Today...

[Veiva]

I learned a couple things:

 

1) Off-by-one errors are a [bleep]

2) NaNs are a [bleep]

 

I spent all day on two small issues stemming from off-by-one errors and an initialized matrix resulting in NaN.

[MuffinMaddy]

Your investment in relationships will go down as you date more.

 

As for him he was abusive and it's not your fault and anything you do to him to get him to change is justified

 

 

I'm actually so selective with who I date as well, though. It's just that my selection is awful.

I didn't date on my year abroad at all so I didn't really invest anything in anyone there, but I got attached to this guy pretty damn quickly and it was hard to loosen the attachment even when things became increasingly negative. I've already cracked, I've bought his "I love and care about you Maddy" spiel and unblocked him on WhatsApp, but at least I sent the report. I've kept the voice clip just to de-program myself so to speak and give myself the reality check that THIS GUY STRANGLED ME, WHY DO I STILL CARE ABOUT THE LEVEL OF PUNISHMENT HE GETS.

 

I don't understand why all I think about is HIM and how HE will feel, why is the focus on him when I'm the one who's been physically assaulted?

I can't seem to focus on myself because all I think is those "You're such a drama queen/stop victimising yourself/ stop being emotional" reactions to any time I displayed a remotely negative emotion.

 

I just feel terrible because I'm one of his supervisors at our job. We do the exact same course. We live less than 3 minutes away from each other. This was always going to be a bad idea, but I always thought if we fell out, it would just be a clash of ideas, that it wouldn't be anything serious like this. We didn't even start out by dating, but maybe the drugs need to stop because it only became romantic after one of those nights. Either way, I am going to be clean for the entire month and try and get started/finished on some of my assignments due in for next semester. I have an average of 85% right now and I'm relieved that none of the crazy things that have happened this semester have disturbed that.

[MuffinMaddy]

I think you should just perma block him everywhere and start dating again. 

 

If you find yourself being super selective but always ending up with baddies try looking at someone safe but boring like the asian dude with an engineering degree. 

 

 

And you can cope with your feelings by positive social interactions or self improvement (gym, skills, work) as well. The funny thing about using these ways of coping is in a few weeks to a few months suddenly you find that your okay and better off than you were before the break up.

 

I've joked about this before with a friend "My type is white boys who abuse me."

But seriously, you have no idea what a baddie looks like sometimes.

The boys I avoid are the stereotypical "would [bleep] with your mental health" types (DJs, sports players, business students) but at least you can see them from a mile off.

I watch my friends get [bleep]ed over by these types of guys, but the behaviour of these types of guys is almost predictable, and my friends seem to bounce back pretty quickly.

 

My ex boyfriend was a computer science student, seemed sweet, but absolutely destroyed my mental health in a two-year relationship. I've been single for seven months.

This guy, Biochemistry student, once again, seems sweet, trustworthy. Invites me to events constantly. Absolutely continued the destruction of my mental health (but by this point I was used to people chipping away at my mental health) but then this guy physically assaults me and I have no idea wtf to think.

 

I think one of the reasons I don't bounce back so quickly is because I'm hyper critical of myself, my actions - I wonder what I did so wrong to end up in these situations. Instead of accepting that people are horrible and nasty and that I didn't deserve to get strangled, I wonder what I could have done to avoid getting assaulted, and that's [bleep]ed up but I need to find a way out of that type of thinking.

[RpgGamer]

Don't stereotype djs jocks and whatever else as a whole entity. You can definitely be good at sports or a dj and still be a nice functional human. If anything I expect the nerdy type people to be more abusive out of lack of knowledge on how to properly socialise. Just find a functional person, don't judge them by their interests or major.

 

Also, block the shit out of anyone who abuses you. They'll only continue to abuse you.

[obfuscator]

Don't stereotype djs jocks and whatever else as a whole entity. You can definitely be good at sports or a dj and still be a nice functional human. If anything I expect the nerdy type people to be more abusive out of lack of knowledge on how to properly socialise. Just find a functional person, don't judge them by their interests or major.

 

Also, block the shit out of anyone who abuses you. They'll only continue to abuse you.

I love how in your first two sentences you say not to stereotype and in your third you stereotype ;)

[MuffinMaddy]

Don't stereotype djs jocks and whatever else as a whole entity. You can definitely be good at sports or a dj and still be a nice functional human. If anything I expect the nerdy type people to be more abusive out of lack of knowledge on how to properly socialise. Just find a functional person, don't judge them by their interests or major.

Also, block the shit out of anyone who abuses you. They'll only continue to abuse you.

I was actually kinda being tongue in cheek. I don't date guys based on the subject they study or if they play a sport. I play women's football and I was in the trampolining team two years ago. My ex was a tennis player and I'm fully aware that your hobbies don't inform your character /personality

 

Anyway I blocked him, I think I need time to recover and I've written my statement, submitted the audio file and I'll try my very best not to think about the incident too much. I quit a shift at work for some space but I hope I can do my job properly when I return next week. Whatever the punishment ends up being, I do genuinely hope he can get help for his anger.

 

In reply to you, ring world: I'm not much of an argumentative person I'd always just let him rant at me. Looking back I'm not really sure if I liked hanging out with him, getting high with him was always a laugh though. The sexual chemistry has got to be the best thing we had, I've never been so attracted to someone sexually but I'm cool with that being over. We always said that it needed to stop but it just kind of wouldn't...

 

It sounds [bleep]ed up but I literally wish I could get closure to this. I never will though I just want to know what makes you strangle someone that clearly cares for you

[RpgGamer]

 

Don't stereotype djs jocks and whatever else as a whole entity. You can definitely be good at sports or a dj and still be a nice functional human. If anything I expect the nerdy type people to be more abusive out of lack of knowledge on how to properly socialise. Just find a functional person, don't judge them by their interests or major.

 

Also, block the shit out of anyone who abuses you. They'll only continue to abuse you.

I love how in your first two sentences you say not to stereotype and in your third you stereotype ;)

After poorly phrased way of saying anyone can be anything if you put them in a box for sure

[Estonian dude]

[bleep]ing much to do.

 

Way to go Maddy. Gotta report that stuff. Don't worry about the guy, he will manage. Or at least has to manage. Dare to do something like that, dare to take the responsibility.

 

PS: Drugs are bad. Keep off them.

 

On a different topic, found out that there is the possibility that I am spending the last Christmas ever with my whole family...

[Boris5000]

Well that is ominous and foreboding saq.

[RpgGamer]

His knee is terminally ill. Without his knees, he's no longer Saq. This is his last Christmas with knees.

[Hedgehog]

https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverysmart/comments/5jrkex/_/

 

http://forum.tip.it/user/166238-hobgoblinpie/

 

:(

[Tesset]

I slept for 12-13 hours yesterday, and I still can't [bleep]ing get up and out of bed this morning.

 

Depression [bleep]ing sucks.

[obfuscator]

post was deleted whats the connection?

 

I'm assuming he wrote something ridiculous about the russian ambassador assassination in turkey.

looks like he made that reddit post and then deleted his account

[Boris5000]

His knee is terminally ill. Without his knees, he's no longer Saq. This is his last Christmas with knees.

RIP KNEES

[RpgGamer]

So uh, what's up with hobgob?

[Hedgehog]

Someone on reddit had the username hobgoblinpie. Not sure if it's the same guy though

 

And then he deleted his account lol

 

Oops

[Alg]

His knee is terminally ill. Without his knees, he's no longer Saq. This is his last Christmas with knees.

This is The Final Christmas.

[obfuscator]

hobgoblinpie is a pretty specific username

 

it's not like it was XXkillapussyslaya69 or something

[Tesset]

hobgoblinpie is a pretty specific username

 

it's not like it was XXkilla[kitty]slaya69 or something

I feel the same about Tylerelyt, but I'm relyt199 on a lot of websites ;-;

[Bonez899]

 

hobgoblinpie is a pretty specific username

 

it's not like it was XXkilla[kitty]slaya69 or something

I feel the same about Tylerelyt, but I'm relyt199 on a lot of websites ;-;

And now we know and can find you no matter what happens... Muahuhuh

[RpgGamer]

So again, what warranted an the unsmile face?

 

Today my buddy in the army came home. Been drinking. Basically all I feel is a need to either [bleep] or fight. Neither of which I can do. So I'm left frustrated, sipping beer outside to try to center myself

[Ember]

.

[RpgGamer]

So my army buddy had a bunch of people from all over come out, but our one friend who we've hung out with for like a decade decided he'd rather hang out with his slam piece. Not cool man, not cool

[Lower Levelled]

So my army buddy had a bunch of people from all over come out, but our one friend who we've hung out with for like a decade decided he'd rather hang out with his slam piece. Not cool man, not cool

Doesn't matter had sex

[RpgGamer]

Yeah but she looks and acts like garbage, and him ditching us for young girls has always been a joke. Shame cause he was dating a cool nurse earlier this year before he decided to sleep with this other girl and a dude they worked with at the same time instead. He's kind of a doofus