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Powman3
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When I got caught smoking cigs I knew I was lucky enough to be grounded for only two weeks

 

 

 

Here's your problem, man. I'm not going to tell you not to smoke but wait until you're older. It's not as hard on your parents if they catch you smoking when you're 18. You're only 14 now. My bro is 14 and I won't let him smoke at home. My parents don't know that I smoke cigarettes and the last thing I need is to give my bro one and have him get caught. As I said, I got busted for weed so I'm in roughly the same boat as you. You just have to deal with it. You got busted, just accept the punishment and move on. In time your parents will lighten up on you.

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Move out of the house. I mean, it's their house, their rules.

 

 

 

Oh wait... 14 lol

 

I never understood this logic... this basically allows child abuse. #-o

 

 

 

Its all about mutalality (SP) as long as both sides keeps their part clean. The OP lost his when he smoked in Jr. High....High school is understandable, but Jr. High? I wouldn't trust my kid after that neither.

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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My parents tend to keep an eye on my in general. My friends, internet activity, time spent on games consols/online etc. I've caught my mum going through my stuff before, as if she is trying to find something incriminating. O_o

 

 

 

I've nothing to hide though, it's just annoying that I can't have decent personal life, since they seem to need to know everything. I remember one time I had a friend who wasn't really at a 'middle class', and my mother wasn't too happy about me being friends with him. :S My family are snobs though.. :wall:

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There have been times where I have thrown temper tantrums around. But most of the time they're started by people who just don't get my problem.

 

 

 

Yes, that would be it. People just don't "get" you. Seems to be a common problem amongst teenagers. Perhaps you should stop and think that, maybe, you don't get what they're saying?

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I remember i was going to my then-current girlfriend when i was 15 or 16, in the evening, and when i had tied my shoes and was about to go out my mom asked me "do you need any condoms?".. I said something like "uhm.. erhm... I'm fine. Bye.". (going off-topic but.. ah..)

 

 

 

 

Oh god, how I am dreading for that to happen...

 

 

 

I am fully honest with my parents, and it works for me. They let me stay up as long as I want, and when I go somewhere I just tell them where are a general time when I'm going to be back. If I stay out later than I told them, they don't worry too much, and just expect me to come back a little later next time.

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you know there is a place called outside, better graphics 100% pvp and no fee to play :-w
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There have been times where I have thrown temper tantrums around. But most of the time they're started by people who just don't get my problem.

 

 

 

Yes, that would be it. People just don't "get" you. Seems to be a common problem amongst teenagers. Perhaps you should stop and think that, maybe, you don't get what they're saying?

 

 

 

You're being stereotypical.

 

 

 

It's not a problem. It's just an annoyance.

 

 

 

EDIT: When I say "don't get it" they don't bother to think about what I say. That doesn't mean my parents. I take my own time to explain things to them. I'm talking about crappy school counselors, principals, and other people who just throw statements at me and how I did things wrong when they don't bother to hear me out. Those are the people I dislike. Although my old counselor wasn't too bad, he helped me get into the high school I wanted, and I respect him for that...

 

 

 

I'm not some emo kid. I went through that phase. Seriously. It sucked. I ain't gonna lie. I thought about suicide, then I just thought "Hey, this isn't healthy." I now play football and I have awesome friends. I love my life, my friends, my family (well, the majority) and the fact that I'm still alive (I'm no religious freak by the way).

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It's true, and you know it Pow. We all get angsty and often turn tiny problems into bigger ones, and our parents haven't been teenagers fr so long they actually don't get it.

 

 

 

Doesn't make our problems any less crap, though :lol:

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Maybe I am but honestly you sound just like the typical teenager so I'm just going by what I'm given.

 

 

 

Crap. You're right. Both of you.

 

 

 

Don't you hate when you look back at things and realize you are what people tell you? Gah. Ticks me off.

 

 

 

Well, I'm just gonna accept the fact that they're paranoid.

 

 

 

I really appreciate the help guys. Although some of you like to judge, that's okay [/sarcasm]. They make great money nowadays.

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Maybe I am but honestly you sound just like the typical teenager so I'm just going by what I'm given.

 

 

 

Crap. You're right. Both of you.

 

 

 

Don't you hate when you look back at things and realize you are what people tell you? Gah. Ticks me off.

 

 

 

Well, I'm just gonna accept the fact that they're paranoid.

 

 

 

I really appreciate the help guys. Although some of you like to judge, that's okay [/sarcasm]. They make great money nowadays.

 

 

 

 

 

So you're accepting Nadril's statement and then blaming your parents for being paranoid? Gah! Falling more into the stereotype as we speak :wall: .

 

 

 

Also, you can't call yourself mature when you don't respect someone for just disagreeing with you, because that's what children do. If every adult didn't respect his boss for telling him to do a better job, wouldn't the world be full of teenagers? :o

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My parents were the same as yours when i was 14, and i can see them being the same with my sister who is about the same age as you. I found honesty was the best policy at that age, try to not make it look like i was hiding anything from them, tell them where i was going/when i'd be back etc then as i got older they became more relaxed and let me do my own thing.

 

 

 

I don't think getting caught with cigarettes helped your parents either, with the whole "If he's smoking cigarettes, what else is he doing?" mindset parents can take, which is understandable really, especially at an impressionable age.

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Well, I'm 14 too. A lot of kids I know are just like you, and, a lot more parents I know are just as protective. At 14, I think that our parents still have a right to look into our stuff to a degree. They were our age once and they probably went through the same [cabbage] from their parents as we do from them. I'm assuming as they grew up they came to the conclusion that at this age, they were extremely irresponsible. I'm sure there's probably at least a grain of truth in that. There's no way to avoid it, so the best way is to live with it calmly.

 

 

 

Now, as a kid, I hate them going through my stuff, and I'm sure you know that it's annoying as hell. But that's just how parents are. Now, as everyone else said, you gotta try to "earn their trust back". If it makes you happy - the less "Stuff" you do now, the more freedom you'll have later. Take my brothers for example. One wasn't known to be overly responsible, but the other was. While the irresponsible one was older than the responsible one, my parents still gave less [cabbage] to the younger one when he went out, and he could go out just as late (sometimes later). It's all because they thought that they could trust him going out with his friends and stuff more than they could the other. I've tried to not screw around much, and to me, my parents are pretty lax too. Sure, they ask for names and sometimes numbers, but I just "go with the flow" for now. It earns their trust, which makes it easier for you later.

 

 

 

THat's just my two-cents

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I didn't just do it recently. I got caught back in February.

 

 

 

Lol, that's quite recent.

 

 

 

I think you're lucky your parents arn't worse, mine were when I was your age. Now they're more relaxed.

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To keep them from going through your stuff, buy padlocks and deadbolts for your door(s). Don't tell them where you're going when they ask, unless it is something harmless. (Library , job interview, looking at apartments to rent, record store, ect.)

There is no meaning or truth in life but that which we create for ourselves.

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To keep them from going through your stuff, buy padlocks and deadbolts for your door(s). Don't tell them where you're going when they ask, unless it is something harmless. (Library , job interview, looking at apartments to rent, record store, ect.)

 

 

 

That's terrible advice :|

 

 

 

All that will do is make his parents frustrated and angry, worsening his situation.

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To keep them from going through your stuff, buy padlocks and deadbolts for your door(s). Don't tell them where you're going when they ask, unless it is something harmless. (Library , job interview, looking at apartments to rent, record store, ect.)

 

 

 

That's terrible advice :|

 

 

 

All that will do is make his parents frustrated and angry, worsening his situation.

 

 

 

Although I believe the padlock thing is a joke, it's likely to seem the most appealing thing to do no matter how logical and sound the other advice is. It's standard teenager behavior and there's nothing you can do about it until you are simply out from under your parents' scrutiny.

 

 

 

I turn sixteen in three weeks, and I can very much sympathize with Powman, although my problems stem more from tension with my dad. (Two males butting heads can get ugly, especially when they're polar opposites.) As much as I know what I should do, I'm too stubborn, proud, and typically rebellious to buckle down and do it.

 

 

 

But never despair, for once you get older you'll have to deal with them less (my parents are pretty trusting, as I said before that's not where my trouble is) and after you've made a few more stupid decisions that will hopefully be instructional you will be fine ;)

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To keep them from going through your stuff, buy padlocks and deadbolts for your door(s). Don't tell them where you're going when they ask, unless it is something harmless. (Library , job interview, looking at apartments to rent, record store, ect.)

 

 

 

That's terrible advice :|

 

 

 

All that will do is make his parents frustrated and angry, worsening his situation.

 

 

 

Although I believe the padlock thing is a joke, it's likely to seem the most appealing thing to do no matter how logical and sound the other advice is. It's standard teenager behavior and there's nothing you can do about it until you are simply out from under your parents' scrutiny.

 

 

 

I turn sixteen in three weeks, and I can very much sympathize with Powman, although my problems stem more from tension with my dad. (Two males butting heads can get ugly, especially when they're polar opposites.) As much as I know what I should do, I'm too stubborn, proud, and typically rebellious to buckle down and do it.

 

 

 

But never despair, for once you get older you'll have to deal with them less (my parents are pretty trusting, as I said before that's not where my trouble is) and after you've made a few more stupid decisions that will hopefully be instructional you will be fine ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, it was a joke.. :roll:

 

 

 

Just try to do your best to make your parents trust you, make sure to let them know when you're going to be gone for a long time, that sort of thing. They'll stop eventually, once they've realized that you are your own person. That, and you will probably be moving out ~4-8 years from now, and then you'll be able to do things without them bothering over every detail. Remember, they do honestly think that they're doing it for your own good.

There is no meaning or truth in life but that which we create for ourselves.

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Maybe I am but honestly you sound just like the typical teenager so I'm just going by what I'm given.

 

 

 

Crap. You're right. Both of you.

 

 

 

Don't you hate when you look back at things and realize you are what people tell you? Gah. Ticks me off.

 

 

 

Well, I'm just gonna accept the fact that they're paranoid.

 

 

 

I really appreciate the help guys. Although some of you like to judge, that's okay [/sarcasm]. They make great money nowadays.

 

 

 

 

 

So you're accepting Nadril's statement and then blaming your parents for being paranoid? Gah! Falling more into the stereotype as we speak :wall: .

 

 

 

Also, you can't call yourself mature when you don't respect someone for just disagreeing with you, because that's what children do. If every adult didn't respect his boss for telling him to do a better job, wouldn't the world be full of teenagers? :o

 

 

 

I wasn't blaming them for anything. I know they're paranoid, but that's how parents are.

 

 

 

You enjoy judging people, I see.

 

 

 

EDIT: I wish would just get off my back! GOD! [/sarcasm]

 

 

 

Haha. I had to say that.

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I'd say that the only reason your parents are "paranoid" is because they have caught you with cigs, atleast twice, and recently too. I'd definitely say to either find somewhere you can keep them safe, but while still looking inconspicuous. For instance, don't just put them in some mini-safe. I'd say to get/make something with a false bottom. I'm pretty sure my brother did that when he owed my parents money.

 

 

 

However, I'd say the best think to do would be to stop smoking. Better to get rid of the thing thats making your parents paranoid for a bit than try to hide and possibly make your parents more concerned/suspicious.

There's no such thing as regret. A regret means you are unhappy with the person you are now,

and if you're unhappy with the person you are, you change yourself. That

regret will no longer be a regret, because it will help to form the new,

better you. So really, a regret isn't a regret.

It's experience.

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I'd say that the only reason your parents are "paranoid" is because they have caught you with cigs, atleast twice, and recently too. I'd definitely say to either find somewhere you can keep them safe, but while still looking inconspicuous. For instance, don't just put them in some mini-safe. I'd say to get/make something with a false bottom. I'm pretty sure my brother did that when he owed my parents money.

 

 

 

However, I'd say the best think to do would be to stop smoking. Better to get rid of the thing thats making your parents paranoid for a bit than try to hide and possibly make your parents more concerned/suspicious.

 

 

 

I stopped. And I didn't do it for that long, either. Besides, I play football. I woulda had to stop anyway.

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I'd say that the only reason your parents are "paranoid" is because they have caught you with cigs, atleast twice, and recently too. I'd definitely say to either find somewhere you can keep them safe, but while still looking inconspicuous. For instance, don't just put them in some mini-safe. I'd say to get/make something with a false bottom. I'm pretty sure my brother did that when he owed my parents money.

 

 

 

However, I'd say the best think to do would be to stop smoking. Better to get rid of the thing thats making your parents paranoid for a bit than try to hide and possibly make your parents more concerned/suspicious.

 

 

 

I stopped. And I didn't do it for that long, either. Besides, I play football. I woulda had to stop anyway.[/quote]

 

 

 

I would disagree with that. I know several people who are very good at sports and still smoke, like two guys on my hockey team, and probably more than that on my rugby team.

 

 

 

No offense, but Rugby>Football. Nothing like stepping on the face of that kid you just smashed up :twisted:

 

 

 

I'm kidding, kind of.

There's no such thing as regret. A regret means you are unhappy with the person you are now,

and if you're unhappy with the person you are, you change yourself. That

regret will no longer be a regret, because it will help to form the new,

better you. So really, a regret isn't a regret.

It's experience.

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I've read through this entire thing, and I quite agree with the statements said about being a typical teenager. You aren't the first person with this issue, and I'm pretty sure your kids will think the same thing of you when you have them. It's normal, and there really isn't much you can do.

 

 

 

TBH, you are extremely lucky that that's the only problem you have with your parents. I had no social life at that age, and didn't get one until I was 16, because of my fater being very overprotective. Try having someone with hunting rifles scaring any guy in high school you'd want to date away by pointing guns at them. It's not fun.

 

 

 

So, yeah, honestly, just deal with it. It's not the end of the world, and there are more important things that you'll deal with later.

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I stopped. And I didn't do it for that long, either. Besides, I play football. I woulda had to stop anyway.

 

 

 

I would disagree with that. I know several people who are very good at sports and still smoke, like two guys on my hockey team, and probably more than that on my rugby team.

 

 

 

No offense, but Rugby>Football. Nothing like stepping on the face of that kid you just smashed up :twisted:

 

 

 

I'm kidding, kind of.

 

 

 

Haha. I like rugby, too.

 

 

 

Anyway, I also have asthma, so it just would've increased my problems even more.

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Seriously dude, you ARE the typical teenager. Look at your posts. You're not looking for advice, you're looking for people to agree with you. I hope you're aware that you're talking to people that have gone through the same phase as you - I just went through that phase. I had protective parents - i couldnt go out often, they'd look through my stuff, i'd let my anger get the best of me when they didnt "get" me. and i got my license when i was 18 (as opposed to 17, the legal driving age in my state. I'm 18 now.). And you know what? I never broke my parent's trust.

 

 

 

Now all they need to know is where I'm going. They dont question me. Why? They trust me, as protective as they still are.

 

 

 

But you clearly and obviously lost your parent's trust, and you're only 14. You lie to yourself every time you think you parents don't understand you - one, biologically you ARE just like your parents. and two, they undoubtedly have experience, most likely during a time more liberal with illegal activities than now.

 

 

 

So heres a little info - the best time to have your parent's trust is when you get your license. Your parents have full control of when you get your driving permit and when you get your license. Thats age 16 then 17. Make an investment now - get your parent's trust back. If you have nothing to hide, don't try to hide anything. If you want to do something, let them know. Get over the fact that you don't understand anything, and that your attitude is fueled mostly by uncontrollable hormones. Most people understand after this phase. If you don't, then you truely [bleep]ed up, and it'd be your fault.

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