"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[IGoddessI 0]

bolded text, she just asked out of the blue. first thing she said. And ignoring her isn't really a viable option, I have 3/8 classes with her, and she's good friends with my best friend chris. So avoiding will be rather hard.

 

 

 

P.S. What about Chris? How should I react to what HE did?

 

 

 

Even though you have classes with her if you don't want to talk to her then don't lol just be civil if she speaks with you but don't go out of your way. For example this female I'm talking about speaks with me, if I think what she says is overly exaggerated or dramatic [cabbage] I just reply with a "mmhmm" change the subject or don't bother giving it a response as it doesn't necessarily deserve one. This female is the girlfriend of my good friend - I can be friends with my friend without getting involved with her. I simply talk to him and don't bother going out of my way to speak with her. Suits me well actually. I'm not a fan of those who attempt to tell me what's best for my child and their behaviour when I have more experience than them on an educational level as well as experience level. I'm also not a fan of people who go through my bedroom when I'm not in the house (how rude). I really don't like her and think if we went head on she'd get a really rude shock. I'm polite when I need to be but I only let a person get away with so much before I become assertive and put an end to it. She'd come off second best. As for Chris, weigh up if he is worth being friends with still, if he is now you know not to say things to him because he blabs. If you want to confront him, confront him and say something like "Dude... what I told you was in confidence and you blew my trust. I'm glad we're friends but I probably won't trust you as much anymore sorry." to this girl: Don't justify yourself to her. If you bring out the whole story of how you told him and he blew your trust then the cycle will continue and then your friend will come up to you and say "why did you say this about me? why didn't you tell me instead?" It's not worth it. Seriously, I know it's great to be accepted and all by others but some people aren't worthy of making the effort for :P I'll probably end up losing my friendship with this person because of this female (her jealousy issues, attempting to +1 to make her feel she is better than me) there is only a matter of time before she tries to cut off the friendship I can smell it :P I don't think it will last anyway - too emotionally immature/insecure.

[Panzerlord 0]

omg, I'm really paranoid right now. My dad was grilling steaks for dinner in the back yard, and he asked me to go check how they were doing. When I went outside, I kept on doing double takes. I thought I was being watched by coco, ready to destroy me for what I said

 

 

 

Jesus, I've gone insane :lol:

[Lenticular_J 0]

Okay...So I'm in 7th grade, and as some of you may know, most of the conversations take place over texting for us lovely seventh graders...But, heres an example of my conversations with most girls...

 

 

 

 

 

"Sup"

 

"Nothing just chilling, you?"

 

"Nothing"

 

....Nothing else from there, and theres this one eighth grader I really would not mind having more to say to, it just seems like none of my usual smoothness with girls is working, any help here people? :ohnoes:

 

Say something interesting. Maybe "helping my friends with their bmx video" is my favorite catcher. Catches attention. Or something completely ridiculous, although not crazy, like "rock climbing". 8th grade girls have really short attention spans, which can be good and bad. Easy to grab it, but it's not at all like a butterfly. It's like a very heavy rock. You have to hold on as tight as you [bleep]ing can. This can apply to girls even into college, although it will wear off gradually.

 

 

 

Remember: It's not lying, it's flirting. Or, you could start doing interesting stuff and you won't have to lie. I, for example, started climbing school roofs recently. Fun with friends, great way to grab a girl's attention.

[Embrace 0]

I'm going to try the rock-climbing one..I will get back to you on how it goes... :D

[Iamdan 3]

[problems]

 

Try being friends with uglier girls as a start

 

 

 

The thing is, she isn't even that great looking. She isn't ugly, maybe a 7. I guess I'm just going to have to wait it out.

[Omar 137]

"Sup"

 

"Nothing just chilling, you?"

 

"Nothing"

 

 

You said just chilling, that pretty much killed it.

 

I have a friend that says "So!" every time a conversation comes to a mild stop, and it completely kills it. I don't think she realizes. :P

[noble_aloof 0]

"Sup"

 

"Nothing just chilling, you?"

 

"Nothing"

 

 

You said just chilling, that pretty much killed it.

 

I have a friend that says "So!" every time a conversation comes to a mild stop, and it completely kills it. I don't think she realizes. :P

 

 

 

i hate girls who say "sooo...."

 

and expect the male to carry on the entire conversation. basically my response is

 

"so, what?"

 

"idk your not saying anything"

 

"maybe if i didn't already say everything i could possibly use to keep your attention i would actually still be able to have a conversation with you"

 

"so....."

[Kiriyama 0]

"Sup"

 

"Nothing just chilling, you?"

 

"Nothing"

 

 

You said just chilling, that pretty much killed it.

 

I have a friend that says "So!" every time a conversation comes to a mild stop, and it completely kills it. I don't think she realizes. :P

 

 

 

i hate girls who say "sooo...."

 

and expect the male to carry on the entire conversation. basically my response is

 

"so, what?"

 

 

 

Haha that reminds me of awhile back. Pretty funny that it happens actually.

 

 

 

But now, I guess talking to her seems more natural since I know her better now.

[RpgGamer 1089]

texting rarely conveys personality traits, so maybe that's why your usual smoothness isn't working

 

AIM is much more personal, b/c in terms of speed, comp > fone

 

8-) just sayin'

 

 

 

+1.

 

 

 

Especially if you have Boost. No joke. It sucks terribly because they do texting the old-fashioned way. I've actually missed a shot at a girl before because it's so dang slow.

 

 

 

Couldn't agree less. Here's my chart.

 

 

 

Face to Face > Call > IM > Txt

 

 

 

I'm sure the people your talking to will apreciate the fact that you took the time to tell them with your voice what you want to say and not just some typed up letters. This is all opinion of course. As brought up a few posts prior most IM conversations go as follows:

 

 

 

"Sup?"

 

"nm, just chillin, u?"

 

"Nothing..."

 

"..."

 

"so..."

 

 

 

most txting from my experience is no different...just slower. Calling is much more personal, but I find the lack of body language tough to deal with. I like looking people right in the eye when I speak with them. Calling is really only used to plan things and for me usually don't exceed 10 minutes. However personal meetings can last hours on end. I admit IM and such is a good tool to have when all else fails, but...nothing beats personal contact.

[Embrace 0]

Well, heres the problem, me and my friend are chilling this friday, and we are both 7th graders, and all 7th grade chicks are well..Not as pretty as 8th grade girls, lets put it that way, and me and my friend want to hang out with these two eight graders in particular. So, I texted her a while back and asked her what she was doing this Friday, if she answers nothing, should I just text her and go, Hey you wanna go to the movies this Friday, and also, should I specifically point out that this is not a date(Wouldn't mind if it was), or like just let it slide, cause she might be a bit freaked if I ask her out as a 7th grader... #-o

 

 

 

 

 

Help!

[RpgGamer 1089]

Well, heres the problem, me and my friend are chilling this friday, and we are both 7th graders, and all 7th grade chicks are well..Not as pretty as 8th grade girls, lets put it that way, and me and my friend want to hang out with these two eight graders in particular. So, I texted her a while back and asked her what she was doing this Friday, if she answers nothing, should I just text her and go, Hey you wanna go to the movies this Friday, and also, should I specifically point out that this is not a date(Wouldn't mind if it was), or like just let it slide, cause she might be a bit freaked if I ask her out as a 7th grader... #-o

 

 

 

 

 

Help!

 

 

 

Don't say it's not a date if you want it to be. You'll find yourself frequently not getting what you want if you continue this habit. If you want to go out with her then text her (despite my previous rant) something along the lines of:

 

"since your not soing anything, want to go see (x) movie?"

 

Feel free to paraphrase. If she asks if it's a friend thing or a date thing play it coy with a

 

"We'll see how it goes"

 

if she demands a friends only thing, don't press her. You may just have to deal with it. The best way to avoid that kind of comment is to prevent it. Thats where IamDan can help you more than I can, what with his attraction based advice.

[noble_aloof 0]

Well, heres the problem, me and my friend are chilling this friday, and we are both 7th graders, and all 7th grade chicks are well..Not as pretty as 8th grade girls, lets put it that way, and me and my friend want to hang out with these two eight graders in particular. So, I texted her a while back and asked her what she was doing this Friday, if she answers nothing, should I just text her and go, Hey you wanna go to the movies this Friday, and also, should I specifically point out that this is not a date(Wouldn't mind if it was), or like just let it slide, cause she might be a bit freaked if I ask her out as a 7th grader... #-o

 

 

 

 

 

Help!

 

 

 

you've already hung out with her. basically you can make it seem like a regular get together if you invite both of them with you and your friend. so that way it will be comfortable, but at the same time. if you two realize you like each other- you'll be in the movies. (hopefully watching angels and demons)

[Lenticular_J 0]

Don't do movies. Teach her to ice skate. Or roller-ride.

[Iamdan 3]

 

Don't say it's not a date if you want it to be. You'll find yourself frequently not getting what you want if you continue this habit. If you want to go out with her then text her (despite my previous rant) something along the lines of:

 

"since your not soing anything, want to go see (x) movie?"

 

Feel free to paraphrase. If she asks if it's a friend thing or a date thing play it coy with a

 

"We'll see how it goes"

 

if she demands a friends only thing, don't press her. You may just have to deal with it. The best way to avoid that kind of comment is to prevent it. Thats where IamDan can help you more than I can, what with his attraction based advice.

 

 

 

ehh, sounds too needy imo

 

 

 

As I said a few pages back, I've found the best way to go on a 'date' is to mention something cool you're doing halfway through the conversation, and tell her she can tag along towards the end of it.

 

 

 

Not trying to undermine you or anything rpg but here's my analysis of that invitation:

 

 

 

"Since you're not doing anything, want to see a movie?" - Well you aren't doing anything, so since you have nothing better to do you can go out with me if you want. Please?

 

 

 

You should be doing her a favor by letting her join you. There is nothing else she could do that would be more fun than hang with you, and you're doing that thing anyway so it doesn't effect your plans if she comes or not. That way it's more confident and alpha at your end, and less commitment on her end. If she decides she doesn't want to go after saying yes, it's much easier since you are going anyway. That way she won't say no as a 'fail safe' in case she changes her mind later.

 

 

 

Also as I said earlier, movies are a bad idea. Best doing something original, and something where you don't sit in the dark not talking to each other for an hour or 2.

 

 

 

"noble_aloof"]

 

i hate girls who say "sooo...."

 

and expect the male to carry on the entire conversation. basically my response is

 

"so, what?"

 

"idk your not saying anything"

 

"maybe if i didn't already say everything i could possibly use to keep your attention i would actually still be able to have a conversation with you"

 

"so....."

 

 

 

That's actually an indicator of interest in a lot of situations. If the conversation stops, she can easily just leave but she's trying to rekindle it. Sometimes I stop the conversation deliberately to see if she does it.

[Cacmypants 1]

Movies are definitly not first date material, there isn't enough interaction/conversation. They're fine once you know each other well.

 

 

 

See... you might take her to see a good movie, then that tricks her into believeing that she enjoys herself in your company (but you diddn't do much in that date, you let the movie do all the work), she might agree to a second date... it will probably be your last with her.

 

 

 

Also, it's a bad idea to think that the dark atmosphere of a theater is an excuse to start molesting her (by which I mean wondering fingers), it doesn't send the right message especially if it's a FIRST date. You're basically saying: "I WANT A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP, F*UCK ROMANCE" (lol, pun)

 

 

 

A girl doesn't want a guy who's just horny all the time wanting to get into her pants... well I guess it depends on the girl...

[Roseiah 0]

Movies are definetly not a good idea for a first date. If a boy invites me to a movie if I don't know him that well I know from experience it usually gets awkward. My usual response is, if I actually want to go with him I say "Well, I was actually planning on going to the movies with my friends that day, but hey why don't you invite some of your friends and we can all go together". Then we can all go together and you can learn so much about a guy when he is around you and your friends. For example, if he still sits next to you in the cinema he likes you and wants to spend time with you and is comfortable trying to get to know you. There have been times when a guy has asked me out and then been too nervous to sit next to me in front of his friends. Seeing how a guy acts around me even in front of my friends and his is a great way to see if a relationship is going to work. Overall, the cinema isn't a good date to go, but if you are really stuck for ideas a meal beforehand, or even asking other people to go with you to reduce the awkwardness can work.

 

 

 

To me the best date to go on is an actual activity. Boys can take me shopping, for a meal, you know the everyday stuff that I have done a million times with my friends aren't really interesting. My favourite place to be taken is the ice rink. It's fun, you actually have a laugh and also you actually talk to the boy. Going on a date where I can have a long and interesting conversation with someone while doing something fun is my perfect idea of a date.

 

 

 

By the way, I would just like to say, girls are actually the same species as boys, and we do have the same fears as boys when it comes to relationships. The best way for either sex to have a relationship is to just be yourself. If you make yourself out to be someone your not at the start of a relationship then it is doomed to fail. Also, if you feel to shy to talk to a girl, just saying Hi when you walk past her can work wonders, because yes, us girls can actually talk and we can and do make the first move in a relationship.

 

 

 

To Panzer- If you had said those things about me you would of gotten a slap. It was a mean thing to say about anyone. So now you have to face up to your responsibility and say sorry for being such a jerk. How do you know Coco is saying things about her family just to say she is better than everyone else. It was an interesting fact that she mentioned. And even if she is one of those people, you are one of those people who if they don't like someone makes a song and dance about it and turns into an idiot. In this case you were being mean about someone else behind their back and then when confronted you ran away. Though I think you would be lucky for her to hit you and walk away and never talk to you again.

[tintin113 19]

I have to agree with the above, movies really aren't the way forward with a first "date" type thing, even if it isn't really a date or w/e it is you want to call it. :P

 

I tried going to the movies for a first date once, was really kind of awkward and we had a way better time just talking afterwards.

 

 

 

If it's the first time you're going out with her, you have to get to know her, so you have to do something where you can talk, the whole time. Best idea is just to "hang out" in town or whatever place it is that's large enough for you to wander around, perhaps buy something, look in shops or whatever. Just make it relaxed and make sure you keep the conversation going. If you get on well then it'll be fun and really easy to talk, and it'll become quite obvious fairly quickly if you're not clicking. If that's the case then as this is a "date but not really but kinda don't want it to be but do but also friends? but special perhaps or not" type of thing then you really don't have to worry too much if it goes "wrong". ;)

 

 

 

Also don't be afraid to have yours and her mate(s) with you if you want. I mean if you are thinking of going out with her then you gotta be friends with her friends right? :D

 

 

 

I would say Ice Rink too like Rain07, but I don't know how to skate so I have no experience of how that goes. :lol: (I'm guessing you probably have to make sure that they can skate before going too, don't want to be skating circles round them while they're falling all over the place feeling embaressed.) :P

 

 

 

EDIT:

 

 

 

 

 

i hate girls who say "sooo...."

 

and expect the male to carry on the entire conversation. basically my response is

 

"so, what?"

 

"idk your not saying anything"

 

"maybe if i didn't already say everything i could possibly use to keep your attention i would actually still be able to have a conversation with you"

 

"so....."

 

 

 

That's actually an indicator of interest in a lot of situations. If the conversation stops, she can easily just leave but she's trying to rekindle it. Sometimes I stop the conversation deliberately to see if she does it.

 

 

 

^^ True. There are quite a few situations where they'll use that to try and change topic, either to something more "what you doin' later?" [yes that would be interest] or just trying to move on from something you just said that was plain weird/awkward/conversation killy. You HAVE to know the difference between the two. :D

[Iamdan 3]

 

Also, it's a bad idea to think that the dark atmosphere of a theater is an excuse to start molesting her (by which I mean wondering fingers), it doesn't send the right message especially if it's a FIRST date. You're basically saying: "I WANT A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP, F*UCK ROMANCE" (lol, pun)

 

 

 

A girl doesn't want a guy who's just horny all the time wanting to get into her pants... well I guess it depends on the girl...

 

 

 

On that note I've never understood the reasoning behind hooking up in the movies. I don't know what it is about the sticky floors, ringing phones, greasy smells and the waste of $10 that seem to turn people on :roll:

 

 

 

I should mention it's important to touch or you will end up in the friends column. Touching builds comfort with a person, and the higher levels will get you both used to the idea of intimacy with each other.

 

 

 

Goddess would know a lot more about this than I do, she can correct me/add to this if she wants to. Here's a basic view of what I know:

 

 

 

There are levels of touching, think of them as gears in a car. It's easiest to go from gear 1 to 2 to 3 etc. Starting at 2 or higher is possible but harder. Skipping a gear is possible but harder. If you unsuccessfully skip gears you can wreck the gearbox. Once you've reached a gear, you've 'unlocked' all lower gears.

 

 

 

The levels go somewhat like this:

 

 

 

[hide=]Handshake, shoulder brush

 

 

 

Holding hands, walking arm in arm

 

 

 

Sitting close together so your legs touch, touching her back

 

 

 

Hugging, walking with your hand on her lower back, hand on thigh. (not inner thigh)

 

 

 

Touching face and neck. Things like brushing her neck when you look at her necklace, brushing something off her face etc.

 

 

 

Her head on your shoulder, smelling hair/neck, running fingers through hair.

 

 

 

It goes further but I'll keep it clean.[/hide]

[Lenticular_J 0]

Haha movie theaters. I avoid "going to the movies" with most of my friends now. It's excuses for them and their "girlfriends" to [bleep] in the back. I don't get it. I guess because they can't drive and there's nowhere else to go, but it's still hilarious.

[RayOxide 0]

i hate girls who say "sooo...."

 

and expect the male to carry on the entire conversation. basically my response is

 

"so, what?"

 

 

 

Are you single?

[tintin113 19]

i hate girls who say "sooo...."

 

and expect the male to carry on the entire conversation. basically my response is

 

"so, what?"

 

 

 

Are you single?

 

 

 

:twss: =D> :lol:

[noble_aloof 0]

i hate girls who say "sooo...."

 

and expect the male to carry on the entire conversation. basically my response is

 

"so, what?"

 

 

 

Are you single?

 

yep. don't see the humor here. i guess my school works a bit differently than as some of the people here have mentioned. i wish it was a bit better than this, but this is how things work we do two things with girls:

 

 

 

1. go to the movies

 

2. go to ______'s house to party

 

 

 

we don't take girls to the ice cream parlor, we don't take them roller skating, although i have invited girls skiing, that is besides the point (it always turns into a GNO). everything goes down at one of two places.

 

 

 

call my school dumb? sure. i can't say i agree with it. all girls are looking for is a hookup, they've realized that some of the 'hotter' guys in my grade are scared of relationships, and thus the 'swing' of the grade has changed.

 

 

 

you take a girl to the movies or meet up with her at a party, you hook up. period.

 

the day after, the girl writes a note to all her friends, and texts all her friends about it, in detail.

 

rumors are started by jealous people.

 

if the guy has enough balls to go further or continue with this girl, he will hook up again

 

same thing happens the day after

 

at this point, the rumor usually starts that the girl or guy has an STD or something horrible like that

 

theres about a 2% chance that they will officially become a couple after the second hook-up

 

if they do, everyone assumes that they are [bleep]ing and continues to make up rumors.

 

 

 

relationships as a freshman are not worth it, as some rumors were started about me before i figured it out. it's childish, really.

 

 

 

yeah my grade basically sucks. i mean, there are few guys who actually enjoy this kind of emotionless/high profile stuff. now that i realize it our 9th grade class revolves around the girls. :shock: :ohnoes: #-o :twisted:

[Embrace 0]

So yeah...That girl I was talking about, apparently shes going to be in Virginia, but I did end up telling her that I liked her, and I asked her if she liked me, and all she said was "Sorry"...Honestly, the first time I've been rejected, and it [bleep]ing sucks...

[redhaloguy 0]

I somehow enjoy the movies, as I am a movie addict, if I know she can't sit still for a couple hours, It won't work. Reading all this though made me change plans for future movie dates.

[Kiriyama 0]

I somehow enjoy the movies, as I am a movie addict, if I know she can't sit still for a couple hours, It won't work. Reading all this though made me change plans for future movie dates.

 

 

 

Yeah, seeing a movie can be enjoyable, but its always struck me as something that is done with mates.