepared for something as simple as sex after seven months of being together, there may be other issues at hand.

 

so you think people who feel they aren't ready have issues? that's a really stupid generalization. certain people grow differently, just because they don't fit in *your* idea doesn't mean they have issues.

[Lenticular_J]

May. Certain people might just be different. But certain people also hunt down the squirrels in Central Park with bows and arrows.

 

We don't talk about them, though.

[Iamdan]

But seriously, it's entirely possible to have a healthy and completely amazing relationship without this "sexual tension" of which you speak.

 

Yeah, it's called friendship.

 

^

 

Anyone can can sit on their high horse and spout "you don't need sex" all they want, but without sexual tension and sex it's just a friendship according to the rest of the world's definition - no matter what you want to call it.

 

There's nothing wrong with being friends, but that's all it is.