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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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Met a really cool girl on Thursday. She's friends with my roommate; he bought her and one of our other mutual friends over to chill and have a couple drinks and smoke that night. At the end of the night before she left she told me she had a lot of fun meeting me and wanted to hang out again and we exchanged numbers; however our schedules conflicted due to midterms/ preexisting plans and we weren't able to meet up that weekend. Is this still salvageable ? I'd like to give things a shot with this girl but this weekend is spring break so I'm not really sure what to do because I feel like if I wait until after we're back it will have been too long and I'll have missed my shot lol - we're both going out of state. Maybe I'm just being dense though. What should I do here? just try to fit in drinks or coffee? Probably should be pretty obvious but idk i've just been pretty dense with this stuff lately I guess.

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Why do you have to make a move on the first date?

Why can't it be on the second or third?

Why has it always have to be purely about sex on the first or second date?

 

Twice I've made a move on first date, and it went shit within a few months or even weeks actually.

Twice I have not made a move on the first date and now one is still lasting after 4 months and the other ended with the girl moving out of town. (and becoming an international model, having been touring Asian countries as a model for the last few years)

 

http://forum.tip.it/topic/192134-i-want-a-girlfriendboyfriend-and-other-such-relationship-advice/page-948?do=findComment&comment=5584600

 

I think it'd be better for you to argue what the benefits are for not making a move on the first date. Because I can guarantee most of the people reading this thread are crossing their fingers, hoping that you're right. Because if you're right and I'm wrong, then they have a free pass to act like a [kitty] and wait for the girl to basically give them a written invitation to make a move :P

 

 

Not making a move on the first date should suggest that you are not only after sex, but enjoy being with her aswell, and that alone should already be a key to having a healthy relationship.

From that post it is mentioned that guys do have 2 needs and there it is explained, that the need 2 for feminine energy and soft values comes easily with just filling need 1, but I find it hard to agree with that. There needs to be some sort of connection, at least for some guys, like me, to have pleasure while also filling need 1.

 

What I want to say is that just because I could bang somebody for a one-night-stand (oh how close I have been multiple times this last half a year, but I don't want it for I want my girl), doesn't mean I could also fill my need for feminine energies just for spending one night with someone.

 

Everyone is different. Most men might think the need 2 is the one they are after, and it might not always be they suppress need 1 for that.

Some people don't even like sex as much more as just being there, snuggling n shit, to consider a night of cuddling a failure.

 

The same theory about girls wanting to fulfill 2 needs, the sexual and I don't know how to call it, romantic(?) need applies to them too. If you always do make the move on the first date, and she goes with it, it means she values the sexual needs more and might not be as interested in filling the romantic needs of men, or themselves.

 

The key here is to finding a balance. If you think you want more the romantic stuff and want a girl who wants to snuggle and hold hands and do other stuff besides pure sex, I'd think not making a direct move on first date would be better.

 

It also depends on what you would consider making a move, some consider a kiss, others consider hooking up and yet others consider a simple hug.

 

Not everybody is the same, sometimes different approaches work better.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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How does making a move on the first date, such as trying to caress her hand, suggest to her that you only want sex? What do you gain by playing it safe and not making a move to gauge her interest?


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Don't do dinner. Just do drinks or coffee unless there's some kind of activity that you think you'd both enjoy doing like going for a walk around the park.

 

Text her about something you both laughed about the other night to start the conversation off on a lighthearted note. Banter for a little bit and then pitch the meet. "Let's grab drinks at [place] on [day] night."

 

When did you last see her? You should text her like 24-48 hours after last saw her. Don't wait a few days.

One time I now agree with muggi, dinner is a bad idea if you don't know each other well yet. It is awkward communicating over a proper meal and you can go wrong in so many ways.

 

Im guessing Maze is young, by the math class comment and general lack of confidence. So perhaps drinks aren't on the table.

 

Drinks don't always have to be alcoholic. One of my favourites is peppermint cocoa and a slice of cake at the best cafe in the country, which is conveniently located downtown the city I live in.

Though alcohol almost always loosens up a bit. I have managed to make a girl mad by suggesting alcohol though. She wasn't for me :D


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Met a really cool girl on Thursday. She's friends with my roommate; he bought her and one of our other mutual friends over to chill and have a couple drinks and smoke that night. At the end of the night before she left she told me she had a lot of fun meeting me and wanted to hang out again and we exchanged numbers; however our schedules conflicted due to midterms/ preexisting plans and we weren't able to meet up that weekend. Is this still salvageable ? I'd like to give things a shot with this girl but this weekend is spring break so I'm not really sure what to do because I feel like if I wait until after we're back it will have been too long and I'll have missed my shot lol - we're both going out of state. Maybe I'm just being dense though. What should I do here? just try to fit in drinks or coffee? Probably should be pretty obvious but idk i've just been pretty dense with this stuff lately I guess.

Everything is salvageable, depending on how much you want to think about it and what is it that you want.

 

I know people who have met on a party, casually added on FB, then not talked for a few months, then one has pretty much randomly asked how ya doing over FB or something and within a short time they hooked up.

 

Just go for it after you return, if nothing comes out of it, then big deal, wouldn't have happened anyway, but if you do decide to do something, magic might happen.

 

You always regret the things you didn't do, not the things you did.

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t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Looking forward to see where this goes

 

I guess the teacher who is the flake of the century decided to move her masters degree students in with the undergrads because she doesn't feel like teaching on saturdays lol.

 

Anyways I was talking to a girl who got moved in from that schedule change and we were pretty flirty and I walked her to her car and everything. Got her number and facebook and talked to her for a while tonight.

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How does making a move on the first date, such as trying to caress her hand, suggest to her that you only want sex? What do you gain by playing it safe and not making a move to gauge her interest?

 

I also said it depends on what you consider making a move.

Trying to caress her hand or sth like that it quite fine and good.

 

I consider making a move the first kiss. There are some scientific studies about it, which I am too lazy to find out, that say that the girl immediately knows if she wants to be with a guy by the first kiss. Something about immune system compatibility or so and that it will be [bleep]ed up by baby pills. That's why I think that could be the making a move.

 

Simply caressing a hand or a simple touch here and there are so self-explanatory that I don't even really consider them as flirting anymore.

 

 

 

Which is ironic, as a few years back I was totally afraid of that thing... Funny how people grow and change...


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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No I've never recommended kissing on the first date. Unless you plan on [bleep]ing her that night, kissing on the first date ironically makes it more likely that you'll never hear from her again.

 

The reason why you caress a girl's hand ASAP is because girls can easily lead inexperienced guys on just by being friendly and flirty with them. But if a guy starts holding her hand and caressing it, she can't really pretend to like that if she's not interested. She'll either simply allow you to caress it if she's on the fence or slightly interested, or she'll caress your hand back if she's attracted you. Or if she was leading you on, she'll cringe and reflexively pull her hand away when you try to caress it.

 

After every first date I go on, I know exactly how a woman feels about me based on how she reacted when I caressed her hand. Way better than walking away from the date, trying to keep score of all her behaviors and guessing whether or not she liked me.

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huh, that's interesting. I think that's the first time I've seen you explain it?


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In real life MMO you don't get 99 smithing by making endless bronze daggers.

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That's probably the first time I've elaborated on that particular reason. There's tons of reasons why it's a very good idea to get in the habit of caressing her hand:

 

1. It conveys boldness which is universally attractive to women on a primal level, just like a woman with a sexy body and a pretty face is universally attractive to men on a primal level

 

2. It keeps you out of the friendzone. A "nice guy" doesn't do stuff like this because he doesn't have the balls. He'd rather be the asexual goofy guy that keeps her comfortable and makes her laugh all night without touching her because he's afraid of making things uncomfortable. Or if he actually ends up touching her, thinks touching her via high fives and thumb wars is sexy lol

 

3. It puts you in control of the interaction, rather than her. You convey to her, "I'm offering you an opportunity to be with me. Take it or leave it." And then she'll take it or leave it. :) As opposed to being the average guy who never makes a move and is constantly trying to decode her body language and the things she said all night, waiting for 99.9% certainty that she'll accept him before he makes a move... or worse, he'll just wait for her to make a move, which basically never happens, and then he wonders why she doesn't want to hang out anymore.

 

4. You don't really need to worry about trying to kiss her. If a girl caresses your hand, she's down to make out with you; or give you her number; or be alone with you; etc. Once you two are caressing each others' hands, you're basically on the same team. No more uncertainty or playing games trying to feel each other out. Most guys will try to kiss her instead of going for a hand caress. The problem with kissing is: a) girls often kiss guys who they aren't interested in, so it doesn't really give you any proof that she's into you; b) a kiss rejection is much more awkward and difficult to recover from than a hand caress rejection; c) you can't talk and kiss at the same time, whereas you can caress her hand while she's busy talking if you wanna be sneaky :)

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Yep, I've been going on a couple tinder dates a week since the new year, and light touching as worked better for me than kissing.

 

 

Also. A girl I went to elementary and middle school with recently added me on fb and we've been messaging a little. I'd really like to nail her, but sadly she goes to school 8 hours away. She seems really interested, and I'm pretty surprised she'd seek me out because we were never close when we were young.

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Dinner is not a good date idea for the first month ish


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Wow, I really do agree completely with Muggi in something in this thread.

 

All of our disagreement came from determining what is the move.

 

 

I am drunk af, and wil elaborate further when I have gotten sober (it is pretty much the 4th of July, or the indepence day here, I am absolutely [bleep]ed, 2 litres of pure high quality vodka and a few beers make you do that...)

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t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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oh well in that case i was just kidding about everything. i think you should whip your dick out as soon as you say hi, if not sooner :D

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Texted that girl asking for a second date yesterday. No response. I shrugged and moved on.

 

Every morning I have a math class with her and I skipped class this morning because I overslept. She sent me a text asking why I skipped class, and I just replied, "I overslept and ate cereal instead." She then laughed and said I didn't miss much. Not sure what's going on here but I feel like she's leading me on.

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Figure out what you want and ask her if she also wants that


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Wow, I could not remember jack shit about last night.

 

But I am too lazy to elaborate now aswell.

 

And whipping your dick out is always the best option.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Texted that girl asking for a second date yesterday. No response. I shrugged and moved on.

 

Every morning I have a math class with her and I skipped class this morning because I overslept. She sent me a text asking why I skipped class, and I just replied, "I overslept and ate cereal instead." She then laughed and said I didn't miss much. Not sure what's going on here but I feel like she's leading me on.

Pitch a meet with a place and time. If she:

-Doesn't respond

-Says "I'll let you know"

-Says "Let me check my schedule"

-Changes the subject

-Offers you a vague time when she's free (e.g. "Next week")

-Gives you any excuse not to meet up

 

...then she's wasting your time. If she is interested, she will either accept your offer, or she'll say she's busy BUT she'll give you a specific time when she's free (e.g. Thursday night at 8pm)

 

As a reminder, if you'd made a move, she'd be probably be fantasizing about your dick right now instead of the douchebag she met the other night who made a move :P


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Texted that girl asking for a second date yesterday. No response. I shrugged and moved on.

 

Every morning I have a math class with her and I skipped class this morning because I overslept. She sent me a text asking why I skipped class, and I just replied, "I overslept and ate cereal instead." She then laughed and said I didn't miss much. Not sure what's going on here but I feel like she's leading me on.

Pitch a meet with a place and time. If she:

-Doesn't respond

-Says "I'll let you know"

-Says "Let me check my schedule"

-Changes the subject

-Offers you a vague time when she's free (e.g. "Next week")

-Gives you any excuse not to meet up

 

...then she's wasting your time. If she is interested, she will either accept your offer, or she'll say she's busy BUT she'll give you a specific time when she's free (e.g. Thursday night at 8pm)

 

As a reminder, if you'd made a move, she'd be probably be fantasizing about your dick right now instead of the douchebag she met the other night who made a move :P

 

Wouldn't her not responding to my offer for a date yesterday already make me assume she's not interested? So, she either did not get my message (doubtful) or she saw it and didn't want to respond because she's not interested.

 

Then again, she texted me this morning. I don't know man, feels like I'm getting played.

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You probably are. But you have nothing to lose by pitching the meet. You need to get used to going after what you want, even if it makes you (and other people) temporarily uncomfortable.

 

Right now you're uncertain. And that's bad.


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I'm pretty certain tinder does screwy stuff with how often and who you match with. Some weekends I'll get 30 matches and some I'll get 3. Sometimes it'll show me mostly people from my minimum distance 1mile and others a bunch from my max of 30miles.

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I can see them not listing you to everyone whos swiping. 

 

But holy shit 30 matches a weekend? I have 28 right now and I was impressed with myself. Do you pay for unlimited swipes?

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I can see them not listing you to everyone whos swiping.

 

But holy shit 30 matches a weekend? I have 28 right now and I was impressed with myself. Do you pay for unlimited swipes?

Yes

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You probably are. But you have nothing to lose by pitching the meet. You need to get used to going after what you want, even if it makes you (and other people) temporarily uncomfortable.

 

Right now you're uncertain. And that's bad.

As a female, I think all of your advice on women is on point.

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