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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios
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And besides that, being a "wussbag" makes the females the stronger gender. No offense, but men are supposed to be the leaders. That's just how things are and have always been.

That last bit is true enough, but it doesn't have to be. Men are not "supposed" to be the leaders. Men should feel free not to be the leaders, and women should feel free to be the leaders. There's no such thing as a "stronger" gender. Gender is, for the most part, socially constructed and the only reason people still conform to it is that most people are most comfortable with what is seen as the path of least resistance.

 

Basically, who cares who's the stronger gender, whether it be men or women?

Gender definitely is not a socially constructed concept. That thing between my legs did not come around because of some social breakthrough. Men are supposed to be the leaders, for thousands of years it's been that way and changing human nature and thousands of years of history is difficult. And men are the stronger gender physically, which is how they became sort of the stronger gender overall.

And yes blindbaker, I am the one you fond on omegle :P

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And besides that, being a "wussbag" makes the females the stronger gender. No offense, but men are supposed to be the leaders. That's just how things are and have always been.

That last bit is true enough, but it doesn't have to be. Men are not "supposed" to be the leaders. Men should feel free not to be the leaders, and women should feel free to be the leaders. There's no such thing as a "stronger" gender. Gender is, for the most part, socially constructed and the only reason people still conform to it is that most people are most comfortable with what is seen as the path of least resistance.

 

Basically, who cares who's the stronger gender, whether it be men or women?

Gender definitely is not a socially constructed concept. That thing between my legs did not come around because of some social breakthrough. Men are supposed to be the leaders, for thousands of years it's been that way and changing human nature and thousands of years of history is difficult. And men are the stronger gender physically, which is how they became sort of the stronger gender overall.

And yes blindbaker, I am the one you fond on omegle :P

But then there's also the fact that having a [bleep] doesn't mean anything. Leaders aren't determined by brawls nowadays, strength is often irrelevant.

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EDIT: To be clear, this post is in response to rsautohater, not doomsavenger.

 

My psychology background says otherwise. Gender and which sex organs you're born with are only partially related. Sex organs represent what sex you are. Gender is indeed the socially constructed roles usually assigned to men or women depending on culture. Don't believe me?

 

How about the WHO's definition: "Gender refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviour, activities and attributes that a particular society considers appropriate for men and women.

 

The distinct roles and behaviour may give rise to gender inequalities, i.e. differences between men and women that systematically favour one group. In turn, such inequalities can lead to inequities between men and women in both health status and access to health care."

 

World Health Organization

 

Saying men are supposed to be the leaders is sexist talk. And physical differences are just about the only way men are "stronger" than women.

 

"Human Nature" has got nothing to do with it. Gender roles were formed for convenience's sake, not because women are inherently subservient to men.

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EDIT: To be clear, this post is in response to rsautohater, not doomsavenger.

 

My psychology background says otherwise. Gender and which sex organs you're born with are only partially related. Sex organs represent what sex you are. Gender is indeed the socially constructed roles usually assigned to men or women depending on culture. Don't believe me?

 

How about the WHO's definition: "Gender refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviour, activities and attributes that a particular society considers appropriate for men and women.

 

The distinct roles and behaviour may give rise to gender inequalities, i.e. differences between men and women that systematically favour one group. In turn, such inequalities can lead to inequities between men and women in both health status and access to health care."

 

World Health Organization

 

Saying men are supposed to be the leaders is sexist talk. And physical differences are just about the only way men are "stronger" than women.

 

"Human Nature" has got nothing to do with it. Gender roles were formed for convenience's sake, not because women are inherently subservient to men.

It's sexist, but it's true. Women like a strong, confident man looking out for them.

 

Tripsis, you can't honestly say that's not true.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

This line doesn't rhyme,

And neither does this one.

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Tripsis, you can't honestly say that's not true.

I never said I didn't like confident men. I don't like ARROGANT men. As I said before, there's a difference between confidence and arrogance.

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It's sexist, but it's true. Women like a strong, confident man looking out for them.

 

Tripsis, you can't honestly say that's not true.

Tripsis, I'm assuming he meant his point about women liking a "strong, confident man looking out for them."

 

I would say that's an over generalization. It's true for the general schema of what a woman wants, but can not be taken as a blanket statement. Some women are not looking for that. Case in point: strong female feminists.

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It's sexist, but it's true. Women like a strong, confident man looking out for them.

 

Tripsis, you can't honestly say that's not true.

Tripsis, I'm assuming he meant his point about women liking a "strong, confident man looking out for them."

 

I would say that's an over generalization. It's true for the general schema of what a woman wants, but can not be taken as a blanket statement. Some women are not looking for that. Case in point: strong female feminists.

Yeah I got that after I posted and reread what he said :-# I agree with you, flyingjj, that most women probably do want that (though not all). But as I said before, several of you seem to be using confidence and arrogance as synonyms :-?

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It makes perfect sense really. The bad boys have the confidence to make girls attracted to them, and the alpha male status to make relationship status prestigious.

 

Unfortunately from a long term standpoint this instinct is more kinds of stupid than I can count, but no amount of sanity is going to convince a girl that she can't turn that bad boy into the perfect, monogamous, loving mate.

 

(And don't lie like all the other girls do tripsis, bad boys attract you, it's basic instinct. You're just consciously aware enough to suppress that outdated instinct.)

I guess that's where the problem lies. I'm very much into long term relationships, so it doesn't make sense to me. And I can see CONFIDENCE as an attractive trait, but not ARROGANCE. There is a difference between the two. A guy can be confident without having excessive amounts of it and feeling the need to constantly rank above women. And who are you to tell me that I'm lying? :roll: I would think I would know what attracts me more than you do.

You're telling me you aren't attracted to the tall, sexy, confident alpha male? You'd be the first girl I've met for which that is true.

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If you'd read my post, you'll see that I am talking about confidence vs arrogance. I said I could understand confidence as being an attractive quality but not arrogance. The lines that were being discussed earlier for asking someone on a date display ARROGANCE - not confidence, in my opinion. And no, I do not find ARROGANCE attractive at all. In fact, if a man feels like he has to constantly prove that he ranks above women or some BS - as discussed earlier - then he could even come off as insecure because of his need to be above the woman. A truly confident man won't feel degraded by complimenting a woman by saying that he would love the honor of dating her..

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If you are truly confident, then you shouldn't be so obsessed with trying to be cool.

Not caring about being cool is cool within itself.

Just what I was trying to say - thank you :P

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There's one flaw in the confidense-arrogance-is-madatory-for-mating theory.

Survival of the fittest. If girls were never attracted to the 'wussy' nice guys, they'd die out due to lack of breeding. You can be an aplha male all you want, but there's too kinds of it: Natural, and Forced. The Naturals are the ones that do the breeding. The Forced often come off as fake (and if they dont, then women really need to open their eyes, cause its pretty obvious). If women were NEVER attracted to nice guys, there would be NO niec guys. Obviously there's still a few girls out there that still believe in a good faithful, upstanding nice guy. From my experience these are the girls that ACTUALLY realize that they don't want the 'alpha-male'.

 

From my observations anyway.

 

 

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Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

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Tripsis, you can't honestly say that's not true.

I never said I didn't like confident men. I don't like ARROGANT men. As I said before, there's a difference between confidence and arrogance.

Ah, sorry about that. Didn't see your earlier post.

 

Still, for some reason I'd rather take advice from a guy who's successful with girls than an actual girl.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

This line doesn't rhyme,

And neither does this one.

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Okay, well this is not about me, but to a friend that I used to know and moved about 200 miles from me that I write to on the internet. His scenario is about a girl that he likes so I'm going to just quote the letter he sent me and see if someone can reply. By the way, he's 18.

 

He wrote:

 

About a week ago I started going to a lounge that's close to where I live, the place is nice and everything, but that's not the point, lol. There is this very attractive girl that works there as a hostess, and she could be the prettiest girl I've seen in a very long time, at least here. She appears a little older than me. I notice she makes eye contact with me from time to time and she greets me. Again, that is her job- to be nice to people. I really want to start some kind of conversation with her to get to know her better and develop familiarity, ask her if she's single, would she like to go out sometime, etc. What I see extremely difficult here is that this is her work place, and I just don't know how to approach her, and when it comes to this kind of stuff.

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I need a bit of advice,There are these two girls i know let's call them girl A and girl B

 

Girl A

She is soooo pretty, im a pretty average guy, stuck in the middle class society of high school shes in the upper class society I asked her out about 2 years ago let's say she turned me down she's pretty but a first rate b...., you might not like me saying that about a girl but if you met her you would know, after that i moved on but she's been acting weird for the past month going out of her way to talk to me (small talk, how are ya etc) then today she asked me out and said everything i was doing this past year was to make her jealous and she knows i like her and she said she loved him. I stared at her and walked away. This is where Girl B comes in

 

 

Girl B

She is pretty but not as pretty as Girl A, she's also pretty much middle class, about 1 year after A turned me down i asked out B she said yes and we've been together as bf and gf for the past year and it's going pretty great and i thought i was past A but we've been having problems lately and with A's proclamation of love which i don't even know is sincere i'm not sure how i feel about either.

 

 

Oh im so confused

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I need a bit of advice,There are these two girls i know let's call them girl A and girl B

 

Girl A

She is soooo pretty, im a pretty average guy, stuck in the middle class society of high school shes in the upper class society I asked her out about 2 years ago let's say she turned me down she's pretty but a first rate b...., you might not like me saying that about a girl but if you met her you would know, after that i moved on but she's been acting weird for the past month going out of her way to talk to me (small talk, how are ya etc) then today she asked me out and said everything i was doing this past year was to make her jealous and she knows i like her and she said she loved him. I stared at her and walked away. This is where Girl B comes in

 

 

Girl B

She is pretty but not as pretty as Girl A, she's also pretty much middle class, about 1 year after A turned me down i asked out B she said yes and we've been together as bf and gf for the past year and it's going pretty great and i thought i was past A but we've been having problems lately and with A's proclamation of love which i don't even know is sincere i'm not sure how i feel about either.

 

 

Oh im so confused

Basically, don't be a [bleep]. Your relationship with A wouldn't last too long, I'm guessing. Stick with B, try to sort out your problems and if it doesn't work out, A might still be there.

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Hegemony-Spain

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ok, im puttin it out here.

I ASKED A GAL OUT

finally got the confedence, so, high five

She turned me down. but after the two hour [cabbage] period, its not really that bad.

just saying....

At least you're over it. And since you had the confidence to do it, you should feel confident that you can do it again.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

This line doesn't rhyme,

And neither does this one.

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ok, im puttin it out here.

I ASKED A GAL OUT

finally got the confedence, so, high five

She turned me down. but after the two hour [cabbage] period, its not really that bad.

just saying....

 

Rejection is the best thing to overcome (in terms of relationships anyway). A lot of guys don't even ask women out because they fear being rejected.

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ok, im puttin it out here.

I ASKED A GAL OUT

finally got the confedence, so, high five

She turned me down. but after the two hour [cabbage] period, its not really that bad.

just saying....

 

Rejection is the best thing to overcome (in terms of relationships anyway). A lot of guys don't even ask women out because they fear being rejected.

Which means y'did good.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

This line doesn't rhyme,

And neither does this one.

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There's one flaw in the confidense-arrogance-is-madatory-for-mating theory.

Survival of the fittest. If girls were never attracted to the 'wussy' nice guys, they'd die out due to lack of breeding. You can be an aplha male all you want, but there's too kinds of it: Natural, and Forced. The Naturals are the ones that do the breeding. The Forced often come off as fake (and if they dont, then women really need to open their eyes, cause its pretty obvious). If women were NEVER attracted to nice guys, there would be NO niec guys. Obviously there's still a few girls out there that still believe in a good faithful, upstanding nice guy. From my experience these are the girls that ACTUALLY realize that they don't want the 'alpha-male'.

 

From my observations anyway.

Good point. But also at the same time the alpha-male is slowly changing from the strong man to a more intelligent man. Not nerdy, but a man who can get out of trouble and maintain his family in the "information" age. Brawn is still the majority of course, but attractiveness will evolve.

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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ok, im puttin it out here.

I ASKED A GAL OUT

finally got the confedence, so, high five

She turned me down. but after the two hour [cabbage] period, its not really that bad.

just saying....

 

Rejection is the best thing to overcome (in terms of relationships anyway). A lot of guys don't even ask women out because they fear being rejected.

Which means y'did good.

 

Ty, i needed someone to actually tell me i acomplished something.... lol

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Ty, i needed someone to actually tell me i acomplished something.... lol

And now that you have the balls to do it, all you need is the skills.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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