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Red Chinchompas


elit9

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Good afternoon, Tip.it. Today my highly important and relevant rant is in regards several highly detrimental, important, and relevant flaws concerning the hunting of carnivorous chinchompas. These critters are also known as red chinchompas and, within some circles, "red chins".

 

 

 

First, I would like to comment on the option that allows you to "Attack" carnivorous chinchompas. Naturally, this engenders the issue of semantic blockage manifest in the fact that it is very easy to click on the carnivorous chinchompa, and thus attacking it as the default option, instead of clicking to set or pick up box traps. Anyone who has hunted carnivorous chinchompas is surely aware of this phenomenon. A hunter loses hundreds of GP, a chunk of hunting experience, and ultimately a bit of time as well every time this happens.

 

 

 

After several hours on end of carnivorous chinchompa hunting, I believe it is only to be expected that players will start making their share of misclicks. I do not see why we should be penalized for Jagexs blatant shortsightedness, ignorance, hubris, and hamartia when it comes to designing hunting NPCs. Honestly, what point is there to actually attacking a carnivorous chinchompa? Oh boy, 4 exp! It almost makes me forget they nerfed Pest Control, the purest combat training form of all, so long ago! Thanks, Andrew Grower!1!!

 

 

 

With that said, I am not ranting about the ability to attack carnivorous chinchompas.

 

 

 

The ability to watch a carnivorous chinchompa die a horrible, fiery orange, pixelated death by virtue of your own fist, foot, or weapon is actually one of the most relaxing activities one can currently partake in on RuneScape. If cleanliness is next to godliness, random acts of violence against un-captured carnivorous chinchompas is not far behind. This phenomenon may only be a product of the frustration produced by being able to attack carnivorous chinchompas in the first place, but nevertheless it is quite nice.

 

 

 

With that said, attacking carnivorous chinchompas is not the most entertaining thing one can do with them while hunting. Rather, this Mecca of RuneScape zen lies in the territory of throwing freshly captured carnivorous chinchompas at their wild counterparts. I need you to stop reading this and think about this for a second: one-hitting a random carnivorous chinchompa and watching the subsequent ball of fire envelope a small part of the screen is undoubtedly the best feeling in the world, bar none. Now, imagine doing that WITH a carnivorous chinchompa as your weapon. Yes. Youve got twice the explosions, plus the drama and intrinsic wonder of that carnivorous chinchompa flying through the air and cutting through the wind, often defying gravity, on the way to its noble and pyrotechnic demise.

 

 

 

This glorious conflagration, of course, has only gotten exponentially better after the release of RunEscape HD. I once saw a video on Youtube depicting the catastrophic results of two Falcon Punches colliding; after just once instance of one-hitting a carnivorous chinchompa with a carnivorous chinchompa, I knew that video was a waste of my time.

 

 

 

In conclusion, I am extremely angsty over the fact that I am required to entertain myself in RuneScape by killing carnivorous chinchompas, and not other players. As enjoyable as carnivorous chinchompa killing is, it will never compare to player killing. Now, I know that youre probably thinking that this is just another one of those generic wilderness rants. Well, if thats what you think, you clearly do not realize the gravity of this situation; this one is extremely different from all the others! Casually dismissing this rant is tantamount to submerging yourself in a bottomless pit of semantic blockage.

 

 

 

I dont care about Jagexs totalitarian, fascist business losing money due to credit card fraud, the legal stigma of being a gold mine for extremely shady international exploitation operations, or any other forms of malarkey. They are still royal fools and deserve to be taken outside and smacked around a bit by the psychosemantic division of the secret police of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. You know the rules, and so do I when it comes to ranting, Im fully entitled to my opinion because, as heroic RuneScape protesters have so sagely said before, "WE PAY WE SAY". So, discuss why did Jagex remove the wilderness. WE PAY WE SAY AMIRITE?

 

 

 

_________________

 

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Proud Comrade ~~ Proud former leader of CF

 

^Directly above this isn't my sig, it's just some random stuff. In case you didnt realize, this is actually a satirical rant about people continuing to blindly complain (in-game, per the rant forum rules) about updates from 8 months ago. So yes, this has a point, and no, it isnt a rant about the actual wilderness so it does not belong in that sticky. If you posted without reading this, chances are you got lured.
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You're fine having hundreds of chinchompas in your backpack (Can't be too comfy) next to food they can't eat and sharp weapons and items, then throwing them at creatures to make them explode, or selling them to another person who will do such a thing, yet you're disgusted by the morality of being able to kill them uncaptured.

 

 

 

That's called a double standard, or in this case, just a bait and switch spam thread.

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You almost had it, until these:

 

Oh boy, 4 exp! It almost makes me forget they nerfed Pest Control, the purest combat training form of all, so long ago! Thanks, Andrew Grower!1!!

 

AMIRITE?

 

 

 

Seriously though, fine language doesn't make the topic any better. You are going to do far worse to your chincompas while they are in your possession, why rant about the ability to kill them beforehand?

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I inclusively concur! Folks routinely stray to the pessimistic side when Jagex bestows a new update upon them. Indeed, the game is not impeccable, nevertheless it is their affair to seek out the most gratifying activity from their perspective as an alternative to fuming about subsidiaries - otherwise those inopportune souls will be wedged into their own self-assembled crevice of despair! :ohnoes:

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Is this a generated essay or did some [developmentally delayed] actually sit down and right this [cabbage]?

 

I don't know why you believe I am [developmentally delayed] good sir, I immensely enjoyed the time I spent writing this [cabbage] and, unlike your excessive use of brackets, I feel it highlighted a multitude of important points.

 

 

 

Excellent topic, 10/10.

 

*watches people get caught*

 

 

 

I feel like capturing red chins now.

 

I inclusively concur! Folks routinely stray to the pessimistic side when Jagex bestows a new update upon them. Indeed, the game is not impeccable, nevertheless it is their affair to seek out the most gratifying activity from their perspective as an alternative to fuming about subsidiaries - otherwise those inopportune souls will be wedged into their own self-assembled crevice of despair! :ohnoes:

 

 

 

Maybe there is hope! 8-)

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This was a most amusing read, though a little droll, and it has a sound satirical premise. Indeed, if all rants were this well written and indited with a fine and varied vocabulary such as this, than the rants forum would become the new forum of entertainment and fun! Indubitably so, eh wot?

If the CORPORAL beast is this hard, imagine how hard a GENERAL or COLONEL beast would be. a corporal is not even an admirable rank in armies that use that ranking system.

 

Yeah, it is a pking minigame, so any arguments anybody makes will probably be biased.

The best way this will end :Everybody just says,"I'm not arguing with you anymore, goodbye."

The worst way this will end: I don't really know, psychological warfare? Worldwide thermonuclear war? Pie eating contest?

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It was an excellently written topic. Though I did not understand some of it, I did understand the point and laughed when I figured out that your signature was part of the topic. Clever.

 

 

 

10/10

 

 

 

Very nice... =D> I am happy when their is not a rant involving something like the wild or mean players or something along the lines of Jagex screwing up the game...*mumbles on for an hour*

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There is no surer sign of intelligence than a succinct, yet sufficient statement.

 

 

 

Seriously, I got bored in the first paragraph...

 

 

 

Well anyways, on to topic. You do know the most efficient method of catching chinchompas are by ranging the stray chinchompas and making them respawn next to your trap.

 

 

 

Seriously, people are just commenting on your large vocabulary... remember, you want to get your point across.

[Summoning guide (AOW)] [Slayer guide] [Melee & Brawl player]

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Is this a generated essay or did some [developmentally delayed] actually sit down and right this [cabbage]?

 

 

 

As the pot calls the kettle black...

Lol? I dont think i've ever written more than maybe 6 lines of text in a post, so i've no idea what your talking about. :lol:
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Lol, very nice post. Very smart and well written ::'

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i'm just wondering, but if you wield a bow without any arrows, can u still attack them? it works with thieving, so it could work here and solve your problems ::'

 

 

 

(and the brackets are actually the forum censor)

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There are three sides to every story: There's one side, there's the other, and there's the truth.

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i'm just wondering, but if you wield a bow without any arrows, can u still attack them? it works with thieving, so it could work here and solve your problems ::'

 

 

 

(and the brackets are actually the forum censor)

 

 

 

No it will not attack them, and that's what I did. I just took a MSB without arrows and if I accidentally clicked on one, then character would face them but I still stood in the same spot and didn't even start chasing after them.

 

 

 

PS: I honestly didn't know it would work for Thieving. :uhh:

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