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TUTO ISLAND has some Bad News...

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I wish I had a 9hp account :L


Hypocrite. You tell others to be nice then attempt to murder people. Nice going, you just failed life.

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It's great to see so many positive comments and offers of help! Thanks again, guys.



My only question is, how were you able to buy a party hat this early? :shock:

I have a feeling he was having a bit of fun with us on that one. My guess is he borrowed it from a friend, which is why he wasn't concerned about taking it into dangerous places.


I'm looking through my choices for emoticons, and none of them represents a "conspiratorial nose-tap" particularly well, so I guess I'll have to settle for the wink instead. ;-)



I've been doing a bunch of different things lately, so I could post quite the mish-mash of material, but I think it's time for me to devote a post to our newest minigame skill, dungeoneering! Normally I wouldn't have a lot to say about it, but I've been riding high on the shoulders of giants lately. By that, I mean that I'm a bloodsucking leech, and that all the friends that have been letting me tag along during their runs in the dungeons deserve their credit, and a BIG thank-you. This post is meant to be that thank-you, but will be written as a how-to guide for any aspiring leeches out there. :^_^:



[hide=This guide/thank-you will commence once I've unloaded a few more quest reward screens.]enlightenedjourney.png





(I forgot to take a screenshot of the reward again. #-o)






STEP 1: Make some friends. Having more friends is usually better, but you should emphasize quality over quantity. Get to know your friends really well, learn about their lives, and go on adventures together.



STEP 2: Quit Runescape for about three years.



STEP 3: Return Triumphantly to Runescape. If you're lucky, your friends will still be playing, and their accounts will have reached very high levels. These high level accounts can be referred to as "ripe," as they are positively plump with experience and are ready to be leeched off of.



STEP 4: Convince your friends to go dungeoneering with you. Once you're in Dungeonheim, just lay back, stick your ring of razor-sharp teeth into your friend, inject an anti-coagulating agent into their bloodstream, suck blood from their veins until your little, writhing black body swells to bursting, and enjoy!



STEP 5: To keep your food friends convinced that you are anything other than a burden, every so often you could wipe the hemoglobin off of your face, and look busy for a bit. I recommend the following tricks:



* Grab the rune essence off of the starting tables, and make a rune. *


Just one performance of this low-effort skill-based task is already enough to avoid getting the red "Leecher" title at the end of the dungeon, which could potentially clue your friends onto the parasitic nature of your relationship. If you want to further protect your reputation, you could cast bones to bananas, or make a gatestone. This will grant you the "Party Magician" title at the end of the run, a title that people tend to find oddly endearing. Gatestones have one additional benefit - if you drop one outside of the door to the boss room, when your friends are ready to tackle the boss, you can beat them there by teleporting there directly, and then berate them for their sluggishness.



* Train skills that are hard to train on the surface. *


My favourite skill to train while Daemoneering is summoning...




I truly feel that the gorajo are the most adorable critters in Runescape. <3:



* During difficult fights, keep your team's morale high. *




Everybody benefits from a little bit of cheerleading.



* Avoid being the weakest link in the forced-teamwork rooms. *





* Be the picker-upper. *

This is a service that many parties will actually genuinely appreciate. It's a simple job - just follow your team around, pick up the cash and any useful items, and ferry them back to the start room where party members can collect them at their leisure. If you have enough hitpoints, you could even be the "Key Man" (collect keys and run/teleport around unlocking doors, as fast as possible). However, real leechers would never let their life points go above 100, so if you have, but still have the nerve to call yourself a "leecher," then get outta my sight. :mad:



* Keep the familiars company. *





Finally, it's worth noting that it's actually possible to bring the "orb of oculus" into Dungeonheim. This makes it possible for the leecher to fill an absolutely crucial role:


* Be your team's official photographer. *







There! Now that you've learned the Tuto Island MASTERLEECH system, you're well on your way to leeching excellence. Why, just ask this gentleman, a former pupil of MASTERLEECH...





(Thank you so, so very much Deirdrel, Royal, Galant, Steel Eater, The ekiM, and everyone else!)


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Weee Looking forward to your next story :)


And was nice talking with ya :smile:

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wow, absolutely amazing Tuto, if you ever need anything in game that you cannot get access too, feel free to drop me a PM, i'll even let you leech off of me

Account created on Weds, December 21st, 2005

99 cooking on December 12th, 2010. 99 Agility on September 30th, 2011. 99 Fletching on August 17th, 2012. 99 Prayer on March 22nd, 2016. 99 Farming on April 4th, 2016.

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This blog is up there with the best blogs I've ever read (I think only Villandra tops you on my list) But it's definately the most entertaining active blog I know of :D


Keep up the good work, feel free to add me if you need help and the other 8935478548 volunteers aren't on :-P

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This blog is quite amazing. :thumbsup:


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Zanaris is a lot more impressive than it was when I last laid eyes on it (while playing on Creaphis). I love what they've done with the place!


Okay, that's all I have to share this week, so I'll see you later.



Wait, you'd like to know how I got here, wouldn't you? Fine... I guess I can share a few details. :razz: Of course, "a few" will turn into "a few too many," because getting this character into Zanaris has actually been a very long process, that I began a long, long time ago...


(Two weeks is a long time, in my book.)


In the post I made on May 31st, I shared a screenshot of me killing a baby red dragon in my friend Royal's dungeon. I actually didn't go there just to play with my brand-new "protect from melee" prayer, but for two, very important reasons. One: to determine my max hit when wielding flowers. Two: to play a game of "seven minutes in heaven."






We never really got past the awkward small talk, so that was a drag, but the first matter was satisfactorily resolved. I found out that when I fight on the "accurate" style, while wielding flowers, and with a strength level that has been drained to 0 by about twenty glasses of chef's delight (I do like to imbibe) then my max hit is a whopping 9 life points of damage! That's not much, but in this case, less is better.


See, the main challenge for an HP pure who likes to quest is to find a way, not only to kill quest monsters without gaining much HP XP, but to get credit for killing quest monsters without gaining much XP. Rings of recoil and "vengeance other" are great ways to kill quest monsters, but if these are the only ways that you damage a monster, then as far as the game is concerned, when the monster runs out of health, you haven't actually killed it. It just sort of dies, spontaneously, and independently of your own actions. To get credit for a kill, you actually have to deal at least some "credited" damage to the monster, and there are only two ways I know of to do this:


1. Actually do some direct damage to the monster, with melee, range, or magic.

2. CANNON RAMPAGE :twisted:


Since the tree spirit lives in Entrana, option one is the more obvious choice. So, my primary plan, in brief, was to do some tiny amount of damage to the spirit by bonking it with flowers, and then recoil it to death. If all went well, I wouldn't even gain an entire point of HP XP. With this plan formed, I sprang into action!





Well okay, first I cannoned some chaos druids. Fun fact: you can actually train your range with a cannon on these guys without losing any money. The herb drops pay for the balls! Anyways, I cannoned (I'm just going to pretend that's a verb) chaos druids until I had level 40 range. I felt that this was important, as it would let me cannon big quest bosses more efficiently - quest bosses such as the Khazard warlord...






My excuse for delaying "Lost City" to beat this quest instead is the attack XP that you get in the reward. Honestly, though, I was just looking for excuses to delay the showdown with the tree spirit for as long as possible. I hadn't recoiled any quest bosses yet, and thinking about it made me nervous. :ohnoes: What if I dragged along all of my friends and all of my friends' friends who can cast "vengeance other," just for something to go wrong? What if I didn't drink a dose of sara brew at the right time, and died? (The Tree Spirit can hit up to 110, sara brews boost my health to 124, and my usual maximum number of lifepoints is 90...) What if, as soon as I got ready to deal a little bit of melee damage to the tree spirit, my internet connection dropped, causing me to do more damage to the spirit than I meant to, and then at the same time, a bolt of lightning struck Jagex's home office, somehow causing my character to gain invincibility and to reel out of control, murdering every spirit, zombie and demon in sight? (Okay, I guess that's not very likely.) I felt that, if my attack level was higher, then I'd at least be a little bit more confident about the impending showdown on Entrana. So, I also beat "The Grand Tree..."






I took the chance to train my movie-making skills by recording the fight with the black demon. You can watch the fight if you want, but... it's nothing special. I'm new at this. :oops:



Completing this quest brought me up to 44 attack! With a jaw-dropping attack level like that, I was finally out of excuses not to fight the tree spirit, so I fought back my nervousness, made final preparations, and rehearsed the details of my plan. In case you're as fond of minutiae as I am, here's the step-by-step plan I put together:


1. Recruit as many folks as possible who have 93 magic, and are willing to burn their runes by casting "vengeance other" on a pink-haired nooblet.

2. Equip items that minimize strength, but maximize accuracy and prayer bonus. (Note that, because flowers have to be equipped to minimize strength, even "maximized" accuracy is still pretty terrible. -.-)

3. Pack one super attack potion, two prayer potions, a handful of rings of recoil, a whole bunch of sara brews, and one big stack of cash so that I can buy more sara brews and rings of recoil from friends mid-fight if I have to.

4. Set "protect from melee" and "incredible reflexes" as my quick-prayers.

5. Bring everybody to the cave underneath Entrana, and get a member of my entourage to kill zombies until one drops a hatchet.

6. Drink a few doses of prayer potion (because prayer drains when you enter the dungeon), turn quick-prayers on, and then run to the fleeting safety of the Dramen Tree chamber.

7. Turn prayer off, drink a dose of sara brew, and then chop at the dramen tree with the aforementioned hatchet.

8. Madly swallow saradomin brew in great big gulps, while the tree spirit repeatedly brings me to a scant few life points above 0. Meanwhile, my rings of recoil and the barrage of castings of "vengeance other" should be chipping the spirit's health away.

9. Once the spirit is nearly dead, turn quick-prayers back on, boost attack by drinking a few doses of the super attack potion, and engage the tree spirit in melee! (Note that, thanks to the saradomin brews, my strength will still be at 0.)

10. Pray that the flowers will actually make contact, doing some very small amount of damage.

11. Once they do, continue the earlier recoil/vengeance strategy to finish the spirit off!

12. Chop a dramen branch, and celebrate. :thumbsup:


It's a marvelous plan, isn't it? But, it's undeniably complex, and just one misplaced click at any moment could lead to my death, or worse! While thinking about it, I started to feel a little bit discouraged again. So I decided to just kill the spirit with a cannon instead.



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Never gonna give you up.[/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide][/hide]

"We don't want players to be able to buy their way to success in RuneScape. If we let players start doing this, it devalues RuneScape for others. We feel your status in real-life shouldn't affect your ability to be successful in RuneScape" Jagex 01/04/01 - 02/03/12

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you're goddamn epic

Account created on Weds, December 21st, 2005

99 cooking on December 12th, 2010. 99 Agility on September 30th, 2011. 99 Fletching on August 17th, 2012. 99 Prayer on March 22nd, 2016. 99 Farming on April 4th, 2016.

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grats on doing the lost city =D> time for monkey madness now?

guthix rest is a good 10hp'ers "food". it boosts your max lp by 50 at full health so you will be at 140hp


oh and wait a min i didnt think you could bring cannons to entrana :huh:

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Tuto i must say this Your Just AMAZING!!!


YOUR THE #1 runescape player that knows how to play :P

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Brilliant. This is by far the most entertaining thread I have ever read on these forums. I really enjoy your paragraph-sized blurbs about random stuff that actually snap back to the big picture. Like I said, brilliant.

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yup...im hooked...awesome blog

I always tell the truth even when I lie

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Wow, without even typing anything, the post is hilarious. I am assuming you did manage to complete the quest, eh? :P

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Sorry guys, I don't have a proper post ready for you just yet. There won't be any updates for the next few days either, because I'm spending the weekend in Vancouver! :-o But, just to reassure you all that I'm still alive, I'll catch up on a few replies.


You're brilliant.

What happened to your cannon though? D:


I think that my cannon disappeared after the black demon's death because there are actually two identical Grand Tree dungeons. One exists simply as a battleground for this showdown with Glough and his little friend, and as soon as the demon dies, you get teleported to the other dungeon, which is the only one you're able to access forever afterward. Either that, or my cannon was sucked up into an errant wormhole created by an absent minded wizard, or a stealthy troupe of leprechauns hypnotized me and made off with my prized possession. Luckily for me, I bought the extended warranty, and am fully covered against all effects of geospatial anomalies and magical trickery. Nulodian gave me a new cannon, free of charge, and even a few extra cannonballs for my trouble.


oh and wait a min i didnt think you could bring cannons to entrana :huh:


True, you can't. That's why I brought some steel bars and smithed my own. :wink:


:lol: How far did it manage to go?


Catherby beach is about as far as I ever prodded that poor sheep, and it's also about as far as a sheep can go, in that direction, anyway. Getting a sheep across White Wolf Mountain isn't just difficult but well and truly impossible. (Just trust me on this - if anyone qualifies as an expert on virtual sheep prodding, I think I do. :grin:) To prod one further, you'd have to aim for Relekka, or the Piscatoris hunting area, or all the way south to the ogre city of Oo'glog. I believe that getting a sheep to each of these places should be possible, though challenging, to say the least.


Wish I had tried that when I did the quest.


For anyone who still has the chance, I definitely recommend trying this. Sheep herding doesn't deserve its bad reputation. After practicing for a little bit, you'll get a feel for it. Or, at least, I did; my vast experience with a wide array of video games definitely helped. After all, successful sheep herding requires top-notch reflexes, an adaptive acumen for puzzle solving, and an inexhaustible tolerance for all those times when the blasted sheep just takes off on its own at the worst possible time and lodges itself in a corner, from which it will refuse to move until it inevitably resets to its spawn point.


Okay, maybe I'm not making a strong case for sheep herding. But, well, I enjoy a good challenge, and the reactions you get from bystanders make it all worth it. :-)


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I definitely want to find out how to cannon on Entrana :XD:


In real life MMO you don't get 99 smithing by making endless bronze daggers.

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Okay I'm back! Vancouver was cool. I'll probably write something about that yet, and I'll definitely include a lot of screenshots - oops, I mean pictures - but right now I need to catch up on my Runescape blogging. Even though I haven't played Runescape for most of a week, there's a lot that I could write about. I've been saving some screenshots for rainy days like this.


For instance, I might as well post these quest rewards...





This was an easy quest to finish (you can kill the icelords with a cannon) but I'm a little confused about why my quest points were still 97 afterwards. (According to my screenshot collection, I already had 97 QP after finishing Lost City.)





Like iMase guessed, I was able to finish this quest without too much difficulty. ;-) Truth be told, I became so good at prodding sheep that I managed to finish the quest by accident. I was trying to take a few extra screenshots with a sheep near the "goal" gate when it just hopped over the gate on its own, as if it was sick of being prodded across the globe and just wanted to be put out of its misery. I had already euthanized the other three sheep, so as soon as the fourth one jumped over the fence, the game no longer let me prod any sheep at all and the quest was essentially over. This disappointed me a little; I had still been hoping to prod a sheep down to Castle Wars eventually, to enjoy the thrilled reactions I'd definitely get. :-D Part of me was relieved, though - herding a sheep to somewhere farther than Catherby would take tons of effort, and now that I can't prod anymore, I can spend that effort elsewhere, on things that probably deserve it a little more. :???:


Also, note that this quest gave me 5 QP instead of the listed 4. I guess that the missing QP from Cold War just took a while to find me.





Oh yeah, I beat this one too, as PuppyKing somehow knew already. :blink: Watch this video:



Pretty epic, right? Well, I'll be honest... Dragon Slayer is a joke amongst HP pures. Elvarg is an extremely easy beast to cannon. It actually took me longer to kill her than it should have. I'm told that sometimes she's dead before the cannon turns around twice.





This quest brought my defense up to level 37, which still isn't quite enough to equip a rune platebody, which I'm supposedly allowed to wear at this point, but it's close. If I'm lucky, a few more quests will bring it up to 40. I actually enjoyed this quest, by the way. After solving about eight bajillion clue-scroll sliding-block puzzles, I have become a lean, mean, block-sliding machine.



Hm, now what else do I have to show you... oh I know, look at this!




That's Tuto Island in the adamant, hiding behind the Horn of Glory, as always. But... look by her feet. See the stars? Tuto is a level 5 attacker! :-o And, actually, she's been level 5 for ages. I just never got around to showing it off before. :^_^: Here's a much older picture, in which she's already tooting her own master penance horn...





Also, I got level 50 leeching!




And, actually, that also happened ages ago. :-) But, what's new is that I bought myself a longbow sight...




I'll bet the longbow sight seems like an odd thing to buy for this character, or for any character really, but sighted longbows have an insanely high range bonus, which makes cannons more accurate. No, that doesn't make any sense. Yes, I'm going to take advantage of it anyway.



Anyways, reaching all of these big goals has shot my confidence through the roof! I'm starting to take bigger risks...













I'll give you one guess on how that last one ended.


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the other person died. you soloed the kq and got a drag chain drop?. grats :thumbsup:

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That may not mean much to you, but my eyes see disaster. Tuto Island has gained 50 HP XP! "Gained" is the wrong word, however, because this is truly a loss - a loss of a perfect, unblemished count of one thousand experience points, and a loss of opportunity. Who knows what quests I could yet conquer if I had 50 more XP points worth of wiggle room? This may very well herald an earlier end to Tuto Island's adventures; the moment when she has truly beaten every quest that she can afford to may come that much sooner!


Okay, that's enough melodrama for one post. Let me tell you what happened.


It all started when the Dorgeshuun Council asked me to do them a favour. We're on pretty good terms, them and I, so I figured, sure, I can help out a cave goblin in need. The job was pretty easy anyways; all I had to do was babysit this Zanik girl and show her around. I figured I'd give her a tour of all the hottest, most happenin' night spots in Lumbridge, but it turned out that "day" was what she was more interested in.



I can see how the sun would be a novel object if you'd never seen it before. Personally, though, I'm no fan of it. I'm a Runescape player, so obviously I try to avoid its nefarious rays as much as possible.



Anyways, Runescape never stays peaceful for long, so pretty soon we found ourselves in some serious hijinks. Luckily though, Zanik can handle herself in a scrap.





However, just a little bit later, her skills with that crossbow proved to be my undoing. We'd found out that this fellow named Sigmund was up to no good, and was starting trouble in Zanik's neighbourhood, so we grabbed our best weapons (a crossbow for her, rings of recoil for me) and confronted him. Zanik pulled out her bow and started mowing down his guards, while I provoked Sigmund into attacking me and let my passive-aggressive recoil strategy do its work. Things were going surprisingly well, until a question suddenly occurred to me: am I getting HP XP from this? I quickly moused over my HP icon to find out, and to my horror, I was! Every time that Zanik damaged an enemy, she gave me the experience for it. Needless to say, I was shocked that Zanik would betray our friendship in such a way. I immediately teleported away and left her to fend for herself.


The next few days were rough. I felt disappointed that I might not be able to finish as many quests as I'd been hoping, because lots of quests force you to take some HP XP, and with level 10 HP looming so close, I don't have as many XP to spare anymore. I felt a little bit worried that there really weren't more quests for me to do, since I'd "used up" all of the easy ones in my first few weeks of adventuring. I even started to feel a little bit bad for ditching Zanik like I did. I thought, maybe it wasn't really her fault. Lots of people do silly things when under pressure, and maybe Zanik just gave me her XP by accident. Zanik definitely was under a lot of pressure; she had her entire home city to save, and she needed me to help her save it, and I let her down. So, all in all, this was a downer. To make things worse, it was only the start of a string of bad luck. For instance, I got sent to prison...




Even worse is that Foofles II has entered his rebellious phase. He never listens to a word I tell him anymore. He even dyed his hair!



They grow up so fast... :cry:



I knew I couldn't mope around forever, so, eventually, I got back to work righting the world's wrongs. I fixed a cantankerous old gadget...




...with the help of a cantankerous old gnome.



I can't say that anything about this quest was particularly inspiring, but, I guess that hearing the familiar "Quest Complete" music helped to restore my spirit of adventure. Or, maybe time had simply healed my wounds, as time is often said to do. In any case, I was feeling ready to tackle new challenges and to take big risks, despite the misfortunes I had suffered. The world is an ugly place after all, where bad things happen, but at least you can be the one causing bad things to happen to other people. So, I met back up with Zanik (who'd been holding Sigmund's guards at bay for an entire week), ready to deal with Sigmund, once and for all...


Click this! \/

With Sigmund and his cronies dealt with, Zanik's home town was safe once again! I forgave Zanik for giving me HP XP (though trust me, it wasn't easy), and even told her she could come along with me when I'm questing, as long as she carries the supplies and leaves her crossbow at home. Zanik didn't seem all that impressed by that offer, but she knew that she owed me one, so she talked it over with the Dorgeshuun Council, and now I'm allowed to visit Dorgesh-Kaan any time I want!








For the record, I've asked around, and it seems like Tuto Island is the first character with 9 HP - or even 10 HP - to ever enter Dorgesh-Kaan. I think that's pretty cool.






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