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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios
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Man, [bleep] marriage. I keep seeing everyone else's relationships fail, and I'm reminded why I'm never wanting children or a marriage.

Marriage just isn't compatible with how humans are, it goes against human nature. Humans are not by design, monogamous. And to claim anything otherwise is just lying to yourself.

I was going to eat hot dogs for dinner tonight. I think I will settle for cereal.

 

OPEN WIDE HERE COMES THE HELICOPTER.

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I am deeply considering whether to end everything with me girl tomorrow or not.

Thing is, I'll be gone for 2 and a half months.

And she is a smoking hot girl and I know plenty who want her.

She seems out of my league and I feel bad for other guys.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Just tell her that since you'll be gone for 2 and a half months you're both free to see other people and you wish her the best. Try to minimize contact with her during this time and then contact her again when you return. If she's still available, you can pick things up where you left off. If she's unavailable, just replace her.

 

If you've remained non-needy since you started seeing her and you continue to remain non-needy while you're gone (in other words, don't text her every [bleep]ing day telling her how much you miss her), then even if she ends up with someone else, she'll always be an option again in the distant future when she gets bored of her new guy :P

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In other news, I've been focusing on gaining some weight to make my "first impressions" with girls easier. I'm about 5'8, 125 lbs but I'm damn proud of my body since I'm pretty damn strong for my size and I look great with my shirt off. I'm just hoping I can maintain the same "proportions" up to about 150-160 lbs. I'll be pissed if I get fat and lose my years of hard work lol

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In other news, I've been focusing on gaining some weight to make my "first impressions" with girls easier. I'm about 5'8, 125 lbs but I'm damn proud of my body since I'm pretty damn strong for my size and I look great with my shirt off. I'm just hoping I can maintain the same "proportions" up to about 150-160 lbs. I'll be pissed if I get fat and lose my years of hard work lol

 

Start doing Starting Strength or Stronglifts 5x5 or GreySkull LP rather than exclusively benching like you've mentioned before in the sports forum and i'd be very impressed if you managed to put on any fat over the muscle gains lol. 2 months on Starting Strength has already made a visible difference, and I probably have much more body fat obscuring things lol (5'4" and 140ish lbs here)

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Yeah I've been doing 5x5 bench, squats, deads, and OHP for a while now. Bench is just the only one I'm passionate about and look forward to. The other exercises are just there to keep my bench from getting extremely out of proportion lol. Just today I squatted as much as I bench for the first time >_>

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Yeah I've been doing 5x5 bench, squats, deads, and OHP for a while now. Bench is just the only one I'm passionate about and look forward to. The other exercises are just there to keep my bench from getting extremely out of proportion lol. Just today I squatted as much as I bench for the first time >_>

Man, I hate bench. I have long arms...I'm blaming that for me sucking at it. I can't imagine benching what I squat.

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Yeah I've been doing 5x5 bench, squats, deads, and OHP for a while now. Bench is just the only one I'm passionate about and look forward to. The other exercises are just there to keep my bench from getting extremely out of proportion lol. Just today I squatted as much as I bench for the first time >_>

Man, I hate bench. I have long arms...I'm blaming that for me sucking at it. I can't imagine benching what I squat.

 

 

Well the only reason I love bench is because the guys who taught me how to lift back in 2008 could bench double their bodyweight and it was their favorite lift, so that just rubbed off on me. The first workout they gave me included benching 3x a week too >_> lol

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I didn't know Muggi was a skinny "short" guy :P (According to the tip.it Height Survey)

 

Hell yeah. My height has never really bothered me though since most women are about 5'5 or shorter. I'm shorter than most of my male friends but taller than all of the women I know, and that's really all that matters as far as dating goes :P

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Went on a Tinder date w/ a feminist somehow. She does slam poetry about gamergate :P Nice girl, we got along pretty well but she's pretty sex-negative and was unreceptive to kino and stuff. I did have fun trolling her for a while after I concluded that the date wasn't going to go anywhere though lol

 

Here's how I scheduled the date anyways:

 

Me: You look like trouble

 

Her: Do I now? How so?

 

Me: Non-smoking church-going pescetarians are always trouble. :) [a reference to her profile description] Did you do anything exciting today?

 

Her: If that's the case people clearly don't know what they're missing out on. And I went to a book signing, and on a pretty meh date. Other than that, not anything others would call exciting. How about yourself?

 

Me: I robbed a bank. Nothing too exciting. What was meh about your date?

 

Her: I'm going to ignore the "exciting" part of your day... seeing as I am a banker. The conversation was great. Then he went on a 10 minute rant on how Christianity wasn't necessary and God was basically useless... And seeing as how I'm a Christian... Kind of struck a cord. And I had to pay for my own drinks.

 

Me: Wow what a bro. Can you give me his number??? I laughed out loud as I sent this; I just wanted to see how she'd react :lol:

 

Her: Haha no, I don't do vengeful. Plus, I already told him friendship was as far as it would go. Although I appreciate the gesture. Other than robbing a bank, did you have a good day? I think she misunderstood my remark :( oh well

 

Me: Yeah I got to read by the pool for a bit so that was nice. We should hang out sometime. I'm about to go to bed but shoot me a text if you want to meet up for drinks this weekend. xxx.xxx.xxxx

 

 

She messaged me the next day and I scheduled a coffee date for that afternoon and we met up. Like I said-- cute girl, fun to talk to, but not DTF (at least not with me :P) so I won't be seeing her again.

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Man, [bleep] marriage. I keep seeing everyone else's relationships fail, and I'm reminded why I'm never wanting children or a marriage.

 

Marriage just isn't compatible with how humans are, it goes against human nature. Humans are not by design, monogamous. And to claim anything otherwise is just lying to yourself.

 

I completely disagree with you. Making marriages work requires effort, work, commitment, planning and growth. What you need to do to make a marriage work is something most couples don't do and that society doesn't teach.

 

You know what I really think human nature is? The ability to change your nature. The ability to go "this is how I am, this is how I was raised, this is what society teaches me, but screw all that I'm gonna do something else." A successful monogamous lifestyle, or the successful polyamourous lifestyle muggi talks about, requires figuring out what values you need to live by in order to achieve the results you want, and living by those values no matter how you feel.

 

There's also something to be said for association. If you are actually interested in marriage and kids, start reading books written by successful married people with children and look for people with successful marriages. If 50% of marriages fail, 50% of marriages stay together. Now I'm not nearly stupid enough to think that all of the 50% of marriages that don't end are successful marriages, but what if say half of marriages that don't end are successful? Then figure out what those people are doing. (And yes I'm aware that it could very well be less then half but my point still stands.)

 

Now if you honestly value other things in life then marriage and kids then kudos to you, stay single without kids. (Looks at muggi.) But don't let the relationship failures of others prevent you from having a relationsihp.

 

oh and @ muggi again: why the hell is that girl on tinder? does she not understand that tinder is basically an app to find a ****buddy?

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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Yes. If people in the past have made successful marriages work, I see no reason why people these days cannot. It would need to vary to suit individual couple's needs, of course.

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


7ApdH.png
squabharpy.png
Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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Well off the top of my head, Stephen R. Covey, author of 7 Habits of High Effective People and Dave Ramsey, author of More Than Enough, are successful men with successful marriages. Those books i mentioned are books I have read and own that talk about success in life in general, including marital success.

 

The 5 Love Languages (a series of books all based pretty much on the same premise) by Gary Chapman is also a great read if you're looking at making a monogamous relationship work. Tbh it's a good read regardless since the advice is applicable to most, if not all relationships you have. And a little internet digging reveals he's been married for 45 years.

 

A lot of what I've read on success seems to boil down to "find people who have the results you want, figure out what they did and copy it." If you go looking you can find people with successful marriages.

 

Beyond that, I've read that relationships require time; get your finances to a place where you're secure and where you have time for each other. Dave Ramsey's book speaks of a couple that spent a few years working on trimming down their debt and their lifestyle so the wife could be a stay at home mom, and they live off of 55k a year roughly, down from ~100k/year combined income. It's interesting that good financial advice and good marriage advice are often the exact same thing. (Another thing emphasized in that book is saving up a bunch of money in a savings account at the bank and leaving that money alone so that you have a security blanket for just in case.)

 

Another good tidbit is that quality time is a lie - the best form of quality time is quantity time.

 

So yeah this isn't quite as, well, obvious for lack of a better phrase, as BDs posts on polyamoury but it's a start.

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


7ApdH.png
squabharpy.png
Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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Those guys got married in completely different eras... Covey got married back in the 1950s dude!

 

You're either stuck taking outdated advice from guys who got married decades ago, or taking advice from modern guys who haven't been married long enough to tell whether or not their advice actually works. And even if the advice is valid and you follow it perfectly, like I said earlier it's only half the battle since you can't control your wife. So you're basically gambling, hoping that your wife never changes and she follows through on her promises for the next several decades of her life or else you're screwed.

 

But anyways. What do those books say about keeping sex interesting for the next 50 years of your life? What are you supposed to do when your wife "doesn't feel like it?" The only real solution to a problem like this is to have a very low sex drive to begin with, such that a lack of sex genuinely doesn't affect your happiness. But for the average person with an average (or higher) sex drive? They're in big trouble.

 

Sex aside, what about if/when one of you gets a dream job offer in another city but the other doesn't want to move? In such an event, there has to be some form of sacrifice involved. And when it comes to things like that, your happiness cannot be your #1 priority if you want the relationship to "work." But if you're sacrificing happiness in order to make it work... then is it actually working? I don't believe so. After all, what's the point of doing something if it doesn't make you consistently happy in the long run? Your goal, should you choose to get married, shouldn't be to have a high number of wedding anniversaries; it should be consistent happiness regardless of marriage duration.

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You're either stuck taking outdated advice from guys who got married decades ago, or taking advice from modern guys who haven't been married long enough to tell whether or not their advice actually works.

It seems to me this criticism is vague enough that it can apply to any marriage. It's an easy way to discredit them without having to provide any tangible reason.

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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On topic of heights, I know a few girls who are over 6 feet.

 

And well, I tower over pretty much everyone everywhere. But I do know a few guys taller than I am.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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