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Da_Latios

"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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I think people misunderstood me. When I said propose sex, not really in the "Milady, would you like to foriniate at 7th o'clock tonight?". More like "I got a date tonight, I'm going to pull my weight to influence her into bed". You, mentally, have a goal and are trying to achieve it.

 

Waiting until it feels right, to me, sounds like not establishing the goal and waiting for it to happen with no effort or by the effort of the other partner (mostly ladies).

 

I'm I missing something or is the 'establishing the goal' part into "natural" sex?

 

This would be the biggest mistake I could ever do besides cheating on her at this point in time. You might not understand it but I know my situation. My goal every night is to make her smile, not make her [bleep].

 

I'm relatively sure that almost everybody in this thread understands exactly what you're going through right now. :P

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OK, I can understand that. Muggi's right, I've been a 17 year old lad in a relationship, I know the situation.

 

If the roles were reversed, and it was you wanting to abstain, would she be as altruistic as you are being now about wanting to make you happy, even if it's inconveniencing her and neglecting her from what she desires from the relationship? If she would be OK with that, go for it. If you don't think she would be prepared to do that for you, think more deeply about how much you're tolerating this just to keep her all loved up to yourself.

 

You don't need to reply. I know I can trust you to work through the answer by yourself.

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@Muggiw

What is an AFC man exactly? I hate the stupid lingo, but I enjoy the philosophical debates behind it.

 

Rpg why are you still in contact with her?

 

I question this myself sometimes. I put the ball in her court to call me back. She didn't. I could have left it at that, but I ended up calling her to apologize for being so mad all the time. I don't think I'll be hanging around her or talking to her again though. At least that's what I'm trying for. I really don't need the triggers she sets off all the time. The window of happiness I had with her seems to have locked shut.

 

17 hoops

 

at least you didn't fix her printer homes

 

<3


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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@Muggiw

What is an AFC man exactly? I hate the stupid lingo, but I enjoy the philosophical debates behind it.

 

An average frustrated chump. Basically someone who isn't getting what he wants out of his relationships with women--whether it be sex, love, security, etc. Usually he just doesn't know any better and has been brainwashed by society to behave in a certain way that ultimately sets him up for failure, frustration, disappointment, and unhappiness.

 

I question this myself sometimes. I put the ball in her court to call me back. She didn't. I could have left it at that, but I ended up calling her to apologize for being so mad all the time. I don't think I'll be hanging around her or talking to her again though. At least that's what I'm trying for. I really don't need the triggers she sets off all the time. The window of happiness I had with her seems to have locked shut.

 

Well you know what they say-- when one door of happiness closes, another door of drama opens :twss:


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@Muggiw

What is an AFC man exactly? I hate the stupid lingo, but I enjoy the philosophical debates behind it.

 

Rpg why are you still in contact with her?

 

I question this myself sometimes. I put the ball in her court to call me back. She didn't. I could have left it at that, but I ended up calling her to apologize for being so mad all the time. I don't think I'll be hanging around her or talking to her again though. At least that's what I'm trying for. I really don't need the triggers she sets off all the time. The window of happiness I had with her seems to have locked shut.

That's not how cutting contact works. There is no ball. And if you put the ball in her court (something you do when you don't want to cut contact but want to affirm authority) and she doesn't hit it back, you don't go under the net, grab the ball and try again. It just makes you look flip-floppity.


Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Rpg I'd reread this: http://blackdragonbl...ss-and-oneitis/

 

I'm writing a big-ass post regarding points 3 and 4 for my blog, I'll share it here when I'm done. If you've got a big mission/purpose in your life, then it's really hard to get needy and unhappy because you've got bigger fish to fry, so to speak. And that's not limited to unhappiness regarding women either :D


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I don't want to say I've fallen ill with oneitis again, but it seems that way I guess. I'll go off and school myself some...

 

I love your analogy Omar haha


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Omar what sport are you thinking of in your analogy? Volleyball? I mean, I think it'd make more sense to either go over or around the net to retrieve the ball if we're talking about tennis. And if we're talking about ping pong then it'd definitely be better to walk around to the other side of the table to get the ball than to climb onto the table and try squeezing under the net and risk damaging the table.

 

These are the kinds of things that keep me up at night.


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^Watch out Muggi I can't handle it when you guys get this deep.


The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.

[hide=Tifers say the darndest things]

I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.

I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(

Since when was Ireland an island...? :wall:

I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.

[/hide]

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That's all to much pursuing, muggi--the net should be trying to go under/over/around you.

  • Like 1

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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What if your girlfriend is an only child and you dislike her over-worrying parents?

Elope. :wink:


"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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i don't see whyyou cant just date the parents instead didnt they teach you math in schhool?

 

2>1 duh

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sleep like dead men

wake up like dead men

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Be more specific. What do you dislike about them?

 

In general, I just have hard time with their way of life really, which is quite different from me and my family's way of life.

  • They are overprotective. I had her mum call me once around 1 am because she didn't answer her phone, which is ridiculous IMO. They basically phone her everyday.
  • There is a lot of pressure on her to achieve well. The bad thing is she is now putting this pressure on herself. Example: The atmosphere at her graduation was like a funeral, just because she didn't graduate with honors... (while in reality, she should have been glad she managed to finish her thesis in time, seeing how behind she was at one point). Not only were her parents unhappy, she's also this "indoctrinated" that she genuinely felt bad for disappointing her parents (even though she's doing one of the hardest studies around here and she should be proud she managed to finish them "on schedule").
  • Her parents don't seem to enjoy life, they nearly never go on holidays and always seem stressed about things, and they work too much (even though her dad is already on his pension). They never have friends come over (I wonder if they even have friends...).
  • Their house is a junk yard. Her dad collects books and her mum antique stuff, and their house is literally so filled with it (I'm talking about a room filled with stacks of books and old furniture) that they are not inviting anyone there. We have been together for 2 years now and I have never been allowed to enter the house because they are ashamed of how dirty it is (yet they don't do anything about it).
  • Her mum is kind of paranoid about thieves/criminals. Apparently she was once weaving around with a gun (even shooting once in the air) when there were strangers in their yard (NOT normal in Europe).

I realise this all doesn't really matter since I'm dating her (which is going very well), and not her parents, but she is an only child so her parents are very involved with her and she with them (she doesn't mind all the stuff I mentioned, she is very attached to her parents). Also, when they get old, she will be the only one to take care of them.

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The overprotective behaviour is an issue between her and her parents. Although it's frustrating for you to see, and you think it's stunting her own independence, she needs to realise that for herself and tell her parents when they're being too zealous. I wouldn't worry about that specifically, if I were you; I'd instead focus on comforting her when it starts to affect her mood.

 

Apart from that... they clearly want her to be successful and do well for herself. How is that any different to what you want for your girlfriend?

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Ging got that one good.

 

@bedman realize that it's her parents, not yours. They may piss you off, but at least you didn't have to live with them for X years. Just be there for your girlfriend when they get her down, and try to get her away from the situation. I dunno your age range, but moving her out sounds like a good idea. And if you've been together for 2 years, you may even want to consider moving in together (maybe). Generally there's not much you can do about how crazy you girl's parents are, but you can change how you handle the situations regarding the insanity.

 

On the other hand, I've been known to whip out my psych major card on my friend's parents whilst drunk and berate them for screwing up their kids so bad. Hilariously has happened more than once. It actually turned out alright in my case, but I can't say I'd say it's a good idea to confront her parents while drunk haha


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Challenge her dad to a Yu-Gi-Oh! duel.

  • Like 2

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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We're not being very helpful, sorry bedman :lol:

  • Like 2

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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