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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios
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You're probably in the friend zone but regardless if you actually are or not, that's irrelevant. Unless you're 100% certain that you'll bump into her in person (i.e. you have a class with her or something), just shoot her a text and ask her if she wants to go grab drinks or coffee with you. If she says yes, cool. If she says no, cool, you move on to the next woman. But either way, regardless of whether she's into you or not, at that point you will have certainty. And by having certainty, all of your stress and anxiety about this will instantly vanish. Ask me how I know :P

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You're probably in the friend zone but regardless if you actually are or not, that's irrelevant. Unless you're 100% certain that you'll bump into her in person (i.e. you have a class with her or something), just shoot her a text and ask her if she wants to go grab drinks or coffee with you. If she says yes, cool. If she says no, cool, you move on to the next woman. But either way, regardless of whether she's into you or not, at that point you will have certainty. And by having certainty, all of your stress and anxiety about this will instantly vanish. Ask me how I know :P

Girls don't give out their numbers to random dudes to be friends. Either she's interested in him or he'll be the creepy guy who keeps texting her

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I just texted her this morning asking if she was at school, but she hasn't responded yet (I doubt she will at this point). I don't want to be "the creepy guy who keeps texting her", but I also don't want to wait too long. If I do go with your plan, should I try to start a conversation first, or should I just ask out of the blue?

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Nothing to lose. Ask her out via phone call. Thats why you have her number right? Longer you wait the worse your odds are. Sounds like you at least HAD a shot. Its not too late to try

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I just texted her this morning asking if she was at school, but she hasn't responded yet (I doubt she will at this point). I don't want to be "the creepy guy who keeps texting her", but I also don't want to wait too long. If I do go with your plan, should I try to start a conversation first, or should I just ask out of the blue?

Well, you'd want to make sure she's around when you ask. It'd be kinda awkward to turn on your phone after an exam and see that someone asked you out. If she doesn't reply this time, then you should move on.

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I asked her out today. Well, I asked her if she was doing anything this weekend. If she said no, I would have asked her out, but I think she figured that part out and lied and said she had to pick up her sister (who she previously said only lives 2 hours away, meaning there's no way that would take the whole weekend) and then I said "I guess that means you're busy next week too", to which she replied that she had school. This is the second time I've been rejected. I should have taken your advice and not tried. You were wrong about the stress and anxiety going away, though. I feel terrible.

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You're right. It's so much better to stay at home, look at porn, and never touch a real woman.

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Mate, just because you've been rejected twice doesn't mean jack shit. You probably are not going to have success the first few times. It took me to ask 9 different women on dates/dances which I was rejected for all of them. I even had to ask my current girlfriend 3 times to just go on a date with me. Rejection makes you  stronger and experiencing rejection makes you realize what you need to do differently. 

 

It sucks getting rejecting and you'll probably be sad. Having said that, it is soooo much better than the anxiety of not knowing. 

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I asked her out today. Well, I asked her if she was doing anything this weekend. If she said no, I would have asked her out, but I think she figured that part out and lied and said she had to pick up her sister (who she previously said only lives 2 hours away, meaning there's no way that would take the whole weekend) and then I said "I guess that means you're busy next week too", to which she replied that she had school. This is the second time I've been rejected. I should have taken your advice and not tried. You were wrong about the stress and anxiety going away, though. I feel terrible.

 

Give it a week or two then. Maybe a month, max. I doubt you'll still feel terrible by then.

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That's not really a good reason to want a girlfriend. And to be honest if you ever find yourself saying "i want a girlfriend" then you should already know that you're not "ready" for a girlfriend. It's not the kind of thing you should actively find yourself looking for. It's something that should just happen naturally. That's why they call it "falling in love" and not "planning in love". No one plans to fall, it's something that happens unexpectedly. This should be your philosophy with relationships as well.

 

Chances are, with your current mindset, if you do find a girlfriend or someone with girlfriend potential, you're going to drive her away with your seemingly needy attitude.

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Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will.

 

What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it?

Do you like yourself?

 

Give me 5 things you like about yourself?

 

Sorry if this reply seems harsh/stupid, but it sounds to me like you might have some psychological problems and that you need to learn to love yourself first.

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Not only that but you're also more likely to tolerate a shitty relationship if you can't handle being single.

 

Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will.

 

What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it?

 

I'd recommend this to every beginner out there: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOv1T6i-23oFUYtYCUhpyUtqZd2tv9iKb

 

It does wonders for your mindset and self-esteem.

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Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will.

 

What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it?

 

Don't look to someone to solve your issues (self worth and need to feel loved). Find a way to solve those then find someone enjoy your happiness with.

 

How can you solve these? Look to your relationships with people who love you like your family - express gratitude for how they've helped you along in life and make an effort to get closer to them, get closer to your existing friends - invite them to events with you or tell them a secret, look to therapists if you have additional issues (they are professionals who are there to help you, theres no shame in going to them!), etc.

 

Don't go to a girl and have her fix your baggage. 

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I feel like I'm hijacking this thread. Would any of you mind talking to me over PM (or anywhere else)?

I wouldn't worry about that. This is why this thread is here. We often focus on 1 individual at a time.

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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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