Today...

[The Observer]

 

I've dated a lot of younger girls and the generational gap was obvious (difference of 3 years or so). Although, I've never dated anyone older... anyone with experiences with that?

My current partner is 8 years older than me. There are a few generational differences. I frequently get chastised for not knowing certain films or knowing particular music but casually watching films isn't one of my interests as I'd rather read or play a video game to pass the time.

 

I wouldn't say there isn't much of a generational gap and she seems more in tune with the times than I am.

 

 

 

I've dated a girl 4 years younger and at another time 4 years older.

 

Maybe its just because it was 4 years either way but we were in the same life stage (university students) so it wasn't weird

 

I dated a girl who was 4 years younger once too. I guess since I was 24 and she was 20 there was a difference of maturity. She did end up cheating on me. Maybe I shouldn't blame the age gap though; she did have a lot of problems herself.

 

I'm cancelling my lafitness gym membership because I have access to a cheaper gym option because of my job.

 

In order to cancel I need to go on the website, sign in, and print out a form and mail it. On the site it has a list of all the visits I've done since december last year. I've gone 121 times since dec 13th 2017. Not a perfect track record but I'm glad I stayed constant. 

 

I had access to a gym at my summer job. Now that I have access to a gym at my new university, I haven't even tried it out yet. It's been bad. Four whole months and I haven't been. I need to start getting into it. 

 

Anyone have any generic advice for getting back into it after a while?

[The Observer]

I know today and tomorrow may be tough since I'm working/helping out with Remembrance Day ceremonies tomorrow (I'm also currently posting this from work). I guess Monday is a good starting point.

 

What's funny is that I've always had an issue with eating and gaining weight. I'm at a "healthy" weight according to BMI, but my body shape is rather thin. Like I said on the other thread, struggling with a lot of things that involve lifting is kind of embarassing but it can also affect patient care.

[Veiva]

I know today and tomorrow may be tough since I'm working/helping out with Remembrance Day ceremonies tomorrow (I'm also currently posting this from work). I guess Monday is a good starting point.

 

What's funny is that I've always had an issue with eating and gaining weight. I'm at a "healthy" weight according to BMI, but my body shape is rather thin. Like I said on the other thread, struggling with a lot of things that involve lifting is kind of embarassing but it can also affect patient care.

muggi's advice to me should be the same: https://forum.tip.it/topic/192134-i-want-a-girlfriendboyfriend-and-other-such-relationship-advice/page-975?do=findComment&comment=5602758

 

In any case I've been going since ... 26 september? So a month later I went to 90 lb squat, 110 lb deadlift, and 60 lb bench press from ~40 lb, ~70 lb, and just barbell (so 20 lb). Next time I go (Monday) I'm going to try and go up 10 lbs since it felt easy today. I can easily move the barbell with one hand, now, too.

 

I go 3x a week. Not always M/T/F, but always 3x a week unless it's like impossible or would interfere with more important things. (For example, last week, I went on a hook-up Friday evening + had work during the day; and Monday I had a 17 hour work/school day). I still managed 2x in that week.

 

For context, I work two jobs, do freelance work, am making my own game, am going to school full time, and have a social life.

[Arceus]

I'm getting a lot of memory type errors on the RS client. I hope it's nothing on my end...

[Goonstalf]

my grandma took me to play bingo with her once at her old persons home

[Veiva]

Some days I do great, some days I do terrible.

 

I went to a pub with a bunch of coworkers. I tried approaching girls but chickened out. I had probably six shots in 2 hours and felt nothing. (I can stand balanced on one leg. The world isn't wobbly. I'm still freezing.) I approached one girl and the conversation ended quickly.

 

I hate myself but I hate where I live more.

 

I hate myself because I'm not masculine enough nor am I feminine enough (i.e., I'm an unattractive shit stain) and I hate the Fayetteville because [bleep] the military industrial complex, [bleep] patriotism, and [bleep] contractors/corporations that make private money by dealing death.

[Tesset]

I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol

[muggiwhplar]

I hate myself because I'm not masculine enough nor am I feminine enough (i.e., I'm an unattractive shit stain)

 

Those two traits seem mutually exclusive... hard for me to empathize since I can't think of any situation where I'd want to be more feminine. But seems like if I were bisexual, within the context of dating, I'd want to behave as femininely around men as possible and as masculinely around women as possible. But your body sort of forces you to choose one or the other. If you end up getting muscular, you're going to be perceived as masculine by default, and vice versa if you don't remain consistent in the gym.

 

You've probably already done this, but if I were in your shoes I'd be searching the internet/forums for bisexual men who have what you want in terms of dating success with both men and women; and then see if you can copy what they did to emulate their success

[Veiva]

I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol

[bleep] off I wasn't.

 

I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk"

 

@muggi

 

It's evident I'm unattractive or have other qualities that make me worthless so dating is pointless.

[The Observer]

I think the key is confidence, both male and female. If you feel like you are unattractive, you will create an aura that you are, turning them off. If you can find some way to work through the feelings that you're having, you will have better results.

[muggiwhplar]

 

I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol

[bleep] off I wasn't.

 

I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk"

 

@muggi

 

It's evident I'm unattractive or have other qualities that make me worthless so dating is pointless.

 

 

I already recommended taking a break from dating for 6-12 months until your gym results start manifesting for this very reason. I don't think you're capable of dating women right now (for various reasons); you're just going to be disappointing and frustrating yourself, which will affect your self-confidence. At least if you take a break from the failures, you'll have time to rekindle some hope for when you try again in better shape

[Tesset]

 

I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol

[bleep] off I wasn't.

 

I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk"

 

Sorry. That was insensitive of me. I hope things turn around for you soon, or at least, that you can put the dating problems out of your mind a little.

[Veiva]

...

The pub was just the straw that broke the camels back. I'm doing /too much/. I'm under so much stress I'm having a hard time breathing. I'm working two jobs AND going to school full time AND doing freelance work AND working on a game (with the hope it sells well). The game is detrimental because I know it's going to be a flop and everyone's going to hate it when I post the demo. That's nearly a years worth of work going to be wasted. Between work and school I have little freetime, and the freetime I have is spent doing freelance work or game development.

 

I hate my hobbies anymore. I haven't read or played a video game or writtten or drawn for myself and enjoyed it in months.

 

I'm doing too much and I'm going to relapse and lose all the progress I've made.
 

 

 

I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol

[bleep] off I wasn't.

I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk"

@muggi

It's evident I'm unattractive or have other qualities that make me worthless so dating is pointless.

 

I already recommended taking a break from dating for 6-12 months until your gym results start manifesting for this very reason. I don't think you're capable of dating women right now (for various reasons); you're just going to be disappointing and frustrating yourself, which will affect your self-confidence. At least if you take a break from the failures, you'll have time to rekindle some hope for when you try again in better shape

 

I'm always going to have loose skin ergo I'm always going to be unattractive no matter what I do.
 

 

 

I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol

[bleep] off I wasn't.

I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk"

 

Sorry. That was insensitive of me. I hope things turn around for you soon, or at least, that you can put the dating problems out of your mind a little.

 

I think I should've committed myself because I feel no better now than I did when I walked in. I went to sleep for 4 hours and swear it's been 12 because I've had over what felt like a dozen vivid horrible dreams already.

[Bonez899]

I think part of the break isn't just for the gym and your body part. I think part of it is just for the mindset change and boost in confidence. Looking good is feeling good and that will never hurt your odds in finding a relationship.

 

In addition while you aren't looking for shallow people, being in good shape is a good opener, passing the first checkpoint/gate so to speak, and allowing you more opportunity to find a deep connection by causing a general increase in first dates.

 

Edit: Veiva you changed your post, but general statement still stands.

[Noxx]

I "dated" an older girl for a while. I'm not really sure what we were to be honest. Maybe we were just [bleep]buddies that went out together every now and then. I don't think we had any real issues because of our age gap. Mostly all of our issues came from our personalities clashing. She was extremely flaky. Would sometimes be impossible to make plans with her and even when you manage to make plans with her she sometimes just didn't even follow through. Sex was great, which is probably why i stuck around for as long as i did. Even when i was with her though, i never really gave much thought to age. I don't know if my surroundings and the past 10 years of my life has made me less concerned about age. I had/have a lot of friends who are anywhere from 6 years younger to 10 years older than i am.  If someone isn't outright acting like a child, it's hard for me to really give any notice to their age.

 

Girl game around again the other night. We had a conversation the day before about her wanting to take things slow because she didn't want to rush things, or do anything she might regret. She also told me about how she feels like she has a target on her back now that she's single again, and she's been getting hit on a lot more by guys that know she's single now. She told me she just wanted to hang out with someone and not fear that they're going to try make a move on her the whole time. So she came over, and i decided that i just would not initiate anything that night. I like hanging out with her. I don't want her to get the impression that i'm only after one thing. 

So we were watching a movie, and she kept moving a bit closer and closer till she was basically sitting with her head on my shoulder. When the credits started rolling she looked at me, kissed me, told me that she liked me, and just kept looking at me with a smile on her face. Not gonna lie, i melted a bit. So i feel like things are headed in the right direction. I think things are moving at a good pace. I think i tend to rush sex a bit too much sometimes, which is fine for some people, but not for me. I kind of have a hard time keeping emotions separate from sex. I'll sleep with a girl and develop feeling that really wasn't ever there. So i think for once i actually want to see how i feel about someone before i start rushing things in that direction. 

[RpgGamer]

It's good that you recognize that

[Ginger_Warrior]

Take things slowly on that one, Noxx. I'm sure she likes you, however, she's said she doesn't want to rush into intimacy; therefore, doing so would be the fastest way of stopping it dead. Also, if she's newly single, she might not be ready to jump into something that deep at first.

[Estonian dude]

Why is #relationshipthread invading the Today?

 

3 days of hardcore drinking, performances and fun. Total of 3,5h of sleep, sth like 40 beers, 2 bottles of vodka, 20 long drinks and some cocktails in between. It was rough, so tired, and still hungover.

[muggiwhplar]

Sounds like Noxx is headed straight for the friend zone, but I could be wrong :P

[Veiva]

So I scheduled a new appointment with my med management doctor (14 December ugh) and my therapist (Thursday).

 

I'm feeling better (not the terrible crippling depression & sadness, just extreme sadness). But despite it, I got up at 5:00 am, dropped off my doctor's note at my Staples job, scheduled the two appointments, went to school, and went to work...

 

You can be depressed and do nothing, or depressed and do something. I choose to do something. Might as well be productive if I'm going to be down regardless.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I think that's a really positive way of looking at the situation. Good luck with it, it'll serve you well.

[Estonian dude]

Haven't really dated an older girl yet and hot bloody damn, a girl I matched on Tinder with googled my real name and found this forum... All my secrets laid bare to the world. Safe to say, she was not amused with quite a bit of it.

 

I think I mentioned how I am super easy to find due to my unique name...

[RpgGamer]

Youre already showing vast signs of improvement Veiva

[muggiwhplar]

 

 

Sounds like Noxx is headed straight for the friend zone, but I could be wrong :P

Eh, been in his situation if she loses interest odds are someone else will come along anyways.

Same. When a girl says something like how she wants to take things slow, that’s usually woman-language for either “I’m not interested in having sex with you, but I still want your attention” or “I know you want to have sex with me, and I might have sex with you too, but I want to see if I can get you to comply with my preferences and wait for sex so I can be in control of the relationship and lose attraction for you sooner for allowing me to do this”

[RpgGamer]

Haven't really dated an older girl yet and hot bloody damn, a girl I matched on Tinder with googled my real name and found this forum... All my secrets laid bare to the world. Safe to say, she was not amused with quite a bit of it.

 

I think I mentioned how I am super easy to find due to my unique name...

Yo that sucks