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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios
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I wrote that post under the assumption that you guys know what you should be doing, but you're just not doing it for whatever reason.

 

@Saqs, just follow this as closely as possible. In my case, my "escalation" looks like this:

 

(first date)

1. Talk to her like normal, make her laugh and feel comfortable

2. Start holding her hand, occasionally rubbing her hand with my thumb

3. Let go of her hand, rest my hand on her thigh

 

(second date at my place on my couch)

4. Put my arm around her while sitting on my couch with her

5. Use my free hand to caress her hair/face

6. Go for the kiss, and be the first to pull away if she kisses me back

7. Wait a little bit then start making out with her, then proceed to sex.

 

If she doesn't want to have sex, then I'll have a 3rd date with her and repeat what I did on the 2nd date. If on the 3rd date, I don't get any "farther" than I did on the 2nd date, I quit seeing her and never contact her again. And then I go repeat the process with a different girl.

 

If I didn't have the ability to "replace" her so easily, then I can almost guarantee I'd make up all kinds of excuses to keep seeing her... and then I'd wind up unhappy and sexually frustrated while she [bleep]s other guys. This is why it's important for every man to learn how to bring new women into his life.

 

@Ring, when I was a kid I was afraid of hanging out with new friends after school because I was afraid we'd get bored or run out of things to do or talk about, and things would get awkward. I'm assuming that's a similar kind of feeling you're getting now?

 

Anyways, if you have any mutual friends, invite them along and try to hang out with 2+ other people at a time outside of work/school so that way you won't feel any "pressure" to have fun with them. Then when you're comfortable with that, you can hang out with them alone. Like I said though, just do what you're afraid of doing and see what happens. I could give you a bulletproof logical explanation of what to do and why, but it wouldn't matter if you're still too afraid to try.

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Well it is hard to get deeper friends if you don't have common interests. For example, if you both like to play, have a LAN party. Go fishing. Do something else aswell. That would be my best advice in this situation. There must be something you both like to do.

 

And that kiss ain't what I was looking for, I knew that. I mean, what after kiss?

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So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Aye, that was the stuff I needed.

Thanks.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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One more thing regarding escalation... I don't wait for any "invitations" from her to do any of that stuff. Instead of asking myself, "is she ready for me to do this?" or "how will she react if I do this?" I just do it regardless of how she's acting and see what happens. I don't wait for any golden opportunities or anything. So if we're at Starbucks together and we're both talking, I just casually grab her hand and start holding it and then continue the conversation as if nothing ever happened. If I'm watching a movie with her on my couch, I just put my arm around her. Or I'll just turn to look at her, put my hand on her cheek/chin and kiss her.

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Yeah common interests tends to be the issue. Mostly it comes down to, do we play the same games. Otherwise I don't really talk to them as much. Main issue there is I don't have a lot of outdoor hobbies. So a lot of my common intersts have been gaming. smoking pot, or other trivial stuff.

 

And how I escalate. 

If Im on a making out level I just say stop me if you feel uncomfortable at any point.

 

Make out

Hand on chest on shirt

Hand on bra

Hand on chest

Then

Hand still on chest

Other hand on pants

Other hand on underwear

Shirt off

Other hand on crotch

pants off

 

Need me to go on?

 

Lol if they smoke too, then just be like "hey you wanna smoke weed and play ____ or watch ____ after class/work?"

 

Nobody's going to decline free weed :P Besides if you're both stoned then that right there's enough to take the pressure off and ensure you have a good time.

 

In my case I usually just ask them if they wanna go grab a beer after work. Then you talk about work and stuff with them while having a drink.

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Yea when it comes to the sexual stuff I pretty much just send her home if she's resisting my advances. It turns me off when they resist and I'm not very fond of being persistent under those circumstances. I'd prefer us to both be on the same wavelength. :P

 

If she's resisting my advances, that means I did a poor job of turning her on at some point.

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Rejection is great. I'd much rather a "no" then a "maybe". And eh muggi your advice there is more of a reflection of your personal issues and growth.

 

Me personally I have never had a problem telling a girl how that I'm into her, think shes hot, etc. I have the issues of meeting enough people (a bit of an introvert with lazy friends), and when I am really into a specific girl I have huge trouble telling her that, though with a girl equally attractive that I'm not that into I have no problems.

 

By intentionally ending relationships in the past, such as intitiating break ups or ending friendships or even quitting jobs I have learned that I love the feeling that comes with it. I have been able to sort out my main issue above by treating it like those situations where I definitely put a line in the sand.

Do you ever find that girls tell you they trust you really fast?

Cause i feel like i've never really been scared to tell someone what's on my mind. A few years ago that was part of the reason i wasn't very well liked by a lot of people we used to see at parties and such. But i've never been scared of speaking my mind no matter what the consequences.

Anyway, i try to do the same when it comes to girls and i always found that they open up to me extremely fast. Perhaps it the type of girl i am attracted to, maybe it's not. But i always thought that perhaps it's just a result of my "honesty". Was just wondering if you might experience the same sort of thing? 

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Hung out with radio station girl tonight for like 4 hours. It was a pretty good time, not sure if I'll pursue anything with her though. I can't really get a feel for what she thinks of me. I can obviously influence that without much issue, but I'm not sure if it'd be a good idea to try to push it beyond a friendship. There's a degree to which she's actually my boss (She's on the board of directors that hired me) and I think it might be a bad idea to [bleep] with that.

 

At the same time, she only had to be here from 12-1 and she stayed until like 15 minutes ago (4:30ish). Plus she brought me cookies again. So like, at the very least she probably doesn't hate me haha.

 

Realistically though, we'll probably just be friends which is totally cool with me. I think it's be too much of a challenge to make it into anything more and that's really not my style.

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@muggi

 

What's your policy (for lack of a better word) on attending family events? I got my dumb ass invited to a girl's brother's wedding. I'd like to go just for the fun time and alcohol aspect but I don't want to send the wrong message to the girl. Girl is aware exclusivity isn't an option right now, but to make matters a little complicated, her brother is a decent friend of mine.. Girl and I have been FB's basically since summer began, she's from my hometown and we go different schools so I'm hoping that also helps her understand this isn't going anywhere after August.

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Id say go and have a good time anyway though. No reason why you cant if she's totally aware your being there doesnt mean anything binding between the two of you

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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No sheep allowed.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Hmm... I may have gotten my 17 year old girlfriend pregnant. This could be unpleasant.

When you find out whether she is or not, just think carefully about what you two want to do. But for now, just take a deep breath and stay rational. Something like this can very easily cloud one's judgement and thoughts.

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Does that cycle repeat ad infinitum?

 

For separate endeavors yeah

 

 

In other news, a girl on POF has her occupation set as "future nurse." Well shit, I should just change my occupation to "future retired trillionaire" since we're allowed to do that

 

ftfy

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
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my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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Does that cycle repeat ad infinitum?

 

For separate endeavors yeah

 

 

In other news, a girl on POF has her occupation set as "future nurse." Well shit, I should just change my occupation to "future retired trillionaire" since we're allowed to do that

 

ftfy

 

I don't think inflation will be that bad in the future.

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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Hmm... I may have gotten my 17 year old girlfriend pregnant. This could be unpleasant.

 

Dude your life is GAME OVER if you decide to be a father at your age

 

Well it will be with that sort of attitude.

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