"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[muggiwhplar]

 

 

i think viewing all women as untrustworthy harpies will prevent you from having children but will also lower the quality of your relationships drastically

 

That's a pessimistic way of viewing it. I view it the same way as putting on my seat belt whilst driving and keeping a spare tire in my trunk. I don't do those things out of distrust; I do it so I'm prepared for the worst in case the shit ever hits the fan.

 

but do you keep a first aid kit and medical casting supplies in your glovebox suspecting that one day your car will smash into a telephone pole and then drive on, pretending it is still intact?

 

 

If you could answer my question without the cynicism, I'd appreciate it:

 

I guess my question for you and rocc0 would be: are there any points that you disagree with in that advice? Would you willingly violate any of the "rules" on the grounds of them being "untrustworthy?" Or do you agree with all of the principles, however you just disagree with the "tone" of the advice?

[obfuscator]

We'll have to disagree on that then-- like I said earlier, I don't think it's really a matter of "assuming that every woman is crazy and manipulative"-- it's more like taking as many precautions as you can on your end such that whether or not the girl you're dating is actually "crazy" becomes irrelevant.

Perhaps it's just BD's POV then. He certainly makes in plain in that post that he assumes every woman is crazy and manipulative...

 

I guess my question for you and rocc0 would be: are there any points that you disagree with in that advice? Would you willingly violate any of the "rules" on the grounds of them being "untrustworthy?" Or do you agree with all of the principles, however you just disagree with the "tone" of the advice?

Well, I'm pro-life, so abortion is absolutely out of the question for me in any situation. Even besides that - I think the attitude of essentially disowning a woman because she decides to keep a child is immature and quite cruel.

 

It seems to me that the best way to avoid pregnancy is not to have sex until you're ready to have a child. Then again, I'm single at the moment so that's easier for me than for other people. And of course, if your expressed objective from your relationships is to have sex without having children then that's not a suitable solution.

[Sir_Squab]

Personally, I think it's more the tone of the advice that's irking. The tone of it paints women as manipulative, lying creatures who are controlled by their hormones and probably don't know what they actually want. Trust goes both ways tho. Imho, someone who get's offended and angry that you won't trust them at their word is, more likely then not, a liar.

 

The part that bugs me is the abortion talk. He thinks it's evil for a woman to have a child against a man's will. Well, it's also pretty evil for a man to coerce a woman into an abortion that she doesn't really want.

 

I do agree that talking about what you'll do if she gets pregnant BEFORE she gets pregnant is a good idea. An angry breakup because they have different views/values on what will happen in the case of a hypothetical child is much, much better then a single mom and an absentee father who may or may not be paying child support he was forced to pay.

[muggiwhplar]

 

We'll have to disagree on that then-- like I said earlier, I don't think it's really a matter of "assuming that every woman is crazy and manipulative"-- it's more like taking as many precautions as you can on your end such that whether or not the girl you're dating is actually "crazy" becomes irrelevant.

Perhaps it's just BD's POV then. He certainly makes in plain in that post that he assumes every woman is crazy and manipulative...

 

I guess my question for you and rocc0 would be: are there any points that you disagree with in that advice? Would you willingly violate any of the "rules" on the grounds of them being "untrustworthy?" Or do you agree with all of the principles, however you just disagree with the "tone" of the advice?

Well, I'm pro-life, so abortion is absolutely out of the question for me in any situation. Even besides that - I think the attitude of essentially disowning a woman because she decides to keep a child is immature and quite cruel.

 

It seems to me that the best way to avoid pregnancy is not to have sex until you're ready to have a child. Then again, I'm single at the moment so that's easier for me than for other people. And of course, if your expressed objective from your relationships is to have sex without having children then that's not a suitable solution.

 

Yeah I understand your point-- like I said, if any of the women that I'm dating were pro-life, I'd probably break up with them. Not because I disagree with their beliefs, but because our beliefs are in direct conflict; and the only way for our beliefs to be in harmony would be for me to "allow" her to have the baby, or for her to abort it. And considering that both options would make one of us unhappy, I would rather just break up with her such that we never have to experience that dilemma in the first place.

 

This kind of goes back to a discussion we had a long time ago, except instead of disagreeing about abortion, we disagreed about the nature of the relationship (poly vs. mono). If a girl is absolutely against poly, then that means I can no longer be with her, as being with her would make one of us unhappy.

 

In other words, there's certain things that will break a relationship. Instead of forcing one partner to "compromise" on these issues (and consequently making that partner less happy), I find it healthier to spend my time with the women who are on the same page with me instead.

 

Hope that makes sense >_>

[obfuscator]

Yeah I understand your point-- like I said, if any of the women that I'm dating were pro-life, I'd probably break up with them. Not because I disagree with their beliefs, but because our beliefs are in direct conflict; and the only way for our beliefs to be in harmony would be for me to "allow" her to have the baby, or for her to abort it. And considering that both options would make one of us unhappy, I would rather just disengage with her such that we never have to experience that dilemma in the first place.

 

Hope that makes sense >_>

Yep. By the same token, I wouldn't date a woman who wasn't pro-life; on the risk that she'd become pregnant and choose to abort my child. You know as well as I do how much legal control a man has over his unborn child...both in terms of acquiring or avoiding an abortion.

[muggiwhplar]

 

 

 

 

i think viewing all women as untrustworthy harpies will prevent you from having children but will also lower the quality of your relationships drastically

 

That's a pessimistic way of viewing it. I view it the same way as putting on my seat belt whilst driving and keeping a spare tire in my trunk. I don't do those things out of distrust; I do it so I'm prepared for the worst in case the shit ever hits the fan.

 

but do you keep a first aid kit and medical casting supplies in your glovebox suspecting that one day your car will smash into a telephone pole and then drive on, pretending it is still intact?

 

 

If you could answer my question without the cynicism, I'd appreciate it:

 

I guess my question for you and rocc0 would be: are there any points that you disagree with in that advice? Would you willingly violate any of the "rules" on the grounds of them being "untrustworthy?" Or do you agree with all of the principles, however you just disagree with the "tone" of the advice?

 

It's not cynicism, I just corrected your analogy so that it captured what was actually in there.

 

See, we have here this bit:

 

[hide]A common tactic of women is to find out they’re pregnant, and not tell the guy for THREE OR FOUR MONTHS, or longer. Then, one day, she “announces” it to him, and says, with mock sadness, “It’s too late to get an abortion now! Oh darn!”. Following rules Four and Five prevent this particular nightmare.[/hide]

 

That's painting with a pretty wide brush, don't you think? To suggest that "women" have some common tactic as if they gather together over their bubbling cauldrons and agreed on a specific stratagem to suck child support money out of unwary men seems not just sexist but also like tinfoil-hat paranoia.

 

Now you could say I'm just disagreeing with the tone of the advice but that tone, it seems to me at least, is informed by deep-seated mistrust of an entire gender.

 

This whole section

 

[hide]Moving away from statistics and into my own experience with women over the last 20 years or so, I have found the following to be generally true:

 

1. Women who say they don’t want kids, or don’t want them yet, do want them. Women who say “I want kids, but eventually, not now!”, if they get pregnant, will happily have the child NOW.

 

2. Women who have only one child want one more (even if they say they don’t). The vast majority of women are biologically “wired” to want TWO children.

 

3. Women with two kids truly would rather not have more kids, but if they get pregnant on accident, they will more often than not have the baby anyway, especially if she’s under 40. The only women who honestly don’t want more kids are women over 40. But even these can surprise you.

 

4. The more kids a woman has, the harder it is for her emotionally to have an abortion. The reverse of this means that a women with no children are the most likely to get an abortion (but, again, don’t rely on this).

 

5. A childless woman’s biological clock really starts ticking at age 28. When a childless woman turns 28, for “some reason” she will “suddenly” want to have kids. There is something magical about age 28 for women in regards to having babies. If you’re having sex with a childless woman aged 28 or older, you are in a severe danger zone. Be aware.

 

6. Childless women in their late 30’s or early 40’s (what few there are) are psychotic, ticking time bombs. These twisted creatures are semen-seeking Tomahawk missiles. Their entire goal in life is to impregnated immediately. AVOID these women like the plague (I do).

 

7. Of course, there are exceptions to all of the above generalizations. But they’re generally true.

 

Bottom line, don’t believe a woman when she says she doesn’t want kids.[/hide]

 

Is nothing more than a pile of anecdotes from some dude who claims to know more about the individual wants of any particular woman than that woman herself. "Their entire goal in life is to [be] impregnated immediately." interesting claim but I'm curious how he came to this conclusion and how he determined that it was "generally true" (nice use of weasel words to justify his ridiculous series of generalizations). And I'm not some tumblr social justice warrior either, in fact I've found enjoyment mocking those sorts of people, but this is just blatant, RedPill-tier "DAE WOMEN EVIL N ONLY WANT BETAS FOR $$$" shit.

 

Anyway, the advice itself is fair, if you cut out just about every word written after the first sentence in each rule. Always use condoms, know your girl's cycle, talk about what you would do about an unplanned pregnancy, etc. that's all well and good. But I could have gotten that from freshman sex-ed without the misogynistic ranting that appears to be an excerpt from some self-stylized Pick-up artist's "How to be ALPHA" guide.

 

 

When you get older you'll probably experience some of the things that BD mentions-- I myself haven't really experienced them myself so believe it or not, I'm more on your/obfuscator's side when it comes to interpreting BD's advice as "misogynistic." But with that said, like I've mentioned in the past, a lot of my perspective on the world of dating and relationships also stems from my 42-year-old brother's experiences with dating. And my brother pretty much agrees with BD wholeheartedly when it comes to the "misogynistic" stuff, as he's much more experienced than I am. In other words, a lot of the stuff that you interpret as misogynistic is a matter of demographics and experience. Assuming that you don't settle down at a very young age, you'll probably find those "generalizations" to be true when you grow older.

 

But I'm glad you agree with the advice itself, rather than the potential "biases" that Blackdragon has. That's all I really care about when it comes to this thread.

[Giordano]

I don't know how you guys read it. I read it fine.

 

Women (men, too) want to have kids when they're ready, but given the opportunity of a unplanned pregnancy they might just keep it ("One day is today", "it's destiny", why not, etc.,)

 

Then a bunch of advice on how to avoid that.

[muggiwhplar]

 

 

I don't know how you guys read it. I read it fine.

 

Women (men, too) want to have kids when they're ready, but given the opportunity of a unplanned pregnancy they might just keep it ("One day is today", "it's destiny", why not, etc.,)

 

Then a bunch of advice on how to avoid that.

"6. Childless women in their late 30’s or early 40’s (what few there are) are psychotic, ticking time bombs. These twisted creatures are semen-seeking Tomahawk missiles. Their entire goal in life is to impregnated immediately. AVOID these women like the plague (I do)."

Not sure if again you're doubting the validity of that statement or simply the tone of it. If you're doubting the validity of it, I don't know why anyone should trust your judgment over his, as AFAIK you have zero experience with that demographic. Regardless, considering nobody ITT is dating a woman in that demographic, I don't see the point in discussing it.

[Sir_Squab]

It's the tone. "Women are biologically geared to want children. Childless women in their late 30's or early 40's (what few there are) have a biological clock screaming at them to get pregnant. Their main goal out of a sexual encounter or partner is to get pregnant. If you want to avoid becoming a father, avoid these women at all costs."

 

Anyone objecting to Blackdragon's statement probably wouldn't object to mine. But does the advice of my statement actually differ in any way from his?

 

There is a scientific principle about humans. I don't remember the name, but basically we view things in black and white. Studies have shown that, all other things being equal, we are more inclined to trust a highly attractive person over a mediocre looking person.

 

Similarly, we are inclined to not trust the advice of blackdragon because he comes across as misogynistic. His tone is one that, quite frankly, I find disgusting and misogynistic. And quite frankly the average human brain is not designed to separate the validity of a statement from the tone of it.

 

Quite frankly, an effective communicator of information will write the information in a way that leaves out his own personal biases.

 

EDIT: rocc0 what do you think of my rephrasing? I'm legitimately curious.

[muggiwhplar]

Read these then, perhaps it will change your perspective.

 

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/06/07/love-women/

 

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2011/05/17/fun-with-logic-ten-reasons-why-im-not-a-misogynist/

 

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/07/21/women-are-not-evil/

 

Anyways. You guys are free to intepret it as you wish, I don't really care. :P Like I said, all I care about is making sure you understand the proper precautions for preventing pregnancies.

[Kalphite]

Has anyone here had any luck with Tinder?

[Giordano]

If you expect the words to be exaggerated and needlessly filler, then you can look past that at get at the core of what anybody's saying.

 

You always have to do that with stuff Muggi links.

[RpgGamer]

Im thinking the "bio clock" ticks at an earlier age now actually

@kalphite: haven't heard anything good, no. I have one because my friends and I were curious what happens when you "like" EVERYONE in your area. The answer is basically nothing.

 

EDIT:

related:

http://imgur.com/gallery/jxFbF

(Tinder)

[Low Levelled]

Has anyone here had any luck with Tinder?

I use it when I'm at school. Roughly 15-20 thousand undergraduate girls there and more of them have a Tinder than I ever imagined. Works well. Too well, almost.

[nine naked men]

i used it for hookups once or twice then stopped because it feels weird using it in a p. small town.

 

like "i just gave your grandma advice on what cat food to buy i can;t do this"

[muggiwhplar]

is her grandma on tinder???

 

if yes, then is she a gilf???

[Major Dash]

 

if yes, then is she a gilf???

 

 

pls no

[Saradomin_Mage]

 

if yes, then is she a gilf???

 

 

pls no

 

at least she won't get pregnant

[Tim]

I left Off Topic for 2 days and it explodes with babies. See the object on my mic in my sig? use it lads. UUUUUSSSEEE IT.

 

EDIT: yay wrong thread.

[Sir_Squab]

As far as preventing pregnancy goes just always assume you want a kid less then the person your with. So take personal responsibility in preventing pregnancy.

is her grandma on tinder???

 

if yes, then is she a gilf???

Muggi's strategy for avoiding unwanted kids. His username: iwanna[bleep]gilfs

[muggiwhplar]

Hell yeah

[Low Levelled]

Someone needs to have an interesting relationship experience, dammit. Preferably a bad one, but I'll take some good news if necessary.

[muggiwhplar]

I had a twosome on Friday night and Saturday morning.

 

>_>

[Boris5000]

I had a twosome on Friday night and Saturday morning.

 

>_>

Was it necessary to specify that it was a twosome?

[Estonian dude]

Ain't getting any news from me, I am up in the North (Norway), 20 miles from nearest habitation with no car. Even Tinder can't help me here, seen a few people and all at least 50 miles away. Needless to say, kinda difficult to see anyone.