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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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Perhaps you guys are right and I'm just paranoid.

 

I'm just afraid that she's going to flake and that the interest wasn't genuine.

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Yeah its alright to feel that way, you did your part by asking her and now its up to her to go along with it and if she does flake its not your fault its just she wasn't that interested for whatever reason.

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Perhaps you guys are right and I'm just paranoid.

 

I'm just afraid that she's going to flake and that the interest wasn't genuine.

 

You're severely overestimating how unhappy you'll be if she blows you off and/or this ultimately goes nowhere. If that happens you'll probably be less focused on "Waaaah why did she lead me on like that" and more focused on "I'm glad I took a risk and have bigger balls than the average guy does"

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Indeed. You actually asked her out. Thats better than most


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Speaking of having big balls, sex drives, and Tinder (this is not as weird or exciting as that probably makes it sound)

 

I've been in my new city for just over two weeks now and I've been on five Tinder dates. I ended up being attracted to none of them in person, and one was out of nowhere a lot heavier than pics indicated (not shaming, just not attracted to that body type). I know I could have slept with at least two of them that day, but chose not to due to lack of attraction. I'm a picky SOB but w/e. I already learned about myself long ago that I'm too introverted and self-conscious for sex stuff with people I'm not already comfortable with (unless I'm pretty drunk, and even then it's iffy). So with the whole Tinder thing I'm just kinda leaning into it and taking the opportunity to be pickier. It makes my options slimmer from the get-go but also has the advantage of making me happier in the long run. Having the power and all that.

 

All in all considering I moved here for a job I applied for on a whim and went from sleeping on a college friend's floor to moving into a house with people I just met over the span of two weeks, I'd say I'm doing okay haha.

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Because I tend more towards long term relationships, monogamous or not I've done both, and being my own gatekeeper ensures that anyone I do enter a sexual relationship with is going to be someone with whom I can be satisfied for an extended period of time. Because I am not wired to be generally receptive to very short relationships and the kinds of interactions they entail--again, with the caveat of special circumstances, most involving alcohol.

 

Feel free to ask more about it, but understand that this is not something that I feel I am wrong to want or feel and I'm not interested in being told so, passive-aggressively or otherwise.

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Perhaps having sex for him isn't the only thing that makes him happy? From what I can tell, you believe that happiness is directly correlated to how much sex a person has. While a happy person might have a lot of sex and partners, I'm sure that there are many unhappy people that have a lot of sex. There are also probably a lot of people who are very happy that don't have that much sex. You really shouldn't assume that all people have the same exact needs that you, BD, or the people on PUA do. A place like that caters to those who know that sex makes them happy, but it doesn't mean that everyone feels the same way.

 

 

I haven't really been a very happy person throughout the past 6 or so years of my life, and the amount of sex I had or didn't have really change how happy I was as a person.

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“I had a feeling we weren’t coming back from this fight when it began.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“I don’t. It seems surprising, I know, but I wouldn’t change a thing. This is how it was meant to be.”

“Huh, you never really notice how lovely the day is until you realize you’ll never see it again.”

“Mmmhmm.”

 

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If youre happy - good. Dont fix what isnt broken.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Since I have started dating and stuff (since December) I have not been unhappy.

 

And if you feel good, who gives a goddamn bloody [bleep]?

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So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Because I tend more towards long term relationships, monogamous or not I've done both, and being my own gatekeeper ensures that anyone I do enter a sexual relationship with is going to be someone with whom I can be satisfied for an extended period of time. Because I am not wired to be generally receptive to very short relationships and the kinds of interactions they entail--again, with the caveat of special circumstances, most involving alcohol.

 

Feel free to ask more about it, but understand that this is not something that I feel I am wrong to want or feel and I'm not interested in being told so, passive-aggressively or otherwise.

 

Right, but why waste your time going on dates with women whom you aren't attracted to to begin with? Isn't that just a massive waste of time?


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How do you know that you are attracted to a person just by looking at a few pictures? They might be cute/hot, but they may have like the worst personality or smell horrible or something. The way I see it, since his goal isn't just to bang 'em, he really needs to meet them in person and talk with them and spend time with them to see if they are really what he is looking for.


19509_s.gif

 

“I had a feeling we weren’t coming back from this fight when it began.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“I don’t. It seems surprising, I know, but I wouldn’t change a thing. This is how it was meant to be.”

“Huh, you never really notice how lovely the day is until you realize you’ll never see it again.”

“Mmmhmm.”

 

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How do you know that you are attracted to a person just by looking at a few pictures? They might be cute/hot, but they may have like the worst personality or smell horrible or something. The way I see it, since his goal isn't just to bang 'em, he really needs to meet them in person and talk with them and spend time with them to see if they are really what he is looking for.

 

That's just how men work as far as sexual attraction goes. Personalities don't give men boners; physical appearance does. We're extremely visual creatures.

 

With that said, however, it's very common for guys to be turned on by a hot woman physically, but talk themselves out of making any moves on her due to her personality (or for something else that's completely unrelated to her looks). Guys do this because for whatever reason having a friend w/ benefits or a one night stand isn't an option for them.

 

Or the opposite will happen and they meet a hot woman with an awesome personality and they won't try and make a move on them because for some reason they think that having sex ASAP will somehow lead to unhappiness down the road, as opposed to waiting for sex.

 

My argument is guys like that don't have different biology or desires than me, but they simply have different beliefs regarding sex and its appropriateness. And having such beliefs is fine as long as those beliefs are genuinely making them happy. But with that said, I've never seen any of my friends end up happier as a result of having such beliefs :P They're usually getting friend zoned or going through extremely long dry spells that they have no control over... which is fine if they have a low sex drive and low desire for intimacy. But most of my friends aren't like that haha


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I disagree with that only physical appearance gives boners.

 

If you get an ok, average chick, but who'se personality, quirks and jokes you really dig, you also get boners.

 

Or if you have been dry for a WHOLE LONG TIME, you get boners for nearly everyone.

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t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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I disagree with that only physical appearance gives boners.

 

If you get an ok, average chick, but who'se personality, quirks and jokes you really dig, you also get boners.

 

Or if you have been dry for a WHOLE LONG TIME, you get boners for nearly everyone.

 

I think that's just a matter of lowering one's standards of physical attractiveness; as opposed to actually getting turned on by something other than physical attractiveness. If you can think of a specific girl with sub-par looks but an awesome personality, are you fantasizing about having her as a FB/ONS or are you fantasizing about intimacy with her? My guess is the latter.


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In other news...

 

Did my first ever cold approach at the gym this evening lol. There was a cute girl on the leg press machine next to me while I was doing squats. We briefly looked at each other and she smiled. Later on she came up to me and asked if she could have my 10 lb plate. I was like, "well I'm going to feel like a [bleep] if I go home without at least asking her out" so I finished my workout and walked over to her... but she was already headed out the door so I awkwardly had to follow her and catch up to her in the parking lot like a creep :lol:

 

Me: Hey I just wanted to ask you if you want to grab drinks sometime this weekend.

Her: Oh, um, I'm actually going to be in [another city] this weekend.

Me: It's cool. Here just put your number in my phone and I'll shoot you a text this weekend.

Her: Umm, sorry but I don't really know you well enough. Do you come here a lot?

Me: Yeah I'm here all the time.

Her: Ok cool well we'll probably see each other around a lot then! What's your name?
Me: [my name]. What's your name?

Her: [her name]

Me: Cool, see you around. Have a good evening.

Her: Thanks!

 

Drove home happy for at least giving it a shot, since regret stings lol


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Rejection is not as bad as regret. No.

 

As for if dating women you arent attracted to being a waste of time? (Sorry to this who have English as a second language that was a hard sentence to create let alone read back) - nothing is a waste of time if you learn something. You can practice your story telling, touxh escalation, run through a trial and error joke catalogue of dialogue. Practice makes perfect after all


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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We briefly looked at each other and she smiled. 

 

I wonder how often I miss out on this by not ever wearing my glasses outside of class or my car

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How do you know that you are attracted to a person just by looking at a few pictures? They might be cute/hot, but they may have like the worst personality or smell horrible or something. The way I see it, since his goal isn't just to bang 'em, he really needs to meet them in person and talk with them and spend time with them to see if they are really what he is looking for.

 

 

With that said, however, it's very common for guys to be turned on by a hot woman physically, but talk themselves out of making any moves on her due to her personality (or for something else that's completely unrelated to her looks). Guys do this because for whatever reason having a friend w/ benefits or a one night stand isn't an option for them.

 

 

 

 

This is exactly what I was trying to say. I'm just saying that if you are looking for a girl that you'd want to spend a large portion of your time/life with that you'd want them to be more than attractive. In your case, you are just trying to [bleep] 'em, and maybe or maybe not hang out with the cool ones every once in a while. On the other hand, it sounds like Nom is looking for girls that he'd do more than just bang with, which requires more than a nice pair of [bleep].

 

 

Honest question for you Muggi... Have you ever turned down a girl that you thought was hot but just didn't like her personality, the way she acted, or other things not related to her physical appearance? (Not talking like the crazy ones)


19509_s.gif

 

“I had a feeling we weren’t coming back from this fight when it began.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“I don’t. It seems surprising, I know, but I wouldn’t change a thing. This is how it was meant to be.”

“Huh, you never really notice how lovely the day is until you realize you’ll never see it again.”

“Mmmhmm.”

 

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Trick question; they're all crazy.

 

Ha.

 

Ha

 

Ha.

 

Ill see myself out

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Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Rejection is not as bad as regret. No.

 

As for if dating women you arent attracted to being a waste of time? (Sorry to this who have English as a second language that was a hard sentence to create let alone read back) - nothing is a waste of time if you learn something. You can practice your story telling, touxh escalation, run through a trial and error joke catalogue of dialogue. Practice makes perfect after all

 

I think that's true to a certain extent, but IME the best way to get good at something specific is to do that specific thing. In lifting, if I want to increase my 1 rep max bench, the best way to do that is to do 1 rep max bench as much as possible, rather than doing 5 sets of 5 with a lighter weight. I've been on dates before with women who turned out to be fat and so I was pretty much apathetic during the whole date and genuinely didn't care to see her again... and these women would be like "so you're going to text me right? :)" at the end of the date. But then later that week I'd have a date with much more attractive girl and I'd be a bit more needy than I was with the other one, and consequently the attractive girl wouldn't be as into me as the fat one. So in other words, I think if you want to get good with hot girls, the best way to do that is to date hot girls. And if scheduling dates with hot girls is something you can do easily, then it doesn't really make any sense to bother with the unattractive ones. But if you're not yet to the point where you can schedule lots of dates with only hot girls, then yeah I don't really see the harm in "practicing" on the ugly ones :P

 

 

We briefly looked at each other and she smiled.

I wonder how often I miss out on this by not ever wearing my glasses outside of class or my car

 

Well it was more of a polite smile than a sexual smile :P 

 

 

 

How do you know that you are attracted to a person just by looking at a few pictures? They might be cute/hot, but they may have like the worst personality or smell horrible or something. The way I see it, since his goal isn't just to bang 'em, he really needs to meet them in person and talk with them and spend time with them to see if they are really what he is looking for.

 

 

With that said, however, it's very common for guys to be turned on by a hot woman physically, but talk themselves out of making any moves on her due to her personality (or for something else that's completely unrelated to her looks). Guys do this because for whatever reason having a friend w/ benefits or a one night stand isn't an option for them.

 

 

 

 

This is exactly what I was trying to say. I'm just saying that if you are looking for a girl that you'd want to spend a large portion of your time/life with that you'd want them to be more than attractive. In your case, you are just trying to [bleep] 'em, and maybe or maybe not hang out with the cool ones every once in a while. On the other hand, it sounds like Nom is looking for girls that he'd do more than just bang with, which requires more than a nice pair of [bleep].

 

 

Honest question for you Muggi... Have you ever turned down a girl that you thought was hot but just didn't like her personality, the way she acted, or other things not related to her physical appearance? (Not talking like the crazy ones)

 

Well keep in mind that for me, sex is mandatory for ALL types of women that I'm going to be hanging out with unless they're off-limits (e.g. they're my coworker or they're dating a friend of mine). I don't really believe in attractive platonic friends. So therefore when I meet a girl, the possible outcomes are:

1. We don't hook up for whatever reason (usually my fault for having bad game lol), and then I cut off all contact with her so I don't get sexually frustrated from being in the friend zone

2. We hook up but she has a rotten personality, and so she's just a casual FB. Pretty similar relationship to the ones I have with all of my guy friends, except we have sex.

3. We hook up and we really get along well, so we become intimate via open relationship

 

The only time I've turned down girls who were hot but had rotten personalities were back when I was sexually inexperienced and didn't know how to manage a casual relationship. I thought having sex would lead to hurt feelings and drama... which is true, but only if you don't know what you're doing.

 

Or there were times where I had a girl at my place, but I didn't escalate because I was afraid of moving too fast and scaring her off... and then ironically I never heard back from her because I didn't strike while the iron was hot.

 

Like I said, I think a lot of these problems stem from people making mountains out of molehills when it comes to having sex.


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If an opportunity to practice or learn is presented and not acted upon, I see it as you who is being wasteful :p


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Matched with a really hot girl last night on Tinder, ended up talking to her and it turns out we're both working at Google, had a date scheduled for tonight and everything was going A+...

 

Then she ended up flaking at work because she said she was too tired and asked to reschedule to getting lunch at work on Monday. So now I have a date with probably the hottest girl I've been on a date with... at work lol. I don't know what to make of this

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Make the most of it

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Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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