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Da_Latios

"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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alright

 

I'll just do the other nuclear option and delete my okcupid profile lol

 

I'll create a new one later that presents as straight when I (wrongly) think things will be different.

 

My therapist agrees I should stop dating anyway. It's too depressing. I've been only rejected half a dozen times in the last few weeks so I'm feeling kinda low.


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I’d quit dating for at least 6 months till you have some dope shirtless pics to use from your weight training. There’s no rush, you have plenty of time— it’s not like you’re a woman where dating is a race against the clock :lol:


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You don't need shirtless pics for matches.

 

Damn if I didn't have more trouble with location than with getting matches... Living 20 miles out of the city with parents is a bit bad for dating.

Oh well, gonna change that soon.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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idk if I said it here but I'll never had good shirtless photos because I have way too much loose skin


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I'll never have too nice either, I have a deformed ribcage. But having shirt-on photos where you are buff and at least look strong also help immensely.

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t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Shirtless photos arent essential but they help immensely if you can pull it off. At the very least, like saqs said, you should look buff and strong w/ a shirt on


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Is it normal for people you've been talking to to just stop talking to you?

 

For example, a girl I thought I was friends with (we hung out a few times outside of school and between classes) just stopped talking to me a few weeks after class, and her girlfriend acted weird and dismissive when I bumped into her later. There's about 4 other examples this one just stings the most.

 

There's got to be something wrong with me...

 

I just feel so lonely and I'm /really really really/ tired of it. Stress over relationships (not just intimate/romantic) in general has been indescribable and 1) I don't know why 2) the stress is causing major delusional thinking


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Happens quite often. You win some, you lose some.

Only way to get over it is just keep trying to find new, better people to talk with.

And always helps if, somehow, someway you don't project the depression outside when trying to meet someone new. Gotta show that everything is going perfect in the best possible way. Fake it till you make it.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Totally normal, definitely sucks.


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Happens quite often. You win some, you lose some.

Only way to get over it is just keep trying to find new, better people to talk with.

And always helps if, somehow, someway you don't project the depression outside when trying to meet someone new. Gotta show that everything is going perfect in the best possible way. Fake it till you make it.

 

People are genuinely surprised if I confide in them I have depression and 'high-functioning' schizophrenia. You learn to hide it.


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Damn. I ended up on a girl on Tinder who just wanted to [bleep]. That shit be scary :D


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Hold on to your kidneys!


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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So me being a bit oblivious, I agreed to a friend trying to set me up on a date before I saw the other guy. I've told him what I'm interested in, but... He sent me pictures at some point and I didn't find the guy attractive but I thought hey, maybe his photos are bad. We texted back and forth and he came across a bit needy...

 

...so to prevent my having to in the future say I'm not interested, I dressed really girly (blush + miniskirt + long socks + blouse + [bleep]ing cute vest). I think it worked. He was taken aback (and not in a positive way) by how I was dressed judging by his initial reaction, so I think I was able to let him down indirectly.

 

was that bad

 

I don't like conflict lol it's annoying


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I think the general consensus response will be "Just tell them you don't want to meet." You don't have to provide a reason, and even if you do the fact that youreot interested should be enough. Better to be straight forward, because where would/will you be if the guy actually like(d) the look?

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Sorry I'll do that in the future. Bit dumb way of handling it on my part. D:

 

 

Better to be straight forward, because where would/will you be if the guy actually like(d) the look?

 

maybe I would've liked him then LOL

 

...

 

So I've been going to the gym for a few weeks (3x a week); I've made some progress. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do, and also what I look like, in six months and a year from now...

Edited by Veiva

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Just be upfront and straightforward/honest next time— being dishonest/manipulative like that is a bad habit to get into. Good job with the gym consistency so far, keep it up.


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On the flip side anyone I'd date for a long term relationship would have to be willing to accept my dressing in such a manner or it's not going to work.

 

That really limits my dating pool lol.


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My style is 2nd date disclosing things that I believe or do that are unconventional, controversial, or otherwise break a norm. 

 

It gives them disclosure and time/incentive to warm up to it.

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On the flip side anyone I'd date for a long term relationship would have to be willing to accept my dressing in such a manner or it's not going to work.

 

That really limits my dating pool lol.

 

yes your options are going to be very limited to nonexistant >_> lol

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On the flip side anyone I'd date for a long term relationship would have to be willing to accept my dressing in such a manner or it's not going to work.

 

That really limits my dating pool lol.

 

yes your options are going to be very limited to nonexistant >_> lol

 

I'm not interested in a long term relationship because I doubt I'll find someone who mutually loves me after they get to know me because of my quirks, personality, and mental illness.

 

Dating is a game to me and I want to be good at it. The relationship part is irrelevant.


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I'm not interested in a long term relationship because I doubt I'll find someone who mutually loves me after they get to know me because of my quirks, personality, and mental illness.

 

Dating is a game to me and I want to be good at it. The relationship part is irrelevant.

I used to think that. Sometimes I still do.

I wasn't looking when I met my wife, and I spent a long time enjoying what we had and waiting for her to "wake up" and leave. We just celebrated our third anniversary.

We both have mental health issues (dissociative disorders and friends), but we're mostly functional from an outside view. Maybe it helps that we have some similar struggles.

 

Honestly, I'm kind of glad I missed out on dating. We go out for "date nights" every now and then, but I have a feeling that it's different when you know each other so well.

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In a state of tranquillity, wealth, and luxury, our descendants would forget the arts of war and the noble activity and zeal which made their ancestors invincible. ~Samuel Adams; 1 August, 1776
There are men, in all ages, who mean to exercise power usefully; but who mean to exercise it. They mean to govern well; but they mean to govern. They promise to be kind masters; but they mean to be masters. ~Daniel Webster; 15 March, 1837

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That moment when your last night's date tells you the next morning she should have invited you in to put a beautiful "point" on a day.

Damn that dating with 2 shy people who are not too experienced with body language.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Eh, I see it as a classic string along tactic. I guess you'll find out next time.


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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I feel like I have a ton of problems with first dates. I went on my first date from Tinder in a long time last week. We met up, she was really cute, we had a nice conversation over coffee for like an hour, and...that was it. Like we had a ton in common but we never really broke past talking about mutual interests / kinda small talk-y background stuff. Like at the end of the day this was one date and maybe this girl just wasn't attracted to me in person or something but I feel like I'm doing something wrong with how many of my dates I've been on have ended this way, like I need to find a way to make these more fun. bleh, just kinda frustrating, especially when I've been in a way better place mentally lately and I just want that to translate to other areas in my life I've been trying to improve on lol.

 

But it's all a process I guess and at least I'm finally trying again - a string of bad dates / an extended bout of depression after moving here  / latent oneitis / excessive weed use really set me back for a while and now I'm just trying to make up for what feels like lost time now that I've mostly moved past these things.

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