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#53901
muggiwhplar
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I've heard Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy is good. Haven't read it though.

 

Obligatory essay:

 

I heard about that book via Blackdragon back in like 2010. It played a large role in my life in my early 20s; would highly recommend it to anyone. Probably the #2 self-help book of all time that I've ever read, behind Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living... I love all of Brian Tracy's stuff, especially as a salesman, but Maximum Achievement pretty much sums up all of his core messages/advice.

 

I think in order to make the most out of any sort of self-help book you really have to be a "pro-active skeptic," as Tim Ferris called it. Meaning, you can't just blindly follow every guru's advice and expect it to work out... and at the same time you can't just dismiss all of their woo-woo advice because you have your own reasons to doubt it.

 

 

The biggest recurring theme I've noticed among self-help authors is that they tend to preach the merits of having an internal locus of control, or essentially the belief that who you are today and what you're doing right now is the product of your own decision-making, rather than fate/luck. In his famous The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey refers to this as "being proactive" instead of "being reactive." Tracy calls this "complete responsibility."

 

Tracy will go as far as to say things such as, "It's literally impossible to feel a negative emotion at the same time as accepting complete responsibility for something bad that happens to you," and this is true for people who have never maintained this thought process before... but for someone like me, who's been trying to follow this train of thought for almost a decade now, I can tell you for a fact that there will be times where claiming 100% responsibility will take its toll on you :lol:

 

To be more specific, when really upsetting things happen to me, and I think of how it was my responsibility, I'll consequently feel guilty or frustrated for not acting differently. But at the same time, it's still a self-empowering mentality to have. Because ultimately, if it's not my fault, then whose was it? And if I'm not the one who can change my decisions to change the outcome, then that's really discouraging IMO, because it's still a lot easier to change my own decisions/beliefs than it is to change someone else's.

 

 

Ultimately, though, there's no real truth or answer as to whether or not we truly have free will, and thus the ability to accept 100% responsibility for everything that happens to us, both good and bad. But IME the belief that you're at the world's mercy and everything you do is predetermined is a losing strategy in pretty much every aspect of life :P Even if it isn't always your fault, it's still best to ask yourself what you could do differently to prevent similar bad things from happening again in the future and to keep having good things happening to you.

 

 

Like, you could argue that any time I go somewhere in public, there's a chance of a mass shooting happening. But I know the odds of that happening are extremely low, so I take the "risk" and go about my business, assuming that I won't personally experience a mass shooting in my lifetime. Though if I were to ever be in the wrong place at the wrong time and experience a mass shooting, I wouldn't blame myself for being there, because I knew that the odds were so low and I was legitimately unfortunate.

 

However, if I were to somehow, for some reason, willingly and knowingly, move to an area with the highest gun violence, and then become a victim of it, I'd mostly blame myself for it. Because I knew the risk, accepted it, and was punished for it.

 

Hopefully the differences between those examples is clear enough. A big part of my life is constantly assessing the consequences of my own decisions, as well as constantly monitoring my own behaviors because there's tons of decisions I make on a daily basis, completely on auto-pilot. It's difficult to try and assess the "risk" of every decision you're making, because that becomes a fundamental aspect of accepting as much responsibility as possible for your life.

 

It's exhausting... but it's worth it IMO. But because it's exhausting, I can understand why I'm in the minority when it comes to this train of thought, so nowadays I try to no longer blame others for not adopting my philosophy.

 

 

Hope that makes sense. I guess what I'm basically saying is: experiment with their advice for yourself and see if it improves your life; they mean the best for you and you don't really have much to lose by trying it out... but also try to examine all of their claims with a healthy skepticism to examine the limits of their advice.

 

 

Also thanks for opening the can of worms, y_guy. I haven't written a long post on this forum in a long time and I forgot how fun and cathartic it is :D


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#53902
obfuscator
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Canada sucks sometimes: https://www.ctvnews....rules-1.3891579

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#53903
RpgGamer
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What a bizzare thing to be gung ho about. Don't you guys have recreational marijuana? Like why be a dick about in-nation commerce and trade?

 

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.




 

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#53904
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What a bizzare thing to be gung ho about. Don't you guys have recreational marijuana? Like why be a dick about in-nation commerce and trade?


We don't yet (not sure what the exact timeline is but it should be soon edit: should be effective this summer). But even legal MJ schemes will basically be province-wide government cartels. Canada loves its regressive economics and interprovincial trade barriers, which is all the more frustrating because the federal government tries hard to appear to be extremely pro-free trade internationally

Part of the problem is the way in which federalism is constructed in Canada, partially to appease quebec. But basically the supreme court doesn't want to make waves and takes the easy way out rather than interpreting the constitution as it is clearly designed.

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#53905
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I just fell from plat 3 to gold 2 in an hour on Rocket League. Fuming.

 

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.




 

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#53906
Veiva
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Raleigh was awesome!

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#53907
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Wow turned down on that image processing interview question because I didn't use a concurrent approach.

 

When their email said "assume your using 1 core and 512mb of ram". I'm so [bleep]ing heated right now lol.

 

 

Oh well got another interview tommorow 



#53908
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Wow turned down on that image processing interview question because I didn't use a concurrent approach.

When their email said "assume your using 1 core and 512mb of ram". I'm so [bleep]ing heated right now lol.


Oh well got another interview tommorow


Am I wrong in translating that as "we don't want creativity, we wanted you to do what everyone does"?

 

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.




 

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#53909
Ring_World
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No i truly think they wanted concurrency because it would scale better as the hardware changes.

 

I should've done that and a database that only accepts unique values to handle all that.

 

Oh well next time i'll be more thorough



#53910
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I wanted to say I can't agree with muggiwhiplar.

A lot of my life has been screwed up by things completely out of my control (moving to NC, homeschooling, mom being sick, being poor through childhood/adulthood, mental illness, etc).

It's only because of sheer determination I haven't given up and things have improved so much, but it's definitely not because I take responsibility for the unfairness I've faced. I refuse to accept that these things were "in my control" lol.

@Bonez

I suppose...

Edited by Veiva, 20 April 2018 - 11:32 PM.

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#53911
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@Veiva, a lot of those concepts also acknowledge that you have little control until the age of 18 and obviously some things such as mental illness are beyond your control unless you willingly refuse to take your medication or another action such as that.

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#53912
obfuscator
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I've always thought that the default response should be to take responsibility, because (as an adult), the majority of things are within your control. Obviously not *everything*, but most things. Also, @Veiva, it seems to me, without knowing you personally, that your life has gotten much better precisely because you've taken control, through sheer determination, as you said.

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#53913
Arceus
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Looks like a more technical interview for NASA on Monday...I figured it wasn't going to be that easy.


"Fight for what you believe in, and believe in what you're fighting for." Can games be art?
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#53914
Ring_World
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gz man having NASA on your resume will be huge.

 

I've been getting interviews with places offering 6 figures because of that alone tbh. Definitely run with the opportunity



#53915
Tesset
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I've always thought that the default response should be to take responsibility, because (as an adult), the majority of things are within your control. Obviously not *everything*, but most things. Also, @Veiva, it seems to me, without knowing you personally, that your life has gotten much better precisely because you've taken control, through sheer determination, as you said.

On the other hand, he's gotten help from government stuff in the past, which is it's own way of needing help to control your life. Certainly it's hard to say that he would be just as capable of controlling his life without that assistance.

And someone in the past had to ask for that.

My skin is finally getting soft
I'll scrub until the damn thing comes off


#53916
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There's nothing wrong with asking for help - I'd argue that's part of taking control of your life - knowing that you need help, asking for it, or finding people/programs that will help you.

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#53917
Arceus
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gz man having NASA on your resume will be huge.

 

I've been getting interviews with places offering 6 figures because of that alone tbh. Definitely run with the opportunity

Eh I've got to actually get it first, will be a hit or miss thing.


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#53918
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There's nothing wrong with asking for help - I'd argue that's part of taking control of your life - knowing that you need help, asking for it, or finding people/programs that will help you.


I wish more people understood this

 

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.




 

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#53919
Ring_World
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You aren't in control of your circumstance.

 

Who your parents were, what your social class was, your time and place of birth, your health conditions, etc.

 

That's your situation. That said you have room to navigate your situation and be the best you. Yeah you'll probably never have 1% of what bill gates kids have in terms of opportunities their situation gave them but you can strive to be the best you all things considerered.

 

If theres a multiverse starting from the day you turn 18 where choices diverge, there's probably a you out there who is way more successful or happy and a you out there who is way worse off. I would say strive to be that good universe you.



#53920
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You aren't in control of your circumstance.

Who your parents were, what your social class was, your time and place of birth, your health conditions, etc.

That's your situation. That said you have room to navigate your situation and be the best you. Yeah you'll probably never have 1% of what bill gates kids have in terms of opportunities their situation gave them but you can strive to be the best you all things considerered.

If theres a multiverse starting from the day you turn 18 where choices diverge, there's probably a you out there who is way more successful or happy and a you out there who is way worse off. I would say strive to be that good universe you.

And in this same multiverse, there's places you'll never go/people you'll never be, because those choices arent presented to you. And largely, those choices are predicated on your starting conditions. And when we lump it all as personal responsibility, it ignores the very real imbalances in opportunities in our society. In my view, anyway, when you talk about personal responsibility as if it's the be all end all to success and happiness, it becomes easier to not work to better other people, and to not try and make a more fair and just society.

My skin is finally getting soft
I'll scrub until the damn thing comes off






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