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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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She's bringing it up already and you're not even in a relationship yet, I think she's serious. You don't joke about spending the next 20 years of your life raising little shits.

some people do actually like kids

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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some people do actually like kids

 

 

The part where he says he's worried makes me think boris is not interested in kids right now. Pro detective skills at work here

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some people do actually like kids

 

 

The part where he says he's worried makes me think boris is not interested in kids right now. Pro detective skills at work here

 

You are the next sherlock. I want to make sure I can provide for my offspring before I spawn some, yaknow. So it isn't in my plans for the next 10 years.

Luck be a Lady

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She's bringing it up already and you're not even in a relationship yet, I think she's serious. You don't joke about spending the next 20 years of your life raising little shits.

some people do actually like kids

 

 

But most of those people are kids. 


"Imagine yourself surrounded by the most horrible cripples and maniacs it is possible to conceive, and you may understand a little of my feelings with these grotesque caricatures of humanity about me."

- H.G. Wells, The Island of Doctor Moreau

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She's bringing it up already and you're not even in a relationship yet, I think she's serious. You don't joke about spending the next 20 years of your life raising little shits.

some people do actually like kids

 

 

But most of those people are kids.

 

uhh okay

 

 

 

She's bringing it up already and you're not even in a relationship yet, I think she's serious. You don't joke about spending the next 20 years of your life raising little shits.

some people do actually like kids

 

that was directed at you calling kids "little shits"

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Hi TIF!

 

Here to ask a question that has been asked before and I'm relatively certain the answer I will receive, but going to do it anyway.

 

How does one tell when a girl likes them? Any specifics to consider?

 

Thanks

 

P.S. If I know this thread, and specifically Muggi, I will probably get a response saying just ask her out and you will find out quickly. Only issue here is that I tend to be a bit of a [kitty] when it comes to girls.

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Hi TIF!

 

Here to ask a question that has been asked before and I'm relatively certain the answer I will receive, but going to do it anyway.

 

How does one tell when a girl likes them? Any specifics to consider?

 

Thanks

 

P.S. If I know this thread, and specifically Muggi, I will probably get a response saying just ask her out and you will find out quickly. Only issue here is that I tend to be a bit of a [kitty] when it comes to girls.

Guess what? You're going to have to stop being a [kitty] to have a successful relationship. There's no magical way to tell a girl you like them that allows you to be successful while being afraid.

 

Ain't nothing to it but to do it.

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Why are you a [kitty]? Are you unconfident about your image? Then lose weight, build muscle, get a good haircut, and wear clothes that fit. Are you just inexperienced? Practice while the stakes are still low.

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Why are you a [kitty]? Are you unconfident about your image? Then lose weight, build muscle, get a good haircut, and wear clothes that fit. Are you just inexperienced? Practice while the stakes are still low.

To be fair I'm pretty sure he's like 16. Most teenage boys are a little nervous around girls which is totally normal.

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Roll a D20. If you get 19+ you are gucci.

 

Thanks Boris, I'd do that but I'm short on dice right now.

 

Hi TIF!

 

Here to ask a question that has been asked before and I'm relatively certain the answer I will receive, but going to do it anyway.

 

How does one tell when a girl likes them? Any specifics to consider?

 

Thanks

 

P.S. If I know this thread, and specifically Muggi, I will probably get a response saying just ask her out and you will find out quickly. Only issue here is that I tend to be a bit of a [kitty] when it comes to girls.

Guess what? You're going to have to stop being a [kitty] to have a successful relationship. There's no magical way to tell a girl you like them that allows you to be successful while being afraid.

 

Ain't nothing to it but to do it.

 

Thanks Obfu.

 

Why are you a [kitty]? Are you unconfident about your image? Then lose weight, build muscle, get a good haircut, and wear clothes that fit. Are you just inexperienced? Practice while the stakes are still low.

Thanks to you Hedgehog. Your question has caused me to think a little and helped me out a little.

 

And yeah, it is the inexperience/general nervousness. 17 and highschool, ya know?

 

Honestly, at this point the biggest lie I tell myself to make me feel better is that I sit beside/have to endure with these people in classes and therefore don't want to make things awkward by following through with such an action.

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Well I could write a book on this topic but it'd be a lot easier to give you practical advice if you're willing to share specifically what you're afraid of like Hedgehog said.

 

A little while ago I started to write a post about this but I scrapped it and saved it on my computer instead. I'll just copy and paste it here now that it's relevant:

 

 

I'm currently entertaining the idea that one of the reasons why people don't naturally gravitate towards sales and seduction is because of empathy. In the past I never considered that empathy could cause long-term unhappiness, but now that I think about it, I think it most certainly can.

 

I remember what it was like to fear touching girls on my dates. I was partially afraid of rejection, but I think the thing I was most afraid of was discomfort, awkwardness, and tension. Making a move automatically generates these feelings between two people, even moreso if you're already uncomfortable. Not only was I unsure if I could endure these negative feelings, but for some reason, it was even more painful to think about making the person sitting next to me experience them as well. I felt guilty making women feel uncomfortable.

 

Similarly, in sales, for the first month I was awful at it because I was afraid to try and close the sale. I was afraid of offending people or making them feel uncomfortable about having to make a decision. I didn’t want to put that burden on them. I wanted them to be comfortable. That’s why I never made any sales unless the client came to me first to place an order.

 

It wasn’t until I realized that that discomfort is a “necessary evil” that my sales career took off. Same goes for dating.

 

Interestingly, after my sales career took off, the more systematic, efficient, and successful I became at sales, the less empathetic I became (in a good way; my empathy went from "too high" to "moderate"). While I never “hurt” anyone, I definitely made countless people feel mildly uncomfortable over time. Such is the nature of sales. But at the cost of some mild, temporary discomfort, I was happy with my career success and I accumulated tons of happy clients-- clients which I never would've had if I had avoided closing the deal with them out of discomfort. Occasionally I'd get an unsatisfied customer and that would make me feel bad, however when you put things into perspective, you're never going to have a 100.0% mutual satisfaction rate with people. As long as the people whom I made less happy are in a teeny tiny minority, then there was no point in beating myself up over them. Similarly, I never intended to hurt them. It was an accident. I forgave myself and moved on. And they move on too pretty quickly.

 

It wasn't really until my mentality shifted to: "If this makes them uncomfortable, that sucks, but it's not a big deal because we'll both get over it and forget about it very quickly” that I was able to reach the next level.

Since then I can’t really think of a time where I regret trying to make a move or trying to close the sale. This suggests that either there has never been a time where it was in poor judgment to touch or close the sale; or that bad things have happened over the years, however they aren’t bad enough for me to remember them, which suggests that in the grand scheme of things, these "bad" things really weren't that bad after all.

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Roll a D20. If you get 19+ you are gucci.

Thanks Boris, I'd do that but I'm short on dice right now.

 

Hi TIF!

 

Here to ask a question that has been asked before and I'm relatively certain the answer I will receive, but going to do it anyway.

 

How does one tell when a girl likes them? Any specifics to consider?

 

Thanks

 

P.S. If I know this thread, and specifically Muggi, I will probably get a response saying just ask her out and you will find out quickly. Only issue here is that I tend to be a bit of a [kitty] when it comes to girls.

Guess what? You're going to have to stop being a [kitty] to have a successful relationship. There's no magical way to tell a girl you like them that allows you to be successful while being afraid.

 

Ain't nothing to it but to do it.

Thanks Obfu.

Why are you a [kitty]? Are you unconfident about your image? Then lose weight, build muscle, get a good haircut, and wear clothes that fit. Are you just inexperienced? Practice while the stakes are still low.

Thanks to you Hedgehog. Your question has caused me to think a little and helped me out a little.

 

And yeah, it is the inexperience/general nervousness. 17 and highschool, ya know?

 

Honestly, at this point the biggest lie I tell myself to make me feel better is that I sit beside/have to endure with these people in classes and therefore don't want to make things awkward by following through with such an action.

You can worry about it being awkward when it's awkward
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Wow,  Muggi's post actually touched on my concerns more or less perfectly. Along with Hedge's short post there. I suppose I should attempt to 'man up' and take some action.

 

Going to have to exit my nice a freaking soft comfort zone at some point...

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If she pulls your hair or licks your elbow - youre in!

 

But really, high school girls are just as clueless as high school boys so by asking for advice youre already at an advantage. In essence, flirting with her and ask in her out is the best way to tell if she likes you. Other ways may include noticing how she talks to you verse other guys

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

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Wow, Muggi's post actually touched on my concerns more or less perfectly. Along with Hedge's short post there. I suppose I should attempt to 'man up' and take some action.

 

Going to have to exit my nice a freaking soft comfort zone at some point...

The first time I tried holding a girl's hand on a date, when I reached for her hand I spilled her beer. But she didn't let go of my hand and told me how much she wanted to hang out again after the date. Girls have empathy too. They know it's scary to make a move. If they see that you're nervous, that's only a deal-breaker if you allow your nerves to tell her that you're afraid of making a move. If a girl sees that you're afraid, but still move forward despite the fear, then I think that actually makes you more attractive than the guy who doesn't experience fear.

 

Or think of it this way: if you're in her shoes and you're nervous on a date with a guy that you kinda like, would you rather have him expect you to make the move, or would you rather have him make the move so you don't have to?

 

 

 

With sales, I learned the same lesson again the hard way. A month into my job, I'd made less than 10 sales. My coworkers averaged 30 sales that month. I was about to get fired and give up on being a salesman. So I kicked it into overdrive and instead of working 40 hours a week, I'd be out for 70 hours a week trying to sell. Still no luck. The only time I got a sale was basically when the client came to me first and demanded that I help them since they already had made up their mind. In other words, I had no control over my sales... until this one client.

 

I laid everything out on the table for one client, giving what I thought was my best sales presentation to date. After my presentation, the client carefully considered his options, even flat out admitting how my offer was much better than what he currently has. He was a smart guy, I was happy to finally get a client with enough brains to recognize a good deal when he saw it. I didn't want to scare him away by trying to close the sale since I knew he was interested, so I just waited for him to ask for the paperwork. The sale was in the bag, after all. He'd have to be an idiot not to accept my offer.

 

But instead of asking for the paperwork he said, "Well thanks for sharing this with me, but I think I'll stick with what I've got."

 

I can count on one hand the number of times I've felt livid in my life. This was one of them. It was a slap in the face. I did everything "right" I thought. I respected his emotions and didn't push the sale... and that got me nothing. And he ended up worse off because he didn't choose the better deal. We both lost because I was afraid of making him uncomfortable. I went home early that day, absolutely furious. The next morning when I woke up, I was still furious. I never wanted to feel the way that client made me feel again. So that day I attempted to close every single client I met. Instead of feeling uncomfortable when it came time to close the deal, I felt nothing. My empathy was temporarily burnt out. I would watch clients squirm and make up all kinds of excuses and objections when I tried to make the sale and their discomfort no longer bothered me. It only told me that I was wasting my time with someone who's not uninterested and I'd quickly move on to the next one. And suddenly, like magic, I started making sales. I got more sales in the following week than I'd gotten in all of my previous weeks combined and was promoted right away... and my clients loved me for it.

 

 

Life shouldn't punish people for being too empathetic. But it does. :)

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Hows your social group look like? Thats the most important thing in high school, and at least in my experience the girls in your group and the friends of friends are who you reasonably have a chance with.

 

edit: also something I remember from high shool was people stereotype hard and your style really plays a part with who you get to know. I'd say choose a style who's stereotypes fit your personality. 

Hahahaha..... Social group is relatively small/non-existent. I'm not sure if you would get what I say when I'm a floater. I can hang out with the smart kids and fit in, I can hang out with the 'cool(ish)' kids and fit in, etc... I'm not really overly pushed into a corner on this front because I can make a spot for myself when needed, and am perfectly fine being on my own if I need to. Although any of the people I am currently interested in fit into a closer social group and I'm generally on speaking terms. Not sure if I would call them 'friends' though.

 

Not sure about this one. I can be really introspective as to how I act by times and what my personality can be like but when it comes to outward style and stereotype I am really and truly clueless.

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TBH high school students shouldn't worry too much about dating just yet. Yes it's important, but high school is literally the worst time for dating. You can't use online dating till you're 18, you can't legally drink yet or go out to the bars, and you still live with your parents. The only way to meet girls is through daygame or through your social circle. It's a good time to focus on developing your inner game since your dating options are so restricted.

 

With that said, I really wish I'd discovered Brent Smith sooner. I remember during winter break one year in college, when I was alone for a month waiting for classes to start up again and for my roommates to move back, I played RuneScape all day every day while listening to Brent Smith. When school started back up, suddenly I started getting sooooo much attention and compliments from girls that I'd never gotten before. Just because I'd been listening to Brent Smith and internalizing his mindset. HUGE game changer and massive boost to your inner game. Spend as much time as you can just listening to that stuff. Listen to it while you play video games or do homework or walk between classes and stuff. It'll work wonders on your beliefs towards women and how women view you :thumbup:

 

More Brent Smith stuff I've got bookmarked:

Vokle | Brent Smith LIVE! (1)

Vokle | Brent Smith LIVE! (2)

 

Sadly he hid a lot of his old videos which was his best stuff so the only way you can see them is via that playlist link in this post.

 

Anyways, if you actually make it a habit to listen to all of his stuff as much as you can, you'll find yourself magically getting way more comfortable in your own skin around women, which is very attractive to them :) I remember asking some of my female friends if they thought I'd changed. They all more or less said "You're definitely a lot more confident than you used to be." or "You just don't seem to give a shit about what others think about you-- and that's a quality that a lot of people wish they had, it's very attractive"

 

Blackdragon and Brent Smith are definitely my biggest "guru" influences when it comes to my dating life. Which is funny since they're both kind of polar opposites of each other. Sometimes you just have to completely emulate one person to learn all the pros/cons of such an attitude and then you can start to fine-tune things to be more in sync with your natural personality and find out what works best for you and what doesn't.

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