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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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I think I should be completely honest. This aint flattering but eh.

 

I have a coworker I sit next to. She is in a relationship. We casually flirt all day.

 

no need for further explanation-- there's your problem. don't shit where you eat

 

I've always thought this analogy should be the other way around..as in, don't eat where you shit

 

 

idk makes sense to me. but then again, my toilet's in my kitchen

 

 

is this you

 

UECQ2fJ.gif

 

?

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So I was talking with an interesting and cute guy on Grindr and have been trying to set up a date. Gotcha: he currently doesn't have a job and wants to split the bill so is waiting for student aid in September. From personal experience, if I fail to set up a date within the week it never goes anywhere. So I'm just going to leave it alone.

 

Oh well.

 

I'm having literally no luck with online dating. I really don't know what's wrong with me. What makes me so unattractive? It's obviously something I'm doing wrong... It doesn't help my voice is a stereotypical gay dude's voice.


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Woah man don't spiral like that. The online dating pool is only so big in your rural area, that's not your fault


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Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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That's what I'm hoping but it's still depressing. It bothers me a lot but I mean it's not tragically bad, I'm still pretty happy. I just can't help but shake feeling alone, though I doubt a relationship would honestly change that.

 

Also I think maybe because I'm almost alway good at whatever I'm determined to do it's upsetting that I suck at dating lol. Maybe OkCupid insisting on putting "Bisexual" front-and-center isn't doing me any good either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

If anyone wants to give some feedback, here's here's my OkCupid bio. Maybe it screams 'nerd', idk.

 

[hide]

 

Self-summary:

One day, I vowed I'd do something new and fantastic every month. Since then, I began working towards my degree, went on every rollercoaster at Carrowinds in a single day, gone to a big developer conference in Raleigh, eaten at Chipotle, and so much more. (Ok, maybe the last one isn't that fantastic, but it was definitely new!) And while I'm an optimistic, I'm also a realist, which means I'm usually happy even when things don't turn out as well as I hoped. (Like when the spicy salsa wasn't as spicy as I'd wanted...)

 

What I'm doing with my life:

I'm currently working towards an Associates, then a Bachelor's, in Computer Programming/Computer Science. After I finish a couple years, I'm going to make an an AI to take over the world. Failing that, I'll settle for working on banking or insurance software, which is still pretty evil, right?

 

On weekdays I develop software, on weekends I sell tech and tech accessories, and in between I do freelance work to fund my lavish lifestyle, including such excess as eating out a few times a month, paying for both Hulu and Netflix, and saving for the future.

 

My Golden Rule

Be nice to everyone, even if they're being rude to you. In the words of the Doctor, "They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine."

 

Favorite Things

Judging by the CD case in my car, my favorite bands are Muse, Oasis, Imagine Dragons, Florence + The Machine, Swans, Laibach, and Detroit Social Club. And then there's the 20 gigabytes of music on my computer...

 

As for as books, that would be the Discworld series (Night Watch and Monstrous Regiment are personal favorites), Harry Potter series (I'd be a Gryffindor!), A Song of Ice And Fire (...which will never be finished), and /a lot/ of classic literature.

 

Shows include old a lot of 2000s cartoons like Avatar and Invader Zim (will you be my Tak?) and some other stuff: Frasier, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Friends, and Doctor Who, among others. If I had to literally choose a favorite, it would be a tie between Stranger Things and Mr. Robot.

[/hide]

 

The pictures are all but two of the ones I've shown here before. I can post them all later if someone wants.

 

I've given up on Tinder so that's irrelevant.

 

...

 

Again to clarify I'm doing great, the dating thing is a just a small bummer in my otherwise happy life.


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I feel like that's a lot of bulk, most of which would be better off being part of an opening conversation, not an initial bio. The first paragraph especially. Allow me to edit (which is by no means perfet, but at least something to consider)

[Hide]

BIO

 

I'm currently working towards an Associates in Computer Programming/Computer Science, and a Bachelor's to follow. Just don't tell Sarah Conner.

 

When I'm not developing software, on weekends I sell tech and tech accessories to appease the Hulu and Netflix gods, lest they find out my secret - my enormous music and book collection.

 

(Add one quote from a character you think is most relatable here)

 

[/hide]


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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any dates lately

 

the people I match with tend to be uninterested (then why match with me lol) or boring or become disinterested because they can't manage to schedule a date (sry u suck at scheduling) so while I have matched with several peeps in the past few weeks none have led to dates.

 

re: bio @ RpgGamer, OkCupid is supposed to be bit more detailed than Tinder AFAIK but you have some good suggestions, thanks.


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here's my OKCupid profile:

 

Read my profile :twisted:

 

I work as an independent contractor in the real estate industry. I chose this career because I hated the idea of having a set schedule. I enjoy being able to travel anywhere I want, whenever I want. If you’re cool, maybe you can tag along. :) Additionally, after spending several years in charge of leading people in college, I realized I don’t enjoy giving orders outside the bedroom and I don’t like having a boss telling me what to do. In other words, I value my independence and freedom. I’m probably the most independent person you’ll ever meet—I’ve got my own place, my own car, and my own money. I enjoy being alone and I can’t remember the last time I felt lonely. So if you’re going to need my attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you should probably talk to someone else or adopt a puppy. :)

 

I might be coming off as a bit of a jerk, but I do have a very laid-back and carefree personality. Life’s too short to spend worrying so I don’t take it too seriously. It’s hard for anything to get under my skin because when I don’t like something, I change it. If I can’t change it, I embrace it. With that said, I’m pretty flexible with regards to who I’m dating. I don’t care if you’re independent like me, or if you’re a traditionally sweet and submissive type, or if you’re a modern feminist badass type. The bottom line is: if you’re fun to hang out with, we’ll get along. I’ve still got a lot of things I’d like to do before I die and I don’t have much patience for people with negative attitudes. If you’re unpleasant, chances are I won’t want to keep hanging out with you.

 

I have a love/hate relationship with online dating. On one hand, I like how I don’t have to spend all night out at a noisy bar to meet you; I can just meet you on here with my phone while I sit on the toilet in my pajamas at home. :) But on the other hand, it’s hard for me to convey my full personality and sense of humor through text. For that reason, I’d rather get to know you face-to-face over something simple and relaxing like coffee or drinks instead of just texting back and forth indefinitely.  So if you just want to text all day, then you’re more than welcome to keep texting the other dudes on this site who will try to seduce you with unsolicited dick pics. :) Otherwise, let’s meet up and swap stories and laughs. Shoot me a message and we’ll see where it goes.

 

I only filled out the self-summary and left everything else blank. The :) smileys are replaced by emojis if the site allows them. On OKCupid, the very top of my self-summary says "read my profile" w/ the devilish smile emoji since IMO my profile description is more attractive than my photos so I want them to read it all. after I right swipe every attractive profile on OKCupid, I go down to my "likes" to see who I liked, and then I copy and paste the same message to every woman who's currently online (by only messaging people who are "online now," your response rates will increase):

 

"IDK if we're a match, but feel free to message me back if you want. Don't be scared away by my profile description-- it's there to filter women out, not attract them in. :)"

 

then if they message me back, I'll skim through their profile and start a conversation based on something I see, then I pitch the date ASAP so I can figure out if they're wasting my time or not.

 

---

 

most of my dates lately have been from Bumble, Match, and OKCupid. Bumble's gotten really popular in my area while Tinder's very inactive. I've always had good results with Match but the people who message you on Match are generally more serious about meeting up since you have to pay to use Match. I'm not paying to use OKC anymore... in the past they hid the most attractive users from free users, but I think that changed when they switched over to the swipe-based messaging.

 

Tinder's a good barometer for how attractive your profile is though. Bumble tends to show you the most-right-swiped profiles first, and the least-swiped profiles last, so you're essentially going from most- to least- attractive the more you swipe. Tinder, on the other hand, basically has an algorithm which assigns every profile a score, and makes sure everyone's only seeing other profiles within their range of attractiveness. so if you're a 4/10 you won't be seeing many 8/10 profiles, if at all. so if all the profiles you see on tinder are gross, then you're doing something wrong :P

 

---

 

anyways back to profile descriptions. yours just sounds very generic and boring... which makes it almost seem insincere. I think you need to talk less about what you do/like, and more about why.

 

 

One day, I vowed I'd do something new and fantastic every month.

 

this is an example of something that could use a why. assuming it's true, it'd be more exciting/interesting if there was singular moment/instance which triggered that revelation which you could briefly talk about. without any context, it doesn't sound very captivating

 

 

Since then, I began working towards my degree

what is your degree in? and why did you choose that? be very specific with regards to your emotions.

 

 

went on every rollercoaster at Carrowinds in a single day, gone to a big developer conference in Raleigh, eaten at Chipotle, and so much more. (Ok, maybe the last one isn't that fantastic, but it was definitely new!)

 

again, be more specific and elaborate on why those things are important to you. how do they make you feel?

 

 

And while I'm an optimistic, I'm also a realist, which means I'm usually happy even when things don't turn out as well as I hoped. (Like when the spicy salsa wasn't as spicy as I'd wanted...)

 

I'd either get rid of the part in parenthesis or include a real example

 

 

 

you should talk more about what you're looking for in a partner too. and feel free to be very polarizing with your attitude like mine. like I said in the past, it's very difficult to schedule dates if your profile doesn't give off any masculine vibes. I'm not a very traditionally masculine person-- I'm not rugged-looking and I don't have huge muscles but my attitude is pretty masculine. more specifically, my straightforward honesty is. I don't think you're being honest enough on your profile. feel free to shed blood too and be "vulnerable" about shit you've been through in the past as long as you also include how it's molded you into a tougher, more resilient person.


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Read my profile :twisted:

 

 

 

I work as an independent contractor in the real estate industry. I chose this career because I hated the idea of having a set schedule. I enjoy being able to travel anywhere I want, whenever I want. If you’re cool, maybe you can tag along. :) Additionally, after spending several years in charge of leading people in college, I realized I don’t enjoy giving orders outside the bedroom and I don’t like having a boss telling me what to do. In other words, I value my independence and freedom. I’m probably the most independent person you’ll ever meet—I’ve got my own place, my own car, and my own money. I enjoy being alone and I can’t remember the last time I felt lonely. So if you’re going to need my attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you should probably talk to someone else or adopt a puppy. :)

 

 

 

I might be coming off as a bit of a jerk, but I do have a very laid-back and carefree personality. Life’s too short to spend worrying so I don’t take it too seriously. It’s hard for anything to get under my skin because when I don’t like something, I change it. If I can’t change it, I embrace it. With that said, I’m pretty flexible with regards to who I’m dating. I don’t care if you’re independent like me, or if you’re a traditionally sweet and submissive type, or if you’re a modern feminist badass type. The bottom line is: if you’re fun to hang out with, we’ll get along. I’ve still got a lot of things I’d like to do before I die and I don’t have much patience for people with negative attitudes. If you’re unpleasant, chances are I won’t want to keep hanging out with you.

 

 

 

I have a love/hate relationship with online dating. On one hand, I like how I don’t have to spend all night out at a noisy bar to meet you; I can just meet you on here with my phone while I sit on the toilet in my pajamas at home. :) But on the other hand, it’s hard for me to convey my full personality and sense of humor through text. For that reason, I’d rather get to know you face-to-face over something simple and relaxing like coffee or drinks instead of just texting back and forth indefinitely. So if you just want to text all day, then you’re more than welcome to keep texting the other dudes on this site who will try to seduce you with unsolicited dick pics. :) Otherwise, let’s meet up and swap stories and laughs. Shoot me a message and we’ll see where it goes.

hey baby

 

.....i like your fire cape

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Read my profile :twisted:

 

 

 

I work as an independent contractor in the real estate industry. I chose this career because I hated the idea of having a set schedule. I enjoy being able to travel anywhere I want, whenever I want. If you’re cool, maybe you can tag along. :) Additionally, after spending several years in charge of leading people in college, I realized I don’t enjoy giving orders outside the bedroom and I don’t like having a boss telling me what to do. In other words, I value my independence and freedom. I’m probably the most independent person you’ll ever meet—I’ve got my own place, my own car, and my own money. I enjoy being alone and I can’t remember the last time I felt lonely. So if you’re going to need my attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you should probably talk to someone else or adopt a puppy. :)

 

 

 

I might be coming off as a bit of a jerk, but I do have a very laid-back and carefree personality. Life’s too short to spend worrying so I don’t take it too seriously. It’s hard for anything to get under my skin because when I don’t like something, I change it. If I can’t change it, I embrace it. With that said, I’m pretty flexible with regards to who I’m dating. I don’t care if you’re independent like me, or if you’re a traditionally sweet and submissive type, or if you’re a modern feminist badass type. The bottom line is: if you’re fun to hang out with, we’ll get along. I’ve still got a lot of things I’d like to do before I die and I don’t have much patience for people with negative attitudes. If you’re unpleasant, chances are I won’t want to keep hanging out with you.

 

 

 

I have a love/hate relationship with online dating. On one hand, I like how I don’t have to spend all night out at a noisy bar to meet you; I can just meet you on here with my phone while I sit on the toilet in my pajamas at home. :) But on the other hand, it’s hard for me to convey my full personality and sense of humor through text. For that reason, I’d rather get to know you face-to-face over something simple and relaxing like coffee or drinks instead of just texting back and forth indefinitely. So if you just want to text all day, then you’re more than welcome to keep texting the other dudes on this site who will try to seduce you with unsolicited dick pics. :) Otherwise, let’s meet up and swap stories and laughs. Shoot me a message and we’ll see where it goes.

hey baby

 

.....i like your fire cape

 

Read your post then immediately looked at your signature. Was not disappointed if slightly creeped out.

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Read my profile :twisted:

 

 

 

I work as an independent contractor in the real estate industry. I chose this career because I hated the idea of having a set schedule. I enjoy being able to travel anywhere I want, whenever I want. If you’re cool, maybe you can tag along. :) Additionally, after spending several years in charge of leading people in college, I realized I don’t enjoy giving orders outside the bedroom and I don’t like having a boss telling me what to do. In other words, I value my independence and freedom. I’m probably the most independent person you’ll ever meet—I’ve got my own place, my own car, and my own money. I enjoy being alone and I can’t remember the last time I felt lonely. So if you’re going to need my attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you should probably talk to someone else or adopt a puppy. :)

 

 

 

I might be coming off as a bit of a jerk, but I do have a very laid-back and carefree personality. Life’s too short to spend worrying so I don’t take it too seriously. It’s hard for anything to get under my skin because when I don’t like something, I change it. If I can’t change it, I embrace it. With that said, I’m pretty flexible with regards to who I’m dating. I don’t care if you’re independent like me, or if you’re a traditionally sweet and submissive type, or if you’re a modern feminist badass type. The bottom line is: if you’re fun to hang out with, we’ll get along. I’ve still got a lot of things I’d like to do before I die and I don’t have much patience for people with negative attitudes. If you’re unpleasant, chances are I won’t want to keep hanging out with you.

 

 

 

I have a love/hate relationship with online dating. On one hand, I like how I don’t have to spend all night out at a noisy bar to meet you; I can just meet you on here with my phone while I sit on the toilet in my pajamas at home. :) But on the other hand, it’s hard for me to convey my full personality and sense of humor through text. For that reason, I’d rather get to know you face-to-face over something simple and relaxing like coffee or drinks instead of just texting back and forth indefinitely. So if you just want to text all day, then you’re more than welcome to keep texting the other dudes on this site who will try to seduce you with unsolicited dick pics. :) Otherwise, let’s meet up and swap stories and laughs. Shoot me a message and we’ll see where it goes.

hey baby

 

.....i like your fire cape

 

Read your post then immediately looked at your signature. Was not disappointed if slightly creeped out.

 

on my computer that image is named littlewinker.gif

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Bonez might be the only person that still uses TIF on desktop mode


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Bonez might be the only person that still uses TIF on desktop mode

I do, too :'(.

 

@muggi:

 

here's what I have so far

 

 

 

My New Years Resolution was to stop waiting around and do something new and fantastic every month. Since then, I've done a bunch. I began working on my degree in Computer Science to fulfill a childhood dream of mine: to make an evil AI to take over the world. In order to satisfy that lack of adrenaline from living life without giant killer monsters, I knocked one of the many amusement parks off my bucket list, Carrowinds!, and was able to ride every coaster in a single day, finishing with the dreaded Fury 325. I attended a giant developer conference relevant to my future career and met with some really cool people who helped me point me in the right direction. And I ate at Chipotle (ok, maybe that one isn't fantastic, but it was new!). If you stand still, you're going to miss life; the last few months have felt like a year!

 

 Although I'm an optimistic, I'm also a realist, which means I'm usually happy even when things didn't turn out as well as I intended. Like when trying to start at a club at my school only to fail... and fail... and fail, I was still content in knowing I tried. And there's still many more semesters to fail, and maybe one time, succeed! Someone who can't be mindful from day to day is not someone I'd hit it off with.

 

does it still sound generic and boring? is this a step in the right direction?

 

news years resolution is a stretch but tbh I literally just said I'm sick of this shit one day and decided to change and here I am but that's not fun

 

I kind of want to mention something about social/political stuff without being too obvious/explicit... but I can't think of anything. I had a few ideas along the lines of "We should make CNN sound like Fox News" but idk. In essence if we can't (mostly) agree on this like feminism, LGBT+ issues, politics, etc it's going to be hard to get along.


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it still sounds generic and boring :P
 

news years resolution is a stretch but tbh I literally just said I'm sick of this shit one day and decided to change and here I am but that's not fun

 
that's what you need to use then because it's honest/true. it just needs to be written/articulated better. something like:
 
"Have you ever felt like [describe how you were feeling], to the point where you were just like, '[bleep] this, enough is enough?' that was me back in _____. I was sick and tired of feeling like ____, that I decided to ____. Since then, I've ____, ____, and ____."
 
This Youtuber is very skilled at articulating his emotions in a way which makes them relatable and understandable to the viewer. His Dragon Ball Z video hit the nail on the head with exactly how I felt watching that show as a kid, and more importantly, people who have never heard of DBZ before can watch that video and gain a sense of appreciation for how others feel about the show. 13:41 in the DBZ video is a good example of how he includes a lot of "emotional context" to illustrate his point.

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If political beliefs are important to you then feel free to mention how “you wont get along” if they dont believe in certain things. Tho to be fair ive never mentioned anything political in my profile so IDK what would happen.

 

Are you tracking your numbers at all?


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I used to track my numbers but I haven't recently.

 

I really have no idea how to not make it sound non-generic. The video you linked to didn't help, he sounded like... someone describing Dragonball Z, I really didn't get the passion outside his voice. So I'm at a loss there. I honestly thought my stuff sounded decent.

 

It also confuses me because most guys bios (admittedly they're not straight but I don't think sexuality has an effect on bio quality?) sare literally "I like x, y, z." with a maybe "looking for x." Mine actually tells a story and makes some attempts at humor? IDK.

 

The question/answer intro is a great idea and I'll work on that. Is it ok if I steal that lol.

 

I'm thinking I'll leave political views off and filter that in person.


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Bonez might be the only person that still uses TIF on desktop mode

TIF desktop mode #represent

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My phone somehow keeps chucking me into desktop mode.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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I used to track my numbers but I haven't recently.

 

I really have no idea how to not make it sound non-generic. The video you linked to didn't help, he sounded like... someone describing Dragonball Z, I really didn't get the passion outside his voice. So I'm at a loss there. I honestly thought my stuff sounded decent.

 

It also confuses me because most guys bios (admittedly they're not straight but I don't think sexuality has an effect on bio quality?) sare literally "I like x, y, z." with a maybe "looking for x." Mine actually tells a story and makes some attempts at humor? IDK.

 

The question/answer intro is a great idea and I'll work on that. Is it ok if I steal that lol.

 

I'm thinking I'll leave political views off and filter that in person.

 

keep in mind my profile is written solely for women. if you're looking for men, you prob don't even need a bio; you just need good pics.

 

if you're trying to pique women's interest, your profile needs to convey that you're:

1. confident

2. smart (but not nerdy or an intellectual)

3. funny (but not goofy)

4. exciting/interesting

5. non-needy/indifferent

6. a bit of a jerk/edgy


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2. edgy

4. me

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I'm definitely on board with muggiws raw honesty point. It should sound less like an interview, and more like what you would post here.


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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lol then I'm doomed to fail because I really have no idea how to describe myself

Look I've done more in the past six months than most anyone has done in five years to improve myself, I'm most likely one of the smartest people in a room, I'm probably the one of the most genuine nice people (no not /r/niceguys nice) you'd meet in real life, I'm a hardcore socialist and ultraleftist that makes Noam Chomsky look like a fox news host, I have an eclectic set of hobbies that encapsulate both feminine and masculine gender roles and I can switch between male/female gender roles easily, I'm super competitive to the point it can negatively affect my life (but it forces me to excel).

 

but I can't just put that, nor do I know how to word that in a way that doesn't sound 'generic' and 'boring'.

 

I'm literally amazing at everything I do but dating just escapes me and it infuriates me so much.


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Veiva, you just described yourself amazingly. Why can't you put that? Or clean it up and put a version of it?

 

Like literally, that got me excited and intrigued all at once.

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Thank you!

 

I took that left out the non-binary stuff and added details:

 

But now I think I'm back at square 1 lol.

 

Hey, here's the rundown: I'm an overly ambitious adventurer with a taste for XXX. I've done more in the past six months to improve myself than most do in five years. My political and social views make Noam Chomsky look like a Fox News host. And I'm a genuine, caring person who smiles even when the sky is falling.

 

Interested? Well then!

 

I began working on my degree in Computer Science within the last year and already have a job in software development, putting me leagues ahead of my peers out of the gate. When I went to Carowinds, I made sure to ride every coaster in a single day, and doubled up on the most popular ones. XXX. The constant desire to excel drives me whether it's fun or work. If you're content standing still, we're not going to jell well.

 

And I've learned to take shortcomings gracefully. I'm an optimistic realist: when things don't go as planned, I still and mindful and enjoy what went right. Like the time I tried to start a club at school and failed... and tried again and again, only to fail again and again. Which led to me to realize, hey, maybe not everyone is interested in it as me, and that's okay. That's why the next time I'm going to provide free pizza! You've got to be mindful in the day to day, or you'll be dragged down by the details.

 

Otherwise, I'm a bit... eclectic. I'm a socialist and lean so far to the left I can see cars in the fourth lane; I look out for my friends and family and treat others with the respect and grace I hope to receive back, even if they're being angry or rude (gotta have the moral high ground!); and my hobbies range from sporty things like bicycling to nerdy things like video games to cutesy things like cooking. I can be dominating and intense, or sweet and caring, at the drop of a hat.

 

Then there's also a tragic backstory that's suited for a superhero movie, but I'll reveal that if we hit it off. :)

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