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I think the key is confidence, both male and female. If you feel like you are unattractive, you will create an aura that you are, turning them off. If you can find some way to work through the feelings that you're having, you will have better results.

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I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol

[bleep] off I wasn't.

 

I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk"

 

@muggi

 

It's evident I'm unattractive or have other qualities that make me worthless so dating is pointless.

 

 

I already recommended taking a break from dating for 6-12 months until your gym results start manifesting for this very reason. I don't think you're capable of dating women right now (for various reasons); you're just going to be disappointing and frustrating yourself, which will affect your self-confidence. At least if you take a break from the failures, you'll have time to rekindle some hope for when you try again in better shape

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I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol

[bleep] off I wasn't.

 

I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk"

 

Sorry. That was insensitive of me. I hope things turn around for you soon, or at least, that you can put the dating problems out of your mind a little.

My skin is finally getting soft
I'll scrub until the damn thing comes off

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...

The pub was just the straw that broke the camels back. I'm doing /too much/. I'm under so much stress I'm having a hard time breathing. I'm working two jobs AND going to school full time AND doing freelance work AND working on a game (with the hope it sells well). The game is detrimental because I know it's going to be a flop and everyone's going to hate it when I post the demo. That's nearly a years worth of work going to be wasted. Between work and school I have little freetime, and the freetime I have is spent doing freelance work or game development.

 

I hate my hobbies anymore. I haven't read or played a video game or writtten or drawn for myself and enjoyed it in months.

 

I'm doing too much and I'm going to relapse and lose all the progress I've made.
 

 

 

I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol


[bleep] off I wasn't.

I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk"

@muggi

It's evident I'm unattractive or have other qualities that make me worthless so dating is pointless.

 


I already recommended taking a break from dating for 6-12 months until your gym results start manifesting for this very reason. I don't think you're capable of dating women right now (for various reasons); you're just going to be disappointing and frustrating yourself, which will affect your self-confidence. At least if you take a break from the failures, you'll have time to rekindle some hope for when you try again in better shape

 


I'm always going to have loose skin ergo I'm always going to be unattractive no matter what I do.
 

 

 

I'ma be honest Veiva, you sound drunk lol


[bleep] off I wasn't.

I had to go to CMH Crisis Center today because I was so depressed but "lol i must be drunk"

 

Sorry. That was insensitive of me. I hope things turn around for you soon, or at least, that you can put the dating problems out of your mind a little.

 


I think I should've committed myself because I feel no better now than I did when I walked in. I went to sleep for 4 hours and swear it's been 12 because I've had over what felt like a dozen vivid horrible dreams already.

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I think part of the break isn't just for the gym and your body part. I think part of it is just for the mindset change and boost in confidence. Looking good is feeling good and that will never hurt your odds in finding a relationship.

 

In addition while you aren't looking for shallow people, being in good shape is a good opener, passing the first checkpoint/gate so to speak, and allowing you more opportunity to find a deep connection by causing a general increase in first dates.

 

Edit: Veiva you changed your post, but general statement still stands.

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I "dated" an older girl for a while. I'm not really sure what we were to be honest. Maybe we were just [bleep]buddies that went out together every now and then. I don't think we had any real issues because of our age gap. Mostly all of our issues came from our personalities clashing. She was extremely flaky. Would sometimes be impossible to make plans with her and even when you manage to make plans with her she sometimes just didn't even follow through. Sex was great, which is probably why i stuck around for as long as i did. Even when i was with her though, i never really gave much thought to age. I don't know if my surroundings and the past 10 years of my life has made me less concerned about age. I had/have a lot of friends who are anywhere from 6 years younger to 10 years older than i am.  If someone isn't outright acting like a child, it's hard for me to really give any notice to their age.

 

Girl game around again the other night. We had a conversation the day before about her wanting to take things slow because she didn't want to rush things, or do anything she might regret. She also told me about how she feels like she has a target on her back now that she's single again, and she's been getting hit on a lot more by guys that know she's single now. She told me she just wanted to hang out with someone and not fear that they're going to try make a move on her the whole time. So she came over, and i decided that i just would not initiate anything that night. I like hanging out with her. I don't want her to get the impression that i'm only after one thing. 

So we were watching a movie, and she kept moving a bit closer and closer till she was basically sitting with her head on my shoulder. When the credits started rolling she looked at me, kissed me, told me that she liked me, and just kept looking at me with a smile on her face. Not gonna lie, i melted a bit. So i feel like things are headed in the right direction. I think things are moving at a good pace. I think i tend to rush sex a bit too much sometimes, which is fine for some people, but not for me. I kind of have a hard time keeping emotions separate from sex. I'll sleep with a girl and develop feeling that really wasn't ever there. So i think for once i actually want to see how i feel about someone before i start rushing things in that direction. 

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It's good that you recognize that

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Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Take things slowly on that one, Noxx. I'm sure she likes you, however, she's said she doesn't want to rush into intimacy; therefore, doing so would be the fastest way of stopping it dead. Also, if she's newly single, she might not be ready to jump into something that deep at first.

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Why is #relationshipthread invading the Today?

 

3 days of hardcore drinking, performances and fun. Total of 3,5h of sleep, sth like 40 beers, 2 bottles of vodka, 20 long drinks and some cocktails in between. It was rough, so tired, and still hungover.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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So I scheduled a new appointment with my med management doctor (14 December ugh) and my therapist (Thursday).

 

I'm feeling better (not the terrible crippling depression & sadness, just extreme sadness). But despite it, I got up at 5:00 am, dropped off my doctor's note at my Staples job, scheduled the two appointments, went to school, and went to work...

 

You can be depressed and do nothing, or depressed and do something. I choose to do something. Might as well be productive if I'm going to be down regardless.

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Haven't really dated an older girl yet and hot bloody damn, a girl I matched on Tinder with googled my real name and found this forum... All my secrets laid bare to the world. Safe to say, she was not amused with quite a bit of it.

 

I think I mentioned how I am super easy to find due to my unique name...

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Youre already showing vast signs of improvement Veiva

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Sounds like Noxx is headed straight for the friend zone, but I could be wrong :P

Eh, been in his situation if she loses interest odds are someone else will come along anyways.
Same. When a girl says something like how she wants to take things slow, that’s usually woman-language for either “I’m not interested in having sex with you, but I still want your attention” or “I know you want to have sex with me, and I might have sex with you too, but I want to see if I can get you to comply with my preferences and wait for sex so I can be in control of the relationship and lose attraction for you sooner for allowing me to do this”

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Haven't really dated an older girl yet and hot bloody damn, a girl I matched on Tinder with googled my real name and found this forum... All my secrets laid bare to the world. Safe to say, she was not amused with quite a bit of it.

 

I think I mentioned how I am super easy to find due to my unique name...

Yo that sucks

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Sounds like Noxx is headed straight for the friend zone, but I could be wrong :P

Eh, been in his situation if she loses interest odds are someone else will come along anyways.

 

Same. When a girl says something like how she wants to take things slow, that’s usually woman-language for either “I’m not interested in having sex with you, but I still want your attention” or “I know you want to have sex with me, and I might have sex with you too, but I want to see if I can get you to comply with my preferences and wait for sex so I can be in control of the relationship and lose attraction for you sooner for allowing me to do this”

 

Can you just like take a step back and see how creepy statements like that look from a woman's perspective?

 

I don't even mean mine. I've dated as neither a man nor a woman, I'm about as neutral a third party there can be. It just reads as incredibly manipulative.

My skin is finally getting soft
I'll scrub until the damn thing comes off

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As someone who has dated, it reads fairly accurately

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Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Add on to that I went to the gym as usual.
 
Also, so, like, I'm going to see Los Campesinos! this Saturday in Washington, DC. LOL
 
I'll be staying Fri-Sun and doing some touring too. Gotta go to a few Smithsonians and see some monuments.
 
...
 
My yearly "do-something-new-each-month" now looks like:
 
- January: Started school and new job (Staples)
- February: Had first drink / went to first bar, got learner's permit
- March: Had driving lessons, started ItsyRealm
- April: Got license, got car, went to Raleigh / ECGC, started dating, had sex (that was a big month)
- May: ...I don't remember. I think I started looking for internships but I'd have to dig through my journal.
- June: Got internship at Immersion Media.
- July: Went to Charlotte / Carowinds.
- August: Got drunk.
- September: Started job at Immersion Media.
- October: Saw a concert (Florence + The Machine), attended first party (and first time I dressed up for Halloween since a kid)
- November (pending): ...hopefully go to DC assuming no NUCLEAR DISASTER or some bullshit
- December (pending): Go to Florida to see grandparents
 
I'm the wild B-MACHINE that never stops.

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Sounds like Noxx is headed straight for the friend zone, but I could be wrong :P

Eh, been in his situation if she loses interest odds are someone else will come along anyways.
Same. When a girl says something like how she wants to take things slow, that’s usually woman-language for either “I’m not interested in having sex with you, but I still want your attention” or “I know you want to have sex with me, and I might have sex with you too, but I want to see if I can get you to comply with my preferences and wait for sex so I can be in control of the relationship and lose attraction for you sooner for allowing me to do this”
Can you just like take a step back and see how creepy statements like that look from a woman's perspective?

 

I don't even mean mine. I've dated as neither a man nor a woman, I'm about as neutral a third party there can be. It just reads as incredibly manipulative.

Date a lot of women and you’ll understand the context of what I’m saying

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As someone who has dated, it reads fairly accurately

I mean, I wouldn't want to date someone who took "I wanna take slow" as "She never wants to have sex with me and is just leading me on" either. Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy there.

My skin is finally getting soft
I'll scrub until the damn thing comes off

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As someone who has dated, it reads fairly accurately

I mean, I wouldn't want to date someone who took "I wanna take slow" as "She never wants to have sex with me and is just leading me on" either. Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy there.

 

 

I have dated and, because of the nature of the job I do, have quite a few female friends. I think most of them would agree with Tesset's perspective.

 

If a guy (or girl) they're dating can't take the statement "taking things slow" at face value, much less accept that, then it doesn't bode well for much else in that relationship.

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