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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


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I felt like shit yesterday. Did a dozen laps in mario kart - felt great afterward. Endorphins are the [bleep]

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Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
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my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

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So um.

 

What do I do if I feel like a relationship is going too fast?

10:53 PM - retech9691: I feel the need
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10:53 PM - Resistance: You mean plotholes?

 

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Let your partner know! If you cant tell them how you feel it may be a fast relationship beginning AND end.

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So my friend is in quite the pickle. Him and his girlfriend have been fighting this entire weekend. About shit i'm not 100% sure of. But as far as i could make out, she's been talking to this guy on whatsapp a lot. Like a lot. It's nothing weird, he was just asking her relationship advice. He's engaged to get married to a girl he's never met, and he wanted advice. Or something like that. Apparently my friend went through her phone, because he suspected something. He found their message log (this is how he knows about it). She sent him 3 pictures of herself. Again, nothing crazy, just pictures showing the guy her different hairstyles over the past few months. But either way, i personally find it quite inappropriate to do what she was doing while you're in a relationship.

 

So last night we went out for a few drinks. My, my girlfriend, him and his girlfriend. She got a bit drunk and started talking to my girlfriend about her and her boyfriend. She was telling her about how she would never have the passion for him that she had for her ex. But he takes good care of her, and hes a good provider. And she loves that about him. She said something along the lines of "When we're in bed together the fact that he takes care of me so well turns me on. Security is a big thing to me". Something like that, i'm not 100% sure about what exactly she said.

 

Now she's known to say and do a few stupid things when she's drunk. So i told my friend that personally i wouldn't react on it straight away, i'd "confront" her about what she said first. Try and find out exactly what's going on. But chances are that's how she really feels. In which case it's probably in his best interest to break up with her. 

She's not going to leave him, because he's a good provider. But he might have to live with knowing she's never going to love him the way he loves her. Or maybe, eventually, she might. But is he willing to take that sort of risk?

 

What would you guys do in a situation like this?

 

I left out a lot of detail, just because i don't know the story 100%, but this is more or less the gist. 

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Well, what does "passion" exactly mean in this case? I feel like if it was just like sexual passion or something along those lines, that it wouldn't be the end of the world. If it means passion about the relationship or other person in general, there will be issues. I think that for a ltr feeling secure and happy is pretty important. Above all else, I do think that there should be some dialogue between the two of them.

 

But... We'll just wait for Muggi to pull the "dump her asap" card.

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“I had a feeling we weren’t coming back from this fight when it began.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“I don’t. It seems surprising, I know, but I wouldn’t change a thing. This is how it was meant to be.”

“Huh, you never really notice how lovely the day is until you realize you’ll never see it again.”

“Mmmhmm.”

 

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She sounds like a [bleep]. But they're all kinda like that I one way way or another.

 

Forst reaction to the story: he doesn't trust her. And no trust = no relationship

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

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Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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If the only incriminating evidence is 3 pictures of her showing off her hairstyles then I think the bigger issue there is that he's snooping through her phone. Those comments she made while drunk are pretty shitty things to say about someone though, but what he does about it depends on whether or not she actually means that or if she was making a bad joke.

 

Anyway my last date went great. We had a picnic in this park/fountain hybrid thing called the water gardens. I highly recommend to anyone having a picnic for a date because nearly every female friend I told about it thought having a picnic is the cutest thing in the world. You don't even need to do a lot for it. All I brought to eat was a vegetable platter, a watermelon, a pineapple, grapes, and strawberries and we played checkers and chess. She kissed me at the end of it which was surprising because she said that I'd have to wait for a third date to get a kiss. So with that we're pretty much together. Going to "officially" ask her to be my girlfriend with flowers in a couple of days.

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So my friend is in quite the pickle. Him and his girlfriend have been fighting this entire weekend. About shit i'm not 100% sure of. But as far as i could make out, she's been talking to this guy on whatsapp a lot. Like a lot. It's nothing weird, he was just asking her relationship advice. He's engaged to get married to a girl he's never met, and he wanted advice. Or something like that. Apparently my friend went through her phone, because he suspected something. He found their message log (this is how he knows about it). She sent him 3 pictures of herself. Again, nothing crazy, just pictures showing the guy her different hairstyles over the past few months. But either way, i personally find it quite inappropriate to do what she was doing while you're in a relationship.

 

So last night we went out for a few drinks. My, my girlfriend, him and his girlfriend. She got a bit drunk and started talking to my girlfriend about her and her boyfriend. She was telling her about how she would never have the passion for him that she had for her ex. But he takes good care of her, and hes a good provider. And she loves that about him. She said something along the lines of "When we're in bed together the fact that he takes care of me so well turns me on. Security is a big thing to me". Something like that, i'm not 100% sure about what exactly she said.

 

Now she's known to say and do a few stupid things when she's drunk. So i told my friend that personally i wouldn't react on it straight away, i'd "confront" her about what she said first. Try and find out exactly what's going on. But chances are that's how she really feels. In which case it's probably in his best interest to break up with her. 

She's not going to leave him, because he's a good provider. But he might have to live with knowing she's never going to love him the way he loves her. Or maybe, eventually, she might. But is he willing to take that sort of risk?

 

What would you guys do in a situation like this?

 

I left out a lot of detail, just because i don't know the story 100%, but this is more or less the gist. 

 

he should dump her asap because that wouldn't happen if it was polyamory :thumbup:

 

sounds like your friend's just boring her though. women love attention so that other guy she's talking to is just giving her free attention. that guy's probably in her friendzone anyway though so he probably shouldn't feel threatened by him (and he shouldn't be going through her message log either; two wrongs don't make a right).

 

and no I doubt she'll ever love him as much as she did her ex if she doesn't right now. passion rarely increases over the course of the relationship; it just starts out strong and then gradually fizzles out. this is why people allow themselves to remain in shitty relationships; because they have this false hope that eventually it'll somehow get better... and it never does

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[bleep] relationships and feelings man. I shoulda just stuck to being single and modestly happy

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Okay so he talked to her. She claims that my girlfriend is lying or she misunderstood what she was told. So i'm thinking that either his girlfriend is lying, or she was actually too drunk to realise what she was saying. I think it might be a combination of both. Funny thing is, he told me when he went over to talk to her today she made him out to be the criminal. Like he should have never believed anything anyone told him. That she loves him, and she's happy with him, etc. If she wasn't she wouldn't be with him. I don't know. I told him to do what he feels is right. He's confused right now. I guess it's understandable. I'd give it a week or two and see how things are then. Perhaps things might be different.

I actually told a friend of mine about this and he was saying that if you want to have a health relationship you need to learn how to deal with the things that annoy you, not change them. If you don't like her texting other people like that, then tell her it upsets you. But don't ask her to change. Because you're going to ask her to change, and she'll go back to doing the exact same thing once the two of you are comfortable again. I think it was solid advice. Don't try and change it, tell her how it makes you feel and if she wants to change it then she will. If she doesn't change it, obviously she doesn't care as much as you thought she did. And if that is the case, the answer should be very clear. 

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Pretty solid yeah, I dont think anyone's had a good time when someone is trying to change the other directly

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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So that relationship thing, right?

 

That worked out.

 

Still can't believe I have a girlfriend though.

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10:53 PM - retech9691: I feel the need
10:53 PM - retech9691: To include many chasms in my story arc
10:53 PM - Resistance: You mean plotholes?

 

Remember, Remember, the 4th of November

RIP Dawngate ;-;

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So that relationship thing, right?

 

That worked out.

 

Still can't believe I have a girlfriend though.

I remember the feeling. It's a nice feeling.

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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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So my friend is in quite the pickle. Him and his girlfriend have been fighting this entire weekend. About shit i'm not 100% sure of. But as far as i could make out, she's been talking to this guy on whatsapp a lot. Like a lot. It's nothing weird, he was just asking her relationship advice. He's engaged to get married to a girl he's never met, and he wanted advice. Or something like that. Apparently my friend went through her phone, because he suspected something. He found their message log (this is how he knows about it). She sent him 3 pictures of herself. Again, nothing crazy, just pictures showing the guy her different hairstyles over the past few months. But either way, i personally find it quite inappropriate to do what she was doing while you're in a relationship.

 

So last night we went out for a few drinks. My, my girlfriend, him and his girlfriend. She got a bit drunk and started talking to my girlfriend about her and her boyfriend. She was telling her about how she would never have the passion for him that she had for her ex. But he takes good care of her, and hes a good provider. And she loves that about him. She said something along the lines of "When we're in bed together the fact that he takes care of me so well turns me on. Security is a big thing to me". Something like that, i'm not 100% sure about what exactly she said.

 

Now she's known to say and do a few stupid things when she's drunk. So i told my friend that personally i wouldn't react on it straight away, i'd "confront" her about what she said first. Try and find out exactly what's going on. But chances are that's how she really feels. In which case it's probably in his best interest to break up with her. 

She's not going to leave him, because he's a good provider. But he might have to live with knowing she's never going to love him the way he loves her. Or maybe, eventually, she might. But is he willing to take that sort of risk?

 

What would you guys do in a situation like this?

 

I left out a lot of detail, just because i don't know the story 100%, but this is more or less the gist. 

 

Am I the only person who seems absolutely nothing wrong with her talking to this guy? She's talking to him via a purely electronic medium without (at least what it looks like from what I read) any romantic or sexual subtext to it. Even if you do believe 100% in monogamy (which, for the record, is my personal choice) I see nothing wrong with someone having friends of the opposite sex, so long as they are just friends.

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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People of opposite genders can never be real friends. Unless there's a crazy circumstance of being raised as brother and sister or something

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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So my friend is in quite the pickle. Him and his girlfriend have been fighting this entire weekend. About shit i'm not 100% sure of. But as far as i could make out, she's been talking to this guy on whatsapp a lot. Like a lot. It's nothing weird, he was just asking her relationship advice. He's engaged to get married to a girl he's never met, and he wanted advice. Or something like that. Apparently my friend went through her phone, because he suspected something. He found their message log (this is how he knows about it). She sent him 3 pictures of herself. Again, nothing crazy, just pictures showing the guy her different hairstyles over the past few months. But either way, i personally find it quite inappropriate to do what she was doing while you're in a relationship.

 

So last night we went out for a few drinks. My, my girlfriend, him and his girlfriend. She got a bit drunk and started talking to my girlfriend about her and her boyfriend. She was telling her about how she would never have the passion for him that she had for her ex. But he takes good care of her, and hes a good provider. And she loves that about him. She said something along the lines of "When we're in bed together the fact that he takes care of me so well turns me on. Security is a big thing to me". Something like that, i'm not 100% sure about what exactly she said.

 

Now she's known to say and do a few stupid things when she's drunk. So i told my friend that personally i wouldn't react on it straight away, i'd "confront" her about what she said first. Try and find out exactly what's going on. But chances are that's how she really feels. In which case it's probably in his best interest to break up with her. 

She's not going to leave him, because he's a good provider. But he might have to live with knowing she's never going to love him the way he loves her. Or maybe, eventually, she might. But is he willing to take that sort of risk?

 

What would you guys do in a situation like this?

 

I left out a lot of detail, just because i don't know the story 100%, but this is more or less the gist. 

 

Am I the only person who seems absolutely nothing wrong with her talking to this guy? She's talking to him via a purely electronic medium without (at least what it looks like from what I read) any romantic or sexual subtext to it. Even if you do believe 100% in monogamy (which, for the record, is my personal choice) I see nothing wrong with someone having friends of the opposite sex, so long as they are just friends.

 

I think the issue was how much they were talking, and that it would be at strange hours. Like she was telling me they would be talking till like 3am, or he would be calling her at 3am, ect. I don't know if that's really appropriate. I don't know how i would feel about that.

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People of opposite genders can never be real friends. Unless there's a crazy circumstance of being raised as brother and sister or something

 

I partially agree... I'd say that people of opposite genders can only be real friends as long as you're sleeping with them (unless both of you are genuinely unattracted to each other permanently for whatever reason)

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I think the issue was how much they were talking, and that it would be at strange hours. Like she was telling me they would be talking till like 3am, or he would be calling her at 3am, ect. I don't know if that's really appropriate. I don't know how i would feel about that.*SNIP*

 

 

I think the biggest issue on this topic is just the difference between countries/cultures. From where I'm standing I see little wrong with it, but from where Noxx is standing, even if he is progressive, he lives in a country where not to long ago a cultural norm would have been needing a family member in the room for a women to date.

(sorry if I am completely off centre but am using general knowledge of similiar, but hardcore, countries in that region and presuming Qatar is much more progressive)

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I think the issue was how much they were talking, and that it would be at strange hours. Like she was telling me they would be talking till like 3am, or he would be calling her at 3am, ect. I don't know if that's really appropriate. I don't know how i would feel about that.*SNIP*


 

 

I think the biggest issue on this topic is just the difference between countries/cultures. From where I'm standing I see little wrong with it, but from where Noxx is standing, even if he is progressive, he lives in a country where not to long ago a cultural norm would have been needing a family member in the room for a women to date.

(sorry if I am completely off centre but am using general knowledge of similiar, but hardcore, countries in that region and presuming Qatar is much more progressive)

 

Well i'm South African so that doesn't really apply to me. But i guess i consider myself a semi-conservative person. I wouldn't like my wife talking to some guy at like 3 am, whether it's by phone or text. I just don't think that it's an appropriate time. Personally i feel her talking to him probably isn't the biggest issue, the picture sending probably isn't bad either (i'm sure theres a reason for it), it's just the time that would be a bit of an issue for me.

Also, apparently this guy owed her money from one night they went out and she had to pay for him to get into the club. He came to her house to give her the money back. Again, he chose to do it at 2am or something. he showed up without the money and she had to drive to the ATM with him to go get it. I just feel like these are the kind of things you don't do with a guy and then "hide" it from your boyfriend. She basically told him that he brought her the money at 2am. She didn't tell him she had to drive with him to go get it. She was being dishonest and sneaky about a few things the past week or two, ever since she and this guy started talking more often. 

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She's either terrified of your buddy, or totally banging that other guy, let's be real

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Also, apparently this guy owed her money from one night they went out and she had to pay for him to get into the club. He came to her house to give her the money back. Again, he chose to do it at 2am or something. he showed up without the money and she had to drive to the ATM with him to go get it. I just feel like these are the kind of things you don't do with a guy and then "hide" it from your boyfriend. She basically told him that he brought her the money at 2am. She didn't tell him she had to drive with him to go get it. She was being dishonest and sneaky about a few things the past week or two, ever since she and this guy started talking more often. 

 

 

She's either terrified of your buddy, or totally banging that other guy, let's be real

This.

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People of opposite genders can never be real friends. Unless there's a crazy circumstance of being raised as brother and sister or something

 

I partially agree... I'd say that people of opposite genders can only be real friends as long as you're sleeping with them (unless both of you are genuinely unattracted to each other permanently for whatever reason)

 

 

Hmm. Generally, I think it's easier for girls to view guys as just friends whereas guys have trouble viewing a girl as just a friend. Which is where the friendzone comes from.

 

I have a good female friend I met in highschool; we're just friends and we're only ever going to be just friends. A huge part of this, however, is how in highschool she had both of us convinced she was asexual...

 

It doesn't make sense to me that people of opposite genders can only be real friends as long as you're sleeping with them though. My limited understand on this subject has led me to the viewpoint that, well, the human brain is almost incapable of treating sex as just sex. (Especially for both parties to treat it as such.) Sex changes the dynamics of the relationship.

 

@Noxx: Your second explanation of the situation gives a very, very different sounding story then the first.

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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squabharpy.png
Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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