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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios
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I'm not sure if I can say anything that helps. I'll try.

 

You just have to stop. Anytime you think of taking out your insecurities on her, just don't. Let them fade away. Have you told her how insecure and scared you've been lately? Because if you can't be more honest and trusting with her, you've got a lot of work to do. If you're going to love, you need to love passionately and with all your heart - and mind. I have trust issues too, I don't know why, and I have my bouts of jealousy. But in my situation (which I doubt I will ever explain to you guys, unless I see it as necessary), I just tell her. And she helps. She tells me how she feels, more than she's ever told anyone.

 

I'm not sure if that helped. An example of what works for me, may not work for you. You're just going to have to learn to trust. It's hard. But does she trust you fully? Because that probably takes a lot for her. The least you can do is trust her. Don't worry, you aren't losing her. Just don't push her away. I know it's an awful feeling. Maybe focus on some romance. It's my specialty!

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And that is me and her ended.

 

I thought that was going to hurt more than it did but it hasn't. Instead I'm laughing at what she has become >.<

Sounds like it was the right thing to do. Gratz on being a man :P

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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And that is me and her ended.

 

I thought that was going to hurt more than it did but it hasn't. Instead I'm laughing at what she has become >.<

Sounds like it was the right thing to do. Gratz on being a man :P

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I just wanna thank you guys for your help... I've just pushed aside my meh and have became my banter-y, fun self again, just like that. There's not enough thanks I can give to repay for the feeling I got when she stopped giggling, sighed, and said "I missed you."

 

Another mission accomplished (Y) I really need to come and pay it forward here sometime.

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How do I stop worrying that she'll leave me, or leave me and tell people I'm a terrible person?

 

Jesus. Pull yourself together man.

 

You're still young, why are you worrying? There will be many more relationships after this one - enjoy it. If you're not enjoying it, end it.

 

Fight for the relationship, but it's not a marriage.

 

OT: There is something interesting happening soon but Im not sure, so I wont spoil it.

 

It's just a little extra hair pimples and hormones bro don't worry about it.

I have a bit of a question.

 

I'm in love with a friend of mine, and I have absolutely no idea how to tell her my feelings. Everything else has been taken into account; I just don't know how to say "I love you." I assumed you guys have had some experience dealing with these issues. :rolleyes:

Don't tell her. It removes all the challenge, romance and mystery out of the equation. Escalate touch and flirt. If she responds positively then make a move.

 

Never 'spill your feelings.' I didn't learn my lesson the first few times and did it even after having sex with a girl for months (after being close friends for years) and still got a 'whaaaaat? relationship?'

 

Steer the relationship with your actions and don't show more cards than she is.

 

 

Also I think I'm falling in love.

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@Dan, your late. tl;dr - Liked a chick, best mate got her drunk and [bleep]ed her in front of me. And you, love? Sir, you jest.

 

(Besides, im older then you. Dont talk down on me about hormones)

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@Dan, your late. tl;dr - Liked a chick, best mate got her drunk and [bleep]ed her in front of me. And you, love? Sir, you jest.

 

(Besides, im older then you. Dont talk down on me about hormones)

 

It was a joke, and I would barely call it condescending...

 

Anyways, life has been interesting lately. For one, good bye virginity, and I owe a friend a slap as part of a bet. Second, sex isn't really that great (At least she seemed like she was having a blast), although it could just be that I'm not that attracted to her; I started something and it quickly fizzed, I plan on killing things tomorrow. Thirdly, remember how I was talking about a girl two years younger than me? I'm back to that again, confused as [bleep] about how I feel about her, and I think I would know for certain if she wasn't so much younger than me. Fourthly, I had what I guess I would call a mental breakdown on Friday, all stemming from a conversation I had with a friend.

 

More on the mental breakdown:

 

Me and my friend were supposed to be doing a project, but instead talked about a lot of other things, lifeguarding, counselling at a camp we'll both be working at, backpacking across Canada, and pen spinning. He's quite good at pen spinning, and taught me how to do some basic stuff. Afterwards I got to thinking that I don't have anything that I'm good at. I'm athletic, but haven't really done much, I'm smart, but not some kind of genius, and there are no real tricks that I know how to do. So then I got distracted by some friends, and the thoughts were left to soak into my head. A couple hours later, while watching a movie with my ex (Who's my best friend now), the thoughts came back full-force. I then proceeded to become completely stressed out. I left and she went to her boyfriends, and then I pretty much had the breakdown once I got home, thinking about what I'm going to do about this, and that, and these people, and how I'm going to end things with Vivian, and what am i even doing in my life, what do I want to do, what am I good at, what aren't I good at, what do people think I'm good at, and my mind was going a mile a minute. So yeah, was all jittery and worked up, so I went outside and played with my dog for about 20-30 minutes (Of literally sprinting back and forth), then drove down to pick up pizza my dad had ordered, had a good scream on the drive back. Starting texting Emily (Younger girl) while eating, and talked to her for the rest of the night, and that definitely helped me calm down. Oh, I'm also nearly certain that she has feelings for me. Now this weekend I spent mostly alone, figuring my stuff out and making plans for what I'm going to do. I've realized just how good my accomplishments are, I will be doing awesome in life, and [cabbage] doesn't matter.

 

Completely unrelated, anyone else here good friends with an ex?

There's no such thing as regret. A regret means you are unhappy with the person you are now,

and if you're unhappy with the person you are, you change yourself. That

regret will no longer be a regret, because it will help to form the new,

better you. So really, a regret isn't a regret.

It's experience.

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Yeah, my ex is my closest friend, next to my current girlfriend. Who is so much more. :) Happy times taking place in my life at the moment.

 

Though, I'm on break from college and haven't seen my girlfriend in a month. Head back Saturday and we plan to spend the day with each other. :)

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I don't think being friends with an ex would be such a good idea for me, especially if I still have feelings for her, or vice versa. Would only end up hurting us both. Biggest example: My ex-girlfriend. She stayed friends with her ex-boyfriend, but still loved him immensely, even when dating me, but he didn't love her at all. It was one of (if not THE) reason we broke up.

 

But if you guys can be friends with your ex's, good for you :thumbup:

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Never forget. ~creeper face w/single tear~

 

DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?!?!

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@Dan, your late. tl;dr - Liked a chick, best mate got her drunk and [bleep]ed her in front of me. And you, love? Sir, you jest.

 

(Besides, im older then you. Dont talk down on me about hormones)

 

It was a joke, and I would barely call it condescending...

 

Anyways, life has been interesting lately. For one, good bye virginity, and I owe a friend a slap as part of a bet. Second, sex isn't really that great (At least she seemed like she was having a blast), although it could just be that I'm not that attracted to her; I started something and it quickly fizzed, I plan on killing things tomorrow. Thirdly, remember how I was talking about a girl two years younger than me? I'm back to that again, confused as [bleep] about how I feel about her, and I think I would know for certain if she wasn't so much younger than me. Fourthly, I had what I guess I would call a mental breakdown on Friday, all stemming from a conversation I had with a friend.

 

More on the mental breakdown:

 

Me and my friend were supposed to be doing a project, but instead talked about a lot of other things, lifeguarding, counselling at a camp we'll both be working at, backpacking across Canada, and pen spinning. He's quite good at pen spinning, and taught me how to do some basic stuff. Afterwards I got to thinking that I don't have anything that I'm good at. I'm athletic, but haven't really done much, I'm smart, but not some kind of genius, and there are no real tricks that I know how to do. So then I got distracted by some friends, and the thoughts were left to soak into my head. A couple hours later, while watching a movie with my ex (Who's my best friend now), the thoughts came back full-force. I then proceeded to become completely stressed out. I left and she went to her boyfriends, and then I pretty much had the breakdown once I got home, thinking about what I'm going to do about this, and that, and these people, and how I'm going to end things with Vivian, and what am i even doing in my life, what do I want to do, what am I good at, what aren't I good at, what do people think I'm good at, and my mind was going a mile a minute. So yeah, was all jittery and worked up, so I went outside and played with my dog for about 20-30 minutes (Of literally sprinting back and forth), then drove down to pick up pizza my dad had ordered, had a good scream on the drive back. Starting texting Emily (Younger girl) while eating, and talked to her for the rest of the night, and that definitely helped me calm down. Oh, I'm also nearly certain that she has feelings for me. Now this weekend I spent mostly alone, figuring my stuff out and making plans for what I'm going to do. I've realized just how good my accomplishments are, I will be doing awesome in life, and [cabbage] doesn't matter.

 

Completely unrelated, anyone else here good friends with an ex?

 

A)

Just go be with the younger chick. Feelings are much more important that slighted social acceptance. Would you rather be happy and have a few people look at you a tad funny, or would you rather be miserable and "correct"?

 

B)

Everyone is good at something, just as everyone will inevitably be shown up by someone else at that something. But somehow, we're all equal because that better person will still have something they're not good at, where you are

 

C)

I am/was friends with both my ex's. Although, one of which I fight with constantly, and the other has an attention issue where if I ignore her while she's trying to talk to me for more tha n30 seconds she gets pissy. And while I think it's hard to be friends with your ex, in a lot of situations it's perfectly possible.

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Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

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Completely unrelated, anyone else here good friends with an ex?

Just generally speaking, I think that it only works out well if the relationship wasn't that serious. But if you had a serious relationship, I think there's too much history there to have a successful friendship, especially if you weren't "just friends" before you started dating. I'm only friends with one ex: a guy I dated when I was like 13. And the age alone should tell you how serious the relationship was. :P But although we rarely see each other anymore (different universities) I still consider him one of my best friends.

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My ex and I agreed to stay friends after we broke up.

 

We haven't spoken since, and it's been four years.

 

:thumbup:

Touching.

 

Had a deep conversation with my girlfriend today after work. Just about life, etc. It feels good when you can confide in someone like that.

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My ex and I agreed to stay friends after we broke up.

 

We haven't spoken since, and it's been four years.

 

:thumbup:

I like this for some reason. Gary Cooper style. :shades:

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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Completely unrelated, anyone else here good friends with an ex?

Ermm... depends on definition of 'good'. Basically, I am friends with someone who was my girlfriend for just over a year when I was 16/17 but we were best friends before we started seeing each other as more than that so we do it more out of obligation and just to make sure the other one's alright. When both of us are single, it's absolutely fine. We tell each other things about life we don't dream of telling anyone else just because we've both 'been there' with each other so it's easier to understand. But at soon as either of us starts dating? Too awkward. This is about three or four years after we split up, by the way, so it doesn't really go away.

 

I mean, there's definitely still trust there between us but... the relationship and the splitting up part leaves too many cracks the vast majority of the time, and even if you overcome that, there's problems. Imagine a situation where she comes to you for serious advice on her relationship and she turns to you because you were once very intimate with her...how can you possibly remain emotionally objective?

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How do you guys/girls get over your ex's?

 

As my method of bottling and pretending everything is okay is failing badly as was evident at school today.

Don't bottle. EVER. It just builds up inside of you until you spontaneously combust. It isn't a good way of coping.

Unfinished netherrack symbol of Khorne.

 

Never forget. ~creeper face w/single tear~

 

DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?!?!

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How do you guys/girls get over your ex's?

 

As my method of bottling and pretending everything is okay is failing badly as was evident at school today.

Don't bottle. EVER. It just builds up inside of you until you spontaneously combust. It isn't a good way of coping.

 

Mmm realised that today. Didn't end well. I was fine up until his friends (her new "guy") talked to me... Then I lost it and struggled to keep composer without being rude/insultive

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What exactly was he saying that rattled your cage so much? Did he know the two of you were an item once or was he deliberately being anal?

 

It's been four days since we seperated and she is already trying to get on him, literally on top. And yes, he knew: "He is so in with your ex."

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Yeah, when that happened to me in the past I took it as a compliment. "Ohh... warning me off, eh? Someone's not confident in their own ability ;-)"

 

Anyways, four days after splitting she's either doing one of two things:

1) Looking for a rebound, in which case, more fool him.

2) Trying to get a reaction out of you.

 

Nah, bottling ain't the answer here. For 1) Just let the douche fall on his own sword 'coz you can't really stop her finding other guys, and for 2) Just walk away and ignore it. She can't get a reaction if you're not there. Go find some girls of your own.

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All of my best mates ever have been female, mostly those I WAS attracted to, but decided that I would rather be friends. I barely talk to my ex's, and the only one who I did talk to was to tell her to not talk to me ever again (after she screwed me over). I generally don't feel guilty about things though.

 

Never bottle it up. Tell one of your friends that you trust about it. It's never a good idea.

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