Jump to content

"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios
 Share

Recommended Posts

I see, I guess you guys aren't here to help me then. Forget I asked anything.

I think the point people are trying to make is that it's easy to over-analyze these things. Often times the simple method is the best.

polvCwJ.gif
"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Perhaps my point was missed in my overly concise response. But to be able to understand what youre asking us for would allow me to be of more help. I jave no context for your situation. The answer to "when is it appropriate to tell someone i like them in a crush kind of way" is a conditional answer. Universally id say the best answer to this question is "ASAP" . But that is only entirely absolutely true if no other details are given. What is your relation to this person? How did you meet? How long ago? What is your interaction commonly like? How old are you and the other party? What culture do you love amongst?

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nah, you are misunderstanding me, Low; I met him online.

I'm not really comfortable with asking someone about their relationship status, because that's fairly personal information, and I think a lot of people would feel offended if somebody asked personal questions like that right off the bat.

If I ask him if he's single, it's pretty much guaranteed he would know why I ask. Don't want him to feel like I'm going too fast... give it enough time to let the both of us know more about each other, you know.

 

Men don't understand subtle hints. Tell him how you feel in the plainest words possible.

 

I'd be shocked if he got offended that you asked his relationship status. "How dare you LIKE ME?!" Hell most guys get flattered when gay men hit on them, I think you're in the clear.

 

The guy might not even understand that you like him from your asking his relationship status. In fact, it's a high possibility. Subtlety doesn't work.

2480+ total

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have no idea, how oblivious I have been all this time about all that.

Just [bleep]ing ask.

 

Or, like a Nike commercial,

 

JUST DO IT!

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aaand I have ended up with a pretty girl... Who is a bit on the smaller side. In fact she probably fits in my backpack.

In my custom-made backpack that can hold 140 litres and was built with metal frame n shit and is meant for longer than week long hikes.

But still, she is pretty small and cute.

Only thing is, we are both pretty shy, especially in bed, so I don't know how to get things going.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I too am a fan of backpacking, but who uses external frame backpacks these days?

19509_s.gif

 

“I had a feeling we weren’t coming back from this fight when it began.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“I don’t. It seems surprising, I know, but I wouldn’t change a thing. This is how it was meant to be.”

“Huh, you never really notice how lovely the day is until you realize you’ll never see it again.”

“Mmmhmm.”

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Only thing is, we are both pretty shy, especially in bed, so I don't know how to get things going.

You're the man, take the lead. Encourage her to express herself, try different things and calibrate with her reactions.

 

If you're awkward then she will feel awkward. If you're comfortable she will be too. No means no, but otherwise do what you want to her.

 

Also keep in mind that with women, it's all about creating the right vibe and environment. It's more mental than physical. A few women have asked me how do I seem to know exactly what they want and even knowing speed and pressure and finding "special spots." The truth is I'm just dominant and whatever I do seems like a good idea to them. (Hopefully that makes sense)

 

sex god method isn't too bad of a skim through. Lots of stuff in there I think is off target or bullshit so take it with a grain of salt but the gist is good.

 

Also tease her, do it more than you think is appropriate. My girlfriend told me that a few guys shes been with said they liked to tease but didn't end up doing it much but that I certainly did. Sometimes she swears at me and hits me because I'm not giving her what she wants but thanks me afterwards.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sup everyone. haven't posted on tif for a few weeks. here's where i was about a month and a half ago:

 

[hide]

So, here I am again. With a situation that's pretty significantly different from my last one (the whole thing with the girl who had a boyfriend. It was a quick casual thing and we never contacted each other again and I don't care lol. She was kind of crazy). This post will hopefully help me clear my mind and put the situation in perspective. Also welcoming any input/advice/whatever.

 

 

 

About a month ago I started chatting with this girl on Tinder. We exchanged numbers, casually texted back and forth for a week or so before hanging out for the first time, which was like 3 weeks ago (seems longer). It wasn't established as being a "date" or anything, we both just seemed like cool people to each other and wanted to meet each other. I was the only person she's ever met off Tinder, it was really a big coincidence that it even happened in the first place. We both just had a couple beers and walked around downtown at night talking, goofing around, skateboarding, etc. We ended up learning that we have an insane amount of stuff in common. We're both psych majors, both have the exact same Myers-Briggs personality type, both enjoy weird goofy humor (like the Eric Andre Show), among a ton of other weird little coincidences. She's incredibly easy to talk to, like I don't think I've ever talked to a girl where we could just talk for hours without it getting awkward in the slightest. She's lived an incredibly interesting life and has all sorts of awesome stories. Oh, I also find her very physically attractive.

 

Needless to say, I'm completely infatuated. We've hung out two other times, the latest being a couple days ago. It was pretty similar to the first time we hung out, we got drunk and walked around and talked for hours. We ended up going back to her place and smoking cigarettes by the beach, talking more. It got really late and I didn't have any good way to get back home, so I stayed the night at her place, which she was fine with offering. It's worth noting that all the while leading up to this we still both just seemed to consider each other friends. That whole night hanging out we both seemed to be pretty flirty, and the majority of it was on her part. Nothing super obvious, just brief-ish arm and leg touches and stuff. We fell asleep in the same bed together, again with a lot of physical closeness but nothing expressing explicit romance (also to be fair it was a really big bed so it's not like we were exactly cuddling). 

 

I know that at this point in the story, it might seem like the obvious response is "dude you were in the same bed, she was being kind of flirty, and you like her, why didn't you make a move?" Believe me, I've asked myself the same thing. But I think it goes back to the infatuation thing. I'm at this point where I'm so infatuated with her as a person that I didn't have the balls to just be like "[bleep] it, I don't care if I get rejected, I could get over it pretty quick." If she'd rejected me, I probably would've been pretty [bleep]in' crushed. It'd be nice to have that closure, but our friendship that we both value would've been significantly more awkward, if it didn't just end right then and there. It's kind of a double edged sword though even if she did want to pursue something with me. I'm only here in Seattle until June for school until I go back home for the summer, and next fall she's entering college somewhere in California, so if we were to have a "thing," whatever that might be, it'd just be for like 3 months. She recently broke up with a long-term boyfriend of hers due to distance, so it's not like realistically we'd be able to last.

 

She's going back to California for like a week or something to get her wisdom teeth removed, but I can only assume we'll hang out again not long after she gets back. After rambling up to this point, the only conclusion I'm coming to is that next time we meet up I should just explain to her my feelings (in a more articulate, less needy-sounding way than this post haha). Weighing the costs and benefits here, I think there'd be a lot more long term self-loathing if I never told her how I felt and there was this weird sexual tension between us before drifting apart than I would if I just got flat-out denied. And of course there's always the chance that she reciprocates my feelings, which would be great (up until we'd stop seeing each other after a few months but OH WELL). 

 

 

 

As you can tell by now, I overanalyze shit way too much. It's weird with girls, I'm either fine with hooking up, have pretty high self-confidence and I don't get attached at all or I fall desperately into the snares of 'oneitis' and doubt everything I do, which I'm experiencing now. There never seems to be an in-between. But this post helped confirm that I just gotta grow a pair and let her know how I feel rather than deal with this anxiety and lack of closure forever. Anyways, thanks to anyone who read this and wants to give any input, it was cathartic for me at least.

[/hide]

 

and then there's where i am now, in case anyone's curious. it's kind of weird looking back on that post and seeing how much i cared, but it's not like i regret it really cuz my feelings were genuine.

 

 

so yeah, things with that girl progressed. wish i'd made a move sooner rather than later, but alas that's another good lesson from this whole thing. we kissed for the first time last week and we had sex a couple days ago. lots of mixed emotions about it, i'm simultaneously stoked about it because she's gorgeous and a really interesting awesome person, but i'm also just sorta ... bummed i guess? because of the fact that i know this thing has an expiration date of less than 2 months on it, since i move back home at the end of the quarter. i kind of wish we could do the whole relationship thing even just for now, but i think we both know that just wouldn't really work. i also just seem to have more feelings for her than she does for me, but i think i'm good in terms of not showing neediness, however much i may feel it.

 

 

i'm planning on just continuing what we have and seeing where it goes. i already know i'm gonna get pretty bummed when it's over, so i guess i'm just trying to deal with those feelings now so they sting less later. but i also am just trying to enjoy the present moment as much as i can, because what i have is pretty objectively great from any outsider's perspective. i'd like to have a more serious conversation with her about where things stand though, because i hate all the grey area of this whole situation.

 

 

overall i'm just trying to look at this as a really good learning experience/confidence booster, as much as it'll suck when it's done. but if anyone has any related experience, advice, input, whatever, feel free to throw it at me!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're still way ahead of the average Joe, good job.

 

Keep using Tinder and keep dating as much as you can while you're seeing her. If you aren't making her orgasm every time you bang, that should be your highest priority.

 

That way, when she's gone in a couple of months, you'll have a new mindset: "It's really easy to meet hot women like her" and "It's really easy to be sexual around women because women like having sex with me." Most guys have the opposite belief of "dating's really difficult and scary, and I'll never find another girl like this one" and "sex is really awkward" etc

77yLQy8.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.