Omegle.

[Dax]

Had a nice chat about QOTSA with some guy. Next door was having a party, lol. I might go back on later. :thumbup:

[Furah]

I decided to go on Omegle and start all my convos with "[AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Omegle is required by law to inform you that the person you are chatting with is a formerly convicted sex offender. Please do not give out your personal information to this individual. Have fun chatting!]" most people left after I said I was 26/f/USA and one guy I met was doing it too XD.

 

 

 

Found this I put on the Today thread a while back, quite a few people started because of me if I remember correctly.

[Millard]

Isn't the majority of Omegle just /b/tards trolling each other?

[i_love_burritos]

Isn't the majority of Omegle just /b/tards trolling each other?

 

 

 

I believe that place already exists. And it is called 4chan.

 

 

 

For the person who was asking - asl is

 

 

 

Age/Sex/Location.

[Sam]

It's cool, I'm speaking to a french person right now.

[warri0r45]

I just checked it out, and had a good conversation with a guy from Australia... we mostly talked about music and uni.

 

 

 

I think it's a great concept.

[Lionheart_0]

I have actually had a few great conversations, but the anonymous nature for the site makes it unsettling to make it anything more then a 10 minute talking relationship. It just feels so.... open.

 

 

 

So must of the time "A wild Abra appears."

 

 

 

 

 

Connecting to server...

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

 

You: A wild Abra appears.

 

Stranger: Stranger throw pokeball

 

You: Shake....

 

You: Shake...

 

You: Abra broke free!

 

You: Abra uses teleport.

 

 

 

Silly people must use masterballs or freeze me.

[tintin113]

Hehe Omegle's fun, I've had a couple of genuinely interesting conversations and a couple of interestingly weird ones :D

[Hawks]

[hide=THE VOGONS ARE COMING]Stranger: hi

 

You: the world is coming to an end!

 

Stranger: so

 

Stranger: ?

 

You: you should cower in fear of the vogons!

 

You: they come to blow up earth

 

You: to build a hyperspace bypass!

 

You: we will all perish!

 

Stranger: OK

 

Stranger: God bless you

 

You: you are not scare?[/hide][hide=MUSE!]You: do you like music?

 

Stranger: yeah

 

You: what sort>

 

Stranger: alternative rock

 

You: me too. you ever heard of Muse?

 

Stranger: no

 

You: they're pretty awesome

 

Stranger: oh ill look them up[/hide]

 

haven't managed a good conversation yet.

[Kenshinjapan]

I was lucky and got a good conversation on my second try. It was a nice girl (she actually was :shock: ) who just wanted to talk and was really nice. Since then, I haven't found another :(

[Riku3220]

I have actually had a few great conversations, but the anonymous nature for the site makes it unsettling to make it anything more then a 10 minute talking relationship. It just feels so.... open.

 

 

 

So must of the time "A wild Abra appears."

 

 

 

 

 

Connecting to server...

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

 

You: A wild Abra appears.

 

Stranger: Stranger throw pokeball

 

You: Shake....

 

You: Shake...

 

You: Abra broke free!

 

You: Abra uses teleport.

 

 

 

Silly people must use masterballs or freeze me.

 

I send out Dugtrio because of it's Arena Trap and then use Fissure to KO the Abras. :lol:

[champion]

Stranger: hi

 

You: No.

 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

Pretty good convo imo.

[Craiglowery]

Stranger: Hi

 

You: Whats Up?

 

Stranger: U Mexican?

 

You: Half

 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[H2PM]

[hide=THE VOGONS ARE COMING]Stranger: hi

 

You: the world is coming to an end!

 

Stranger: so

 

Stranger: ?

 

You: you should cower in fear of the vogons!

 

You: they come to blow up earth

 

You: to build a hyperspace bypass!

 

You: we will all perish!

 

Stranger: OK

 

Stranger: God bless you

 

You: you are not scare?[/hide][hide=MUSE!]You: do you like music?

 

Stranger: yeah

 

You: what sort>

 

Stranger: alternative rock

 

You: me too. you ever heard of Muse?

 

Stranger: no

 

You: they're pretty awesome

 

Stranger: oh ill look them up[/hide]

 

haven't managed a good conversation yet.

 

 

 

 

 

HAAAH! Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy reference.

[Nero]

Lots of reading.

 

 

 

[hide=]Stranger:You are alone in a dark hallway. There are doors on your left and your right. What do you do?

 

You: Left door.

 

Stranger: You arrive at the left door.

 

You: Open left door.

 

Stranger: You open the left door and entrler the kitchen. It has not been used for some time, yet the smell of blood fills the air. Possibly from a roast.

 

You: Oven.

 

Stranger: You open the oven. There is nothing inside but a small pool of blood on the bottom tray.

 

You: Sink.

 

Stranger: You look in the sink. Caught in the drain are some strands of long, brown hair, and some small chunks of meat.

 

You: Uh... Under the sink.

 

Stranger: You look in the drawers under the sink. Inside are some cleaners. Bleach, window cleaner, and tile cleaner. All recently used.

 

You: Refridgerator.

 

Stranger: You walk over to the refridgerator and open it. The smell of rotting food overwhelms your senses. Years old food has been left rotting in here.

 

You: Is there a pantry? Pantry.

 

Stranger: You open the door to the pantry. There is more blood on the floor. Cleaner has been recently used on the concrete floor. On the shelf to your left there are numerous pots and pans, and more rotting food. There are some knives on the shelf to your right.

 

You: Inspect knives.

 

Stranger: The largest of the knives has recently been cleaned. There is still powdered cleaner clinging to the serrated edge.

 

You: Exit kitchen to hallway.

 

You: Enter right door.

 

Stranger: You go through the right door. You are outside.

 

You: What's outside?

 

Stranger: You look around outside. The large wooden porch you are standing on is rotting, planks half-destroyed and falled through to the inside. The grass has not been mown in years. A push mower sits discarded in the tall grass. A dirty "For Sale By Owner" sign with half the letters worn away rests on its back by the street.

 

You: Is there a tool shed?

 

Stranger: Yes.

 

You: Enter tool shed.

 

Stranger: You walk over to the tool shed and enter it. Dust fills your nostrils. There are tools of every sort. On the table there are multiple saw of every kind. On the far wall are hammers, screwdrivers, and other assorted small tools. On the shelf to your right are toolboxes.

 

You: Examine saws.

 

Stranger: You pick up a handsaw and examine it. Long strands of brown hair are stuck to the saw. You notice a spatter of blood on the table, and the words "Please don't hur" scratched into the wooden table. The sentence is incomplete.

 

You: Examine toolboxes

 

Stranger: You open one of the toolboxes. Inside are more small, assorted tools, covered in dust. You find a small axe with a 7 inch long handle in the box.

 

You: Examine axe.

 

Stranger: The axe is covered in dust. The blade has not become dull from disuse yet.

 

You: Well, there was a grisly murder... If I was a sick [bleep], where would I keep the body? A bathtub.

 

You: Is there a bathroom on the property?

 

Stranger: There are two.

 

You: Exit shed. Find Bathroom 1.

 

Stranger: You walk across the grounds back into the house. You seem to know your way around the house as you make your way directly to the bathroom without hesitation.

 

You: Haha. Examine sink.

 

Stranger: You look at the sink. It is small, a cheap purchase to fill a required need. Water still sticks to the sides of the sink, evidence it has recently been used.

 

You: Open cabinet under sink.

 

Stranger: You open the cabinet underneath the sink. There are some old, unused medications. Most of the bottles are empty. There are personal hygiene products, as well as some cleaners.

 

You: Examine bathtub.

 

Stranger: You walk over and look into the bathtub. The bottom of the bathtub is covered with powdered cleaner. More hair is stuck in the drain.

 

You: Okay, I give up, it's late. Where does this bastard keep bodies?

 

Stranger: Not enough cleaner is in the bathtub to clean up a dead body.

 

You: Exit bathroom 1.

 

Stranger: You exit the room. On the floor are recent bloodstains, still partly wet, leading out of the house.

 

Stranger: They were not there before.

 

You: Exit house.

 

Stranger: You exit the house. The push mower is gone. The sign at the front of the house is uprighted, the grime on it partially wiped off by a hand.

 

You: Enter toolshed.

 

Stranger: You enter the toolshed. The hand saw is gone.

 

You: Oh, shiiit. Exit shed.

 

Stranger: You exit the shed. A grimy handprint adorns the side of the house.

 

You: Any evidence of handprints on the doorknob?

 

Stranger: The doorknob to the tool shed is covered in grime.

 

You: Is there a garage?

 

Stranger: The handprint on the side of the house seems to be leading to it.

 

You: Enter garage.

 

Stranger: You walk over to the garage and enter it. Dirt drag-marks are on the floor, leading to a clean spot on the floor the size of a car. There is wet blood in the dirt. There is a car in the garage, an old, unused Lincoln Town Car.

 

You: Examine Town Car

 

Stranger: The town car is old and rusty, but it looks like it would still run. The doors are unlocked.

 

You: Enter car.

 

Stranger: You get into the driver's seat of the car. The inside is dusty.

 

You: Examine back seat.

 

Stranger: There is nothing in the back seat except dust.

 

You: Open glove compartment

 

Stranger: You open the glove compartment. Inside are some papers, a flashlight, a utility knife, and a picture of you and two other people. One is a woman, with long brown hair, the other is an older man. You have your arm around the woman.

 

You: Exit car, open trunk.

 

Stranger: You walk to the back of the car and open the trunk. Inside is a tire iron, a crowbar, a spare tire, and some gasoline. There is a stain in the fabric of the trunk next to the gasoline can. It has been recently used.

 

You: Do the tire tracks from where the other car was lead anywhere?

 

Stranger: They lead off the driveway, turning left.

 

You: Get in town car, go down driveway, turn left.

 

Stranger: You get in and start the car. The car roars to life, and you feel a sense of comfort as you roll out of the driveway, turning in the direction of the tire tracks.

 

You: Are the tracks still visible?

 

Stranger: Yes.

 

You: Follow tracks.

 

Stranger: You follow the tracks, making your way through the streets of what is now apparently a suburb. You notice as you drive that accompanying the tire tracks is a small trail of oil, a barely noticeable puddle visible every 50 feet.

 

You: Follow oil trail.

 

Stranger: You follow the oil trail out of the suburb, and into a small town. After about 3 blocks, the oil trail stops.The car has been parked outside of a thrift store.

 

You: Exit Town Car.

 

Stranger: You step out of the Town Car.

 

You: Examine other car.

 

Stranger: You walk over to the other car. It is an old Ford F-150. The bed is empty. There is no one in the car.

 

You: Try to open door. If locked, try to pick lock.

 

Stranger: The door is locked. You reach into your pocket and find a paperclip and a pencil. After almost 10 minutes, you bash the lock with the bottom of your palm, frustrated. The door unlocks. You are lucky no one noticed you picking the lock in public.

 

You: Enter car.

 

Stranger: You sit down in the driver's seat of the car.

 

You: Open glove compartment.

 

Stranger: You open the glove compartment. Inside is a 9mm pistol with 3 bullets, a utility knife, and a broken steak knife. You notice it is the one you found in the pantry.

 

You: Take pistol, exit car.

 

Stranger: Pistol added to inventory.

 

Stranger: You exit the car.

 

You: Enter thrift store

 

Stranger: You walk across the sidewalk and into the thrift store. On the racks in the middle of the store are some old clothes. There are shelves around the store. On one of the shelves, you hear a familiar tune from a video game you once played. A computerized female voice sings about cake.

 

You: Anyone in the store? Other than GLaDOS., I mean.

 

Stranger: There are 8 other people in the store. Two teenagers, two older men with backpacks, a woman working at the counter, a woman near the sound of the music, and 3 young adult girls. Most of them have their backs to you, all of them examining products on the racks or shelves.

 

You: Exit store, enter town car, open glove compartment, take the photo.

 

Stranger: You take the photo.

 

You: Exit town car, enter thrift store.

 

Stranger: You re-enter the thrift store. The woman at the counter looks at you oddly.

 

You: Ask woman at counter if she has seen older man in photo.

 

Stranger: She takes a quick look and shakes her head. Almost immediately, she looks again. "There's a man who looks kind of like that older one in the back."

 

You: Find the older man.

 

Stranger: As you walk through the thrift store, you look at the two older men with backpacks. As your eyes land on the second man, who is at the back of the store looking at tools, he turns and sees you. He immediately runs, blasting through the fire escape at the back of the store. The fire alarms sound, and the sprinklers go off.

 

You: Follow him.

 

Stranger: You run through to the back of the store, bursting through the fire escape. You are soaked. You see him run around the corner.

 

You: Continue to follow him.

 

Stranger: You run around to the corner. As you look around the corner, you see a discarded handsaw covered in blood, still clattering after hitting the ground. The man is 200ft down the street.

 

You: Chase him.

 

Stranger: You run down the street, chasing after the man. For an older man, he is in good shape, as you struggle to keep pace with him.

 

You: Keep pursuing him.

 

Stranger: You cross a street running after him. You are hit by a car as it brakes trying to stop for you. You are knocked to the ground, winded but uninjured. The man runs around the corner out of sight.

 

You: Turn in the same direction the man went to.

 

Stranger: You run down the street, panting as you try to recover from being hit by that car. Adrenaline begins to flow as you get a second wind. As you get to the next corner, you see him sprinting across the intersection parallel to you

 

You: Keep following him

 

Stranger: You run towards the intersection he's sprinted across, reaching it with surprising speed. He is 300 ft in front of you.

 

You: Chase him until he runs out of wind

 

Stranger: You chase him down the street. For a while he matches your pace, but begins to slow down. He is 150ft in front of you.

 

You: Keep running towards him

 

Stranger: You continue catching up to him. As you reach 75ft between the two of you, he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a pistol.

 

You: Take out pistol, aim and shoot.

 

Stranger: You simultaneously shoot at each other. You both miss, as you both seem to be untrained with firearms. He runs into the door next to him.

 

Stranger: You have 2 bullets remaining.

 

You: Enter door.

 

Stranger: You run into the door. It is an upscale restaurant. There is a man laying on the floor, shot in the head. He apparently tried to stop him.

 

You: Is the older man nearby?

 

Stranger: The door to the kitchen is swinging back and forth.

 

You: Enter kitchen

 

Stranger: You burst through the kitchen door. A chef sits propped up against a dishwasher, holding his arm. He has been shot. Another chef lunges at you with a knife.

 

You: Attempt to fight armed chef

 

Stranger: You assume a fighting stance. As he starts to lunge, he notices the gun in your hand, immediately dropping the knife and throwing his hands into the air, screaming, "Please, don't kill me!"

 

You: Ask chef which direction olderman went

 

Stranger: He hastily points towards the back door, sniffing loudly as his eyes being to water.

 

You: Run out back door

 

Stranger: You run out of the back door. You are in an alleyway. There is an exit to your left and right.

 

You: Any footprints?

 

Stranger: No. You see a handprint on a sign at the end of the left exit.

 

You: Turn left.

 

Stranger: You run and exit the alleyway to your left.

 

You: Any sign of the man?

 

Stranger: The man is 500ft down the street to your right, waving his pistol in the air to clear a clump of people as he runs.

 

You: Follow him

 

Stranger: You run down the street after him. The difference in stamina starts to show, as you begin to quickly close the distance between the two of you.

 

You: Attempt to shoot him.

 

Stranger: Are you sure you wish to fire? You are 350ft away.

 

You: No, keep following

 

Stranger: You keep running, the crowd he dispersed quickly running away from the sidewalk after seeing a second man with a gun. You are 275ft away.

 

You: Keep running

 

Stranger: As you approach 150ft of distance, he turns onto the property of a large brick house, running inside and slamming the door.

 

You: Attempt to enter brick house.

 

Stranger: As you enter the property, a gunshot whizzes out of a 1st floor window, narrowly missing you and breaking the stepping stone you are standing on.

 

You: Back door?

 

Stranger: The house is too small to have a back door.

 

You: Approch front door again.

 

Stranger: He shoots another bullet at you, from the other window on the first floor. He narrowly missed again.

 

You: Enter first broken window.

 

Stranger: You jump through the broken window. You hear another bullet impact the wall in the hallway in front of you.

 

You: Oh god... Enter hallway

 

Stranger: You enter the hallway. The man is at the end of the hallway at the entrance to the living room. He shoots at you again, missing. He is exhausted from running. You are lucky to be alive.

 

You: Shoot at him

 

Stranger: As you raise your arm to fire, he runs out of the doorframe. You fire, missing the doorway entirely, the bullet penetrating the wall to the right of it. You hear the satisfying sound of a bullet thudding against flesh.

 

Stranger: You have one bullet remaining.

 

You: Run through door frame.

 

Stranger: You run through the door frame into the living room. The man is at the other doorway, uninjured, gun drawn. There are body parts hanging from the ceiling.

 

You: Use final bullet

 

Stranger: You fire before he does. The bullet flows through the air, cutting it loudly as it flies across the room, striking him in the head. The contents of his head paint the wall behind him as he falls to the ground.

 

You: Does he still have his backpack?

 

Stranger: Yes.

 

You: Open backpack.

 

Stranger: You walk over to his body, pulling the backpack off him and opening it. Inside is the head of the woman in the picture.

 

You: Is that all?

 

Stranger: Congratulations. U are teh winner.

 

You: You made my night.[/hide]

 

 

 

[hide=]Connecting to server...

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

 

Stranger: hi

 

You: You are alone in a dark passage. It leads off to the east and west.

 

You: What do you do?

 

Stranger: Look into the east passage.

 

You: You see off in the distance a dim light, very dim and thin.

 

Stranger: go east

 

You: You go east and the thin light spreads out into a rectangle. You can see the light creep out between a door and a jamb.

 

You: You stop at the door.

 

Stranger: exermine door

 

You: Examine?

 

Stranger: yeah :-D oups

 

You: It's a door. It's made of wood, and it's a little old.

 

You: It looks like it leads outside.

 

Stranger: press an ear onto the door and listen

 

You: You listen to the door. You don't hear much, just some little tweets from birds outside.

 

You: If the door could think, it would think that putting your head against it is an odd thing to do.

 

Stranger: save game

 

Stranger: open door

 

You: You save the game right where you are.

 

You: You open the door. It's bright and sunny outside, and a cool breeze blows into the house and around you. You feel refreshed.

 

Stranger: step out

 

You: You step onto a little wooden porch.

 

Stranger: look around

 

You: You look to the right, and there's a nice place to sit out on the porch. There are a couple porch chairs there. You look to the right, and you see the corner of the house. You look in front of you and there are steps leading down to a path, and a path leading to the road.

 

You: You are up on a big grassy hill, overlooking a small town.

 

You: You notice that the house is big, somewhat old, wooden, and white.

 

You: It looks like a nice house.

 

Stranger: go to the path

 

You: You go on the path. Looking back you can see more of the house. You see that it has a driveway, and a little garage. There are some clothes drying on a line around the corner.

 

Stranger: go to the street

 

You: You go out on the street. It seems like it's a long way down to the town.

 

Stranger: go back to the house, to the garage

 

You: You go to the garage. The door is open just a crack, and unlatched.

 

Stranger: open garage

 

You: You open the big garage door. As you open the door, you reveal a classic car. It's black, with chrome trim. It's obviously a valuable car, something a movie star in the 20's might have been chauffeured around in.

 

Stranger: go into the car

 

You: You hop in the car. You feel like an important person, and imagine yourself driving this awesome car. You notice something poking your thigh in your pocket as you get in, and something crumples in your back pocket.

 

You: It crumples as you sit down.

 

Stranger: examine back pocket

 

You: You pull a folded note out of your pocket.

 

Stranger: read note

 

You: You unfold the note, and a light, familiar scent unfolds with it.

 

You: The note reads:

 

You: "Stranger, I saw you from across the room last night, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to you.

 

You: You may not have noticed me, but you plucked each string of my heart gently as a harp player might play his instrument.

 

You: I want to know more about you, but I was too timid to bring myself to talk to you. I hope that you find this note I put in your jacket pocket before you put your coat, and me, away in your closet at home.

 

You: I hope we will meet again,

 

You: Yours, Isabella."

 

Stranger: go into the house

 

You: You get out of the car again, and you feel the contents of your right front pocket shift back into place as you do so. You leave the garage and go back through the front door of the house.

 

Stranger: examine right front pocket

 

You: You pull out a black Mont Blanc pen, and a keyring with three keys on it.

 

Stranger: examine keys

 

You: There are three keys. One is an old house key, one doesn't have any identifiable marks on it, and the third has a car company emblem on it.

 

Stranger: examine inner house

 

You: You see the passage you found yourself in originally past the door. It's dark in there, and you can't make out the other end.

 

Stranger: search the walls for a light button

 

You: You find a light switch off to the left.

 

Stranger: press light switch

 

You: You flick the light switch on. You see the tasteful wallpaper you picked out when you moved into the house, and you see a coat rack to your right.

 

You: You see at the end of the hall, an opening to another room.

 

Stranger: examine coat

 

You: It's your coat from last night. It still smells like pretty girls' perfume.

 

Stranger: take on coat

 

You: You put on your coat. It's a pretty nice and sunny day, so you're kind of hot in your jacket.

 

Stranger: go into the other room

 

You: You go into the other room. It's a pleasant room, with a desk, a table and a few chairs around.

 

Stranger: examine desk

 

You: You see some paper, a book you've been writing about meeting a mysterious woman, your other pens and pencils, and some drawers in the desk.

 

Stranger: read book

 

You: It's your book. You wrote it. You remember adding a couple chapters earlier in the week, but not being motivated enough to do much else.

 

Stranger: put book into inventory

 

You: The book is too big to fit in your pockets, and it's not bound. It would fall apart if you brought it with you, and you spent so much time writing it that you don't want to mess up the page order.

 

Stranger: read paper

 

You: The other paper on the desk is blank.

 

You: You use it to write the book.

 

Stranger: open drawers

 

You: There are some matches, a couple pen knives, a small address book, some of your nice cologne, and an old picture of your deceased wife in the drawers.

 

Stranger: put pen knives into inventory

 

You: You put the pen knives in your pocket, along with your keys, the black pen and the note from the mysterious woman named Isabella.

 

Stranger: take one match and light it

 

You: You light the match. You like the sulphur-y smell it makes when you strike it against your desk.

 

Stranger: burn old picture

 

You: You burn the picture of your wife. You loved her very much, but it's time to let her go.

 

Stranger: spray cologne onto neck

 

You: You smell like a classy dude now. Clearly out to get the ladies.

 

Stranger: read address book

 

You: You see some of your old friends' phone numbers in the address book, and a few of your wife's friends' numbers and addresses. She was always better at keeping records than you were, and her handwriting was neater.

 

Stranger: examine room for other doors

 

You: There's a small staircase leading upstairs, and an open door leading into the kitchen.

 

Stranger: go upstairs

 

You: You go upstairs. You can see downstairs from the sort of balcony above the living room, and you can see two doors leading the house's bedrooms.

 

Stranger: go into one bedroom

 

You: You go into the bedroom closest to you. It's your spare bedroom. You see the bed is made nicely, as no one as come to visit in a long time. The sheets and the curtains are white, and the windows are open slightly. The thin curtains blow in the breeze and smell like they've been freshly cleaned out on the clothes line. You know they haven't, but the smell has stayed with them.

 

Stranger: go into other bedroom

 

You: You leave the spare bedroom and go into the other bedroom. It's your bedroom. You see the bed is unmade, and kind of stinky since you haven't changed the sheets in a while. You see some of your wife's old things in the room, namely her perfumes and hair brush on the dresser. Your watch is on the nightstand. You didn't put it on this morning as you hadn't really been planning on going out.

 

Stranger: put on watch

 

You: You strap the watch onto your wrist, and you feel a little restricted by the pull of the leather against your skin.

 

Stranger: read watch

 

You: It's 8:12.

 

Stranger: put wife's old things under the bed

 

You: You sweep her crap off your dresser and shove it under your bed.

 

Stranger: go downstairs, into the kitchen

 

You: You go down into the kitchen. It's a bit of a mess.

 

Stranger: examine kitchen

 

You: There's some crusty cereal bowls around, not much going on here. You haven't used any of the cooking equipment because you don't want to wash it. Your refrigerator is pretty vacant.

 

Stranger: look for other doors

 

You: There are windows outside, but no other doors. There used to be a door to the pantry, but you took it off because it squeaked and it was bothering you.

 

Stranger: go into living room

 

You: You're in the living room.

 

Stranger: look around for other rooms

 

You: Ain't none.

 

Stranger: go out of the house and search for a tree

 

You: You go out of the house, and look around. There's not much on the hill besides your house, but there is a nice big oak tree that you and your wife spent some time hanging a tire swing from one afternoon.

 

Stranger: go to oak tree and examine it

 

You: You go over to the oak tree. The tire swing is tied up pretty high in the tree, and the rope is long. You remember climbing the tree to get the rope tied up there.

 

Stranger: sit into tire and swing

 

You: You get in the tire. It's a nice big fire engine tire that you found downtown, so you fit in easily.

 

You: You swing, and feel relaxed.

 

Stranger: look covertly around for any bystanders

 

You: Nobody's up on your hill.

 

Stranger: urinate against tree

 

You: You unzip your pants, and start pissing like a racehorse. It's pretty hard to aim since you're swinging, but whatever. It's your tree dammit.

 

Stranger: take mental note to build an outbilding with a bathroom and go into the car

 

You: You should have realized when you bought the house that it didn't have a bathroom. What kind of [developmentally delayed]ed narrator imagines up a big house with no bathroom in it? I mean [cabbage].

 

You: You go in the garage and get in your sweet car.

 

Stranger: start the car with the right key and drive down to the road

 

You: You start the car up and it purrs. You feel a tingle of excitement as you begin to pull away and the tires make a satisfying crunch as you roll slowly over your gravel driveway. You start to open up on the accelerator as you turn out of your driveway and onto the street.

 

Stranger: drive to the town

 

You: You really let it rip as you go tearing down from your house on the hill. You open up the windows and feel the cool air blow past you as you speed on down towards the little town. Suddenly, you're at the bottom of the hill and in the town. You slow down as you head onto the main street.

 

Stranger: examine main street

 

You: As you drive by, you see a few small shops, the grocery store, and a couple other places. You see the dance hall at the end of the street, and the bar next to that. You just passed the local church as you came out of the bottom of the hill.

 

Stranger: drive to the bar

 

You: You roll on up to the bar and park out front.

 

You: It seems quieter than you remember it usually is.

 

Stranger: order a tea

 

You: You go into the bar, but you don't see the usual activity and hubbub. There's no one tending the bar, and no patrons.

 

Stranger: go into the kitchen

 

You: It's pretty much alcohol only here. There's no kitchen, just the bar.

 

Stranger: go back into car and drive to grocery store, then enter it

 

You: hold on, I'll be right back

 

Stranger: ok

 

You: Sorry, I really had to go to the bathroom.

 

You: You go to the car, drive to the grocery store, and go in.

 

You: There's no one here either. The lights are off, and there's nobody shopping or at the cash registers.

 

Stranger: read watch

 

You: It's 8:43.

 

Stranger: go back into car and drive to the church

 

You: You drive over to the church.

 

Stranger: enter church and examine it

 

You: As you walk in, something doesn't seem right.

 

You: You see everyone in town in the church, but it's quiet, just like the empty stores were.

 

You: Everyone is in their pews, facing the pulpit.

 

Stranger: go to the altar and examine it

 

You: You go up to the altar, and you see the large bowl of ceremonial wine people take communion from. It's about half empty.

 

You: You smell a familiar, sweet smell.

 

Stranger: search for the bible and take it

 

You: You find the bible on the priest's podium. You kick the priest lying on the floor out of the way so that you can pick up the book. The people in their pews continue to stare listlessly up and the ceiling and lean on each other, barely staying above the floor.

 

Stranger: stab one pen knive into the bible and drop it into the bowl

 

You: You unfold your nice, wooden pen knife and stab it deep into the bible's leather binding.

 

You: You drop it into the half empty bowl of wine, and its pages soak up the red liquid.

 

You: The parishioners continue to lurch.

 

Stranger: go into the pulpit

 

You: You get up into the pulpit where you found the bible. You step over the priest again.

 

Stranger: distend the arms to the ceiling and call out loudly "You are all doomed!", then run out of the church laughing maniacally

 

You: You yell at the ceiling, and declare the obvious to the parishioners. They don't look surprised, just limp. You start cackling and screaming, and run out of the church. You leave your pen knife in the bible in the wine bowl, and the familiar scent behind you.

 

Stranger: light one match and ignite the grass around the church

 

You: You light a match, but you'll be damned if you can light that goddamned grass. Why the hell is everything so nice and green around here? What is this weird, unnaturally pleasant place? It's almost as if someone made it all up for a game.

 

Stranger: go back into the car and drive to the dance hall

 

You: You thoroughly enjoy the roar of the engine of your thoroughly awesome car as you zip over to the dance hall.

 

Stranger: enter the dance hall

 

You: You enter the dance hall. It's empty here too.

 

Stranger: start to dance around like to speedcore music

 

You: You flail wildly in the empty dance hall. It dawns on you that with the state of everyone in the church, you can pretty much do whatever you want in the town.

 

Stranger: go back into the car in order to drive to the shops, then examine them

 

You: You drive by the shops. There's a music store and a hardware store and a small diner. That's about it.

 

You: You see down one street that there's a small schoolyard, and a basketball court outside of it.

 

Stranger: break into the music store

 

You: You smash the music store windows, then sheepishly walk through the open door.

 

You: There's all kinds of instruments in here, and you don't know how to play any of them.

 

Stranger: search for music albums

 

You: There are a few records on the counter, next to an old Victrola record player.

 

You: The records don't seem too old, but the labels are too small for you to read without your glasses.

 

Stranger: search for a banjo

 

You: You don't find a banjo. The only things in this store that you really know what to do with are the records and the record player.

 

Stranger: play a random record with the player

 

You: You pick up a record, and put it on the player. It scratchily begins to spin, and you hear a very familiar pop beat play:

 

You: You hear a crooner sing along with the beat:

 

You: "Now this is a story, all about how / my life got flipped, turned upside down / and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there / I'll tell you how I became the Prince of Bel Air...

 

You: "In West Philadelphia, born and raised / on the playground is where I spent most of my days. / Chillin' out, maxin', relaxing all cool / And shootin' some b-ball outside of the school / when a couple of guys, who were up to no good / started makin' trouble in the neighborhood...

 

You: "I got in one little fight and my mom got scared! / She said you're movin' with your auntie and uncle out in Bel Air...

 

Stranger: throw the player out of the shop window

 

You: You throw the player out of the broken shop window, but somehow the record stays on it and continues to play.

 

Stranger: run into the car and drive to the school

 

You: "I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "Fresh" and had dice in the mirror / If anything I could say that this cab was rare / but I thought, man forget it: Yo home to Bel Air!

 

You: You run outside and jump into your car. You drive to the school. Thankfully, the record player landed neatly on the hood of your car and miraculously stays there during the trip.

 

Stranger: go to the school

 

You: "I pulled up to a house about seven or eight / and I yelled to the cabby, yo home! smell you later...

 

You: You go to the school. You can still hear the record player in the distance.

 

You: "Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there / the seat of my throne as the Prince of Bel Air!"

 

Stranger: enter the school

 

You: You enter the school.

 

Stranger: look around for a hidden pedobear

 

You: There's nothing really in the school, just a few children's desks and the teacher's desk.

 

You: You hear a soft click as the old Victrola automatically flips the 45 record over and begins to play the other side.

 

You: A deep baritone voice rings out in the school, echoing in the empty streets.

 

Stranger: run out and turn the player off

 

You: You pull the needle off the record, but you stab the [cabbage] out of your hand. You've probably got tetanus. You should get that checked out after this song finishes playing.

 

Stranger: take the record and throw it away

 

You: "We're no strangers to love / You know the rules and so do I...

 

You: Your hand hurts like a [bleep]. It's bleeding all over the place from being cut on the record needle. You crumple on the ground as the record plays loudly around you.

 

You: "A full commitments what Im thinking of,

 

You wouldnt get this from any other guy.

 

 

 

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling,

 

Gotta make you understand

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Weve known each other for so long

 

Your hearts been aching

 

But youre too shy to say it.

 

Inside we both know whats been going on,

 

We know the game and were gonna play it.

 

 

 

Annnnnd if you ask me how Im feeling,

 

Dont tell me youre too blind to see

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Give you up. give you up.

 

Give you up, give you up.

 

Never gonna give

 

Never gonna give, give you up.

 

Never gonna give

 

Never gonna give, give you up.

 

 

 

Weve known each other for so long

 

Your hearts been aching

 

But youre too shy to say it.

 

Inside we both know whats been going on,

 

We know the game and were gonna play it.

 

 

 

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling,

 

Gotta make you understand

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you."

 

You: The record finishes.

 

You: The narrator is pleased.

 

Stranger: cast disintegrate which i have prepared this morning on the player

 

You: You make a weird gesture with your hand, and flick some of the blood oozing out of it towards the record player.

 

You: If everyone in the town hadn't died this morning, they would certainly think you've got some malady of the mind.

 

Stranger: go back into the car and drive out of the town

 

You: You muster up what strength you've got, and get back in your car. You drive out of the town.

 

You: The wind blows in your hair as you stick your head out the window to get your mind off the pain in your hand.

 

Stranger: search for a city

 

You: There's nothing around for miles. You and your now-deceased wife picked this little town because you wanted to be isolated. You got it bub.

 

Stranger: park the car at the side of the street

 

You: You pull over and park your car.

 

Stranger: start to jerk off laughing hysterically

 

You: You fail to get your fly undone, but you manage to wipe a frightening amount of blood on your trousers instead.

 

You: You make a half-hearted attempt to laugh hysterically, but you don't really feel very good because of how much blood you've lost from your hand. Damn that record needle.

 

You: Maybe you'll just lie down for a minute here...

 

Stranger: cut a bit off the coat with one of the pen knives and wind it around the wound

 

You: You dress your wound, bleeding all over as you do so.

 

Stranger: look into the rear trunk

 

You: You open the trunk of your car. There's a duck with wheels in the back.

 

Stranger: search under the wheels for the wife's corpse

 

You: You find a candle and a car jack.

 

Stranger: go back into the car and drive to the hardware store

 

You: You drive over to the hardware store.

 

Stranger: look through the window

 

You: It is filled with boxes. Thousands of them.

 

You: You suspect that there may even be over nine thousand boxes in the store.

 

Stranger: search the town for a cat

 

You: You find that damned cat that's always around at the construction side on Elm street. It's head sneaks out from behind a girder and it gives you a knowing look.

 

Stranger: ask the cat "Are you a lolcat?"

 

You: The cat is a cat. It looks at you like it wants some food.

 

You: A wild abra appears!

 

Stranger: examine the abra

 

You: Abra used teleport. It's gone. Just you and that damned cat now.

 

Stranger: roll a d8 to decide how to handle the cat, 1-3 kick it, 4-5 jump onto it, 6-8 pull its tail

 

You: In a burst of flame, the cat explodes. You are singed by the blast, but you'll be just fine in a bit.

 

You: Or will you? The ground tears open violently. Clearly the laws of physics no longer apply. The girders in the building turn into grapefruits.

 

You: You begin to float uneasily in the air, unable to control your movements.

 

You: You watch, helpless, as the hardware store turns into a pinyata, six of the dead people in the church fly out the stained glass windows and turn into dogs

 

You: Your hand is instantly healed, and you feel wonderful.

 

Stranger: cast meteor swarm on the dogs

 

You: Isabella flies by, and you smell that intoxicating perfume you smelled on her note, but she zips by too quickly for you to say anything.

 

You: You are paralyzed, unable to move or breathe. Your shirt turns into a mound of maggots and they drip off your flesh towards the ground. Your underpants turn into bingo cards.

 

You: A bear appears out of thin air and looks confused, then a whale and a bowl of petunias drop from the sky.

 

You: The record player crumples in on itself, and flies at you, slowly turning into gold as it does.

 

You: You're hit square in the face by the golden, crushed record player. It caves in your skull, and your eyes pop out and turn into hammers.

 

You: You piss your pants in uncontrollable fear, but before you can consider what's happening, the part of your brain that would normally do that turns into cottage cheese.

 

You: You can't see it, because your eyes are hammers, but you hear your house off in the distance becoming a bottle of aged whisky.

 

Stranger: :-D

 

Stranger: nice hear ability

 

You: Your car, which was really awesome and cool, flies to the moon and escapes all this nonsense. It's too damned sweet for this kind of [cabbage], and it will have none of this insane narrative.

 

You: The school becomes a donkey, the donkey becomes a school, the school is bought by a nice couple from the city and renovated to become a seaside resort.

 

Stranger: they were all dead, remember ^^

 

You: All the instruments in the music store play themselves, expertly I might add, and hold a parade.

 

You: The couple came from a different city and renovated the school. What the hell, you didn't object when the dead people flew out the windows and turned into dogs!

 

You: That's the most logical thing to happen so far, and you don't like it!?

 

Stranger: :-D

 

You: Holy hell.

 

Stranger: it was the most illogical ^^

 

Stranger: so i mentioned it

 

Stranger: because they can't appear out of nothing

 

You: What, since everything is completely illogical now, the logical things become illogical?

 

Stranger: when the town is completely empty ^^

 

You: They drove in! In a 1976 Cadillac! It's red!

 

Stranger: too late :P

 

You: Let me get on with my total destruction of the town, if you don't mind.

 

Stranger: now let's go to a normal conversation ^^

 

You: You know what. Forget it. The town, the whole world, and the universe itself turn into a slice of lightly buttered toast.

 

You: And I eat the toast, because toast is damned good.

 

You: Then I make myself another slice because I'm not entirely satisfied with the toast, that was just your ENTIRE UNIVERSE, that I just ate.

 

You: So there.

 

Stranger: lol

 

Stranger: how old are you?

 

You: 19.

 

You: Thanks for playing along.

 

Stranger: :-P

 

Remainder of the conversation redacted due to boring chit-chat.

 

You have disconnected.[/hide]

[forestfrolic]

Lots of reading.

 

 

 

[hide=]Stranger:You are alone in a dark hallway. There are doors on your left and your right. What do you do?

 

You: Left door.

 

Stranger: You arrive at the left door.

 

You: Open left door.

 

Stranger: You open the left door and entrler the kitchen. It has not been used for some time, yet the smell of blood fills the air. Possibly from a roast.

 

You: Oven.

 

Stranger: You open the oven. There is nothing inside but a small pool of blood on the bottom tray.

 

You: Sink.

 

Stranger: You look in the sink. Caught in the drain are some strands of long, brown hair, and some small chunks of meat.

 

You: Uh... Under the sink.

 

Stranger: You look in the drawers under the sink. Inside are some cleaners. Bleach, window cleaner, and tile cleaner. All recently used.

 

You: Refridgerator.

 

Stranger: You walk over to the refridgerator and open it. The smell of rotting food overwhelms your senses. Years old food has been left rotting in here.

 

You: Is there a pantry? Pantry.

 

Stranger: You open the door to the pantry. There is more blood on the floor. Cleaner has been recently used on the concrete floor. On the shelf to your left there are numerous pots and pans, and more rotting food. There are some knives on the shelf to your right.

 

You: Inspect knives.

 

Stranger: The largest of the knives has recently been cleaned. There is still powdered cleaner clinging to the serrated edge.

 

You: Exit kitchen to hallway.

 

You: Enter right door.

 

Stranger: You go through the right door. You are outside.

 

You: What's outside?

 

Stranger: You look around outside. The large wooden porch you are standing on is rotting, planks half-destroyed and falled through to the inside. The grass has not been mown in years. A push mower sits discarded in the tall grass. A dirty "For Sale By Owner" sign with half the letters worn away rests on its back by the street.

 

You: Is there a tool shed?

 

Stranger: Yes.

 

You: Enter tool shed.

 

Stranger: You walk over to the tool shed and enter it. Dust fills your nostrils. There are tools of every sort. On the table there are multiple saw of every kind. On the far wall are hammers, screwdrivers, and other assorted small tools. On the shelf to your right are toolboxes.

 

You: Examine saws.

 

Stranger: You pick up a handsaw and examine it. Long strands of brown hair are stuck to the saw. You notice a spatter of blood on the table, and the words "Please don't hur" scratched into the wooden table. The sentence is incomplete.

 

You: Examine toolboxes

 

Stranger: You open one of the toolboxes. Inside are more small, assorted tools, covered in dust. You find a small axe with a 7 inch long handle in the box.

 

You: Examine axe.

 

Stranger: The axe is covered in dust. The blade has not become dull from disuse yet.

 

You: Well, there was a grisly murder... If I was a sick [bleep], where would I keep the body? A bathtub.

 

You: Is there a bathroom on the property?

 

Stranger: There are two.

 

You: Exit shed. Find Bathroom 1.

 

Stranger: You walk across the grounds back into the house. You seem to know your way around the house as you make your way directly to the bathroom without hesitation.

 

You: Haha. Examine sink.

 

Stranger: You look at the sink. It is small, a cheap purchase to fill a required need. Water still sticks to the sides of the sink, evidence it has recently been used.

 

You: Open cabinet under sink.

 

Stranger: You open the cabinet underneath the sink. There are some old, unused medications. Most of the bottles are empty. There are personal hygiene products, as well as some cleaners.

 

You: Examine bathtub.

 

Stranger: You walk over and look into the bathtub. The bottom of the bathtub is covered with powdered cleaner. More hair is stuck in the drain.

 

You: Okay, I give up, it's late. Where does this bastard keep bodies?

 

Stranger: Not enough cleaner is in the bathtub to clean up a dead body.

 

You: Exit bathroom 1.

 

Stranger: You exit the room. On the floor are recent bloodstains, still partly wet, leading out of the house.

 

Stranger: They were not there before.

 

You: Exit house.

 

Stranger: You exit the house. The push mower is gone. The sign at the front of the house is uprighted, the grime on it partially wiped off by a hand.

 

You: Enter toolshed.

 

Stranger: You enter the toolshed. The hand saw is gone.

 

You: Oh, shiiit. Exit shed.

 

Stranger: You exit the shed. A grimy handprint adorns the side of the house.

 

You: Any evidence of handprints on the doorknob?

 

Stranger: The doorknob to the tool shed is covered in grime.

 

You: Is there a garage?

 

Stranger: The handprint on the side of the house seems to be leading to it.

 

You: Enter garage.

 

Stranger: You walk over to the garage and enter it. Dirt drag-marks are on the floor, leading to a clean spot on the floor the size of a car. There is wet blood in the dirt. There is a car in the garage, an old, unused Lincoln Town Car.

 

You: Examine Town Car

 

Stranger: The town car is old and rusty, but it looks like it would still run. The doors are unlocked.

 

You: Enter car.

 

Stranger: You get into the driver's seat of the car. The inside is dusty.

 

You: Examine back seat.

 

Stranger: There is nothing in the back seat except dust.

 

You: Open glove compartment

 

Stranger: You open the glove compartment. Inside are some papers, a flashlight, a utility knife, and a picture of you and two other people. One is a woman, with long brown hair, the other is an older man. You have your arm around the woman.

 

You: Exit car, open trunk.

 

Stranger: You walk to the back of the car and open the trunk. Inside is a tire iron, a crowbar, a spare tire, and some gasoline. There is a stain in the fabric of the trunk next to the gasoline can. It has been recently used.

 

You: Do the tire tracks from where the other car was lead anywhere?

 

Stranger: They lead off the driveway, turning left.

 

You: Get in town car, go down driveway, turn left.

 

Stranger: You get in and start the car. The car roars to life, and you feel a sense of comfort as you roll out of the driveway, turning in the direction of the tire tracks.

 

You: Are the tracks still visible?

 

Stranger: Yes.

 

You: Follow tracks.

 

Stranger: You follow the tracks, making your way through the streets of what is now apparently a suburb. You notice as you drive that accompanying the tire tracks is a small trail of oil, a barely noticeable puddle visible every 50 feet.

 

You: Follow oil trail.

 

Stranger: You follow the oil trail out of the suburb, and into a small town. After about 3 blocks, the oil trail stops.The car has been parked outside of a thrift store.

 

You: Exit Town Car.

 

Stranger: You step out of the Town Car.

 

You: Examine other car.

 

Stranger: You walk over to the other car. It is an old Ford F-150. The bed is empty. There is no one in the car.

 

You: Try to open door. If locked, try to pick lock.

 

Stranger: The door is locked. You reach into your pocket and find a paperclip and a pencil. After almost 10 minutes, you bash the lock with the bottom of your palm, frustrated. The door unlocks. You are lucky no one noticed you picking the lock in public.

 

You: Enter car.

 

Stranger: You sit down in the driver's seat of the car.

 

You: Open glove compartment.

 

Stranger: You open the glove compartment. Inside is a 9mm pistol with 3 bullets, a utility knife, and a broken steak knife. You notice it is the one you found in the pantry.

 

You: Take pistol, exit car.

 

Stranger: Pistol added to inventory.

 

Stranger: You exit the car.

 

You: Enter thrift store

 

Stranger: You walk across the sidewalk and into the thrift store. On the racks in the middle of the store are some old clothes. There are shelves around the store. On one of the shelves, you hear a familiar tune from a video game you once played. A computerized female voice sings about cake.

 

You: Anyone in the store? Other than GLaDOS., I mean.

 

Stranger: There are 8 other people in the store. Two teenagers, two older men with backpacks, a woman working at the counter, a woman near the sound of the music, and 3 young adult girls. Most of them have their backs to you, all of them examining products on the racks or shelves.

 

You: Exit store, enter town car, open glove compartment, take the photo.

 

Stranger: You take the photo.

 

You: Exit town car, enter thrift store.

 

Stranger: You re-enter the thrift store. The woman at the counter looks at you oddly.

 

You: Ask woman at counter if she has seen older man in photo.

 

Stranger: She takes a quick look and shakes her head. Almost immediately, she looks again. "There's a man who looks kind of like that older one in the back."

 

You: Find the older man.

 

Stranger: As you walk through the thrift store, you look at the two older men with backpacks. As your eyes land on the second man, who is at the back of the store looking at tools, he turns and sees you. He immediately runs, blasting through the fire escape at the back of the store. The fire alarms sound, and the sprinklers go off.

 

You: Follow him.

 

Stranger: You run through to the back of the store, bursting through the fire escape. You are soaked. You see him run around the corner.

 

You: Continue to follow him.

 

Stranger: You run around to the corner. As you look around the corner, you see a discarded handsaw covered in blood, still clattering after hitting the ground. The man is 200ft down the street.

 

You: Chase him.

 

Stranger: You run down the street, chasing after the man. For an older man, he is in good shape, as you struggle to keep pace with him.

 

You: Keep pursuing him.

 

Stranger: You cross a street running after him. You are hit by a car as it brakes trying to stop for you. You are knocked to the ground, winded but uninjured. The man runs around the corner out of sight.

 

You: Turn in the same direction the man went to.

 

Stranger: You run down the street, panting as you try to recover from being hit by that car. Adrenaline begins to flow as you get a second wind. As you get to the next corner, you see him sprinting across the intersection parallel to you

 

You: Keep following him

 

Stranger: You run towards the intersection he's sprinted across, reaching it with surprising speed. He is 300 ft in front of you.

 

You: Chase him until he runs out of wind

 

Stranger: You chase him down the street. For a while he matches your pace, but begins to slow down. He is 150ft in front of you.

 

You: Keep running towards him

 

Stranger: You continue catching up to him. As you reach 75ft between the two of you, he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a pistol.

 

You: Take out pistol, aim and shoot.

 

Stranger: You simultaneously shoot at each other. You both miss, as you both seem to be untrained with firearms. He runs into the door next to him.

 

Stranger: You have 2 bullets remaining.

 

You: Enter door.

 

Stranger: You run into the door. It is an upscale restaurant. There is a man laying on the floor, shot in the head. He apparently tried to stop him.

 

You: Is the older man nearby?

 

Stranger: The door to the kitchen is swinging back and forth.

 

You: Enter kitchen

 

Stranger: You burst through the kitchen door. A chef sits propped up against a dishwasher, holding his arm. He has been shot. Another chef lunges at you with a knife.

 

You: Attempt to fight armed chef

 

Stranger: You assume a fighting stance. As he starts to lunge, he notices the gun in your hand, immediately dropping the knife and throwing his hands into the air, screaming, "Please, don't kill me!"

 

You: Ask chef which direction olderman went

 

Stranger: He hastily points towards the back door, sniffing loudly as his eyes being to water.

 

You: Run out back door

 

Stranger: You run out of the back door. You are in an alleyway. There is an exit to your left and right.

 

You: Any footprints?

 

Stranger: No. You see a handprint on a sign at the end of the left exit.

 

You: Turn left.

 

Stranger: You run and exit the alleyway to your left.

 

You: Any sign of the man?

 

Stranger: The man is 500ft down the street to your right, waving his pistol in the air to clear a clump of people as he runs.

 

You: Follow him

 

Stranger: You run down the street after him. The difference in stamina starts to show, as you begin to quickly close the distance between the two of you.

 

You: Attempt to shoot him.

 

Stranger: Are you sure you wish to fire? You are 350ft away.

 

You: No, keep following

 

Stranger: You keep running, the crowd he dispersed quickly running away from the sidewalk after seeing a second man with a gun. You are 275ft away.

 

You: Keep running

 

Stranger: As you approach 150ft of distance, he turns onto the property of a large brick house, running inside and slamming the door.

 

You: Attempt to enter brick house.

 

Stranger: As you enter the property, a gunshot whizzes out of a 1st floor window, narrowly missing you and breaking the stepping stone you are standing on.

 

You: Back door?

 

Stranger: The house is too small to have a back door.

 

You: Approch front door again.

 

Stranger: He shoots another bullet at you, from the other window on the first floor. He narrowly missed again.

 

You: Enter first broken window.

 

Stranger: You jump through the broken window. You hear another bullet impact the wall in the hallway in front of you.

 

You: Oh god... Enter hallway

 

Stranger: You enter the hallway. The man is at the end of the hallway at the entrance to the living room. He shoots at you again, missing. He is exhausted from running. You are lucky to be alive.

 

You: Shoot at him

 

Stranger: As you raise your arm to fire, he runs out of the doorframe. You fire, missing the doorway entirely, the bullet penetrating the wall to the right of it. You hear the satisfying sound of a bullet thudding against flesh.

 

Stranger: You have one bullet remaining.

 

You: Run through door frame.

 

Stranger: You run through the door frame into the living room. The man is at the other doorway, uninjured, gun drawn. There are body parts hanging from the ceiling.

 

You: Use final bullet

 

Stranger: You fire before he does. The bullet flows through the air, cutting it loudly as it flies across the room, striking him in the head. The contents of his head paint the wall behind him as he falls to the ground.

 

You: Does he still have his backpack?

 

Stranger: Yes.

 

You: Open backpack.

 

Stranger: You walk over to his body, pulling the backpack off him and opening it. Inside is the head of the woman in the picture.

 

You: Is that all?

 

Stranger: Congratulations. U are teh winner.

 

You: You made my night.[/hide]

 

 

 

[hide=]Connecting to server...

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

 

Stranger: hi

 

You: You are alone in a dark passage. It leads off to the east and west.

 

You: What do you do?

 

Stranger: Look into the east passage.

 

You: You see off in the distance a dim light, very dim and thin.

 

Stranger: go east

 

You: You go east and the thin light spreads out into a rectangle. You can see the light creep out between a door and a jamb.

 

You: You stop at the door.

 

Stranger: exermine door

 

You: Examine?

 

Stranger: yeah :-D oups

 

You: It's a door. It's made of wood, and it's a little old.

 

You: It looks like it leads outside.

 

Stranger: press an ear onto the door and listen

 

You: You listen to the door. You don't hear much, just some little tweets from birds outside.

 

You: If the door could think, it would think that putting your head against it is an odd thing to do.

 

Stranger: save game

 

Stranger: open door

 

You: You save the game right where you are.

 

You: You open the door. It's bright and sunny outside, and a cool breeze blows into the house and around you. You feel refreshed.

 

Stranger: step out

 

You: You step onto a little wooden porch.

 

Stranger: look around

 

You: You look to the right, and there's a nice place to sit out on the porch. There are a couple porch chairs there. You look to the right, and you see the corner of the house. You look in front of you and there are steps leading down to a path, and a path leading to the road.

 

You: You are up on a big grassy hill, overlooking a small town.

 

You: You notice that the house is big, somewhat old, wooden, and white.

 

You: It looks like a nice house.

 

Stranger: go to the path

 

You: You go on the path. Looking back you can see more of the house. You see that it has a driveway, and a little garage. There are some clothes drying on a line around the corner.

 

Stranger: go to the street

 

You: You go out on the street. It seems like it's a long way down to the town.

 

Stranger: go back to the house, to the garage

 

You: You go to the garage. The door is open just a crack, and unlatched.

 

Stranger: open garage

 

You: You open the big garage door. As you open the door, you reveal a classic car. It's black, with chrome trim. It's obviously a valuable car, something a movie star in the 20's might have been chauffeured around in.

 

Stranger: go into the car

 

You: You hop in the car. You feel like an important person, and imagine yourself driving this awesome car. You notice something poking your thigh in your pocket as you get in, and something crumples in your back pocket.

 

You: It crumples as you sit down.

 

Stranger: examine back pocket

 

You: You pull a folded note out of your pocket.

 

Stranger: read note

 

You: You unfold the note, and a light, familiar scent unfolds with it.

 

You: The note reads:

 

You: "Stranger, I saw you from across the room last night, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to you.

 

You: You may not have noticed me, but you plucked each string of my heart gently as a harp player might play his instrument.

 

You: I want to know more about you, but I was too timid to bring myself to talk to you. I hope that you find this note I put in your jacket pocket before you put your coat, and me, away in your closet at home.

 

You: I hope we will meet again,

 

You: Yours, Isabella."

 

Stranger: go into the house

 

You: You get out of the car again, and you feel the contents of your right front pocket shift back into place as you do so. You leave the garage and go back through the front door of the house.

 

Stranger: examine right front pocket

 

You: You pull out a black Mont Blanc pen, and a keyring with three keys on it.

 

Stranger: examine keys

 

You: There are three keys. One is an old house key, one doesn't have any identifiable marks on it, and the third has a car company emblem on it.

 

Stranger: examine inner house

 

You: You see the passage you found yourself in originally past the door. It's dark in there, and you can't make out the other end.

 

Stranger: search the walls for a light button

 

You: You find a light switch off to the left.

 

Stranger: press light switch

 

You: You flick the light switch on. You see the tasteful wallpaper you picked out when you moved into the house, and you see a coat rack to your right.

 

You: You see at the end of the hall, an opening to another room.

 

Stranger: examine coat

 

You: It's your coat from last night. It still smells like pretty girls' perfume.

 

Stranger: take on coat

 

You: You put on your coat. It's a pretty nice and sunny day, so you're kind of hot in your jacket.

 

Stranger: go into the other room

 

You: You go into the other room. It's a pleasant room, with a desk, a table and a few chairs around.

 

Stranger: examine desk

 

You: You see some paper, a book you've been writing about meeting a mysterious woman, your other pens and pencils, and some drawers in the desk.

 

Stranger: read book

 

You: It's your book. You wrote it. You remember adding a couple chapters earlier in the week, but not being motivated enough to do much else.

 

Stranger: put book into inventory

 

You: The book is too big to fit in your pockets, and it's not bound. It would fall apart if you brought it with you, and you spent so much time writing it that you don't want to mess up the page order.

 

Stranger: read paper

 

You: The other paper on the desk is blank.

 

You: You use it to write the book.

 

Stranger: open drawers

 

You: There are some matches, a couple pen knives, a small address book, some of your nice cologne, and an old picture of your deceased wife in the drawers.

 

Stranger: put pen knives into inventory

 

You: You put the pen knives in your pocket, along with your keys, the black pen and the note from the mysterious woman named Isabella.

 

Stranger: take one match and light it

 

You: You light the match. You like the sulphur-y smell it makes when you strike it against your desk.

 

Stranger: burn old picture

 

You: You burn the picture of your wife. You loved her very much, but it's time to let her go.

 

Stranger: spray cologne onto neck

 

You: You smell like a classy dude now. Clearly out to get the ladies.

 

Stranger: read address book

 

You: You see some of your old friends' phone numbers in the address book, and a few of your wife's friends' numbers and addresses. She was always better at keeping records than you were, and her handwriting was neater.

 

Stranger: examine room for other doors

 

You: There's a small staircase leading upstairs, and an open door leading into the kitchen.

 

Stranger: go upstairs

 

You: You go upstairs. You can see downstairs from the sort of balcony above the living room, and you can see two doors leading the house's bedrooms.

 

Stranger: go into one bedroom

 

You: You go into the bedroom closest to you. It's your spare bedroom. You see the bed is made nicely, as no one as come to visit in a long time. The sheets and the curtains are white, and the windows are open slightly. The thin curtains blow in the breeze and smell like they've been freshly cleaned out on the clothes line. You know they haven't, but the smell has stayed with them.

 

Stranger: go into other bedroom

 

You: You leave the spare bedroom and go into the other bedroom. It's your bedroom. You see the bed is unmade, and kind of stinky since you haven't changed the sheets in a while. You see some of your wife's old things in the room, namely her perfumes and hair brush on the dresser. Your watch is on the nightstand. You didn't put it on this morning as you hadn't really been planning on going out.

 

Stranger: put on watch

 

You: You strap the watch onto your wrist, and you feel a little restricted by the pull of the leather against your skin.

 

Stranger: read watch

 

You: It's 8:12.

 

Stranger: put wife's old things under the bed

 

You: You sweep her crap off your dresser and shove it under your bed.

 

Stranger: go downstairs, into the kitchen

 

You: You go down into the kitchen. It's a bit of a mess.

 

Stranger: examine kitchen

 

You: There's some crusty cereal bowls around, not much going on here. You haven't used any of the cooking equipment because you don't want to wash it. Your refrigerator is pretty vacant.

 

Stranger: look for other doors

 

You: There are windows outside, but no other doors. There used to be a door to the pantry, but you took it off because it squeaked and it was bothering you.

 

Stranger: go into living room

 

You: You're in the living room.

 

Stranger: look around for other rooms

 

You: Ain't none.

 

Stranger: go out of the house and search for a tree

 

You: You go out of the house, and look around. There's not much on the hill besides your house, but there is a nice big oak tree that you and your wife spent some time hanging a tire swing from one afternoon.

 

Stranger: go to oak tree and examine it

 

You: You go over to the oak tree. The tire swing is tied up pretty high in the tree, and the rope is long. You remember climbing the tree to get the rope tied up there.

 

Stranger: sit into tire and swing

 

You: You get in the tire. It's a nice big fire engine tire that you found downtown, so you fit in easily.

 

You: You swing, and feel relaxed.

 

Stranger: look covertly around for any bystanders

 

You: Nobody's up on your hill.

 

Stranger: urinate against tree

 

You: You unzip your pants, and start pissing like a racehorse. It's pretty hard to aim since you're swinging, but whatever. It's your tree dammit.

 

Stranger: take mental note to build an outbilding with a bathroom and go into the car

 

You: You should have realized when you bought the house that it didn't have a bathroom. What kind of [developmentally delayed] narrator imagines up a big house with no bathroom in it? I mean [cabbage].

 

You: You go in the garage and get in your sweet car.

 

Stranger: start the car with the right key and drive down to the road

 

You: You start the car up and it purrs. You feel a tingle of excitement as you begin to pull away and the tires make a satisfying crunch as you roll slowly over your gravel driveway. You start to open up on the accelerator as you turn out of your driveway and onto the street.

 

Stranger: drive to the town

 

You: You really let it rip as you go tearing down from your house on the hill. You open up the windows and feel the cool air blow past you as you speed on down towards the little town. Suddenly, you're at the bottom of the hill and in the town. You slow down as you head onto the main street.

 

Stranger: examine main street

 

You: As you drive by, you see a few small shops, the grocery store, and a couple other places. You see the dance hall at the end of the street, and the bar next to that. You just passed the local church as you came out of the bottom of the hill.

 

Stranger: drive to the bar

 

You: You roll on up to the bar and park out front.

 

You: It seems quieter than you remember it usually is.

 

Stranger: order a tea

 

You: You go into the bar, but you don't see the usual activity and hubbub. There's no one tending the bar, and no patrons.

 

Stranger: go into the kitchen

 

You: It's pretty much alcohol only here. There's no kitchen, just the bar.

 

Stranger: go back into car and drive to grocery store, then enter it

 

You: hold on, I'll be right back

 

Stranger: ok

 

You: Sorry, I really had to go to the bathroom.

 

You: You go to the car, drive to the grocery store, and go in.

 

You: There's no one here either. The lights are off, and there's nobody shopping or at the cash registers.

 

Stranger: read watch

 

You: It's 8:43.

 

Stranger: go back into car and drive to the church

 

You: You drive over to the church.

 

Stranger: enter church and examine it

 

You: As you walk in, something doesn't seem right.

 

You: You see everyone in town in the church, but it's quiet, just like the empty stores were.

 

You: Everyone is in their pews, facing the pulpit.

 

Stranger: go to the altar and examine it

 

You: You go up to the altar, and you see the large bowl of ceremonial wine people take communion from. It's about half empty.

 

You: You smell a familiar, sweet smell.

 

Stranger: search for the bible and take it

 

You: You find the bible on the priest's podium. You kick the priest lying on the floor out of the way so that you can pick up the book. The people in their pews continue to stare listlessly up and the ceiling and lean on each other, barely staying above the floor.

 

Stranger: stab one pen knive into the bible and drop it into the bowl

 

You: You unfold your nice, wooden pen knife and stab it deep into the bible's leather binding.

 

You: You drop it into the half empty bowl of wine, and its pages soak up the red liquid.

 

You: The parishioners continue to lurch.

 

Stranger: go into the pulpit

 

You: You get up into the pulpit where you found the bible. You step over the priest again.

 

Stranger: distend the arms to the ceiling and call out loudly "You are all doomed!", then run out of the church laughing maniacally

 

You: You yell at the ceiling, and declare the obvious to the parishioners. They don't look surprised, just limp. You start cackling and screaming, and run out of the church. You leave your pen knife in the bible in the wine bowl, and the familiar scent behind you.

 

Stranger: light one match and ignite the grass around the church

 

You: You light a match, but you'll be damned if you can light that goddamned grass. Why the hell is everything so nice and green around here? What is this weird, unnaturally pleasant place? It's almost as if someone made it all up for a game.

 

Stranger: go back into the car and drive to the dance hall

 

You: You thoroughly enjoy the roar of the engine of your thoroughly awesome car as you zip over to the dance hall.

 

Stranger: enter the dance hall

 

You: You enter the dance hall. It's empty here too.

 

Stranger: start to dance around like to speedcore music

 

You: You flail wildly in the empty dance hall. It dawns on you that with the state of everyone in the church, you can pretty much do whatever you want in the town.

 

Stranger: go back into the car in order to drive to the shops, then examine them

 

You: You drive by the shops. There's a music store and a hardware store and a small diner. That's about it.

 

You: You see down one street that there's a small schoolyard, and a basketball court outside of it.

 

Stranger: break into the music store

 

You: You smash the music store windows, then sheepishly walk through the open door.

 

You: There's all kinds of instruments in here, and you don't know how to play any of them.

 

Stranger: search for music albums

 

You: There are a few records on the counter, next to an old Victrola record player.

 

You: The records don't seem too old, but the labels are too small for you to read without your glasses.

 

Stranger: search for a banjo

 

You: You don't find a banjo. The only things in this store that you really know what to do with are the records and the record player.

 

Stranger: play a random record with the player

 

You: You pick up a record, and put it on the player. It scratchily begins to spin, and you hear a very familiar pop beat play:

 

You: You hear a crooner sing along with the beat:

 

You: "Now this is a story, all about how / my life got flipped, turned upside down / and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there / I'll tell you how I became the Prince of Bel Air...

 

You: "In West Philadelphia, born and raised / on the playground is where I spent most of my days. / Chillin' out, maxin', relaxing all cool / And shootin' some b-ball outside of the school / when a couple of guys, who were up to no good / started makin' trouble in the neighborhood...

 

You: "I got in one little fight and my mom got scared! / She said you're movin' with your auntie and uncle out in Bel Air...

 

Stranger: throw the player out of the shop window

 

You: You throw the player out of the broken shop window, but somehow the record stays on it and continues to play.

 

Stranger: run into the car and drive to the school

 

You: "I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "Fresh" and had dice in the mirror / If anything I could say that this cab was rare / but I thought, man forget it: Yo home to Bel Air!

 

You: You run outside and jump into your car. You drive to the school. Thankfully, the record player landed neatly on the hood of your car and miraculously stays there during the trip.

 

Stranger: go to the school

 

You: "I pulled up to a house about seven or eight / and I yelled to the cabby, yo home! smell you later...

 

You: You go to the school. You can still hear the record player in the distance.

 

You: "Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there / the seat of my throne as the Prince of Bel Air!"

 

Stranger: enter the school

 

You: You enter the school.

 

Stranger: look around for a hidden pedobear

 

You: There's nothing really in the school, just a few children's desks and the teacher's desk.

 

You: You hear a soft click as the old Victrola automatically flips the 45 record over and begins to play the other side.

 

You: A deep baritone voice rings out in the school, echoing in the empty streets.

 

Stranger: run out and turn the player off

 

You: You pull the needle off the record, but you stab the [cabbage] out of your hand. You've probably got tetanus. You should get that checked out after this song finishes playing.

 

Stranger: take the record and throw it away

 

You: "We're no strangers to love / You know the rules and so do I...

 

You: Your hand hurts like a [bleep]. It's bleeding all over the place from being cut on the record needle. You crumple on the ground as the record plays loudly around you.

 

You: "A full commitments what Im thinking of,

 

You wouldnt get this from any other guy.

 

 

 

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling,

 

Gotta make you understand

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Weve known each other for so long

 

Your hearts been aching

 

But youre too shy to say it.

 

Inside we both know whats been going on,

 

We know the game and were gonna play it.

 

 

 

Annnnnd if you ask me how Im feeling,

 

Dont tell me youre too blind to see

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Give you up. give you up.

 

Give you up, give you up.

 

Never gonna give

 

Never gonna give, give you up.

 

Never gonna give

 

Never gonna give, give you up.

 

 

 

Weve known each other for so long

 

Your hearts been aching

 

But youre too shy to say it.

 

Inside we both know whats been going on,

 

We know the game and were gonna play it.

 

 

 

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling,

 

Gotta make you understand

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

 

 

 

Never gonna give you up,

 

Never gonna let you down,

 

Never gonna run around and desert you.

 

Never gonna make you cry,

 

Never gonna say goodbye,

 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you."

 

You: The record finishes.

 

You: The narrator is pleased.

 

Stranger: cast disintegrate which i have prepared this morning on the player

 

You: You make a weird gesture with your hand, and flick some of the blood oozing out of it towards the record player.

 

You: If everyone in the town hadn't died this morning, they would certainly think you've got some malady of the mind.

 

Stranger: go back into the car and drive out of the town

 

You: You muster up what strength you've got, and get back in your car. You drive out of the town.

 

You: The wind blows in your hair as you stick your head out the window to get your mind off the pain in your hand.

 

Stranger: search for a city

 

You: There's nothing around for miles. You and your now-deceased wife picked this little town because you wanted to be isolated. You got it bub.

 

Stranger: park the car at the side of the street

 

You: You pull over and park your car.

 

Stranger: start to jerk off laughing hysterically

 

You: You fail to get your fly undone, but you manage to wipe a frightening amount of blood on your trousers instead.

 

You: You make a half-hearted attempt to laugh hysterically, but you don't really feel very good because of how much blood you've lost from your hand. Damn that record needle.

 

You: Maybe you'll just lie down for a minute here...

 

Stranger: cut a bit off the coat with one of the pen knives and wind it around the wound

 

You: You dress your wound, bleeding all over as you do so.

 

Stranger: look into the rear trunk

 

You: You open the trunk of your car. There's a duck with wheels in the back.

 

Stranger: search under the wheels for the wife's corpse

 

You: You find a candle and a car jack.

 

Stranger: go back into the car and drive to the hardware store

 

You: You drive over to the hardware store.

 

Stranger: look through the window

 

You: It is filled with boxes. Thousands of them.

 

You: You suspect that there may even be over nine thousand boxes in the store.

 

Stranger: search the town for a cat

 

You: You find that damned cat that's always around at the construction side on Elm street. It's head sneaks out from behind a girder and it gives you a knowing look.

 

Stranger: ask the cat "Are you a lolcat?"

 

You: The cat is a cat. It looks at you like it wants some food.

 

You: A wild abra appears!

 

Stranger: examine the abra

 

You: Abra used teleport. It's gone. Just you and that damned cat now.

 

Stranger: roll a d8 to decide how to handle the cat, 1-3 kick it, 4-5 jump onto it, 6-8 pull its tail

 

You: In a burst of flame, the cat explodes. You are singed by the blast, but you'll be just fine in a bit.

 

You: Or will you? The ground tears open violently. Clearly the laws of physics no longer apply. The girders in the building turn into grapefruits.

 

You: You begin to float uneasily in the air, unable to control your movements.

 

You: You watch, helpless, as the hardware store turns into a pinyata, six of the dead people in the church fly out the stained glass windows and turn into dogs

 

You: Your hand is instantly healed, and you feel wonderful.

 

Stranger: cast meteor swarm on the dogs

 

You: Isabella flies by, and you smell that intoxicating perfume you smelled on her note, but she zips by too quickly for you to say anything.

 

You: You are paralyzed, unable to move or breathe. Your shirt turns into a mound of maggots and they drip off your flesh towards the ground. Your underpants turn into bingo cards.

 

You: A bear appears out of thin air and looks confused, then a whale and a bowl of petunias drop from the sky.

 

You: The record player crumples in on itself, and flies at you, slowly turning into gold as it does.

 

You: You're hit square in the face by the golden, crushed record player. It caves in your skull, and your eyes pop out and turn into hammers.

 

You: You piss your pants in uncontrollable fear, but before you can consider what's happening, the part of your brain that would normally do that turns into cottage cheese.

 

You: You can't see it, because your eyes are hammers, but you hear your house off in the distance becoming a bottle of aged whisky.

 

Stranger: :-D

 

Stranger: nice hear ability

 

You: Your car, which was really awesome and cool, flies to the moon and escapes all this nonsense. It's too damned sweet for this kind of [cabbage], and it will have none of this insane narrative.

 

You: The school becomes a donkey, the donkey becomes a school, the school is bought by a nice couple from the city and renovated to become a seaside resort.

 

Stranger: they were all dead, remember ^^

 

You: All the instruments in the music store play themselves, expertly I might add, and hold a parade.

 

You: The couple came from a different city and renovated the school. What the hell, you didn't object when the dead people flew out the windows and turned into dogs!

 

You: That's the most logical thing to happen so far, and you don't like it!?

 

Stranger: :-D

 

You: Holy hell.

 

Stranger: it was the most illogical ^^

 

Stranger: so i mentioned it

 

Stranger: because they can't appear out of nothing

 

You: What, since everything is completely illogical now, the logical things become illogical?

 

Stranger: when the town is completely empty ^^

 

You: They drove in! In a 1976 Cadillac! It's red!

 

Stranger: too late :P

 

You: Let me get on with my total destruction of the town, if you don't mind.

 

Stranger: now let's go to a normal conversation ^^

 

You: You know what. Forget it. The town, the whole world, and the universe itself turn into a slice of lightly buttered toast.

 

You: And I eat the toast, because toast is damned good.

 

You: Then I make myself another slice because I'm not entirely satisfied with the toast, that was just your ENTIRE UNIVERSE, that I just ate.

 

You: So there.

 

Stranger: lol

 

Stranger: how old are you?

 

You: 19.

 

You: Thanks for playing along.

 

Stranger: :-P

 

Remainder of the conversation redacted due to boring chit-chat.

 

You have disconnected.[/hide]

 

 

 

I like. \

[forestfrolic]

This person took FOREVER to type..

 

 

 

[hide=]Connecting to server...

 

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

 

Stranger: i am looking for the taiwan female i jsut talking to, it's my networking issue. are you her?

 

You: no

 

Stranger: ok who are you

 

You: her friend

 

Stranger: cool

 

You: yeah

 

Stranger: you konw her?

 

Stranger: i have one question

 

You: okay?

 

Stranger: why you cheat me

 

Stranger: fine

 

You: i didn't cheat you

 

Stranger: ok i belive, you are her friend

 

Stranger: but she just said she have no friend

 

Stranger: how to expain

 

You: i ask her not to talk about me

 

Stranger: good

 

Stranger: you are pretty good at

 

Stranger: lying

 

You: lying?

 

Stranger: ok fine

 

Stranger: tell a lie

 

Stranger: where you from

 

You: taiwan

 

Stranger: where is taiwan

 

You: republic of china

 

Stranger: ?

 

You: tawain is in china

 

Stranger: ok fine

 

Stranger: so you are wower?

 

You: no

 

Stranger: can you tell me the city of taiwan

 

You: i am dux

 

You: tell you what about tawain?

 

Stranger: what is the meaning of du

 

You: dux is my name

 

You: nombre

 

Stranger: ok i am stranger

 

Stranger: stranger is my name

 

Stranger: so what about tawain?

 

You: tawain is where i live

 

Stranger: and can you tell me the city you konw in taiwan

 

You: yuanlin

 

Stranger: but as i konw

 

You: you are slow at typing stranger

 

Stranger: all the taiwan people hate china, so they won't talk about china

 

You: tawain is in china

 

You: they do not hate themselves

 

Stranger: are you sure?

 

You: yes i would know

 

Stranger: but i have met some people

 

Stranger: just as i said

 

Stranger: i am chinese

 

You: you have met extremists

 

Stranger: they disconnect

 

You: they are very dangerous

 

Stranger: funny

 

You: STOP

 

Stranger: why

 

You: TALKING

 

You have disconnected.[/hide]

[rangeor]

snip

 

I lol'd when he said "save game" and "put book in inventory" :lol:

 

 

 

Did you make that up or is there a site that has narratives on it, and you only make up answers to the ridiculous requests?

[Mylez]

[hide=I've lost faith in mankind for the zillionth time (racy language)]Connecting to server...

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

 

Stranger: Hey baby

 

You: Haha, hi

 

You: hiii

 

Stranger: Ru a girl

 

You: Yup

 

Stranger: How old

 

You: 16

 

You: u?

 

Stranger: 18 but I'd have sex with u

 

Stranger: U ever had sex b4

 

You: Not with anything alive

 

Stranger: Oh u have a vibrator or a dildo

 

You: nooo

 

Stranger: With wat

 

You: My really ccccuutee puppy

 

You: you shoulda seen him

 

You: I got him like 4 months ago

 

You: had to kill him though

 

Stranger: Bs

 

You: huh?

 

Stranger: U had to kill him

 

You: Yeah, wellll

 

You: I just get these urges

 

You: idk, you probably think im a dork now, haha!

 

Stranger: No baby

 

Stranger: Do u have a sexy vagina

 

You: So we cooked it too

 

Stranger: I don't believe u

 

You: I'm serrrrioussssss!!!! hhhhhhhhaahh

 

You: I've killed a lot of dogs

 

Stranger: Now tell me about your vagina and the size of ur boobs

 

You: for each one I kill, I take their largest molar and grind it up into a fine powder

 

You: and mix it with a cup of water, then drink upp!

 

You: ;D

 

Stranger: Tell me

 

You: More about dogs?

 

You: or what

 

Stranger: Ur vagina and the size of your boobs

 

You: Aren't you freaked out that I like to mutilate and kill puppies though?

 

You: doesn't that make you unnatracted to me?

 

Stranger: No

 

You: So, even if a person is a sociopathic puppy-mutilating pshyco, you still will superfically find them attractive just because they claim to have female reproductive organs on an anonymous chat on the internet?

 

Stranger: Yes, but I just want to know about ur vagina and boobs now

 

You: I'm a 17 year old male by the way

 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.[/hide]

 

 

 

 

 

That was [bleep]ing hilarious. :L

[BlindBaker]

[hide=This one's kinda long.]

Connecting to server...

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

 

Stranger: Hi there

 

You: Hey.

 

Stranger: Can you feel the universe

 

You: I feel it.

 

Stranger: YOu are it.

 

You: I am.

 

You: I am the universe.

 

Stranger: LET THAT SINK IN FOR A MOMENT PLEASE

 

Stranger: now

 

Stranger: what does that ulitmately mean

 

You: I am what I am.

 

Stranger: YOu are

 

You: I can be what I can be.

 

Stranger: GOD!!

 

Stranger: experiencing himself

 

You: Yes.

 

Stranger: but infinite subjective points of view

 

You: So many.

 

Stranger: Fascinating [cabbage]

 

You: Indeed.

 

Stranger: now here comes the catch

 

Stranger: i feel the universe functioning perfectly

 

Stranger: but im still perfectly locked inside myself

 

Stranger: instead of oneness

 

Stranger: i feel isolation

 

Stranger: The message

 

Stranger: you

 

You: What is isolation but seperation from your own body and soul?

 

Stranger: god

 

Stranger: is alone

 

You: Become in touch with yourself, and all will be shown.

 

Stranger: not seperation

 

Stranger: but being tied to ones false self

 

You: An excellent way to put it, I congratulate you, good sir.

 

Stranger: im hungry

 

Stranger: fish for dinner?

 

You: Mm.

 

You: I'm so full on these Smarties.

 

Stranger: lol

 

You: You know those giants ones you get at Cracker Barrel?

 

You: They're the [cabbage].

 

Stranger: nope

 

You: Ohh.

 

You: You ever heard of Cracker Barrel?

 

Stranger: afraid not

 

You: Ah.

 

You: Best place on earth.

 

You: And maybe even Mars.

 

Stranger: and the universe?

 

Stranger: tough call eh

 

You: But I am the universe.

 

Stranger: you are

 

Stranger: all is the best place

 

You: Iti s.

 

Stranger: YOu are me

 

Stranger: and i am you

 

Stranger: we are

 

Stranger: one in the same

 

You: And this fish. It is also me.

 

Stranger: and that rock

 

Stranger: and that spit on the ground

 

You: And this condom.

 

Stranger: that [cabbage] in you toilet

 

You: Ohh, yes.

 

Stranger: and the gold in the mountains

 

You: My gold.

 

Stranger: that cyanide in the seed

 

Stranger: and the marijuana

 

Stranger: growing in the field

 

You: Ohh, yes, my weed...

 

You: I think you need to lay off the peyote, dude.

 

Stranger: Mushrooms actually

 

You: Oh, sweet.

 

You: Hook me up?

 

Stranger: Maybe

 

Stranger: getting more next week

 

Stranger: so we can go see district 9 trippin balls

 

You: Hahaha.

 

Stranger: what state

 

You: I'd [cabbage] my pants.

 

Stranger: i probably will have to leave

 

Stranger: if i start havin a bad trip

 

Stranger: And i always do

 

You: Like, your milk duds just flip [cabbage] all over your eyeballs?

 

Stranger: not quite

 

You: Hmm.

 

Stranger: Have you ever done psychedelics

 

You: Nawp.

 

You: :)

 

You: But I hear about them.

 

Stranger: YOu should

 

Stranger: give it a try

 

You: Nah.

 

You: I have to go, sorry.

 

You have disconnected.

 

 

 

I don't actually do drugs, just to clarify.[/hide]

[Death]

Stranger: hi

 

You: hi

 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

 

 

o_o Am I that bad?

[BlindBaker]

Stranger: hi

 

You: hi

 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

 

 

o_o Am I that bad?

 

 

 

No, I'm sure he was just disappointed you didn't say "I'm a horny 18-year old California girl with big boobs."

[Skull]

Stranger: hi

 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

I time how long it takes them to disconnect. They all do it surprisingly fast. Mashing buttons so they think your typing tends to work though :lol:

[Nero]

snip

 

I lol'd when he said "save game" and "put book in inventory" :lol:

 

 

 

Did you make that up or is there a site that has narratives on it, and you only make up answers to the ridiculous requests?

 

 

 

Nah those are ones that others have done. I tried doing it, but I could never find anyone who either played a MUD/actually wanted to take part.

[forestfrolic]

snip

 

I lol'd when he said "save game" and "put book in inventory" :lol:

 

 

 

Did you make that up or is there a site that has narratives on it, and you only make up answers to the ridiculous requests?

 

 

 

Nah those are ones that others have done. I tried doing it, but I could never find anyone who either played a MUD/actually wanted to take part.

 

 

 

I tried playing british-legends.com. It was so confusing all of the controls. I'm sure if I gave it enough time I'd figure it out though. I did learn how to shout. It was fun because someone else was playing so they shouted back and tried to teach me how to play..