"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Iamdan]

sup?

[Noxx]

Input might be needed.

 

So here's how it happened:

 

Me and my mate went out on Saturday night. There's this girl he's had a "thing" with for a while now. And when i say a "thing" i mean they text each other now and then. But a few months ago they were a lot closer than they are now. They never actually went on an official date, but he was really in to her (and still kind of is). She has a kid though, so she often blows him off, doesn't reply to texts, doesn't answer when he calls, etc. She kind of does this to everyone though. So anyway, we're out and she sends him a text asking what he's up to. He tells her, of course, and she says that she was going to stop by and say hi. We were just about to leave because the place was closing and by the time she got there we were walking back to my car. So we ended up standing in the parking lot for an hour talking. But here's the thing... That entire hour she was talking to me. We were making jokes and teasing each other. My friend kind of just stood there and said a few words now and then. She would get very touchy with me as well, while we were talking. Often punching my arm, or pushing me, in a joking way. Or sometimes just put her hand on my arm while talking to me. Now the same thing happened a few weeks ago to, while we were out at a bar. She spent the whole night sitting next to me and every now and then i would feel her leg brush against mine, or she would put her hand on my leg when talking to me. I didn't really think much of it that night, to be honest. The two of us seem to click really well.

So anyway, on Saturday night we eventually had to say bye (actually i told her i was tired and i wanted to get to bed and i couldn't be bothered spending another hour standing in a parking lot). She came over to me (i was sitting on the hood of my car) and pulled me off so i could hug her. She hugged me and put her head on my chest. She then walked over to my friend, hugged him and walked off.

 

Now here's the problem. I have grown to kind of like her over the past few weeks. We had a few very deep conversations about why she's been such a "[bleep]" towards my friend (by not texting back/answering calls). I told her i knew why she was doing it, and that i kind of understand why. Her kid needs to be #1, and she can't afford to fall inlove with a guy that's bound to leave in a few months. Me on the other hand... she see's me more like a "Mr. Rightnow" as pathetic as that sounds. Also, there's the fact that i don't act like other guys. Most guys want sex, and pretty much only sex. Me on the other hand... sex isn't such a big deal to me, and she knows that somehow. Maybe it's because i am able to talk to any girl at a bar without caring about getting her number, or taking them home with me.

 

Anyway to get back to business. I know that things between her and my friend are never going to go anywhere. Knew it from day one, and also told him this. Of course, he never listened. But her behavior towards me the past few weeks makes me feel like i'm not just a friend of a friend to her. But i am not sure what i should do about it. My friend is likely to leave in a week or two. I don't have her number so it's likely that i won't see her often at all after that. Also i'm not sure if i'm going to be a dick if i do in fact try to make a move.

[Tim]

sup?

 

By Odin's Nipples! he's alive!

[I_am_Geed]

Dan left for god-knows why, Da-Latios (aka Hiroki) quit RS and TIF as a whole, Goddess had her second kid I think?, Ray ragequitted, Lent quit TIF, RPG goes in circles with wimminz, Muggi yammers on about polywhatisitwhosa-, Omar is the historian to the thread and I'm a recovering blob of a mess from 10 years of severe depression that's only started to cure (somewhat) over the past 12 months.

 

In other news, hoping there's more then 1 guy who's gay at next week's party.

 

The leader of the Reddit clan is named Hiroki >.>

[RpgGamer]

@Noxx

 

You'd be a dick to make a move before consulting your friend. Talk to him to make sure he won't get all pissy if you make a move. Then you'll be free to roam about the country ;)

 

sup?

 

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!

 

You plan on sticking around, or are you just dropping by ol' chum?

 

Dan left for god-knows why, Da-Latios (aka Hiroki) quit RS and TIF as a whole, Goddess had her second kid I think?, Ray ragequitted, Lent quit TIF, RPG goes in circles with wimminz, Muggi yammers on about polywhatisitwhosa-, Omar is the historian to the thread and I'm a recovering blob of a mess from 10 years of severe depression that's only started to cure (somewhat) over the past 12 months.

 

In other news, hoping there's more then 1 guy who's gay at next week's party.

 

The leader of the Reddit clan is named Hiroki >.>

 

I'll bet there's a reason for that :P

 

--

--

 

Been looking for a new thrill and as luck would have it, a girl I talked to like 2 years ago hit me up on facebook. Hadn't talked to her since truly. She had a boyfriend at the time, but now she's single. And has nipple piercings. And a kid.

 

weeeeee

[constrictor]

NIPPLE PIERCINGS. THAT [bleep] CRAY.

 

Minus the kid, I'd say go for it.

It'll get messy with that little guy running around.

[RpgGamer]

I hit on a girl with a kid before, though I can't for the life of me remember who in the world it was (but I did briefly mention it on this thread). I basically decided that she needed something more serious than I was able to offer. But this new girl sounds like she just needs a nice little vacation from school/work/single-motherhood. Exactly what I can give her :)

 

EDIT:

 

and now it's bothering the ever loving crap out of me that I can't even remember when it was that I hit on that other girl with a kid. Blah.

(EDIT#2)

I'll literally mail anyone a $20 gift card to whatever they want if you can find the post I made about hitting on chicks with kids from lord knows how long ago.

[Noxx]

I really hate judging people, and generally when it comes to a ~20 year old single mother people tend to judge. Or even worse, people try to justify her having a kid by saying "everyone makes mistakes" like the kid was some sort of mistake. Now this girl has a kid, and i honestly never thought i would be even vaguely in to someone with a kid. Mostly because of my conservative upbringing, and also because i don't want to raise someone else's kid. But for some reason with her i really don't care that she has a kid. She's an extremely responsible parent, and that is a quality that makes her even more attractive.

 

As for talking to my friend about this... I'm not really sure how to do it. He thinks that he's god's gift to women, in some way. I once mentioned that i'm willing to bet i could get in to this girl's pants before he can. He of course laughed it off, told me she would never go for a guy like me, she's way too in to him, etc. He's very jealous and competitive with me for some reason. Whenever i tried hooking up with a girl for the past month or two he would always [rooster] block me by telling me that "Oh, x-girl is here tonight" while i was talking to a girl. She of course would ask who this girl was and he would pretty much say something along the lines of "Oh, that's a girl he's been [bleep]ing for a while". It's happened a few times the past two or three weeks and i spoke to him about it and he says he's just "messing around". This is kind of why i feel like i don't owe him anything anymore. Why i feel like if i think this girl has a thing for me, then i should just go for it.

[constrictor]

Just go for it.

He sounds like a complete [rooster]. Let him have his hens, but theyre free game to everyone else.

 

<end bad metaphor>

[RpgGamer]

I really hate judging people, and generally when it comes to a ~20 year old single mother people tend to judge. Or even worse, people try to justify her having a kid by saying "everyone makes mistakes" like the kid was some sort of mistake. Now this girl has a kid, and i honestly never thought i would be even vaguely in to someone with a kid. Mostly because of my conservative upbringing, and also because i don't want to raise someone else's kid. But for some reason with her i really don't care that she has a kid. She's an extremely responsible parent, and that is a quality that makes her even more attractive.

 

As for talking to my friend about this... I'm not really sure how to do it. He thinks that he's god's gift to women, in some way. I once mentioned that i'm willing to bet i could get in to this girl's pants before he can. He of course laughed it off, told me she would never go for a guy like me, she's way too in to him, etc. He's very jealous and competitive with me for some reason. Whenever i tried hooking up with a girl for the past month or two he would always [rooster] block me by telling me that "Oh, x-girl is here tonight" while i was talking to a girl. She of course would ask who this girl was and he would pretty much say something along the lines of "Oh, that's a girl he's been [bleep]ing for a while". It's happened a few times the past two or three weeks and i spoke to him about it and he says he's just "messing around". This is kind of why i feel like i don't owe him anything anymore. Why i feel like if i think this girl has a thing for me, then i should just go for it.

 

Ok yeah he sounds like a real dick weed. Why do you continue to hang out with that? haha

[I_am_Geed]

 

 

Ok yeah he sounds like a real dick weed. Why do you continue to hang out with that? haha

 

I agree with. Why bother with those who are giving you a hard time over your own personal interests? Drop him and if you feel that strongly about said woman go for it.

[Nekyia]

I hit on a girl with a kid before, though I can't for the life of me remember who in the world it was (but I did briefly mention it on this thread). I basically decided that she needed something more serious than I was able to offer. But this new girl sounds like she just needs a nice little vacation from school/work/single-motherhood. Exactly what I can give her :)

 

EDIT:

 

and now it's bothering the ever loving crap out of me that I can't even remember when it was that I hit on that other girl with a kid. Blah.

(EDIT#2)

I'll literally mail anyone a $20 gift card to whatever they want if you can find the post I made about hitting on chicks with kids from lord knows how long ago.

 

I found your post about you being interested in your coworker who had a kid. Does that count? :P

 

http://forum.tip.it/...20#entry4474122

[RpgGamer]

I hit on a girl with a kid before, though I can't for the life of me remember who in the world it was (but I did briefly mention it on this thread). I basically decided that she needed something more serious than I was able to offer. But this new girl sounds like she just needs a nice little vacation from school/work/single-motherhood. Exactly what I can give her :)

 

EDIT:

 

and now it's bothering the ever loving crap out of me that I can't even remember when it was that I hit on that other girl with a kid. Blah.

(EDIT#2)

I'll literally mail anyone a $20 gift card to whatever they want if you can find the post I made about hitting on chicks with kids from lord knows how long ago.

 

I found your post about you being interested in your coworker who had a kid. Does that count? :P

 

http://forum.tip.it/...20#entry4474122

 

 

How the hell did you do that?

I owe you a gift card sir (or ma'dam?)

 

@Noxx

 

Your bro sounds like a bad time. You clearly care for him and his feelings far more than he does yours. Have a real heart to heart with him, and guage the value of his friendship. Legit.

[Nekyia]

Definitely not a sir :P And it took me only 2 minutes to find. I just searched the topic for the word "kid" then I just used the find command to look for your name and there you go :D

[RpgGamer]

Definitely not a sir :P And it took me only 2 minutes to find. I just searched the topic for the word "kid" then I just used the find command to look for your name and there you go :D

 

You have no idea how much I struggled doing that. I must have filtered something wrong. And now that I've read the context around that post, yikes. I was such a naive idiot back then haha. First week of college and I'm "girlfriend hunting" ? What the hell was wrong with me? You were right to blow up on me Omar hahaha

[Kalphite]

It's kind of crazy to me that I remember that conversation now and that now I'm older than you were then... I could never picture dating someone with a kid at the age I'm at now.

 

And now it's kind of scary realizing that I thought of you as being significantly older what with the just turning 21 and all, but I'm actually only two years younger (turning 19 in may)... where did that time go? :shock:

[Sir_Squab]

@Noxx

 

You'd be a dick to make a move before consulting your friend. Talk to him to make sure he won't get all pissy if you make a move. Then you'll be free to roam about the country ;)

 

sup?

 

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!

 

You plan on sticking around, or are you just dropping by ol' chum?

 

Dan left for god-knows why, Da-Latios (aka Hiroki) quit RS and TIF as a whole, Goddess had her second kid I think?, Ray ragequitted, Lent quit TIF, RPG goes in circles with wimminz, Muggi yammers on about polywhatisitwhosa-, Omar is the historian to the thread and I'm a recovering blob of a mess from 10 years of severe depression that's only started to cure (somewhat) over the past 12 months.

 

In other news, hoping there's more then 1 guy who's gay at next week's party.

 

The leader of the Reddit clan is named Hiroki >.>

 

I'll bet there's a reason for that :P

 

--

--

 

Been looking for a new thrill and as luck would have it, a girl I talked to like 2 years ago hit me up on facebook. Hadn't talked to her since truly. She had a boyfriend at the time, but now she's single. And has nipple piercings. And a kid.

 

weeeeee

 

You seem to attract a certain type of woman.

[Noxx]

The thing with him is... he's i guess a bit jealous. A few months ago i used to be in his shoes. I didn't talk to girls, and i would [bleep] and whine about them constantly. Then something obviously changed and i now talk to who i want when i want. He doesn't though. So often when we go out i'll "ditch" him for a few minutes so i can go talk to some girls. I always used to tell him to come with and talk to the girl's friend or something, but he always either made excuses or he would end up just standing there not saying a word and make things a bit awkward. And the funny thing is he thinks because he's 5 years older than me he get's to call the shots. Like when we were in Vegas together i met these two girls. Both extremely attractive. One was Canadian and the other one was... somewhere in Europe (i forgot). I was going for the blond Canadian girl, as she is the one i initially met at the pool that day. I told him by all means he can go for the other one (brunette). All was fine until later that night when all of a sudden he thought it was his right to choose for me. So he told me there was something about the blond girl he found a bit more attractive, so now he wants her, and i should take the brunette. In all honesty i could not have given a flying [bleep] in February because both of them were really hot. It just pissed me off that he thought he had the right to choose when i was the one that had to do ALL the right work. He tried doing this a few times in the past too but i told him to go [bleep] himself.

He does turn into a bit of a [bleep] when it comes to girls. But when no girls are involved he's the coolest guy around. He's my bro. We've helped each other out a lot. He just get's on my nerves when it comes to girls because he's totally clueless as to what goes on around him.

 

Anyway he is supposed to leave in about a week or two, and i was thinking i could just wait till he leaves before i do something. He's gonna go back to England and chances are him and this girl won't really keep contact much after that anyway, since it's kind of hard to keep in touch with her as it is.

[RpgGamer]

It's kind of crazy to me that I remember that conversation now and that now I'm older than you were then... I could never picture dating someone with a kid at the age I'm at now.

 

And now it's kind of scary realizing that I thought of you as being significantly older what with the just turning 21 and all, but I'm actually only two years younger (turning 19 in may)... where did that time go? :shock:

 

these years go by quick 'round this time in life

 

EDIT:

@Noxx

 

Same as before, sit him down and tell him what the [bleep] is up

[Iamdan]

But for some reason with her i really don't care that she has a kid. She's an extremely responsible parent, and that is a quality that makes her even more attractive.

 

I'd be careful here, and make sure that if you do get involved with her that you aren't underestimating not only what you are taking on yourself, but the effects on the relationship and the consequences for the kid if you end up breaking up after a year+

 

It's a pretty serious thing.

 

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!

You plan on sticking around, or are you just dropping by ol' chum?

 

I was procrastinating catching up on some paperwork and for some reason decided to log in and see if anything exciting was going on here. Coincidentally my name was being mentioned at the same time.

 

As for why I've stopped posting, it's a combination of me deciding that giving out this kind of advice all the time was detrimental to myself, and just plain 'ol being busy with life.

 

That said, for anyone willing to invest 20 hours into their life and happiness - check out the blueprint decoded. Take notes - it will seriously blow your mind.

I was pretty sceptical at first but it ended up being everything I was trying to wrap my head around but couldn't model it on my own, and a lot more. It's more related to general life philosophies than dating which is what I'm into at the moment, but his theory is that if you get your shit sorted then an abundance of women is practically an afterthought.

 

Also, the way of the superior man which is a quick read but well worth it- especially if you are in a relationship.

[nine naked men]

^this exact post but replace every book title or some shit w/the words "weird asian porn"

 

thats my winning advice

[muggiwhplar]

That said, for anyone willing to invest 20 hours into their life and happiness - check out the blueprint decoded. Take notes - it will seriously blow your mind.

I was pretty sceptical at first but it ended up being everything I was trying to wrap my head around but couldn't model it on my own, and a lot more. It's more related to general life philosophies than dating which is what I'm into at the moment, but his theory is that if you get your shit sorted then an abundance of women is practically an afterthought.

 

 

:lol:

[TTanT]

So I finally got a chance to ask said girl I was pursuing out to coffee, and it's going to be this Thursday at 1:00pm at my college's Student Union.

 

Admittedly, I think my asking pretty much ignored all of your advice ("By the way, would you like to get some coffee sometime"?), but I realized that the moment it was out of my mouth and made sure to throw an exact date and time out after she'd said yes to the vague question (while internally kicking myself a little).

It worked out, though since she did say yes. She hesitated briefly before answering, but that's just as likely to be due to surprise as actual hesitancy so I'm not going to start psychoanalyzing the situation when I'll find out pretty well when we actually hang out.

 

But yeah, success! I'll update you guys on how well sniffing her back and pulling her hair goes.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I hope it goes better than my most recent attempt to start something without pulling her hair.

[hellbellz]

This thread is still stickied? I wonder how many relationships this has started. Or ended, which is always a better story.