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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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Ehhhhh

small is fine cause obviously there's no reason to break bank, but flowers/chocolate sounds a little generic. How long have you been together? Any more than 6 months deserves something a bit more heartfelt


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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If shes a flowers/chocolate kinda gal then, sure


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Try to get her something from a local shop or something rather than a big brand box from Wal-Mart?
[Edit] Lang, I expected much greater things from your display name history

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Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Me and my girlfriend had out 13 month anniversary yesterday, and i think this might have been our last too. It was a fun night. We went out for dinner at one of the hotels, went somewhere else for desert and a drink, then went back home to watch a movie and stuff.

This morning when i talked to her she asked me if she could get my facebook password because she wanted to enter a competition. She enters a lot of competitions and always asks me to do the same, and usually i just can't be bothered so i guess she figured she'd just do it for me (which i really have no problem with). I don't really use my facebook at all (think in the past 3 months i've been on it 5 times for a few minutes each time), so i gave her my details. I kind of knew that she didn't just want to go on my facebook for that, so after she got off i asked her about it. Not my exact words, but basically asked her why she didn't trust me, and why she couldn't just be honest about why she wanted my login details. Told her that i felt kind of betrayed, as i haven't done anything thus far to show that i'm not untrustworthy/unfaithful.

She explained to me that some of the things i sometimes say are very sketchy, and that they sometimes make her wonder. She also told me that i have very specific routines (which i do), and when i break them it raises suspicion. She told me that she's kind of felt this way ever since NYE, and i'll explain why.

 

So on NYE we went to a house party for a bit. I met this woman (feel weird calling a 33 year old a girl). She seemed nice, friendly, etc. At the time i didn't realise it, but she was flirting a with me a lot. She told me that she was an Engineer working on the new Airport project, and i mentioned that i was in the final stretch of getting my Airline Pilot's license. She told me to give her my number and she'll try and hook my up with some of the people in the Airline, see if she can help me out a bit, etc. I kind of assumed this was a sincere offer, saw nothing more, so i gave her my number. Two days later i realised that this wasn't actually the reason she wanted my number because she sent me a message on whatsapp saying she felt a strong sexual attraction to me and that if i ever wanted to go over to her house for some fun she'd be happy. Obviously i never told my girlfriend this, but i guess she kind of suspected something like this happened anyway as i avoided talking about this woman as much as i could (and i still do, to be honest). But even still, i never gave my girlfriend any reason to doubt me. She was kind of annoyed at the fact that i didn't just tell this girl to [bleep]-off on the first night, but i figured that if she was actually able to help me out it would be good. Every little bit helps.

 

So anyway back to today... I told her that i wasn't mad, or angry that she didn't trust me but rather just disappointed (or hurt). She told me that this is he way she is with everyone and then i told her that you're not really supposed to treat your boyfriend like you treat everyone else. Maybe i'm being unrealistic about expecting some sort of special treatment? She explained to me that she's been like this for the past 2 years, she doesn't feel like she can trust anyone, etc. I went on to explain to her that i'm not going to pay for someone else's mistakes. Just because someone in her past might have [bleep]er her over, doesn't mean i'm going to do the same thing first chance i get. And i believe i've showed her this over the past 13 months. I've trusted her with a lot of things, and i still do (did until today i guess), and she hasn't shown me the same kind of trust. After i've been the one that's always looked out for her since the day i met her 4 years ago. Since i've always been there for her when she needed someone to talk to (even when we weren't dating). I've never accessed her facebook, i've never gone through her phone, and i've never had the desire to do either. I trust that she's not going to do anything behind my back, and i trust that if she did she would be smart enough not to keep any evidence (i told her this). I told her that this is going to be a major issue one day when i start working. If i have to travel out and spend a night in a different country i can't have her sitting up all night thinking i'm busy cheating on her. I want to be with someone that trusts me enough to lock me up on a room full of horny, sex-deprived supermodels and trust that i wouldn't do anything.

 

So in conclusion i told her that a relationship without trust means nothing. If i'm going to shackle myself to one person (for the rest of my life?) then i want to do so with someone that i can trust, but more importantly someone that shows me the same trust. That i wasn't willing to pay for the mistakes of someone else. That she can't tell people we have complete trust in each other, when she has zero trust in me. I can't be with someone that makes me feel like i have to be so careful about what i say, or breaking my routine because she's going to think i'm either lying to her, or late because i'm busy [bleep]ing someone else. 

 

I didn't tell her that i was going to break up with her, and right now i'm not sure if i am yet. I have major exams coming up (when i eventually manage to get myself a god damn VISA for Greece), so i want to avoid as much drama till then as i can. I know we won't be discussing this topic for at least a few weeks, which is exactly what i need right now. But the way i see it i'm going to give her till the end of my exams and see how things are then. If things have changed, then good. If they haven't... well then there's only one thing to do.

 

It's strange, but every aspect of our relationship is perfect except for this. And although it's probably not the biggest issue, it still is at the same time.

Maybe i'm making a bigger deal out of this than i should? I'm not sure. That's why i'm still kind of unsure how i really feel about all of this. It's kind of like i'm confused about it, but at the same time i really feel like it's not a big deal, yet a part of me feels like it is a big deal (and that i should be a big deal).

 

It actually got me thinking, for the first time in maybe 2 years, that i want to go back to being single for a while and just have some fun. 

 

EDIT: I just kind of realised how ironic this whole situation is. Firstly, about a month ago my friend and his girlfriend had a fight the one night and we were talking about it. I told him that night that relationships are all about who can be the bigger hypocrite and get away with it. I think i just proved my own point. Secondly, and this ties in with the whole trust/hypocrite thing, few months ago i started letting my girlfriend use my car when i didn't need it. I loved my car more than any living thing on earth just because of how much work i put into it. It was also my first German. She knew how much i loved this car and that i would cry if it even got a scratch on it, but i still let her use it because i trusted she would take care of it the same way i would. She wrecked it about a month or two after i started letting her use it. I didn't say anything, i didn't care that the car was now only 1/4th of a German, i was just happy that she got away from it without a scratch. I trusted her even though i didn't want to, and she's not really giving me the same thing in return. Hah...

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One of my closest friends is about to break up with his girlfriend of 5 years for similar reasons. I'll tell you the same thing I told him:

 

You're both acting like completely normal humans and you both are getting upset with each other for not living up to an idealized, unrealistic expectation of how you two "should" behave. This is what a real relationship looks like. If you don't like it, that's nothing to feel bad about. It's completely normal.

 

The question you need to ask yourself is, "If this is what a real relationship looks like, then do I really want a "real" relationship? Or do I want something else? If I want something else, then how can I get it?"

 

 

I also told him that I'm not someone whom he should come to advice for when it comes to monogamous relationship issues, so he should still take my words with a grain of salt. I asked him how many couples he knew of who had a relationship that he wanted. He only named one relationship, and that relationship is less than a year old. SMH. Even my most rational friends can still be idiots sometimes.

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77yLQy8.png

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One of my closest friends is about to break up with his girlfriend of 5 years for similar reasons. I'll tell you the same thing I told him:

 

You're both acting like completely normal humans and you both are getting upset with each other for not living up to an idealized, unrealistic expectation of how you two "should" behave. This is what a real relationship looks like. If you don't like it, that's nothing to feel bad about. It's completely normal.

 

The question you need to ask yourself is, "If this is what a real relationship looks like, then do I really want a "real" relationship? Or do I want something else? If I want something else, then how can I get it?"

 

 

I also told him that I'm not someone whom he should come to advice for when it comes to monogamous relationship issues, so he should still take my words with a grain of salt. I asked him how many couples he knew of who had a relationship that he wanted. He only named one relationship, and that relationship is less than a year old. SMH. Even my most rational friends can still be idiots sometimes.

The thing is i've been in relationships before where there was a lot more trust. Actually, when i was with her the first time (before we both went to different states for Uni) things were different. I would go out with my female friends and she would never bat an eye. She didn't really know any of them either. She just didn't say anything. It's just ever since we got back together. I'm not sure if an ex cheated on her or something, we don't talk about that kind of stuff (i have no interest to hear about her past boyfriends to be honest). But yeah, some of my other relationships were a lot different. A lot more trust, even in the young stages of the relationship. Generally it should be different. Trust should come with time, not get less with time.

And when it comes to what i want... Well i don't know what i'll want in the future, but right now i want what i currently have except WITH trust. She's really perfect for me otherwise.

This weekend was X-Games in Austin and for the first time ever they had competitive Call of Duty as an event. I love watching competitive CoD, so she spent the entire weekend with me, watching it with me. She tried getting into it as much as she could, got excited, etc. That's something i can't even do with my guy friends. 

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Trust usually doesn't degrade with time. It just gets harder to ignore your distrust.

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I've sorta got a trust issue at the moment. I've been with this guy for a while now but  neither of us has really gotten up and asked the other out. I think he's shy, but also I'm not only shy, but I don't wanna get into a relationship out of trust issues that he might get bored of me quickly and just move on like my ex did. My other big worry is if I cant find work soon there's a chance I'll be forced to move home, on the other side of the flipping country. Meaning not only will I lose him (because I'm not doing long distance again) but it'd also means I have to make new friends from scratch, and for someone who's shy, has anxiety and is an introvert at 23, that's a one-way death sentence to being miserably lonely.


Popoto.~<3

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Getting bored and moving on can happen just as easily outside a relationship as it can inside


polvCwJ.gif
"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Tim, there's no solution to your trust problem. There's always going to be a chance that someone you date will get bored or move on.
I don't mean to be rude since I don't know your circumstances, but I know that over here, you can get a job at Macdonalds while you look for work and it's pretty easy to quit. Is that an option for you?


Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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I've tried, as much as I hate McDonalds. They only hire under 18's these days because it's cheaper.


Popoto.~<3

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When someone starts going down on you but doesnt finish the job >.>


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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When someone starts going down on you but doesnt finish the job >.>

[hide]

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I've sorta got a trust issue at the moment. I've been with this guy for a while now but  neither of us has really gotten up and asked the other out. I think he's shy, but also I'm not only shy, but I don't wanna get into a relationship out of trust issues that he might get bored of me quickly and just move on like my ex did. My other big worry is if I cant find work soon there's a chance I'll be forced to move home, on the other side of the flipping country. Meaning not only will I lose him (because I'm not doing long distance again) but it'd also means I have to make new friends from scratch, and for someone who's shy, has anxiety and is an introvert at 23, that's a one-way death sentence to being miserably lonely.

 

Just do a job search for "sales" and look for the companies hiring people with no experience. If you just post your resume online and then send it out to all of the sales job postings, the ones who are looking for people like you will start leaving you voicemails trying to set up interviews. The catch is, it's probably gonna be 100% commission-based. So you'll force yourself to learn how to sell and make good money for the rest of your life, regardless of how the economy's doing.


77yLQy8.png

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Budy of mine got an offer at IBM halfway across the US (but he's a Korean Native, only studied on the East Coast) last year. Obviously he took it and has been happily living alone making 6 figures at 22 years old for about a year now. But he still texts me about this girl he met his first day at Rutgers. And now shes flying out to see him for 4 days and he can't get it through his head that no one flies halfway across the country just to hang out when theres been sexual tension for something like 5 years. Most successful kid I ever met...still doesn't understand the basics of female encounters....


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Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Reminds me a lot of those max level 'scapers that couldn't kill jad. Really all it ever took was just getting over your nerves and practicing it even if its a "waste of time".

 

Hopefully your buddy does the same if emotional relationships are something important to him.

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Me and my girlfriend went geocaching today. Well we kind of started at at like 2am and ended at 6am... and it gave us a lot of time to talk about our relationship. About everything. Everything that happened from the day she left to California 3 years ago till today. We opened up a lot of "chests" that we both wanted to keep shut because talking about it either hurt or angered one of us. Got it all out in the open. It went so much better than i would have ever expected. I don't know but for the first time ever i think we were able to be honest with each other about everything and neither of us got mad. And we talked about the whole trust issue and i think we came to an understanding about it as well.

Basically a few months ago (maybe Dec last year actually) she saw a message on my facebook from a girl i used to see in the US. It wasn't exactly an appropriate conversation to have with a girl when you have a girlfriend, and she told me that when i started acting really "protective" with my phone the past few days she kind of suspected that the same thing might have been happening again.

Basically what happened what i sent a girl a message on facebook saying happy birthday. She replied almost right away and we ended up having a conversation. She said that she saw i was back with my ex again. She knew about my ex because one night when we were on a date my ex actually called me, i rejected the call, she asked who it was, etc. So she (the girl i was on the date with) asked me who she was and if i was still seeing her. Explained to her that she was just my ex but we were still good friends. She's on the other side of the country and we keep in touch now and then.

So.... when she asked me about me being back with my ex again, she asked me if i was still with her at the time i was seeing her. I told her no, i dont do things that way. I really liked her, so i wasnt going to [bleep] around behind her back.

 

My girlfriend just saw a conversation full of likes, liked, like, etc. I'm guessing not the smartest thing i ever did.

 

So back to present. When she noticed me being dodgy with my phone she thought the same thing might have been going on. Thats why she wanted to check. But all she found were 3 un-replied messages from 2 different girls i knew back in the US.

And then i explained to her why i was being weird with my phone. Basically i'd lock it whenever she came in the room. I did this because i always got annoyed at her always being on her phone, so i guess practice your own preach? She knows my lock code anyway so it's not like i was trying to hide anything from her. I just prefer spending time actually talking to her or watching a movie with her than being on my phone. And i guess this made sense to her. 

So in a way i feel like we actually resolved things.

Theres a lot of history between me and her i don't really feel like discussing on here but things some people on here might know cause im sure i mentioned it in the past, but we just have a different kind of "connection" because of that. So when we both manage to stop being stubborn and actually sit down and talk its so easy to just clear thing sup and i guess give each other some reassurance again.

 

 

Sorry if this post has been hard to read its currently  9:30 and i've not seen sleep in 30ish hours.

Night.

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"For every 6 months a man dates a girl, he loses 6 friends"

 

Something a friend of mine said to me the other night. Resonated real hard.


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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"For every 6 months a man dates a girl, he loses 6 friends"

 

Something a friend of mine said to me the other night. Resonated real hard.

Lol i've actually made more friends the past year, that's strange. My gf always encourages me to go out and meet other "friends" cause i'm not exactly the guy that likes having a lot of friends.

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"For every 6 months a man dates a girl, he loses 6 friends"

 

Something a friend of mine said to me the other night. Resonated real hard.

By this logic I'd have -8 friends.


Luck be a Lady

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That is somewhat true. Pretty much went so with my former best mate and by now, former roommate for a year. Got a girl, pretty much fell in love, still dating, didn't go out at all anymore and rejected almost any invitation to hang out with anyone else.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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