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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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She wasn't alone. I do agree it shouldn't be completely in public though.

I didn't mean alone without other people, I meant solely the fact that it's at the age of 15.


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To each his own. I drank when I was 15. I did not do it often as I am sure is the case with her.


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"He could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder."

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Why does the fact she's 15 make any difference at all?

 

In fact, come to think of it, why is this even being discussed? It's none of our business whether she goes out and gets drunk because her exams are over.

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I told you, i'm making it your business.


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Anyone who posts here about their relationship makes their life and the life of the other person our business :P


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No it doesn't. This thread doesn't exist to claim a moral highground.

 

Once you leave a relationship with someone, you cease to hold the right to cast any kind of aspersions whatsoever about the way that other person lives their life.

 

So she gets drunk at 15... underage drinking aside (which is a matter for her parents, not you) it's perfectly within her right to decide how she celebrates the end of her exams.

 

It's been said before, and it clearly needs saying again: Just. Ignore. Her.

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It is within her right, but it's also within our rights to have opinions :P Though I'm fine with changing the topic at this point since we're clearly just talking in circles.


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All I'm saying is I'm not prepared to use this thread as a means of being derisive towards someone we don't personally know, and someone who has no ability to defend themselves.

 

The aim of advice-giving is not judgementalism.

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Agreed completely with ginger.


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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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All I'm saying is I'm not prepared to use this thread as a means of being derisive towards someone we don't personally know, and someone who has no ability to defend themselves.

 

The aim of advice-giving is not judgementalism.

We give advice based on the judgments we make based on the information we are given. It can't be helped, otherwise we probably wouldn't be giving advice. Sam told us she drinks, so we give advice on what to do based on our judgments we've made on that fact.


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So, if anyone here remember the issue I was having, I'm basically just going to stop talking to the girl for about a week, unless she contacts me first (Which is reasonably unlikely). Not for the sake of getting over her, but I realized our conversation mostly consists of fairly short answers from her with me trying to keep things afloat (her saying the occasional thing randomly to create discussion, so I don't think she's hinting I'm annoying her), and I feel like it's destroying the friendship aspect of it. It's going to be hard not talking to her, but I'll try my best, and hopefully within a week she'll either have contacted me. If not, then I'll start a discussion up, and see if it gets anywhere at all.

 

Thanks for the previous advice, that I should have followed earlier. It probably would have saved a lot of pain if I took it then rather than coming to a different realization now.

 

Giving her space for a week is probably the best thing you can do currently.

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I don't know why I still care.


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I don't know why I still care.

Because she's your first girlfriend and you lost your virginity to her...

 

Which is why high school kids shouldn't have sex, but that's a whole other can of worms.

 

At any rate, the only thing to do is just try to get over her and with enough time you eventually will.


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Sex does funny things to a person's mind. It is natural that you still care, it has only been a couple weeks or so. It will fade if you let it. These things take time.


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"He could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder."

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Sex does funny things to a person's mind. It is natural that you still care, it has only been a couple weeks or so. It will fade if you let it. These things take time.

 

I disagree. I am in full belief that Sam will always care for Ellen. Their relationship was special, and meant alot to Sam, if not to Ellen as well. It's a shame that she's an immature girl, but as time goes on one can hope that she'll grow out of it one day. Until that day comes, most of her behavior will be seen in the eyes of Sam will be an atrocity, and a sin against nature itself. You think seeing her drunk in public sucks? Just wait til she starts hooking up with other guys...

 

Sam, I'll be frank. You'll always in the back of your heart have some sort of emotional tie to her on some level. You'll probably never stop caring entirely. But what you can do, is do yourself a favor. Stop caring that you care about her. Realize that she is her own being entitled to making her own decisions, however disgusting they may be in your eyes. Stop thinking about life as your life with her in it, and start thinking about the World's interactions, with you in it. Get away from her. She's causing you distress, and will continue to do so until you truly stop caring about your feelings for her. Maybe one day when she grows up, and the stars align, you two will meet again and have an entirely different interactive encounter. But for now, you're still a strung-out, post-break up teen male, and she's just an immature girl. Seriously. Stay away from her. Throw a brick wall between you two. No communication, no news, no news feed, no texts, nothing. And if she's trying to start with you....give her a reason to stop.


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Very well said, Daniel. I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

As I posted in the regrets thread, I'm having second thoughts about my current relationship. It's been about a month and a half, we've had sex, she's cute and sexy, and I dig her. I can't pit my finger on what it is, but lately (these past few days) I've just been thinking a lot about breaking up with her. Opinions, comments, questions? I could use some help here.

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Very well said, Daniel. I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

As I posted in the regrets thread, I'm having second thoughts about my current relationship. It's been about a month and a half, we've had sex, she's cute and sexy, and I dig her. I can't pit my finger on what it is, but lately (these past few days) I've just been thinking a lot about breaking up with her. Opinions, comments, questions? I could use some help here.

hmm... do you think you deserve better or something?


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99 Firemaking - July 29th, 2010

99 Fletching - December 30th, 2010

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That could be it. While in Disneyland I got a lot of cute/sexy girls eyeing me and I found myself wishing I was single while there. She treats me well, and I'm the kind of guarded guy so I'm an ass a lot. But she puts up with all of my [cabbage], and it worries me that if I break up with her I won't be able to find another girl who can deal with me for long enough for me to let my guard down.

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RPG, I see what you are saying. Christ, it has been over four years since I had a relationship end in nearly the exact same way as Sam is describing his, and I obviously have not forgotten about that girl. I do not know if I can qualify my feelings as "caring" for her. Sure, there are still feelings there but I have not talked to her or seen her in at least two years so I am not really sure how anyone can "care" for someone in that situation. My point is that yes, there will be feelings for that person, but the difficult ones will fade with time. The best thing is to learn as much as you can about yourself from a failed relationship and move the eff on with your life. Every time you get some of those feelings back for an ex, put them out of your mind as quickly as you can or they will lead to dwelling and personal anguish.

 

Bows--

 

It sounds like you two have a good physical connection. How are things beyond that? Try taking a break from the physical aspects and see if you still enjoy being with her.


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"He could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder."

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You don't stop caring for each other once a relationship is over. That's perfectly natural.

 

I've often believed that what seperates teenagers from grown adults is the ability to do something we don't really feel like doing, but doing it anyway because it's the best thing to do. People say taking more responsbility in the house is a sign of growing up; nobody ever wanted to clean dishes, or spend money on food other people are going to eat, but we do it anyway. People say getting a job is a sign of growing up; nobody wants to waste eight hours of the day in a stuffy office making phone calls to people we'll never meet in our entire lives, but we do it anyway. People say graduating from university is a sign of growing up; nobody likes doing an all-nighter the evening before the final exam hopelessly trying to cram information, but we do it anyway.

 

Nobody likes admitting that a relationship is never going to return back to golden days, but people have to do it anyway, because more often than not, neither side really knows how to deal properly with seperating from somebody else.

 

For what it's worth, my last relationship ended four years ago. I've been with other girls since, on nights out mostly, but nothing serious (I haven't exactly been trying, granted). But I still have feelings for my ex. She's in a new relationship, even so she's told me she feels and cares about me still. We've both accepted however that it didn't work the first time round, and nothing's changed to suggest it would work the second time of asking. We can still care for each other in a Platonic way, on the condition it doesn't go further than that.

 

I'd point out however that we didn't talk to each other (as in, nothing except very brief, often venomous eye contact) for a good two years before we figured that out. That's what you need to prepare for.

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That could be it. While in Disneyland I got a lot of cute/sexy girls eyeing me and I found myself wishing I was single while there. She treats me well, and I'm the kind of guarded guy so I'm an ass a lot. But she puts up with all of my [cabbage], and it worries me that if I break up with her I won't be able to find another girl who can deal with me for long enough for me to let my guard down.

Your personality sounds like my girlfriend's :lol:

 

 

And I agree with Range, try to see if you have a connection beyond just physically.


99 Hunter - November 1st, 2008

99 Cooking -July 22nd, 2009

99 Firemaking - July 29th, 2010

99 Fletching - December 30th, 2010

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Thanks guys :)


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<br />Very well said, Daniel. I couldn't have said it better myself.<br /><br />As I posted in the regrets thread, I'm having second thoughts about my current relationship. It's been about a month and a half, we've had sex, she's cute and sexy, and I dig her. I can't pit my finger on what it is, but lately (these past few days) I've just been thinking a lot about breaking up with her. Opinions, comments, questions? I could use some help here.<br />
<br /><br /><br />

 

you know my name? I forgot I ever mentioned it to you lol

 

As for your predicament, I've seen you with some very attractive girls from the pictures you've posted, and you seem to just get along with all of them on some level. It's a blessing and a curse. You have your choice of who you want. But who do you want? At the end of the day, you're young and will be for quite some time. Enjoy being young. Have fun. You seem more suited for a casual relationship/dating/single kind of scenario. Or maybe you just get bored fast? I don't really know you well enough to make that call. This might just be a phase as you find yourself losing the initial spark of your otherwise fresh relationship. I say give it time, unless you feel a real need to break up with her. Obviously being tempted by a bunch of attractive girls on a vacation is going to shake your pubescent male mind up.


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Taking the girl I like to glow in the dark mini golf be a good idea of a date?


My relaxation method involves a bottle of lotion, beautiful women, and partial nudity. Yes I get massages.

 

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