The First Annual Off Topic Rap Battle

[Saru Inc]

What is this, motivation?

My way blows up your central station

Because we all know the commotion

That my promotions bring careens

Your locomotion into the ravine.

 

 

ill think of more

homework is a chore

[Orpheus]

Look up in the sky, it's a bird it's a plane,

It's Niflheim [bleep] and I'm bringing the pain,

I'd love to roll some lines in this grill, no lie,

But I've got an essay to rap on, goodbye!

[das]

I went out to lunch

Guess I had a hunch

That Off topic would eat this topic up

and be posting on this topic saying "sup"

People may be hating on my rhymes

if they do it's a crime

Because my flow is pure, my flow is whack

I'm cooler than the duck that goes "Aflac!"

Because everywhere I go women throw themselves at me

WAIT, not another verse of misogyny.

Because I really don't need to rap to make myself look great

I feel like a million bucks - Scratch that - All the oil in Kuwait

I see so many peopel talking about homework or Essays

I look back, reflect about those days

Pen to a paper solving equations and doing research

The thought of all those sources makes me lurch

A few more things before I signoff

Niflheim turn your mic off!

Todd I work for your ISP

I'm causing your disconnects like Muhammad Ali

Just thought you might like to know

I got no limits to how crazy my raps go!

I will say i'm shocked it's went 5 pages and not been reported

Thats about as rare as an illegal alien not getting deported

But i'm thankful off topic is able to bust loose

and not be prudish and say "the deuce?"

Because these haters just don't understand

Love ~ Das , Got my start modding clans

[Guest Rob]

Do I really need to come and show you how it's done?

I'm wasting my time here, but I'll stay and watch the

I've reading what you're writing, it's all a waste of time

If i didn't know better, I'd say it was a crime

 

So, come on

 

You know the words, but you ain't got the nerves

What's this? Oh, you're choking now!

Look here, he's choking, down

Choking, not a sound

He knows the words but they won't come out

You came out, but how?

Get back off the stage and let the pros shell out

The lyrics that you ain't got the strength to say

Or any hint of skill, which you ain't showing today

I'm going easy too, but you gotta go away

At least one of us has got the nerves to play

The rap game, so you just hide and I'll search

Hide well, son, because when you go, it'll be by hearse

 

--------------------------------------

 

(I can't right very well right now, ill be back with something better later xD)

[Saru Inc]

I went out to lunch

Guess I had a hunch

That Off topic would eat this topic up

and be posting on this topic saying "sup"

People may be hating on my rhymes

if they do it's a crime

Because my flow is pure, my flow is whack

I'm cooler than the duck that goes "Aflac!"

Because everywhere I go women throw themselves at me

WAIT, not another verse of misogyny.

Because I really don't need to rap to make myself look great

I feel like a million bucks - Scratch that - All the oil in Kuwait

I see so many peopel talking about homework or Essays

I look back, reflect about those days

Pen to a paper solving equations and doing research

The thought of all those sources makes me lurch

A few more things before I signoff

Niflheim turn your mic off!

Todd I work for your ISP

I'm causing your disconnects like Muhammad Ali

Just thought you might like to know

I got no limits to how crazy my raps go!

I will say i'm shocked it's went 5 pages and not been reported

Thats about as rare as an illegal alien not getting deported

But i'm thankful off topic is able to bust loose

and not be prudish and say "the deuce?"

Because these haters just don't understand

Love ~ Das , Got my start modding clans

 

nice.

 

(rice)

 

However if the objects I attest

If non formality is what you suggest

But you seem to be going off topic,

A forum of with that name? Don't be myopic

Let's bring it back to our solar system

So let me crank up all my cynicism,

5 pages by and we have smooth sailed

But soon this thread will be derailed

 

 

Like a cat I sneak about and meow

But I'll pounce with such trite now.

You yourself have previously stated

With inner intention your mind related

Caused your fingers to sputter like an engine

As such politic threads like Injuns (indians LOL )

Are permeated our borders enforced with meters

Like fences keep all intellectual heaters

Away from our tracks in which we run.

So be spontaneous and be fun

But stay on the topic of defecating

On one's personality aching,

Cuz when you bring crap like illegal aliens

Then go to sleep kid here take an Ambien

Because once that stuff gets up in these joints

No amount of bengay will ungay this thread's points.

 

 

 

edit:

 

 

yeah my meter is messy in this rhyme

maybe if i skip all my hw ill have enough time

[champion]

Fire, water, air and dirt.

[bleep]ing magnets, how do they work?

[Guest Rob]

^ I approve. I love you, rocco. That was amazing :P

[TTanT]

YO SCHUMUCKS!

IN MY EYES YOU AIN'T BUT DUCKS

 

You see, silly humans

You can post all ya want

But any happiness is humus

And worth less than a taunt!

 

That didn't make much sense, but didn't need to either

'Cause I'm a dinosaur, do you need a breather?

I got teeth in my mouth, I got girls in my beds

If you look at my claws, I can tear you to shreds!

 

Really, don't pull any [cabbage]

'Cause I'll make you need a bandage!

I run like a Cheetah and jump like a flea

And with a single swipe or a chomp, I can decapitate ye!

 

I'm king of OT, and if any dispute

All that'll remain are a hand and a boot!

[Quest_Done]

I r guy who gun rap

I haz bad grammur but i dun give crap

 

my mind r sharp and my w0rds cleaur

noobies go running from my full bronze in fear

 

Im so famous i get camelot telpurts fur fr33

and zezima sent a friend request to me

 

i just got abby whip now i cant be beat

TASTE MY SPECIAL...oh wait what the beep!?

i forgut that meh attack is only 15

 

dun worry its k,

i'll use my l33t steel scimmy horray!

swords clash: cling, clang, grate, scrape

shuldnt have dueld a lvl 138

 

nao i r dead and sad

cuz im dead an this raps bad

[Saru Inc]

Runescape?

in this place?

Good thing this isn't a rat race

My lvl 130 would claw out your face

Tele othering your rhymes to the junkyard

And snaring whatever is left for my [developmentally delayed]s

Because god knows they need inspiration

Due to the lack of perspiration they creating

With that I part

Keep these words in your heart

 

Young Money

Ya Dig

 

A millionaire, I'm a young money millionaire

Tougher than Nigerian hair

My criteria compared to your career this isn't fair

I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed

Through the pencil and leak on the sheet of the tablet

In my mind 'cause I don't write [cabbage], 'cause I ain't got time

'cause my seconds, minutes, hours go to the all mighty dollar

And the all mighty power of that ch, ch, ch, ch chopper

Sister, brother, son, daughter, father motha[bleep] a coppa

Got the Maserati dancin' on the bridge [kitty] poppin'

Tell the coppers hahahaha you can't catch 'em, you can't stop 'em

I go by them goon rules if you can't beat 'em then you pop 'em

You can't man 'em then you mop 'em,

You can't stand 'em then you drop 'em,

You pop 'em 'cause we pop 'em like Orville Redenbacher!!

[bleep] I'm ill

 

A million here, a million there

Sicilian [bleep] with long hair

With coke in the derriere

Like smoking the thinnest air

I open the Lamborghini hopin' them crackers see me

Like look at that bastard weezy

He's a beast, he's a dog, he's a mother[bleep]ing problem

OK, you're a goon but what's a goon to a goblin?

Nothing, nothing -- you ain't scarin' nothing

On some [bleep] [cabbage] call him Denise Rodman

Call me what you want [bleep], call me on my sidekick

Never answer when it's private, damn I hate a shy [bleep]

Don't you hate a shy [bleep]?

Yeah I ate a shy [bleep]

She ain't shy no more, she changed her name to my [bleep]

hahahaha, yeah, [racist term] that's my [bleep]

So when she ask for the money, when you through don't be surprised [bleep]

It ain't trickin' if you got it

But you like a [bleep] with no ass, you ain't go [cabbage]

[bleep] I'm ill, not sick

And I'm OK but my watch sick, yeah my drop sick, yeah my glock sick and my knot thick

IM It!

[bleep] I'm Ill!

 

Yeah

See..

They say I'm rapping like Big, Jay and Tupac, Andre 3000 where is Erykah Baduh at? Who that?

Who that say they're gonna beat Lil' Wayne

My name ain't BIC, but I keep that flame man

Who that one that do that boy?

You all knew that

True that swallow

And I be the [cabbage] now you got loose bowels

I don't owe you like two vowels

But I would like for you to pay me by the hour

Ha ha, and I'd rather be pushing flowers

Than to be in the penn sharing showers

Ha, Tony told us this world was ours

and the Bible told us every girl was sour

don't play in the garden and don't smell her flower

call me Mr. Carter or Mr. Lawn Mower

boy I got so many [bleep]es like I'm Michael Lowry

even Gwen Stefani said she couldn't doubt me

[bleep] I say life ain't [cabbage] without me

Chrome lips poking out the coup look like it's pouting

I do what I do and you do what you can do about it [bleep]

I could turn a crack rock into a mountain, dare me

Don't you compare me 'cause there ain't nobody near me

They don't see me, but they hear me

They don't feel me, but they fear me.

I'm illie

C3

3P

Hahahaha

[Tim]

Fo' Snizzle my Nizzle.

 

...That's rap, right?

[Saru Inc]

Right.

 

Oh, so trite.

[das]

This rap keeps degrading and getting more and more illiterate

They will defend it as "yo dog it's how i rap, it's deliberate.

But i'm tired of people rapping about stuff they know nothing about

You kid's aint tough or rough we all know seeing a gun would make you shout

Half of you guys rapping about runescape don't even play anymore

Let's go fight in a PVPworld, and soon you will deplore

Me and all my awesome combat skills

I play the game like your girlfriend: Cheap Thrills

But when the rap is going sour and heading sown south

Leave it to the admin to spit some crazy stuff out of his mouth

expect i'm not really speaking to anyone at all

the truth is bitter like the cold of the fall

This post is digital

Certainly Lyrical

People will find it mystical

Not being egotistical

I'm just speaking how i feel

you know: Keeping it real

Be yourself, be who you are

And you won't sound fake you'll be a star

Take these and heed the words of Das

If you don't: I'll kick your ass

[Skull]

Whats up tif?

'Scuse me while I hit this spliff

I'm so ill

Contagious, you'll catch a chill

Split yo head and uh, [bleep] ya mind

Gnaw on your dome and spit out the rind

 

I'm fiendin for knowledge

and uh, dyin' for a purpose

Got no ambition for college

But don't want to be worthless

Just a product of society

always runnin' from poverty

Gotta get your [cabbage] in orderly

and label it chronologically

 

Lookin' back at how far I've come

But still got a long way 'til I'm done

Afraid to give in,

You can never win

but I won't stop 'til I've won

Just gotta stay on the run, run, run

I can finally rest at life's setting sun

 

(I haven't wrote any raps in ages. Don't hate.)

[stevepole]

[spoiler=hide]Runescape?

in this place?

Good thing this isn't a rat race

My lvl 130 would claw out your face

Tele othering your rhymes to the junkyard

And snaring whatever is left for my [developmentally delayed]s

Because god knows they need inspiration

Due to the lack of perspiration they creating

With that I part

Keep these words in your heart

 

Young Money

Ya Dig

 

A millionaire, I'm a young money millionaire

Tougher than Nigerian hair

My criteria compared to your career this isn't fair

I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed

Through the pencil and leak on the sheet of the tablet

In my mind 'cause I don't write [cabbage], 'cause I ain't got time

'cause my seconds, minutes, hours go to the all mighty dollar

And the all mighty power of that ch, ch, ch, ch chopper

Sister, brother, son, daughter, father motha[bleep] a coppa

Got the Maserati dancin' on the bridge [kitty] poppin'

Tell the coppers hahahaha you can't catch 'em, you can't stop 'em

I go by them goon rules if you can't beat 'em then you pop 'em

You can't man 'em then you mop 'em,

You can't stand 'em then you drop 'em,

You pop 'em 'cause we pop 'em like Orville Redenbacher!!

[bleep] I'm ill

 

A million here, a million there

Sicilian [bleep] with long hair

With coke in the derriere

Like smoking the thinnest air

I open the Lamborghini hopin' them crackers see me

Like look at that bastard weezy

He's a beast, he's a dog, he's a mother[bleep]ing problem

OK, you're a goon but what's a goon to a goblin?

Nothing, nothing -- you ain't scarin' nothing

On some [bleep] [cabbage] call him Denise Rodman

Call me what you want [bleep], call me on my sidekick

Never answer when it's private, damn I hate a shy [bleep]

Don't you hate a shy [bleep]?

Yeah I ate a shy [bleep]

She ain't shy no more, she changed her name to my [bleep]

hahahaha, yeah, [racist term] that's my [bleep]

So when she ask for the money, when you through don't be surprised [bleep]

It ain't trickin' if you got it

But you like a [bleep] with no ass, you ain't go [cabbage]

[bleep] I'm ill, not sick

And I'm OK but my watch sick, yeah my drop sick, yeah my glock sick and my knot thick

IM It!

[bleep] I'm Ill!

 

Yeah

See..

They say I'm rapping like Big, Jay and Tupac, Andre 3000 where is Erykah Baduh at? Who that?

Who that say they're gonna beat Lil' Wayne

My name ain't BIC, but I keep that flame man

Who that one that do that boy?

You all knew that

True that swallow

And I be the [cabbage] now you got loose bowels

I don't owe you like two vowels

But I would like for you to pay me by the hour

Ha ha, and I'd rather be pushing flowers

Than to be in the penn sharing showers

Ha, Tony told us this world was ours

and the Bible told us every girl was sour

don't play in the garden and don't smell her flower

call me Mr. Carter or Mr. Lawn Mower

boy I got so many [bleep]es like I'm Michael Lowry

even Gwen Stefani said she couldn't doubt me

[bleep] I say life ain't [cabbage] without me

Chrome lips poking out the coup look like it's pouting

I do what I do and you do what you can do about it [bleep]

I could turn a crack rock into a mountain, dare me

Don't you compare me 'cause there ain't nobody near me

They don't see me, but they hear me

They don't feel me, but they fear me.

I'm illie

C3

3P

Hahahaha

 

 

 

You looking like a fool

spitting other rhymes

Lets keep it fresh

Or we offing you to Riker

[The Dark Lord]

When I first saw 'dis thread

I started gettin crunk in da head

So I was like daaaamn

[racist term]z gonna be postin some spaaaam

[Saru Inc]

Riker?

I hardly even know her.

Despite what you have heard

I'm not one to be lured,

I see what you did there,

And I know what I'm doing here.

If I post other rappers styles

And lyrics then wait a while

I aim my pistil like a flower

It explodes as I pollinate

All other territories.

Not to be inflammatory,

But let's make this mandatory.

Starting right here and now,

I'll educate you how to spit down

The raps and attacks and ego faps

That come with chilling with those that stack

UP with the best, we the rest of the future

You? Go off boy and lick your sutures.

 

we done.

no fun.

[das]

You aim your pistol like a flower?

Careful, Phallic Symbols don't empower.

Yet in rap we all touch alike

it looks a bit phallic "am i right"?

I guess that realization set me back

make me question if my raps make a hack

I'm feeling lost lately

Feel like everyone hates me

I'm employeed but i feel like i'm barely getting by

work 8 hours then to the bar to go say hi

to whatever woman catches my sight

take another one home to begin a new plight

waking up next to a stranger I dont know

Another girl will claim me as her beau

I guess last night I was too inebriated

at least inher waking moments she said my loving was unabated

I'm finding what life really is and liking it less and less

I'm trying to be happy but frightened with all the stress

I hide in the darkness

Barely conscious

Hide me from the four letter word no filter can contain

Love: F*** it and everything do with it thereof!

[Saru Inc]

Aww I'm sorry, you're lost and confused.

Let me guide you quickly through life school.

A pistil is part of the flower that helps

Them reproduce is a shame you're such a whelp

I have to introduce you to basic biology.

Its k when I'm done, I'll read you your eulogy.

 

You say you work 8 hour days,

And unnumbered nights

Where do you find time to spray

Your words that flow so right.

I have come to a solution

To end all the convolution

It involves detail computing

And nerd genetic disputing.

It seems to me you must have used

Not drugs or girls but goddamn google

To get all your words and line fused.

I see through your lyrical loopholes

And untie the strings like your shoes

Wait what am I saying, you still on velcro

They call you the sunday blues

With nothing to do but stay home.

 

So I find it funny you mention these bars

Yet all I ever see at the bottom of the user bar

Is the red titled God named Das all alight

Meaning you stay and post all flippin night.

YOu say you wake up next to an unknown girl

I believe that's because you're still online

And we all know there's no girls in e-world

So next time you fall asleep next to a mirror

try and remember so the next morning is more clearer.

 

 

edit:

 

 

you taking too long to post

So so long my good host

In the land of nod i retire

maybe when i'm back you'll be higher

in the ranks of rappers and kings

but until then, stop with the flattering

[das]

For Hours and Hours I fidget with dread

Pondering and dwelling on thoughts in my head

Wondering about my past mistakes and regrets

Wondering about my sinful debts

Wishing that some things i've done people would forget

The things i've done would wake you up in a cold sweat

Done alot of things stupid and a few things smart

Friends know me as loyal, with a good heart

Pain makes you stronger, it inspires

To say that you know where my raps come from?

You'd have to know my life, me before and see who i've become

I work my shift in the night

Graveyard shift, not a delight

It pays the bills,

enough downtime at it to keep me on tip.it - Chill

You can't escape the pain of your past

You'll realize kid - life goes by fast

You gotta use it to inspire and to build upon

This rap is from this heart, not put on

Theres alot of things i've done thats helped me grow

relations with women are one of those things yo.

Can't say i've ever turned to drugs

never resorted to shooting slugs

I'm a poetic romantic

My loving makes women frantic

I was a weak insecure kid who embraced rap

Gave me confidence and made me want to scrap

Even though i really had no chance

Fearless: Like Jet Li at a glance

I don't have to justify anything to you

Col. Mustard, go get a clue

Because you assume an awful lot

You don't know me by a longshot

But it's cool you think you can hang

We all know you dont have game

So yeah, I rap about what I know

Digitally transcribing them in this flow

Mistakes, Regrets, Bad choices

I hear the multitude of voices

Saying how I coulda done this or that

You fool, you stepped into lyrical combat

Nothing you can say will ever drag me down

It's impossible for you to induce a frown

I've overcame adversity

I thrive in diversity

As i grow older, I grow stronger, Colder

Bolder, Some say I got a chip on my shoulder

Nothing phases me, nothing can stop me

Confidence Shining like a broadway Marquee.

Got my friends, got my family - I got Jesus

I'm a triple crown winner, Flawless like preakness

Yeah, I just dropped god in a rap, you speechless?

The transition was flawless, Seemless

if you wrote your doctorate on rap i'm your thesis

Owning haters like the Jedi Killer General Grievous

Some might say my style and flow is Genius

But all that praise is really needless

So i'm going to step off the mic and ask you "Was that your best shot"?

Sorry Dude, I thought you said your rhymes were hot.

I'm already at a disadvantage because I don't have a Filter

Because I drop curses in real life like the open road knows a drifter

[Sentry_Wolf]

There once was a boy,

Always ready to deploy.

He isn't very good at the rap,

He'd really rather drink a frap.

But theres no disrespect,

Your no insect.

So keep on truckin'

It has him funkin'.

[Shiny]

It was too long, I didn't read

Could someone sum up, in my need?

[das]

when it comes to rap. i own any questions?

not picking a rap battle iwth me is a suggestion

[Danqazmlp]

This thread got off to a good start

But really, none of you are smart

I'm gonna be off the chart

Put you in a shopping cart

Break your heart

Make you fart

Like fine art

Me and the win can't be kept apart

I think it's time for me to depart...

[Dupin]

This thread has truly made me sad.

I read these rhymes; they're all so bad.

 

You see, this is the internet.

A rapper? No, you are a poet.

These lines, they won't ever be said.

They are typed, they will be read.

Your rhymes, they won't get you no-where.

And so, one thing you must beware:

A random rhyme's no good at all.

Your random lines will be your fall.

 

Use some meter. Use some grace.

Please, make this thread a worthwhile place.