Is it possible to be too nice?

[Albel]

At the university I am attending, I am considered by most to be a very nice guy. I'm willing to help anyone out in any situation. I'm always willing to lend money to anyone who needs it. I'm respectful, caring, and loving to all my friends and teachers (according to my peers).

Now everyone's definition is slightly different to everyone else's, so this question can be difficult to ask. But it was raised about three days ago when I was going to band. I was following behind someone who was going to band. When they got passed the door they shut the door on me hitting my face and giving me a nasty headache. I fell back and of course yelled in pain (it's a very heavy wooden door). My friend who shut the door on me came out to see if I was okay. Of course the first thing he asked is "Are you okay?"

I say "I'm okay, just need to sit down for a bit." Then I said two words that started all of this. "I'm sorry." Everyone looked at me confused, saying that; "Justin, you should not say your sorry, MIKE is the one that should be saying he is sorry. You did nothing wrong."

I don't know why I said it, I just did. And throughout the day I though of other situations where something like this occurred. And I noticied something. Every time when something like this occurred I did say I was sorry, multiple times. Some examples.

• One time a friend of mine stepped on my foot. She said she was sorry for stepping on it and I said I was sorry for being in her way.
  
• Sometimes when I give my friends suggestions for something I'll say I'm sorry if I'm trying to seem like a 'Know it all'.
  
• I would say sorry after telling a joke that didn't really offened anyone.
  

This list can go on and on. So I guess the question I am asking is am I too nice or too forgiving to my friends?

[Princess Viola]

I don't really thing there is a such thing as "being too nice" or being a "goody-two-shoes".

 

Of course, I'm only 13 and sick right now so I can't really explain it.

 

However, there is a difference between really nice and downright [bleep]ing creepy.

[Nadril]

It does kind of seem like it.

[Goonstalf]

As long as you don't let people walk all over you, you should be fine. There's nothing wrong with a nice and friendly personality.

[tripsis]

It's certainly possible to be too nice for your own good, at least.

[Giordano]

YES THERE IS.

 

A friend of mine always gives away his food when people ask him for it. Granted, people caught on and are just hogging it. The idiot.

[K4ylan]

I would say no, although there are those people that will try to take advantage of you. Then again, you probably wouldn't hang out with those people. I have a few friends that are like you, and they're loved by pretty much everyone at school.

[Alg]

As long as you don't let people walk all over you, you should be fine. There's nothing wrong with a nice and friendly personality.

There's a difference between being too nice and being gullible I think...

 

Don't think it's possible to be too nice though. Actually kind of good to know that there are people that are almost too nice.

[Iamdan]

Being too nice definitely bites you in the [wagon] when you get olde

[Flyingjj]

I have been called too nice before. Never in a negative way though. And sometimes, saying I'm sorry becomes more of a habit than anything. It's not a good habit to have, though, as it actually can be annoying.

 

From one too nice guy to another, I think being too nice is okay. And I'm sorry if that doesn't help. :wink:

[Orpheus]

There's a difference between altruism and being too nice, naturally. You have to draw a line on how nice you can be.

[Albel]

I think I have a very clear idea of where the line is from being to nice and being gullible as local put it. I do remember being younger people taking advantage of me being to gullible. That was ages ago and I learned my lesson. Intresting answers guys :thumbup:

[l0rd]

I just favorited this video today on YouTube. Although it focuses more on the dating aspect of being nice, I still think it's pretty relevant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ck6sV3A3hGo&playnext_from=TL&videos=VSyWI_W0m2E

[Blutters]

You should be fair, not nice.

[Albel]

I just favorited this video today on YouTube. Although it focuses more on the dating aspect of being nice, I still think it's pretty relevant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ck6sV3A3hGo&playnext_from=TL&videos=VSyWI_W0m2E

Wow, that was actually intresting to watch. I dont think of my self as a 'door mat' for other people. As I said before, I do have a line between being nice and being stepped on. But a really intresting video none the less.

[Riku3220]

I'm like you OP, even when something isn't my fault like someone speeding around the corner in the hallway and knocking me, I apologize. I don't know why, it's just natural.

 

Of course for things like lending money you'll need a good reason and for food it depends on what it is, your situation (no money for lunch gets some. If you have food be prepared to trade), and how hungry I am.

[Lenticular_J]

Sounds to me like you're letting people walk all over you. I used to be ... Kind of like that. Not so bad, I guess. Now, I don't really know when it happened, but more people apologize to me. It's a good feeling. I guess it's just how you carry yourself.

[RpgGamer]

As long as you retain the ability to stand up for yourself and say "no" every now and then, you aren't being 'too nice" which, can in fact happen.

[i_love_burritos]

Yes, it does seem like it. You don't seem like "doormat", but that whole "thank you" thing comes down to habit not personality.

[RpgGamer]

Yes, it does seem like it. You don't seem like "doormat", but that whole "thank you" thing comes down to habit not personality.

 

 

maybe he's just Canadian?

[purfishx]

Just a quick question, why are you so nice?

[Saru Inc]

Co-dependence s0n. I got it too, you'd rather embarrass yourself than other people. Basically. LIke if you and your friend are ordering a pizza, he asks what kind you, but you ask him and he says hawaiian. Ok well you wanted Pepperoni but you lie and say hawaiian to make him happy. Co-dependant people are pretty annoying thus why I'm trying to self-cure myself.

[Hobgoblinpie]

Yes, there is such a thing as being too nice. Opening doors for others is courteous, as is lending some money towards a friend. But going out of your way to do so (say, giving money to a complete stranger) would be considered being 'too nice' as you're letting people walk over you. Some people will exploit this niceness, but in your case it just sounds like you're a nice guy. I often say apologise for other peoples mistakes, and no-one seems to care about it too much.

 

As long as you don't let people walk over you and exploit your niceness, there is nothing wrong with it. :thumbup:

[SeanyTheSailor]

I definitely think it is possible to be too nice. I used to work with this guy called Terry, he had teretz(or however you spell it) . I felt bad for Terry because apparently at one time he had been a college professor, but where else would I meet him than washing dishes at a restaurant(Note: he never told me he was a professor I was told about this by other workers). And despite all this, Terry had to be the most polite person I ever met. If you got in HIS way, he'd apologize. He'd always ask you how you were doing, and was just an all around nice guy. While this is great in a way, lesser people would walk all over people like him.

[Albel]

Co-dependence s0n. I got it too, you'd rather embarrass yourself than other people. Basically. LIke if you and your friend are ordering a pizza, he asks what kind you, but you ask him and he says hawaiian. Ok well you wanted Pepperoni but you lie and say hawaiian to make him happy. Co-dependant people are pretty annoying thus why I'm trying to self-cure myself.

After reading this, this is how I am. It's scary but I had a situation very similar to this a few months back.

 

And to Hob, I think when I was younger I would let people walk over me. But as I have matured I have learned when to say no and when to have a back-bone so to speak.