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Funniest teachers and subs


Harakiri

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Well, my French Teacher in 1st and 2nd year would go on about stuff like WWII and the time he killed a crocodile if someone asked him.

 

 

 

Heh, 30mins with no work ::'.

 

 

 

Oh and I've heard one of the Chemistry teachers set off the fire alarm with a makeshift flamethrower. Didn't witness it, but still, is probably true.

 

 

 

You're saying a rumor is probably true. Get some evidence man, not just he said she said.

 

 

 

Thing is, it sounds pretty damn believeable.

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I had a teacher that said If we didn't do our homework she would hang us outside the window by our toonails(4th grade).

 

Was funny tho, she rocked.

 

 

 

Ofc there was a bad teacher in 9th grade.

 

I won't go into details but my mom almost punched him if it wasn't for the fact that he was lay off the day before the meeting.

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Yea there was this cool dreamy female teacher one day. She came and I asked her out, turned out to be the best decision ever.

 

 

 

And what do you mean by that?

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Yea there was this cool dreamy female teacher one day. She came and I asked her out, turned out to be the best decision ever.

 

 

 

And what do you mean by that?

 

 

 

Yeah I'm wondering what that meant as well.

 

 

 

I also hate it when a few people act up in class while a substitute is there and then the teacher punishes all of us. :wall:

 

 

 

My 7th grade English teacher was awesome. He could juggle and had had a BB gun bullet in his thumb. He brought X-rays and you could feel it. We would take days off of class to practice juggling.

 

 

 

My 7th grade History teacher was awesome as well. He played the ukulele!

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well this is more about the student than the teacher

 

 

 

first day of year 10 maths and our new teacher was explaining the rules and his teaching methods etc. Then he said this

 

 

 

Teacher: I went to the doctors and found out that i have selective hearing, when we were sitting there i couldn't hear the doctor, then when he reached up to grab something off the shelf and i could hear him, he sat back down and i couldn't hear him then he put his hand up and i could hear him.

 

 

 

then he explained that he can only hear students when they have their hands up, a bunch of people laughed at how lame it was then a girl asked

 

 

 

Girl: Is that true, is it like a real medical condition...or are you just joking

 

 

 

he just stared at her for like a minute while everyone pissed themselves

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UPDATE: The sub who cussed and called people chubby apparently got a lot of heat...the kids told everyone, a lot of parents have complained, and the math teacher has reported him and says he'll probably lose his job...

 

 

 

Good riddance...

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UPDATE: The sub who cussed and called people chubby apparently got a lot of heat...the kids told everyone, a lot of parents have complained, and the math teacher has reported him and says he'll probably lose his job...

 

 

 

Good riddance...

 

 

 

Why act up over such petty [cabbage]? If a teacher calls you tubby, give him some abuse back. I like how friendly we are with teachers my school, if one slags me I'll slag him back and we'll laugh it off. Not complaining to the principal like a [bleep]ing girl :roll:

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Yea there was this cool dreamy female teacher one day. She came and I asked her out, turned out to be the best decision ever.

 

We have one teacher that's really young, and good looking. She's only 21 or 22, I think. I thought she was 15, she's little. I was talking to her and was intending to ask her out, until I was told she was a teacher.

 

 

 

I thought it was funny when my friends told me.

 

Junior year we had a student teacher for History for a couple of months and she was pretty young and really pretty, but her chest was absolutely massive. Her boobs were seriously the size of cantalopes. I don't think any guys slept through the class when she was teaching it. :lol:

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Wow, I need to go to a less boring school. All my subs are really good, and you can't act up with a sub at my school or you run the risk of being kicked out and wasting your parents money (if you threw a textbook at a sub you'd have a 90% chance of being expelled...). I basically have 5 subs in total; an old retired math teacher (he's awesome), a guy who's possibly gay (he's pretty funny), 2, er... attractive women (yeah, it sucks to be a hot girl teaching at an all boys school XD) and this 7 foot tall guy who's teaching me English for the rest of the year (my regular teacher is on maternity leave).

 

 

 

That last guy is awesome. He puts an insane amount of effort into making our class interesting/exciting, which he succeeds in most of the time. Like to review for my December exams he created a fully-working game of jeopardy using powerpoint.

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Heh, here it's the Visual Basic teacher, apparently, last year she threw an eraser to a guy that was sleeping in class, it almost hit him. Yesterday, I saw her throw a pencil to someone that was almost asleep while I was in the class. Funny thing is it ended up as being part of the explanation she was giving lol.

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Heh, here it's the Visual Basic teacher, apparently, last year she threw an eraser to a guy that was sleeping in class, it almost hit him. Yesterday, I saw her throw a pencil to someone that was almost asleep while I was in the class. Funny thing is it ended up as being part of the explanation she was giving lol.

 

 

 

That's nothing. I used to kick the desks so they fall out of the chair which was amusing, but now I have infinitely more fun with the overhead projector squirt bottle. I rigged it up to shoot across the classroom.

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My heart is broken by the terrible loss I have sustained in my old friends and companions and my poor soldiers. Believe me, nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle won. -Sir Arthur Wellesley

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This isn't a sub teacher but my chemistry teacher this year (year 12 chem) was such a mad dude. Our class was small (9 people) so we all has so much fun I always dissed people in class and he'd laugh.

 

 

 

Hes also Figi-Indian so in class if he'd ask me a question I'd reply back in a very indian accent and he wouldn't do anything, everyone else would lol. I even called him a terrorist to his face many times and he wouldn't do anything. I'd make terrorist related jokes to him aswell like one time me and my mate were mucking around and he told us to get on with it and I replied with 'Aww sir why you bein a terrorist and blowing up our fun' and random [cabbage] like that. Chemistry was fun!

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Ewwww Visual Basic.

 

 

 

I just remembered we had this sub that only spoke Finnish and broken English, although everything we did was supposed to be in English. Was pretty annoying. And then she refused to believe in negative numbers. Seriously, she insisted that they are impossible.

 

 

 

But I was in 3rd grade at the time so I suppose nobody cared all that much. We just wrote her off as an idiot.

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Man, the stupid subs I've had... \'

 

 

 

In 5th grade, there was this woman who cussed like every other sentence and threatened us. She was threatening not to tell our parents that she cussed and everything. Lol. Most people told the teacher the next day.

 

 

 

Probably that was the stupidest sub I've ever had in elementary school right now.

 

 

 

 

 

Now, last year. 6th grade.

 

 

 

I met the sub Ms. Alba. I swear, she's some crazy woman that has a spanish accent nobody understands.

 

 

 

One day, while she was subbing, my friend Jason accidentally dropped his pencil. Ms. Alba wouldn't let him get it, so she went to get it for her. When she bent over... she was wearing a white g-string. :? Odd, but hilarious. Now, every time we have her as a sub, we show the new kids by doing the "Can you pick up my pencil?" thing. Like everyone knows she wears them now. Also, she has a part time job at a restaurant. :ohnoes:

 

 

 

Here's the subs my friends have nicknamed over the middle school years(currently in 7th lol.)

 

 

 

Cap'n Crunch

 

 

 

Some really old guy... he was like a Vietnam veteran or something? I swear, he was crazy. He was like all silent letting us do whatever the hell we wanted. Some guy even started blasting out black metal and stuff out of the computers. And explict rap. He just sat there and smiled the whole time. Then, when class was over and to head to lunch... he was like asleep and suddenly said, "LUNCH!" I swear it was odd. But fun.

 

 

 

Mr. D

 

 

 

I've had him as a sub like 8 times this year. He always tells us the same thing. "My rules are very simple." and he repeats them every time. His voice is extremely quiet, and will give you detention for even whispering. :(

 

 

 

Mrs. Timezone

 

 

 

A real uptight lady. She gives suspensions for stupid reasons. She got the nickname Mrs. Timezone because she said everyone had to be silent for 5 minutes. So, after 5 minutes, someone asks, "Can we talk now? It's been 5 minutes." Mrs. Timezone says, "Not in my time." Thus, Mrs. Timezone. It led to a flurry of stupid time jokes. Like when she asked, "Does anyone know where I put my pencil?" "I dunno, what time did you lose it?"

 

 

 

Mr. America

 

 

 

This old guy, once again. He was... stupid. My friend turned in a sheet of paper with all the answers on it, some on the back. "Young lady, here in America we don't use the back sides of paper. This is America! Nobody cares about them trees, waste paper!"

 

 

 

Earlier he accepted my paper with half of the back side of the paper filled out. Sexist much?

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This is teachers AND subs i will pick a teacher.

 

 

 

I got a week suspension for calling someone stupid only because the teacher was picked on as a child. The one week suspension was for calling the teacher [developmentally delayed]ed btw.

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This is teachers AND subs i will pick a teacher.

 

 

 

I got a week suspension for calling someone stupid only because the teacher was picked on as a child. The one week suspension was for calling the teacher [developmentally delayed] btw.

 

Deserved. You need to show respect.

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I only show respect if I feel it to be earned. I try not to blatantly insult, but I won't be a very warm bucko.

 

That's what I love about my teachers this year. In the past, the respect was one-way, and teachers were only there for teaching.

 

I can maintain a good conversation with any of my current teachers, as if I was talking with a classmate. In fact, many of my classes go that way. They somewhat respect me, I respect them.

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My school has a couple. Since the same ones are reused often, and none really have any detracting features, the students know them and they know most of the students. SO there's never really much disrespect.

 

 

 

There's one guy, I think he's about 90. Some war Vet, either WWII or Vietnam, I'm pretty sure WWII. He was a pilot, and often tells stories about the war days.

 

 

 

then there's this middle-aged polish guy. He loves vocabulary and tries to learn at least 1 new word a day. His favorite is "loquacious", or excessiveness in speech.

 

 

 

Last guy with any distinguishing features, he's pretty much the new german teacher until March since the regular is out on maternity leave. I'm guessing the baby hasn't been born yet, since the world is still intact and hasn't been raped by demons and set in flames, but he's already here. He's alright, and likes to threaten troublemakers with violence (beating with a 2x4, etc.). He also goes a lot more in-depth into grammar and vocabulary than the regular teacher ever did. And here's the kicker- pretty much everything has improved since he arrived. Even the biggest slackers have been doing their homework, paying attention, stuff like that. I don't know if that says more about the teacher or sub....

 

 

 

Oh, and Penguingeek, nice TSO sig :thumbup:

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My school has a couple.

 

 

I thought you meant that there were two teachers who were married. That happened at my middle school, and the male teacher had a close female-teacher-friend. (Not his wife) So my friend assumes they're dating, and yeah...

 

And thanks. ;)

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Cenin pân nîd, istan pân nîd, dan nin ú-cenich, nin ú-istach.

Ithil luin eria vi menel caran...Tîn dan delu.

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A kid in my class has made several different subs cry. :lol:

 

They were [wagon] and he is hilarious.

 

I also had the coolest sub who would like diss the kids if they tried to diss him, he was REALLY REALLY tall and REALLY REALLY white. Pretty awesome.

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the greatest sub teacher ever mr butterfield. a senile old man that hates us ::'

 

hers a example with my friend that mr butterfield hates:

 

 

 

mr butterfield: detention.

 

 

 

student: what???? what did i do?

 

 

 

mr butterfield: your smiling.

 

 

 

student: so what?

 

 

 

mr butterfield: * pauses as if unsure what to do*... school isnt suppose to be fun... detention!

 

 

 

fortunately he gave him the dention sheet to give to our form teacher. he just ripped it up and put in the bin after class.

 

another occasion is when mr butterfield told us the same speech on hitler 3 time.

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OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Lol so we have this really weird teacher, he's about 50, really short, and balding. He teaches tech, and barely knows anything about it. He only has half of his pointer finger. He was doing a safety demonstration, and was like don't get too close to the band saw *SLICE* and he lost half his finger. :twss:

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