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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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Muggi, do you use any particular opener for girls who have very little info on their profile/nothing in their pics? I'm asking them to play love it/hate it as a way to get to know more about them, but it's not suuuuper successful.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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I use the same opener for every woman and I never read their profiles. I only message women w/ pictures. If a woman w/o pics messages me first, I politely but firmly request pictures before I start talking to her :P

 

Just start copy and pasting them all something along the lines of, "You seem a little different from all the other women on here. But I could be wrong. :) Message me back if you want."

 

Close the opener w/ your first initial. Don't tell them your first name till later.

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I want to believe copy paste openers don't work but clearly you've proven otherwise

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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How does a girl who mentions her love of amateur gore porn three times manage to reach "reply selectively"? All I'm thinking about is where I should leave notes so my mom can find where my corpse was dumped.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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I made an okcupid account. I had one before but I never messaged anyone and then I deleted it. That's probably what I'll do again tbh. I honestly made one just because I think the prospect of online dating is ridiculous and I needed to see it for myself.  But I'm sure that's because I'm super introverted and the prospect of sifting through a database and then approaching someone to be absolutely mortifying.

 

But my friend is currently doing it and has gotten like 3 dates out of it already so we'll see. Maybe I'll actually try it this time around.

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[bleep] the law, they can eat my dick that's word to Pimp

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I like the fact that I can keep it totally separate from the rest of my life.
Trying Muggi's opener, and shelled out for A-list last night. We'll see what happens.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Here's how I scheduled my last 5 dates.

 

[hide=Exhibit A]
Me: [opener]

 

Her: Hey there :) hows your day been?

 

Me: Today was fun-- went to the pool for a couple of hours to read and relax. What would you say your best quality is that doesn't have anything to do with your looks? I've got my own guesses but you'd probably know better than I would. :)

Muggi

 

Her: What were you reading? And i dont know, im so bad at talking about myself. Haha. I think i have good taste in music and smart. I'd love to here your guesses though :)

 

Me: I just was re-reading parts of The Four Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss and taking notes. I was going to say that you seem to have a good taste in movies (Fight Club is one of my favorites), but then again, I could be wrong and you could actually be a psycho lunatic serial killer... are you a psycho lunatic serial killer? :)

 

Her: Luckily enough, i am not. Haha. Everyone always gives me crap for fight club! What other movies do you like?

 

Me: My favorite movies are probably Dumb and Dumber, American Beauty, Wet Hot American Summer, and just about anything by Quentin Tarantino or Judd Apatow. Ok you seem safe enough then. :) We should meet up-- something simple like coffee or dessert. I'm free tomorrow night at 7pm and Tuesday night at 8pm. If you're up for it, let me know if either of those work for you and I'll give you a time and a place.

 

Muggi

 

Her: I could do tuesday :)

 

Me: Ok cool. There's a Starbucks near xxxxxxxxxx. Let's meet there on Tuesday night at 8pm. My number's xxxxxxxxxxx

 

Her: Sweet, my names xxxxxx, by the way

 

[24 hours prior to our date]

 

Me: Hey just confirming that we're still on for Starbucks tomorrow night at 8

 

Her: Yeah, i'll be there!

[/hide]

 

[hide=Exhibit B]

Me: [opener]

 

Her: Lol you're funny. I haven't written much on my profile so I either come off as bland or ambiguous [her profile description was completely blank but she had pictures and looked hot]

 

Me: Lol, what would you say your best quality is that doesn't have anything to do with your looks? I've got my own guesses but you'd probably know better than I would. :)

 

Her: What would you guess? uh I say that I am driven and creative are my best quality. What's yours?

 

Me: I'm actually a terrible person with no positive qualities. :) Haha but seriously it's my carefree personality. I never get stressed out or angry. You seem pretty down to earth, but then again, I could be wrong and you could be a psycho lunatic serial killer... you're not a psycho lunatic serial killer, are you? :)

 

Her: no, not yet. Lol everyone always appear normal on the internet. I met my ex roommate on craigslist.. perfectly normal person until I lived with her. That's good that you're carefree. I think my worst trait is I have a hard time relaxing when I am focused on something. I need that balance lol.

 

Me: Lol ok I think you seem safe enough then. We should meet up sometime-- something simple like coffee or drinks after work. I'm free tomorrow night at 6pm and Monday night at 7:30pm. If you're up for it, let me know if either of those work for you and I'll give you a time and a place.

Muggi

 

Her: That sounds awesome! I can meet Sunday at 6 PM

 

Me: Ok cool, there's a small coffee shop at xxxxxxxx called xxxxxx. Let's meet up there tomorrow night at 6. My number's xxxxxxxxxxx

 

Her: sounds great. I'll be there. here's my number xxxxxxxxxxx

[/hide]

 

[hide=Exhibit C]

Me: [opener]

 

Her: I went ahead and read it. Not sure what is suppose to sway women away

 

Me: Haha thanks. I think some women are just intimidated by its straightforwardness. What would you say your best quality is that doesn't have anything to do with your looks? I've got my own guesses but you'd probably know better than I would. :)

 

Her: I can accommodate to most settings fairly easy. You?

 

Me: I'm actually a terrible person with no positive qualities. :) Haha but seriously it's my carefree personality. I never get stressed out or angry. You seem safe enough-- we should meet up sometime. Something simple like coffee or drinks. I'm free on Monday and Tuesday at 6pm. If you're up for it, let me know if either of those work and I'll give you a time and a place.

Muggi

 

Her: Alright well I'm not sure on the times to meet just yet because my schedule is pretty hectic at the moment but I think Tuesday may work

 

Me: Ok cool, what part of town are you coming from?

 

Her: xxxx, you?

 

Me: I live on xxxxxx. Let's do Tuesday at 6pm at the Starbucks at xxxxxxx. My number's xxxxxxxxx.

 

Her: ok that works. my number is xxxxxxxxx.

[/hide]

 

[hide=Exhibit D]

Me: [opener]

 

Her: Well, herro! There was absolutely nothing off-putting in your profile. I really enjoyed and appreciated reading all of it and respect your honesty. You seem to really know what you want and what you're looking for...

 

Me: Haha thanks I'm glad you appreciated it. What would you say your best quality is that doesn't have anything to do with your looks? I've got my own guesses but you'd probably know better than I would. :)

 

Her: I definitely am a spunky, energetic, and active person. I dork out all the time and am a no drama, no fuss sorta person. Save that drama shit for your mama. For real, though.

 

Me: Lol I'm stealing that drama mama quote. So you're not like a psycho lunatic serial killer then? :)

 

Her: How funny, I just now read your previous message. My message was not in response to your question, but I guess definitely could be. Haha!

 

Me: Well that's convenient. And don't think I haven't noticed that you seem to be dodging the serial killer question haha

 

Her: But, yeah. My best quality is my sense of humor. I acknowledge and am fully aware that life is full of highs and lows, my sense of humor has gotten me through so much. Sometimes it is nice to just throw your head back and laugh at any circumstance. I believe that life is too short and precious to walk astound pissed off at the world trying to blame everybody and everything. Laughter and a sense of humor is by far the best medicine. :P Haha! How about you? What would you say is your greatest asset other than physically?

 

Me: I'm actually a terrible person with no positive qualities. :) Haha but seriously it's my carefree personality. I never get stressed out or angry. You seem safe enough (even though I'm still relatively sure you're trying to kill me). We should meet up sometime-- something simple like coffee or drinks. I'm free on Monday night at 8pm and Wednesday night at 6pm. If you're up for it, let me know if either of those work for you and I'll give you a time and a place.

 

Muggi

 

Her: Yeah, you sound like a pretty tuuuuurrrrrrible humanoid. ;)

That's the beauty and thrill of meeting someone you barely know. Ya never know if they are gonna pull a Dhamer or Helter Skelter on you, but that's why you need to know some kick ass ninja moves.

Wednesday might actually work, but this is my final full week of school so my schedule is going to be a bit unpredictable based on the amount of projects I complete.

So, maybe we can exchange numbers to remain better connected until then?

My number is xxxxxx. Hit me up. My name is xxxxx by the way.

[/hide]

 

[hide=Exhibit E]

Me: [opener]

 

Her: What was supposed to be off putting about it? I thought it was just honest, straight forward which is good =}

 

Me: Haha I'm glad you appreciated it-- its straightforwardness can be intimidating to some women. What would you say your best quality is that doesn't have anything to do with your looks? I've got my own guesses but you'd probably know better than I would. :)

 

Her: I would say my sense of honesty and being understanding...I try to be as open minded and accepting of other things as much as possible. You?

 

Me: I'm actually a terrible person with no positive qualities. :) Haha but seriously it's my carefree personality-- I never get stressed out or angry.

You seem safe enough. We should meet up-- something simple like coffee or drinks. I'm free on Friday at 8pm and Sunday at 7pm. If you're up for it, let me know if either of those work for you and I'll give you a time and a place.

Muggi

 

Her: That's cool, I can't say I never get stressed but it is hard to make me angry like you really have to be trying. Yea sounds good, I'll actually be free Friday so that works

 

Me: Ok cool, there's a Starbucks on xxxxxxx. Let's meet up there on Friday at 8pm. My number's xxxxxx.

 

Her: Yea I know where that is I live in xxxxxx and it's right down the road. Ok then Muggi, my name's xxxxxxx by the way =}

 

Me: Awesome, see you on Friday

 

(24 hours prior to the date)

 

Me: Hey just confirming that we're still on for Starbucks tomorrow night at 8

Her: Yes we are

[/hide]

 

So in case you didn't notice, I follow the same system every time. Open them, ask them about their best qualities, confirm they're not a serial killer, pitch the meet. When I pitch the meet, if they're 21+ (legal drinking age in the US) I pitch "coffee or drinks," and if they're under 21 then I just say "coffee or dessert." After I pitch the meet, if they say something along the lines of "I'll have to check my schedule" or "let me get back to you" or "can we just talk some more first" I abandon them and move on unless they give me their phone number and start texting me. At which point I nail down a meet ASAP or else I move on. If a girl isn't making it easy for you to set up a date with her, she probably has no interest in ever meeting up with you.

 

After I schedule the meet I either message them on the dating site or I text them ~24 hours prior to our date to confirm. If the date is scheduled 2+ days away, I try to have a brief text conversation with her between when I scheduled the date and when the date is happening so that she won't forget and/or get cold feet.

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I made an okcupid account. I had one before but I never messaged anyone and then I deleted it. That's probably what I'll do again tbh. I honestly made one just because I think the prospect of online dating is ridiculous and I needed to see it for myself.  But I'm sure that's because I'm super introverted and the prospect of sifting through a database and then approaching someone to be absolutely mortifying.

 

But my friend is currently doing it and has gotten like 3 dates out of it already so we'll see. Maybe I'll actually try it this time around.

 

If you're a hardcore introvert like I am, you're never going to find a more introvert-friendly way of meeting women since basically every other alternative requires you to be constantly socializing in person.

 

Though I have a feeling it's not just women that scare you, but strangers in general. You should learn how to socialize and make new friends quickly/easily before you try dating. Even when I was inexperienced with women, by that time I'd developed really strong social skills which in turn made women assume that I was super "experienced" because of how confident and carefree I was around them.

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That awkward moment when a close friend of yours tells you he just proposed... His relationship has notoriously been the unhealthiest in our social circle of friends >_>

 

I'll be back in my hometown for about a week next week and I'll see him then. I predict that we'll both get drunk as usual, and when the topic of his relationship will come up, he'll admit that I'm right but he's too afraid to trust my judgment, and he'll go through with this against his better judgment and continue doing things as if we'd never spoken. That's how it's always been for the past 4+ years at least :\

 

So sad watching my friends make terrible decisions. :(

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yep ^ sometimes people have to sink or swim on their own, regardless of the help you try to give them. interesting to see the openers as well, i guess once you have something that works well might as well keep re-using it!

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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wet hot american summer owns, why wouldn't your opener just be "i like wet hot american summer, your move"

 

is this a gaping hole i've just found in your life philosophy, muggi ???

 

i think i once went on a first date w/ a girl who also loved wet hot american summer. i brought it up in our conversation but she acted pretty aloof about it, which was bad cuz i was banking on her strongly correlating my appreciation for Wet Hot American Summer with my likelihood of being a suitable mate.

 

ever since then, while i attempt to recollect and assemble the pieces of my broken heart, i've been unable to incorporate my appreciation for obscure comedic cinema into my system

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Yo muggi, could you talk about how you write your profile information or like give a sample of a good way to do it or something? I have no clue how to write something like that and apparently whatever you're doing works for you.

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[bleep] the law, they can eat my dick that's word to Pimp

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Yo muggi, could you talk about how you write your profile information or like give a sample of a good way to do it or something? I have no clue how to write something like that and apparently whatever you're doing works for you.

 

http://forum.tip.it/topic/192134-i-want-a-girlfriendboyfriend-and-other-such-relationship-advice/page-822?do=findComment&comment=5489193

 

 

i'm deeply sorry for reopening old wounds

 

it's ok but plz give me some gauze of some sort (preferably "Kendall" brand!!)

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You've clearly implemented a number of salesmen techniques in your initial conversation phase Muggiw. While I still dont like the idea of copy + paste conversations, they obviously yield desirable results. I commend your use of trade skills in such a versatile way. I imagine you'd also be skilled at buying cars.

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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[hide=Exhibit E]

Me: [opener]

 

Her: What was supposed to be off putting about it? I thought it was just honest, straight forward which is good =}

 

Me: Haha I'm glad you appreciated it-- its straightforwardness can be intimidating to some women. What would you say your best quality is that doesn't have anything to do with your looks? I've got my own guesses but you'd probably know better than I would. :)

 

Her: I would say my sense of honesty and being understanding...I try to be as open minded and accepting of other things as much as possible. You?

 

Me: I'm actually a terrible person with no positive qualities. :) Haha but seriously it's my carefree personality-- I never get stressed out or angry.

 

You seem safe enough. We should meet up-- something simple like coffee or drinks. I'm free on Friday at 8pm and Sunday at 7pm. If you're up for it, let me know if either of those work for you and I'll give you a time and a place.

 

Muggi

 

Her: That's cool, I can't say I never get stressed but it is hard to make me angry like you really have to be trying. Yea sounds good, I'll actually be free Friday so that works

 

Me: Ok cool, there's a Starbucks on xxxxxxx. Let's meet up there on Friday at 8pm. My number's xxxxxx.

 

Her: Yea I know where that is I live in xxxxxx and it's right down the road. Ok then Muggi, my name's xxxxxxx by the way =}

 

Me: Awesome, see you on Friday

 

(24 hours prior to the date)

 

Me: Hey just confirming that we're still on for Starbucks tomorrow night at 8

 

Her: Yes we are

[/hide]

 

So in case you didn't notice, I follow the same system every time. Open them, ask them about their best qualities, confirm they're not a serial killer, pitch the meet. When I pitch the meet, if they're 21+ (legal drinking age in the US) I pitch "coffee or drinks," and if they're under 21 then I just say "coffee or dessert." After I pitch the meet, if they say something along the lines of "I'll have to check my schedule" or "let me get back to you" or "can we just talk some more first" I abandon them and move on unless they give me their phone number and start texting me. At which point I nail down a meet ASAP or else I move on. If a girl isn't making it easy for you to set up a date with her, she probably has no interest in ever meeting up with you.

 

After I schedule the meet I either message them on the dating site or I text them ~24 hours prior to our date to confirm. If the date is scheduled 2+ days away, I try to have a brief text conversation with her between when I scheduled the date and when the date is happening so that she won't forget and/or get cold feet.

If Muggi stops posting it will be this person. He forgot to check serial killer status...

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Ehhhhh

small is fine cause obviously there's no reason to break bank, but flowers/chocolate sounds a little generic. How long have you been together? Any more than 6 months deserves something a bit more heartfelt

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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If shes a flowers/chocolate kinda gal then, sure

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Try to get her something from a local shop or something rather than a big brand box from Wal-Mart?
[Edit] Lang, I expected much greater things from your display name history

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Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Me and my girlfriend had out 13 month anniversary yesterday, and i think this might have been our last too. It was a fun night. We went out for dinner at one of the hotels, went somewhere else for desert and a drink, then went back home to watch a movie and stuff.

This morning when i talked to her she asked me if she could get my facebook password because she wanted to enter a competition. She enters a lot of competitions and always asks me to do the same, and usually i just can't be bothered so i guess she figured she'd just do it for me (which i really have no problem with). I don't really use my facebook at all (think in the past 3 months i've been on it 5 times for a few minutes each time), so i gave her my details. I kind of knew that she didn't just want to go on my facebook for that, so after she got off i asked her about it. Not my exact words, but basically asked her why she didn't trust me, and why she couldn't just be honest about why she wanted my login details. Told her that i felt kind of betrayed, as i haven't done anything thus far to show that i'm not untrustworthy/unfaithful.

She explained to me that some of the things i sometimes say are very sketchy, and that they sometimes make her wonder. She also told me that i have very specific routines (which i do), and when i break them it raises suspicion. She told me that she's kind of felt this way ever since NYE, and i'll explain why.

 

So on NYE we went to a house party for a bit. I met this woman (feel weird calling a 33 year old a girl). She seemed nice, friendly, etc. At the time i didn't realise it, but she was flirting a with me a lot. She told me that she was an Engineer working on the new Airport project, and i mentioned that i was in the final stretch of getting my Airline Pilot's license. She told me to give her my number and she'll try and hook my up with some of the people in the Airline, see if she can help me out a bit, etc. I kind of assumed this was a sincere offer, saw nothing more, so i gave her my number. Two days later i realised that this wasn't actually the reason she wanted my number because she sent me a message on whatsapp saying she felt a strong sexual attraction to me and that if i ever wanted to go over to her house for some fun she'd be happy. Obviously i never told my girlfriend this, but i guess she kind of suspected something like this happened anyway as i avoided talking about this woman as much as i could (and i still do, to be honest). But even still, i never gave my girlfriend any reason to doubt me. She was kind of annoyed at the fact that i didn't just tell this girl to [bleep]-off on the first night, but i figured that if she was actually able to help me out it would be good. Every little bit helps.

 

So anyway back to today... I told her that i wasn't mad, or angry that she didn't trust me but rather just disappointed (or hurt). She told me that this is he way she is with everyone and then i told her that you're not really supposed to treat your boyfriend like you treat everyone else. Maybe i'm being unrealistic about expecting some sort of special treatment? She explained to me that she's been like this for the past 2 years, she doesn't feel like she can trust anyone, etc. I went on to explain to her that i'm not going to pay for someone else's mistakes. Just because someone in her past might have [bleep]er her over, doesn't mean i'm going to do the same thing first chance i get. And i believe i've showed her this over the past 13 months. I've trusted her with a lot of things, and i still do (did until today i guess), and she hasn't shown me the same kind of trust. After i've been the one that's always looked out for her since the day i met her 4 years ago. Since i've always been there for her when she needed someone to talk to (even when we weren't dating). I've never accessed her facebook, i've never gone through her phone, and i've never had the desire to do either. I trust that she's not going to do anything behind my back, and i trust that if she did she would be smart enough not to keep any evidence (i told her this). I told her that this is going to be a major issue one day when i start working. If i have to travel out and spend a night in a different country i can't have her sitting up all night thinking i'm busy cheating on her. I want to be with someone that trusts me enough to lock me up on a room full of horny, sex-deprived supermodels and trust that i wouldn't do anything.

 

So in conclusion i told her that a relationship without trust means nothing. If i'm going to shackle myself to one person (for the rest of my life?) then i want to do so with someone that i can trust, but more importantly someone that shows me the same trust. That i wasn't willing to pay for the mistakes of someone else. That she can't tell people we have complete trust in each other, when she has zero trust in me. I can't be with someone that makes me feel like i have to be so careful about what i say, or breaking my routine because she's going to think i'm either lying to her, or late because i'm busy [bleep]ing someone else. 

 

I didn't tell her that i was going to break up with her, and right now i'm not sure if i am yet. I have major exams coming up (when i eventually manage to get myself a god damn VISA for Greece), so i want to avoid as much drama till then as i can. I know we won't be discussing this topic for at least a few weeks, which is exactly what i need right now. But the way i see it i'm going to give her till the end of my exams and see how things are then. If things have changed, then good. If they haven't... well then there's only one thing to do.

 

It's strange, but every aspect of our relationship is perfect except for this. And although it's probably not the biggest issue, it still is at the same time.

Maybe i'm making a bigger deal out of this than i should? I'm not sure. That's why i'm still kind of unsure how i really feel about all of this. It's kind of like i'm confused about it, but at the same time i really feel like it's not a big deal, yet a part of me feels like it is a big deal (and that i should be a big deal).

 

It actually got me thinking, for the first time in maybe 2 years, that i want to go back to being single for a while and just have some fun. 

 

EDIT: I just kind of realised how ironic this whole situation is. Firstly, about a month ago my friend and his girlfriend had a fight the one night and we were talking about it. I told him that night that relationships are all about who can be the bigger hypocrite and get away with it. I think i just proved my own point. Secondly, and this ties in with the whole trust/hypocrite thing, few months ago i started letting my girlfriend use my car when i didn't need it. I loved my car more than any living thing on earth just because of how much work i put into it. It was also my first German. She knew how much i loved this car and that i would cry if it even got a scratch on it, but i still let her use it because i trusted she would take care of it the same way i would. She wrecked it about a month or two after i started letting her use it. I didn't say anything, i didn't care that the car was now only 1/4th of a German, i was just happy that she got away from it without a scratch. I trusted her even though i didn't want to, and she's not really giving me the same thing in return. Hah...

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One of my closest friends is about to break up with his girlfriend of 5 years for similar reasons. I'll tell you the same thing I told him:

 

You're both acting like completely normal humans and you both are getting upset with each other for not living up to an idealized, unrealistic expectation of how you two "should" behave. This is what a real relationship looks like. If you don't like it, that's nothing to feel bad about. It's completely normal.

 

The question you need to ask yourself is, "If this is what a real relationship looks like, then do I really want a "real" relationship? Or do I want something else? If I want something else, then how can I get it?"

 

 

I also told him that I'm not someone whom he should come to advice for when it comes to monogamous relationship issues, so he should still take my words with a grain of salt. I asked him how many couples he knew of who had a relationship that he wanted. He only named one relationship, and that relationship is less than a year old. SMH. Even my most rational friends can still be idiots sometimes.

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