"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[muggiwhplar]

Go date other girls and forget about this one. Even if you got into a relationship with this girl, your feelings would sabotage the relationship very quickly.

 

You already dug your own grave here:

 

I've told her on several occasions how much I like her, how much she means to me, and how I want a relationship.

[Bonez899]

To be honest a relationship, or boyfriend/girlfriend status, is kind of a formality. It is expected in society today but in no way needed so long as you have what you want from the relationship. As it stands now you seem to be not getting what you want from the relationship so I'd probably try and tell her that in a way similar to how you just posted on here. Mainly just highlight on the main things you've said here and be honest. If she still doesn't want a relationship (or boyfriend/girlfriend) status than decide from there.

Along with that you could also follow the ever helpful Muggi's advice.

[Tim]

^

 

You've got a classy case of One-itis. If you keep being so obsessed over her, in time when she moves on, it'll hurt you more and more and sabotage all relationships you have. For a girl, that first special relationship is a huge step for them, when they lose it, it does take a while before they want to re-date again. In some cases, a lot of female friends I have after their first serious relationship, they'd go out and have one night stands to explore that missing link they had and to find themselves. Of course, for men we'd get labeled as sleezes and women would be called [bleep].

 

basically, your best bet is to accept and move on.

Edited November 20, 2012 by Randox
Please don't partial censor. Let the filter do it's job.

[decebal]

As it stands now you seem to be not getting what you want from the relationship so I'd probably try and tell her that in a way similar to how you just posted on here. Mainly just highlight on the main things you've said here and be honest. If she still doesn't want a relationship (or boyfriend/girlfriend) status than decide from there.

She already stated she doesn't want a relationship. I have to agree with Muggi, you've dug your own grave.

 

[luckystrike]

I've tried letting go before and it hasn't worked. I always find myself back to where I started. Before seeing her last weekend, I hadn't seen her in a month, but texted her a lot. I was really happy to see her and she told me at least five times how much she missed me. She just sees this as something else I guess. Prior to seeing her this weekend, I'd rate my depression/thinking about her scale at a 7. But now, a few days after seeing her its a 9.5 (hence my return to a forum for a game I played almost six years ago).

 

Letting go really isn't easy. I've deleted her off my phone several times, but then ended up memorizing her phone number (even when she recently got a new phone and number). I've stopped using twitter to avoid reading her updates but now I find that I type in the URL to her twitter account almost by muscle memory whenever I open my browser. I'm not just physically attracted to her anymore, that's the thing. Somedays I'm fine and don't need her and other days the urge peaks and I just have to message/talk to her.

 

I'm going to try again to forget about her though. If she genuinely means it when she says she doesn't want to let me go, I guess we'll find out now?

[Vezon Dash]

Go see a doctor or something. You have a problem if you are feeling depressed because you can't see her.

 

That is if it is honestly depression.

[muggiwhplar]

I've tried letting go before and it hasn't worked. I always find myself back to where I started. Before seeing her last weekend, I hadn't seen her in a month, but texted her a lot. I was really happy to see her and she told me at least five times how much she missed me. She just sees this as something else I guess. Prior to seeing her this weekend, I'd rate my depression/thinking about her scale at a 7. But now, a few days after seeing her its a 9.5 (hence my return to a forum for a game I played almost six years ago).

 

Letting go really isn't easy. I've deleted her off my phone several times, but then ended up memorizing her phone number (even when she recently got a new phone and number). I've stopped using twitter to avoid reading her updates but now I find that I type in the URL to her twitter account almost by muscle memory whenever I open my browser. I'm not just physically attracted to her anymore, that's the thing. Somedays I'm fine and don't need her and other days the urge peaks and I just have to message/talk to her.

 

I'm going to try again to forget about her though. If she genuinely means it when she says she doesn't want to let me go, I guess we'll find out now?

 

I know how you feel, I've been there before. As I'm sure you've realized by now, your feelings don't respond well when you try to manually change/remove them. So you've just gotta accept the fact that you're going to feel bad for a while. Nothing wrong with that. That's life.

 

The best solution is also the hardest. You're going to have to cut off all contact with her. Permanently.

 

The longer you go without any sort of contact with her, the less affected by her you will become. The moment you succumb to your feelings and shoot her a text or anything along the lines of that, you will soon notice that your feelings will flare up again and you'll be back to square one-- regardless of how "carefree" towards her you had become. At this point, your mind has associated her presence with pleasure and hope. It takes a long time for those connections to die.

 

If I were you, I would read this right now. After reading that, I would listen to this, and then get to work! Most people fall into your situation because they don't have much going on in their lives and so it's easy to get fixated on that "one girl." So you need to create something to take your mind off of her and give your life new purpose.

[Tim]

I wouldnt call it depression, yeah he's hooked up on the one girl, but that isn't anything close to clinical depression. (Although like me, it is the first step towards it)

[Omar]

I've tried letting go before and it hasn't worked. I always find myself back to where I started. Before seeing her last weekend, I hadn't seen her in a month, but texted her a lot. I was really happy to see her and she told me at least five times how much she missed me. She just sees this as something else I guess. Prior to seeing her this weekend, I'd rate my depression/thinking about her scale at a 7. But now, a few days after seeing her its a 9.5 (hence my return to a forum for a game I played almost six years ago).

 

Letting go really isn't easy. I've deleted her off my phone several times, but then ended up memorizing her phone number (even when she recently got a new phone and number). I've stopped using twitter to avoid reading her updates but now I find that I type in the URL to her twitter account almost by muscle memory whenever I open my browser. I'm not just physically attracted to her anymore, that's the thing. Somedays I'm fine and don't need her and other days the urge peaks and I just have to message/talk to her.

 

I'm going to try again to forget about her though. If she genuinely means it when she says she doesn't want to let me go, I guess we'll find out now?

 

I know how you feel, I've been there before. As I'm sure you've realized by now, your feelings don't respond well when you try to manually change/remove them. So you've just gotta accept the fact that you're going to feel bad for a while. Nothing wrong with that. That's life.

 

The best solution is also the hardest. You're going to have to cut off all contact with her. Permanently.

 

The longer you go without any sort of contact with her, the less affected by her you will become. The moment you succumb to your feelings and shoot her a text or anything along the lines of that, you will soon notice that your feelings will flare up again and you'll be back to square one-- regardless of how "carefree" towards her you had become. At this point, your mind has associated her presence with pleasure and hope. It takes a long time for those connections to die.

 

If I were you, I would read this right now. After reading that, I would listen to this, and then get to work! Most people fall into your situation because they don't have much going on in their lives and so it's easy to get fixated on that "one girl." So you need to create something to take your mind off of her and give your life new purpose.

Is an outline of the audio book available somewhere? I listened to the whole thing but I think it would be much more practical to have it printed out on one sheet of paper rather than have them in an hour-long video.

[muggiwhplar]

I'll just copy and paste the notes I took on it when I first listened to it. If you want more details on my notes you'll just have to look around for that part of the video...

 

I didn't take any notes on the "health habits" part because it wasn't anything I didn't already know/it was irrelevant to me.

 

-------------

 

"it only takes about 21 days to develop a new habit"

 

"successful people make a habit of doing what unsuccessful people won't do; successful people don't want to do things but do them anyways"

 

there's lots of hard things that contain stress/potential failure/etc. but you do them because you wanna do the other things. by doing what you don't want to do, you create opportunities for what you do want to do

 

--------------

 

FIRST DISCIPLINE: CLEAR THINKING

 

decision solitude for 30-60 minutes when you have a major problem/issue in your life.

 

write down every detail of a problem/situation-- how'd it happen, what's going on/problems/concerns/costs

 

as you write, sometimes exactly the right choice pops out

 

Aristotle: Wisdom = Experience + Reflection...

...go for a walk. no ipod. 30-60 minutes. just walk.

 

ask a trusted friend to discuss it w/ you and give feedback/different perspective.

 

what assumptions are you making about the situation that might not be correct?

 

business assumption: not much of a market for your product.

 

BE OPEN TO DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT

 

-----------

 

SECOND DISCIPLINE: DAILY GOAL-SETTING

 

Write goals with "I..."

Write goals in present tense + action verb

ex. "I can bench press double my bodyweight"; "I earn $10,000/mo"

 

Every morning, you write down and rewrite your goals.

 

-----------

 

THIRD DISCIPLINE: DAILY TIME MGMT

 

Every minute spent in planning saves 10 minutes in execution

 

If you don't plan, you're just reacting and wasting time.

 

The night before, make a list of EVERYTHING you have to do the following day. This way you can process it while you sleep subconsciously.

 

Before you do ANYTHING, the next day, WRITE IT DOWN. then PRIORITIZE it

 

Writing things down before you begin gives you CONTROL.

 

20% of the items on your list will account for 80% of the value

 

"A" TASK: ESSENTIAL; serious consequences if you don't do it

"B" TASK: Something you SHOULD do, but mild consequences if you don't do it

"C" TASK: Something that's NICE to do, with no consequences if you don't do it

 

Never do a B task when you have an A task undone. Never do a C task when you have a B task undone.

 

Do A1, then A2, then A3, then B1, B2, etc.

 

START A1 TASK FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, AND CONCENTRATE ON IT 100% UNTIL COMPLETE

 

------------

 

FOURTH DISCIPLINE: COURAGE

 

Force yourself to do what you know what you SHOULD do, especially in the area of courage.

 

Aristotle wrote, "If you desire to have a quality that you don't already have, act in every instance where the quality is called for as if you already have it; and you will have it."

 

Emerson, "do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain"

 

If you're afraid of doing something, say aloud to yourself very strongly, "I can do it. I can do it." And then just do it!

 

Exercise: identify 1 fear situation and use that as a challenge for developing your courage

 

------------

 

FIFTH DISCIPLINE: HEALTH HABITS

 

------------

 

SIXTH DISCIPLINE: REGULAR SAVING AND INVESTING

 

Avoid all debt

 

as you earn more money, save/invest more

 

Develop the habit of saving 1% of your income

If you make $2k/mo, save $20/mo

 

Go down to the bank and make a financial freedom account. Put in $20 from the first paycheck you make that month, and discipline yourself to live off of the remaining 99% ($1980).

 

Once you're comfortable with 1%, you increase it to 2%. Then 3%, etc until you've developed the habit of comfortably living on only 85-90%

 

Change thinking from, "I enjoy spending" to "I enjoy saving"

 

Investigate before you invest. 2/3 of all success in investing/business is avoiding making mistakes.

 

#1 Rule: DON'T LOSE MONEY.

 

Have "opportunity money" stored away

 

----------

 

SEVENTH DISCIPLINE: HARD WORK

 

Most self-made millionaires work 60-70 hours per week, for 5-15 years before they break through

 

WORK ALL THE TIME YOU WORK. WHEN YOU GO TO WORK, WORK!

 

Start things one hour earlier, and get to work. If you start work at 8:30, get there at 7:30 and get to work

 

Work through lunch; eat at your desk; eat quickly; eat on the go

 

Work one hour later; be the last one to leave and turn the lights off

 

If you work 3 extra hours: start earlier, work harder, stay later; you'll add 6 hours of productive work to your day. Every hour of uninterrupted work when nobody's there translates to 3 hours of productivity when people are around interrupting you

 

What's the most valuable use of my time right now? Always tell yourself: Back to work! if there's something you could be doing.

 

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EIGHTH DISCIPLINE: CONTINUOUS LEARNING

 

If you want to earn more, you have to learn more

 

Work at least as hard on yourself as you do on your work.

 

Read in your field daily

If you read 60 min/day in your field, that's 1 book/week. That's 50 books/year.

If you read 50 books/year, that's the equivalent of earning a pHD in your field every single year.

 

Listen to audiobooks in your car. The avg person drives 500-1000 hrs per year. That's the equivalent of 3-6 months of 40-hour weeks. That's the equivalent of 1-2 full time university semesters.

 

Attend seminars. Take structured courses from experts. You can learn more in half a day from an expert than you can in years on your own. Just ONE NEW TECHNIQUE can skyrocket your income/etc

 

The avg income increases ~3%/yr. By increasing knowledge/skill, you increase the RATE by which your income goes up

 

If you increase your income by 10%/yr, you'll double your income in 7.2 years.

 

If you increase your income by 25%/yr, you'll double your income in 2 years and 8 months... The more you learn, the more you earn.

 

-----------

 

NINTH DISCIPLINE: PERSISTENCE

 

The greatest test of self-discipline is when you persist in the face of adversity and drive yourself forward to complete your tasks 100%

 

You get BETTER by persisting. You "level up" IRL.

 

Every time you wanna give up, tell yourself it's a test. The person that you become by persisting or quitting is what matters.

 

eventually you develop a habit of persistence

 

1. Habit of self-discipline guarantees your success

 

2. when you practice SD, you'll get more done faster

 

3. you'll be paid more and promoted faster

 

4. greater sense of self-control and self-reliance and personal power

 

5. key to self-esteem, self-respect, and personal pride

 

6. greater self-confidence and lower fear of failure and rejection

 

7. strength of character to persist over all obstacles until you achieve

[RpgGamer]

@Luckystrike

 

If a girl clearly states she has no interest in relationships, chances are she means it. And to change her core values on such a subject would negate any framework of a potential relationship (especially because this issue in particular is how she doesn't want one). Even if you were to "win her over" you wouldn't be truly happy. Not for long. As muggi stated, cutting off all contact with her is your best bet. Get used to not thinking about her. Maybe one day years from now things will be different between the two of you, but don't let that be some sort of motivational tool. You have to do this because you need to move on, not because you need to be with her. Remember that.

[Omar]

You kick ass, Muggi.

[RpgGamer]

I save 50% of every penny earned. I'm ahead of the curve :D

[Ginger_Warrior]

You kick ass, Muggi.

He's quite the celebrity, apparently.

 

[hide="This is the famous Muggiwhplar...&quot]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFLWRTIPCCs

That strength level.[/hide]

[RpgGamer]

Is it weird that I feel like I've watched that video before? Brings joy to my heart to see the ol' Scape in it's glory days. Top comment is from 5 years ago. We old.

[Drazhor]

I think this is one of the first times of me posting here, asking for advice instead of giving, but anyway yeah, so I've never been really much of a talker...or I've never been somebody who talks a lot (although I do tend to senselessly babble on at time to time) and I think this limits me at times whenever I'm out at a club or a bar.

 

I'm just thinking about it because I went out to a club the other night with a few friends, have a bit of a laugh because generally when I go out, I don't go out in attempt to pull a girl but if it happens, it happens. But anyway, so we were in the club and had a few drinks and then my friends wanted to go out for a smoke, so I went out with them despite not being a smoker.

So we were all just chatting and having a bit of bant whenever a few of them start having a go at somebody because they're idiots and misinterpreted something. I stayed out of the way to this and sat back for a bit and watched, just in case I needed to step in.

But while I was sitting there, this really hot girl catches my eye, comes over to me and starts chatting to me, saying she loved my accent and asking where I was from. Now, at this stage, I plainly just said, "Aye, I'm from Belfast, what about yourself? You from around here?" or something like that...said she was a student too and said where she was from but then the chat just completely died.

 

This sort of situation happens fairly often to me, although it is mainly my fault due to an inability to hold a sensible conversation :P

 

Anybody got any tips that could help me resolve a situation like this?

[muggiwhplar]

I've always been pretty bad at small talk/first impressions/talking to strangers. Chalk it up to being an introvert.

 

Anyways, most of it just comes through experience. If you just want to be able to talk to anyone, check out How to Win Friend and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. But most of that stuff is actually counterproductive if you're actually trying to "seduce" a girl. In which case, it's more about touching than talking. Or if you're gonna talk about anything, talk about exciting topics like her hopes and dreams, her past relationships, her sex life, etc.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I've just started going through that again as a bedtime read. I'm not a fan of self-help books at all but that one provides a much better framework than most on how to deal with people you don't necessarily know. Funny how you should mention talking about her interests... that's actually one of the key chapters, I found.

[Estonian dude]

Drunk TIFing. FTW.

Anyqways, tomorrow is the final make or break evening, as I have sensed already that she is tired of me not doing anything and she wants me to do something. At least that's what I hope.

So wish me luck. I need to kiss her. First time I have initiated a kiss... Dunno if I can go through with it, so far only a girtl has kissed me...

[Randox]

Just a tip, but I might actually do something with her before I try to kiss her.

[Noxx]

I think this is one of the first times of me posting here, asking for advice instead of giving, but anyway yeah, so I've never been really much of a talker...or I've never been somebody who talks a lot (although I do tend to senselessly babble on at time to time) and I think this limits me at times whenever I'm out at a club or a bar.

 

I'm just thinking about it because I went out to a club the other night with a few friends, have a bit of a laugh because generally when I go out, I don't go out in attempt to pull a girl but if it happens, it happens. But anyway, so we were in the club and had a few drinks and then my friends wanted to go out for a smoke, so I went out with them despite not being a smoker.

So we were all just chatting and having a bit of bant whenever a few of them start having a go at somebody because they're idiots and misinterpreted something. I stayed out of the way to this and sat back for a bit and watched, just in case I needed to step in.

But while I was sitting there, this really hot girl catches my eye, comes over to me and starts chatting to me, saying she loved my accent and asking where I was from. Now, at this stage, I plainly just said, "Aye, I'm from Belfast, what about yourself? You from around here?" or something like that...said she was a student too and said where she was from but then the chat just completely died.

 

This sort of situation happens fairly often to me, although it is mainly my fault due to an inability to hold a sensible conversation :P

 

Anybody got any tips that could help me resolve a situation like this?

 

Keeping a conversation alive is a lot easier than it seems usually. It does depend on experience a bit, i guess. But even at first it is not at all as hard as it may seem. I have mentioned this before, but an easy way to keep a conversation going is by asking questions. This is actually a "two birds with one stone" move as not only does it keep the conversation alive, it also makes her feel like you are interested in her. Obviously the kind of interest is going to depend on the kind of questions you ask. I've found that asking about her "hopes and dreams" is usually a good way to start a lengthy conversation. Whenever i feel like a conversation with a girl is about to die out i ask her pretty much this exact questions "So what is your big plan in life?" This will usually lead to her telling you what she plans on doing with her life (obviously as that is what you asked) and then it's pretty simple to keep things going from there on. "Do you plan on staying in [insert country here], or would you like to work abroad?"

Depending on her answer it can easily lead to another question: "Why choose [insert country here]?" or something like that.

Obviously it's not always going to work, but i have found that 60% of the time it works every time. I know it's a stupid reference to use but what i mean by that is, by the time she has told you about her hopes and dreams she has already made up her mind about whether or not she's going to be interested in seeing you again and if she is still talking to you indications are good that things are going well. A girl is not going to keep a conversation going with a guy if the only thing she's thinking is "God, i want to get out of here."

 

Personally i would not ask her about past relationships from the get go as a question like that could often bring up bitter memories. Another reason is that when you ask about past relationships you shift the focus off of yourself and on to that guy she used to date or the fact that she has not been dating anyone for a very long time. This is a bad move as you want her attention to be on you, not some other guy or the absence of any guy.

Also talking about her sex life might give some girls the wrong first impression. If you're only looking for a quick lay, then sure go for it. But if you're actually looking for something more than that, asking a girl you just met about her sex life might give her the impression that you want to get in her pants and have her be gone before the rise of the next morning's sun.

 

In the particular situation that you were in, a few easy ways of keeping the conversation going would have been to ask her what she was studying, where she plans on going with that, why she chose that specific location to study, etc. It seems like a stupid thing to say, but those are questions you can practice on most girls you run in to that are in Uni/College.

 

 

Drunk TIFing. FTW.

Anyqways, tomorrow is the final make or break evening, as I have sensed already that she is tired of me not doing anything and she wants me to do something. At least that's what I hope.

So wish me luck. I need to kiss her. First time I have initiated a kiss... Dunno if I can go through with it, so far only a girtl has kissed me...

 

Kissing a girl for the first time is always a nerve wrecking experience. I remember hearing somewhere that most first kisses usually occur mid-sentence. As silly as it sounds i think it does hold some degree of truth. I remember with my first girlfriend the following happened:

 

We were at a party one night. We had seen each other maybe 2 or 3 times before that in a group environment and every time we saw each other we would spend a lot of time talking/hanging out at the party. I remember talking to my sister about her on the way to the party and she told me that i had to do something tonight to show the girl that i was interested in her. So i was all nerves that night. I watched the clock count down and my time was fast running out. I knew i had to do something before she left but i was not sure how. It's not like you can just walk up to her and kiss her in front of a whole crown. So i waited and i waited. I found an opportunity when she went inside to go to the bathroom. I walked towards her and caught up with her just as she entered the house (we were all outside) and asked her "So where you off to?" even though i knew exactly where she was going. I was just about to take her by the hand and kiss her when someone came out from one of the rooms in the house. So i chickened out and told her i'll see her outside.

Night was coming to an end when she came up to me and told me that her driver was waiting for her outside and she was gonna go home. So i told her i would walk her to the car. Now here's where another problem came in. Her friend was going home with her, and i didn't want to kiss her in front of her friend. So i made up an excuse and told her i forgot my phone on the table inside "Come with me so i can get it, it will only take a second." Her friend walked to the car and this we were standing in the dining room where i "forgot my phone" when i took her hand and said "Can i just...." and we kissed.

 

I'm sorry for sharing a stupid story with you that really might not relate to your situation in any way, just reading your post brought back a good memory :)

 

Anyway, back to kissing a girl. Obviously you're going to want somewhere quiet. Since you're already going to be nervous about it, the last thing you need are 100's of judging eyes. So find a way to get her away from the crowd. If it's at a party, tell her to go get a drink with you or take her to a quiet room and tell her you wanted to ask her something. If it's at a restaurant/cinema, wait till you walk her to the car/cab/whatever.

Also isolating yourself and her from a crowd often gives a good signal: you want to be alone with her.

[Estonian dude]

I meant that I have also spent lots of times hanging and chatting with this girl, as I think I've said here before aswell. In fact, her classmates have told me that WTF am I waiting for or WTF did I wait for, it's so easily visible you are into her and I should've kissed her a long while ago. About a month ago, when we were at the first party together and I already spent over an hour just chatting with her, alone. And every party ever since has been like that and I think I've told that we chat on messenger for hours daily aswell.

[StrOwez]

I think this is one of the first times of me posting here, asking for advice instead of giving, but anyway yeah, so I've never been really much of a talker...or I've never been somebody who talks a lot (although I do tend to senselessly babble on at time to time) and I think this limits me at times whenever I'm out at a club or a bar.

 

I'm just thinking about it because I went out to a club the other night with a few friends, have a bit of a laugh because generally when I go out, I don't go out in attempt to pull a girl but if it happens, it happens. But anyway, so we were in the club and had a few drinks and then my friends wanted to go out for a smoke, so I went out with them despite not being a smoker.

So we were all just chatting and having a bit of bant whenever a few of them start having a go at somebody because they're idiots and misinterpreted something. I stayed out of the way to this and sat back for a bit and watched, just in case I needed to step in.

But while I was sitting there, this really hot girl catches my eye, comes over to me and starts chatting to me, saying she loved my accent and asking where I was from. Now, at this stage, I plainly just said, "Aye, I'm from Belfast, what about yourself? You from around here?" or something like that...said she was a student too and said where she was from but then the chat just completely died.

 

This sort of situation happens fairly often to me, although it is mainly my fault due to an inability to hold a sensible conversation :P

 

Anybody got any tips that could help me resolve a situation like this?

 

You have to take into account that some girls are extremely boring and you'll have nothing in common with them apart from the fact that you're both attracted to each other. In a club smoking area though you have the opportunity to be random and funny. Don't ask boring questions like "Are you also a student?" "What are you studying...?" They've heard that a million times before and if they like you then they'll ask you that later anyway, be more creative. Back in the day when I was drunk in a bar/club talking to a girl I'd say a bunch of random crap, usually first things that'd pop into my head for mine and her amusement.

 

Me: Hi

Girl: Hi

Me: Pigeons

Girl: Huh? They scare me

Me: Would you eat one though?

Girl: No, why would I?

Me: It's the end of the world and there's no food

Girl: haha why is it the end of the world?

Me: There's been a nuclear war

Girl: That's a weird question to ask someone

Me: Well yeah, but it's better than the standard shit you get plus it made you laugh kinda, or creeped out I'm not sure

Girl: Creeped out...

Me: Ok I'm sorry about that, that was a bit random of me

Girl: Nah it was funny

 

At that stage I'd realise what I'd be dealing with; if she gives banter back and is funny then it's game on and we can have more fun conversations, buy some drinks, dance, etc. If she's boring but I'm a bit bored I'd try some conversation from another angle, if I'm not bored I'd probably kill it off and walk away to talk to my friends. You'd find most of the times that you'd made an impression and she'll come over later on in the night, or you'll have a chance to wave her over to try again.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I have seen some people use that tactic before with vastly variable degrees of success.

 

Honestly, though, whenever anyone in the past has come up to me and said something weird like that (well, maybe that's too harsh... quirky anyway), I've always thought they're attention seeking--there's just no other explanation for that kind of behaviour. Which, given what you're trying to achieve there, isn't too far from the truth. Attention-seeking is never an attractive trait, except to complete psychos.

[StrOwez]

It's just something to say other than the standard routine, not really seeking attention as such but a way to get to know a person using randomness to break the ice. Of course you'd only do this in a club/bar where both of you would have couple of drinks in you.