I was under the impression that you're not asexual
I'm not. I just don't prioritize sex in relationships over other things.
Sex/sexual attraction is like 4th if I'm being honest. Yes, it's important, but I literally wouldn't go past the first date if I find the other things aren't there.
The three things I value above sex (not in any order): political/social/moral/religious views aligned; we have some shared hobbies; intelligence and ambition.
There's only one person I dated that hit all four, but he didn't feel the same. And that's been nagging at me for a year now.
and that you were getting frustrated at your lack of sex/intimacy with women.
1. I'm frustrated about my lack of success with either gender. I've been on dates with women (60/40 men/women generally), but it's really been no different than my dates with men.
2. I'm frustrated that I'm not masculine or androgynous. (This is sort of related). I hate how I look but my desired image (120 lbs scrawny effeminate person) is unhealthy, and I hate the idea of looking masculine. But objectively I look better when I present masculine which I hate.
3. Your description is wrong and makes me sound like I'm an incel.