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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios
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I think the more traditionally masculine you look, the more "nice guy" qualities actually work in your favor-- it makes you come off as a powerful person who's capable of showing restraint and warmth despite your ability to be an aggressive [wagon] without much consequence. Conversely, if you look weak and scrawny, and you behave like a "nice guy," it comes off as submissive behavior; as if you're nice because you can't defend yourself so you have to placate others in order to survive. Like, look at the 3rd-top-rated post of all time from r/ladyboners-- even when that guy's trying to be "cute" he still looks like someone that could rip your head off. If someone like Michael Cera behaved similarly, he'd probably receive a much different reaction :P At least, that's been my experience as a naturally warm, empathetic person who finished puberty at 5'8, 105 lbs and is currently about 155 lbs of lean muscle.

 

 

Your sense of fashion seems fine to me and you've got an attractive face (no homo :P). To be completely honest, if I were in your shoes, I'd swap my time spent dating with time spent bulking up at the gym. People will treat you much better and dating will require much less effort. Only in the past 6 months did I bulk up from 125 to 155 and I'm still shocked at how much easier dating is and how much more positive attention I get from women now.

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Same line of thought, you may come off as a "safe" option which doesn't excite most online daters. While it makes you a good long term match for people to organically create something over a long period of time - it's not going to help you in the straight sex tinder experience.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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I'm currently trying to lose someone more weight (~20-30 lbs left, wanna go down to 130-140) then bulk up, so I'm already working on that.

 

It's weird how being nice is being associated with being submissive because I am not submissive.

 

Toxic masculinity is a thing and this is why we need feminism. I'm both joking and being serious at the same time. :P

 

re: pictures, any comments? Because I'm going to keep trying. I'm not waiting another 1.5 years (optimistically) to go dating, I've already waited 26 years. (Well, not quite--obviously--but whatever).

 

I'm thinking 5A (smiling @ World of Beer), 8 (leaning against wall with blazer), 9 (smiling in red dress shirt), 2A (sitting in grey shirt), 7 (coffee place in gryff shirt)), 6 (Carowinds), 3? (bike), 10 (group photo).

 

I've been floating around a few ideas for my bio too:

 

"I'm like Batman, I don't have to worry about disappointing my parents." (funny but probably not good for bio)

 

"I'm actually Aubrey Plaza and Chris Patt's long lost child." (b/c of dark/dirty jokes I make like above + my description of my attitude/personality further up). OR "I'm actually Andy and April's long lost child." (more specific, only appeals to those who've seen Parks & Rec).

 

uh think that's it

 

btw thanks muggi, rpggamer, and ring_world for putting up with me on my adventure lol

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I'm currently trying to lose someone more weight (~20-30 lbs left, wanna go down to 130-140) then bulk up, so I'm already working on that.

 

It's weird how being nice is being associated with being submissive because I am not submissive.

 

Toxic masculinity is a thing and this is why we need feminism. I'm both joking and being serious at the same time. :P

 

How tall are you?

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5' 8". I'm currently 155-160 lbs (haven't weighed myself since I started losing weight middlish of August, want the loss to be a surprise, going to weigh myself @ the end of September). This means I have a smallish gut (noticable at certain poses or topless) and my thighs are a /little/ flabby (only noticable when sitting down without pants lol; I only wear pants so no one would notice).

if you can check my edits. I know I'm bad about editing posts after I post them. Sorry. :P

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5' 8". I'm currently 155-160 lbs (haven't weighed myself since I started losing weight middlish of August, want the loss to be a surprise, going to weigh myself @ the end of September). This means I have a smallish gut (noticable at certain poses or topless) and my thighs are a /little/ flabby (only noticable when sitting down without pants lol; I only wear pants so no one would notice).

 

if you can check my edits. I know I'm bad about editing posts after I post them. Sorry. :P

 

I think you're doing things backwards. You should be gaining weight (including excess fat) and then cutting. Reason being: you're going to be a lot weaker and unable to lift heavier weights the less you weigh, which will make building muscle more difficult. When you're losing weight, you're losing both fat and muscle mass. In other words, the more you weigh, the stronger you get, faster.

 

You might look good shirtless if you try to slim down 130-140, but since you're going to be wearing clothes the majority of the time, you're going to look emaciated at that weight, and you're going to have an even harder time with dating. When I first bulked up from 125-150, I had a little bit of excess fat that I'd never had before. My abs were still visible (slightly), but I had some minor love handles. However, with a shirt on, everyone told me how much stronger I looked since my arms were bigger and clothes fit me better and accentuated my physique better.

 

Two examples of 165 lbs, 5'8:

 

words.JPG

 

Dy_wikipedia.jpg

 

That's my goal, anyway :P

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It's self image issues. I still feel like I'm fat. (There's some unresolved issues there lol.) I'll talk to my therapist about it. You're right. Thank you.

 

I'm never going to look good shirtless because I have a lot of loose skin. Which only exacerbates the self image issues.

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I can't do a single push-up. I can just barely lift 10-ream cases of paper at work. There's printers I have to get coworkers to lift.

 

I bike (mostly), run (a little), and diet. So my legs are great, my arms and body... not at all.

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I can't do a single push-up. I can just barely lift 10-ream cases of paper at work. There's printers I have to get coworkers to lift.

 

I bike (mostly), run (a little), and diet. So my legs are great, my arms and body... not at all.

 

Duuuude you gotta start doing some heavy compound lifts at least 3x a week. If you didn't adjust your diet at all such that you maintained your weight, but you just started lifting, you'd go from being skinny-fat to swole in no time. Lifting's fun af, it's like an RPG IRL :lol:

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Any advice?

 

I know less than nothing about muscle building / lifting / etc. I'm not joking, I only recently found out the what a rep and a set are.

 

Here's a solid novice workout, feel free to change the days around to better fit your schedule, but you should have a day of rest between each workout (two days rest after the 3rd workout of the week). You're always going to be squatting and deadlifting every time you lift, and you're going to alternate between bench press and overhead press each time you lift.

 

Monday:

Squat 3x5*

Bench Press 3x5

Deadlift 1x5

 

*3x5 means "3 sets of 5 reps," meaning you squat 5 times. Then you rack the bar, rest for 3-5 minutes, then do another 5 reps. Rest for another 3-5 minutes, then do your 3rd and final set.

 

Wednesday:

Squat 3x5

Overhead Press 3x5

Deadlift 1x5

 

 

Friday:

Squat 3x5

Bench Press 3x5

Deadlift 1x5

 

 

Next Monday:

Squat 3x5

Overhead Press 3x5

Deadlift 1x5

 

Next Wednesday:

Squat 3x5

Bench Press 3x5

Deadlift 1x5

 

Next Friday:

Squat 3x5

Bench Press 3x5

Deadlift 1x5

 

Rinse and repeat.

 

 

 

Make a note on your phone to record your lifts so you remember what weight you're supposed to be doing and so you can see your numbers get bigger every time you go to the gym. If you successfully complete all reps and all sets for a lift, then congratulations-- you leveled up IRL (imaginary fireworks detonate above your head)-- and you get to add 5 lbs next time you lift :)

 

Since you're a complete beginner, expect to be very sore after the first workout. The soreness might last a week or longer. You'll still have strength despite the soreness so you can continue lifting through the soreness if you wish, but if you want to be safe, you can just start slow and do the first Monday's workout, then rest until you're no longer sore, then continue the program. Within a couple of weeks you'll stop feeling sore since your body will have adapted to the stress and you can go 3x week.

 

Since you probably don't know how much weight to use, just start with the bar for all the exercises when you perform them for the first time (except for deadlifts; maybe start with like 95 lbs; deadlifts kinda weird with just the bar since the bar starts on the ground). Do 5 reps with just the bar, see how it feels, add 5 lbs, rest for 0-5 minutes till you feel recovered, then do another 5 reps until it starts getting difficult. When it starts getting tough, call it a day, write down the weight where it got difficult, and pick up where you left off next time you go to the gym when you're fresh.

 

Ideally, you'll be able to increase the weight for every lift every time you go to the gym since you're a novice and you'll get stronger extremely rapidl-- just like how you level up super fast when you're a noob in RS. You'll hit a wall after around a couple months, assuming you're consistently going to the gym and consistently adding weight. Some lifts will progress slower/quicker than others. Don't push yourself too hard, it's better to be slightly weaker the next time than it is to be injured from lifting with shitty form.

 

 

BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS CONSISTENCY. IF YOU'RE NOT LIFTING 3X WEEK, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME

 

Your #1 priority/goal, more than anything else-- including getting stronger/leaner-- should just be to be CONSISTENT. Doesn't matter if you have a shitty workout or get lazy/wimp out and leave early... just go to the gym and TRY to finish your workout. You do NOT want to get into the habit of talking yourself out of going 3x a week.

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This page has had the best advice this thread has seen in years.

 

Edit: the previous page. RIP me

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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No, you were right the first time. For the rest of this page, only post good advice.

 

You can get really cool nail polish designs, really simply, by using a floss wand to apply multiple layers. Start with a base coat in a light color, then brush a layer of a dark color onto a floss wand, and use it to apply lines haphazardly across the nails. Repeat with 2 or 3 dark colors, and you've got yourself an awesome nail design!

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My skin is finally getting soft
I'll scrub until the damn thing comes off

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When one queen bee survives in a colony, she will fly out on a sunny, warm day to a "drone congregation area" where she will mate with 12-15 drones. If the weather holds, she may return to the drone congregation area for several days until she is fully mated. The young queen stores the sperm in her spermatheca.

I'm going to milk Goon's teats

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I don't lift per se, partly cause my nearest gym is 40 km's or 26 miles away, but more due to having worked physically for more than a year in a row now. I am not ripped or bulky in any way, but I am strong and wide enough. Being 6'8 also helps.

Being able to grow a proper beard has also helped for me.

But you seriously need to bulk up.

 

Looking and acting more masculine has worked wonders. It just is that way. In recent times I've rather had issues with me being too picky rather than not having anyone interested in me when I go out.

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So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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I think you underestimate how much being 6' 8" helps. :P

 

Also I hate facial and body hair so I'm never growing a beard.

 

Like I said, I'll start working out ASAP. I don't have a problem presenting as masculine (unless "acting masculine" means being in any way a jerk at which point yeah I guess I'll never be able to pull that off).

 

...

 

this may be a dumb question but how will muscle building affect my clothes? I'm currently a small (shirt size) at 5' 8" / 155 lbs and I really don't want to go up to a medium.

Edited by Veiva

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So 15-20 reps (instead of 5) / X sets (like Muggi suggests)?

 

you guys are awesome btw.

 

I'll either be starting this Monday or the next. I have to move some things around to make this week work, but I should be able to pull it off.

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Or just get a physical job.

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t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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veiva dont worry about your clothes not fitting you. doesn't matter if you follow my program or ring's... you just have to be consistent. since you're a gym newbie, you're essentially creating a new RS account with a double XP buff that lasts for about 3 months. no matter what program you do, you're going to see results* immediately.

 

 

*results, meaning strength; your lifts will probably increase by at least 5 lbs every time you go to the gym. it'll take a few months before you start to notice that strength manifesting itself via your physique

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