The First Annual Off Topic Rap Battle

[Pirate_Felix]

Rap is [cabbage]

Deal with it

[ilovesilvia]

None of you can rap

All your rhymes are crap

Now go back to playing rs

That's all you ever will be good at

[TTanT]

Y'all are clueless, y'all are clawless

I dunno what's worse

That your midnsa r eweak, or that nails are the smallest?

 

 

Please kiddies, don't mess around

This isn't your mommy's playground

Fool around and you'll surely see

What death and blood can really be

 

You mention Runescape

And hope you'll belate

The certain doom impending yet

It's obvious that this is a bet

you've lost

For you've crossed

 

The wrong raptor, yo

Good show

[The Dark Lord]

I'm a white boy but my neck is red

I put miracle whip on my wonder bread

My face is pail, nah I've never been in Jail

Me and Buffy spend every winter in Vail

How many [bleep]es have i slapped? Zero, uh

And Martha Stuart happens to be my hero

I grew up in a farm and i was born with no rhythm

Dr. Phil is my uncle and I like to hang with him

I can't dance, I wear khaki pants

My middle name is Lance, my grandma is from France

So maybe I'm whack

Cause my skin ain't black

But you can't talk smack

Because whitey just struck back

[Saru Inc]

Oh hey look I'm like your avatar

I'm bawling, scarred from your monstar

Raps that fly back and forth like arteries

But hey I'm the clog, oreo hold the fetish please.

I stop you in your tracks

Like a spine that's got no back

You trying to hold onto your skills and your tact

But wait you fall back

As I move into attack

I shove off all your labels

I know they ain't good,

I tear off your fables

Like I tear up da hood.

 

 

im bored

[The Dark Lord]

Im taking you to school,

Call me the professor.

Youre sexually confused,

Cause youre a cwossdwessa.

You wike to kiss men,

And thats weal funny.

Call up Hugh Hefner,

Youre a gay boy bunny.

Youre wost on this stage,

You need a map, Junkie.

You made a wong weft turn

At Albuquerque.

One mo! One mo!

Im a pimp cause my hunting appeals hot, son,

I do a dwive by on your hole

With my double bawweled shotgun!

[Saru Inc]

Calling me a homo

Is so 80's slowmo

All the dodos

in the world total

Couldn't make up for the rarity

That you'll only find in me.

This visual clarity,

Like redneck barbarity

Tears apart your boundaries

Your borders are falling in sprees

Like Gods and dead celebrities

all the best things come in threes

Your rise your fall your defeat

It was fun to watch you invest

Now sit back cuz I'm the best.

 

Call me the old school priest

Like nun other I slap down and feast

Upon the taming of the beast

Known as your last retreat.

I've crushed you with a rock, Gibraltar

This last time you have faltered

SO again here I go

Smashing the altar of your ego.

[Dupin]

That rap is pretty bland

I suggest you use both hands

And stop using one to rub your ego.

 

You say that you are homosex

But you seem pretty autosex

I'm not disappoint, I just say you shouldn't brag so.

 

I am not criticizing

I just find it quite surprising

That you would want to write your raps this way

 

You'll say you were just trolling

But I don't find this consoling

To be honest, I just think it's sorta gay.

[Pirate_Felix]

(Ignore this post, just posting the top 5 posters here:

bonkers 12

Das 8

Sam 8

Dupin 7

Shiny 7

)

[Saru Inc]

So it looks the Felix

Has the thread's head nicked

Clean off, don't scoff

His search and post results

Killed more than Beck's insults.

 

I am waiting for Das to post

Maybe he'll act like Nas and boast

Or maybe like a little nut sit and roast

So I'll raise my glass and toast.

 

But I'll confess with my mouth

I'm not a rapper to yell about

I just like rhyming my sentence lines

And if in the creative process combines

And a rap's produced -- that's fine

But one thing to watch for -- land mine

Is my stinging one line's.

 

I can make some decent metaphors

My swagga drops the floor

My words confuse and confound

And create for your grave a little mound.

But I think that's just because I wanna have fun

And if I lose or get beaten I'm still gonna run

With the same ones I did before

Now go Das: 1,2,3,4:

[Giordano]

Damn guys, this is a pretty good thread

With words like these you don't need to dread

for off-topic just got cooler

but you can't measure it with a ruler

since that's just stupid.

 

My whiteness is glowing right now.

[Saru Inc]

So you read my rap and you came?

Well hell I believe I just won the game

 

 

ok that's all i wanted to say.

[Dupin]

We are all white

And that's all right.

Our rhymes are still sweet.

Can't you feel the beat?

[aeternitatis]

This thread's a joke

So I'll take a poke,

at what you fools call rappin'

All I'm doin' is laughin'

Off-topic is dead, bullet to the head, tired of abortion threads,

some guy's dead,caught by the feds,

Kids dissing weed, I'm no bad seed, just wanna feed my mind,

say you don't have the time, can't spare a dime, but man... you'll shine, just sit back and rhyme.

 

Doesn't have to make sense,

'cause for you it'll do, don't get all tense,

my mind's bent, just wanna vent

Gotta work tonight, no drinks tonight but still, I feel aight, man, you get me, right?

You know how it feels, servin' food, servin' meals, it's for real,

I get paid, I get laid, feel no pain, I just gain this respect from my peers,

doin' it for years on end, I like to spend dough to grow happiness, growing me some cannabis, nothin' better than this

Curin', dryin', it's multiplyin',

money's comin' in, mesmerized as I open my tin,

Packin' bowls whole, I told you man, I'll clear this [cabbage] then hit the spliff in my hand

Take a hit, pass it to a friend, let it in, you feel it?

This is real [cabbage], the best yet, don't forget

 

I'm downtown at co-op, cops are busting some grow op, but not mine, not this time, gotta stop, gotta go, sorry bro, no more time to rhyme but remember: this thread's mine.

[Returnofmic]

I came, I saw, I [bleep]ing conquered

Big up post and I got bonker'd

Feeling the hate towards my forum

Can't find your own decorum

Man this rap got me all flowin'

Should see my fingers, they be glowin'

 

Posting my pics, feeding yo tics, watching yo flicks

Debating your thread, yo hunger gon' get fed, you just wait 'til your dead

Clickin' yo links, drinking yo drinks, cause I riddle like the sphinx

I just want all the fame, I ain't gon' take the blame, but I'll just lay my claim.