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Hakaan

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What do people talk about for so many hours of the day? I know a lot of people that think there can't ever be silence, every spare second has to be filled with conversation. I feel lonely when people don't talk to me and I'd like to branch out. How should I go about talking to people while I'm dealing with nervousness and stuttering? Tbh, talking is probably one of the hardest things for me. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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What do people talk about for so many hours of the day? I know a lot of people that think there can't ever be silence, every spare second has to be filled with conversation. I feel lonely when people don't talk to me and I'd like to branch out. How should I go about talking to people while I'm dealing with nervousness and stuttering? Tbh, talking is probably one of the hardest things for me. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

This is how I feel about people who text constantly. What the hell could they possibly be saying? Truth be told, conversation doesn't usually have a lot of content. Alot of mine are about upcoming events, excitement for things to come, or reminiscing about the past. Best way to start a conversation is a compliment and a genuine "how are you?"

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Don't worry about stuttering, because usually people will notice it when you first talk, and then not care 5 seconds later. As for nervousness, you just have to learn to get past it after some effort. If people won't talk to you, talk to them.

 

A bit extreme case, one of my good friends last year who was a new student introduced himself to everyone he could every day and just talked to random people like he knew them, even though he's really shy. It'll help people get to know you a lot better.

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Find things other people like to talk about, and fill in the gaps there. For example, let's say you know a girl on the Lacrosse team. "Hey, so you're on the Lacrosse team right? When's your next game?" This puts the conversation in her control and at that point your task is simply to keep it afloat. This works well because people love talking about subjects they're passionate about :D

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In one of my classes, people who talk are usually cultural people sitting next to each other and having conversations

in their own language. I can't exactly know what people do talk about, but I'm willing to bet 90% of it are composed of

useless babbles about celebrities, gf/bf's, old news and such.

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When you have confidence, a lot of noticeable flaws go out the window. I know you don't get confidence right away, but you have to start talking to people about random things. There really isn't a "fixed wing" to what topics you can talk about exactly. So, just make something up.

 

Do you play any games other than RuneScape? If so you can start talking with people who play those games. eg. If you play Black Ops ask someone if they got the new DLC map pack yet.

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Can't remember the quote verbatim but it was Dale Carnegie who said you can seal more business in two months by taking an interest in other people than you will in two years trying to appeal yourself to everyone else.

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I was going to link you to Malodrax's famous (infamous?) thread on his social anxiety, but it seems to have been deleted.

 

Cliffs: He was tired of being a loner and being afraid to talk to other people (specifically girls) so he resolved to talk to strangers.

He bought a button-cam and recorded his encounters with strangers then posted them so other Miscers could give him advice.

He did both serious conversations as if he was trying to get the girls' numbers and trolling conversations where he was really just providing lulz.

 

Now, Malodrax is/was bat[cabbage] insane and by no means do I encourage you to start peeing in bottles or make a homemade sex doll but I'd encourage you to do something similar if you're serious about this. You don't have to record and upload them but just talk to strangers, analyze what went wrong afterwards, and ask for advice. The only way to get good at conversating is to practice it and the best way to practice it is with strangers. Who cares if they think you're weird or some creep, you're probably never going to see them again.

"The chief duty of the government is to keep the peace and stand out of the sunshine of the people." - James A. Garfield

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When I have conversation with people, its usually about things like "how are you?" "what did you do today/yesterday/this weekend?" "got any plans upcoming?" You know, actual interesting things that people can talk about, it isn't that hard.

Nothing makes me facepalm more than when people are constantly texting each other and arguing about how unicorns are better than centaurs. Why would you waste the effort to talk about things so pointless?

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[hide=Not too related]

I was going to link you to Malodrax's famous (infamous?) thread on his social anxiety, but it seems to have been deleted.

 

Cliffs: He was tired of being a loner and being afraid to talk to other people (specifically girls) so he resolved to talk to strangers.

He bought a button-cam and recorded his encounters with strangers then posted them so other Miscers could give him advice.

He did both serious conversations as if he was trying to get the girls' numbers and trolling conversations where he was really just providing lulz.

 

Now, Malodrax is/was bat[cabbage] insane and by no means do I encourage you to start peeing in bottles or make a homemade sex doll but I'd encourage you to do something similar if you're serious about this. You don't have to record and upload them but just talk to strangers, analyze what went wrong afterwards, and ask for advice. The only way to get good at conversating is to practice it and the best way to practice it is with strangers. Who cares if they think you're weird or some creep, you're probably never going to see them again.

Wait... what? This thread sounds pretty interesting...

 

 

When I have conversation with people, its usually about things like "how are you?" "what did you do today/yesterday/this weekend?" "got any plans upcoming?" You know, actual interesting things that people can talk about, it isn't that hard.

Nothing makes me facepalm more than when people are constantly texting each other and arguing about how unicorns are better than centaurs. Why would you waste the effort to talk about things so pointless?

It's not pointless. Unicorns have horns have points. Centaurs? Pointless.

[/hide]

 

 

 

Anywho, I'm not too much of a talker myself, but if I want to keep a conversation afloat, I'll bring up some similar interests or something, and try and let the other person keep it going while I just add something here or there. Usually works enough to get me by lol. Or, I just complain about things. Although I don't imagine that that would work so well outside of high school =P

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There are people I can talk to for ages and people who I just have nothing to say to at all.

 

I really suck at talking in larger groups though, can't say anything without someone changing topic or talking over me :wall:

Doomy edit: I like sheep

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Just to chip my bit in, my conversation depends on who I am with. Within my family itself, I say not much in comparison, but certain people I can just talk at for hours on end. In big groups I am usually the talker.

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I can talk about anything for hours. However, it is the moments I can spend not talking (and the silence being comfortable) with my best friends that are truly the best moments.

 

It's not really hard to keep conversation flowing (even easier if you're not trying to attract them). Once you've got a topic, ask them about it, then find tangents and explore those. If that runs out of steam, return to the original topic and continue.

 

This is a gross over-explanation. If you think about doing this while talking it'll make it harder. Basically, if they say something you find interesting, ask them about it (how they got involved with it, how long they've been doing it etc. Questions like that).

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[hide=Not too related]

I was going to link you to Malodrax's famous (infamous?) thread on his social anxiety, but it seems to have been deleted.

 

Cliffs: He was tired of being a loner and being afraid to talk to other people (specifically girls) so he resolved to talk to strangers.

He bought a button-cam and recorded his encounters with strangers then posted them so other Miscers could give him advice.

He did both serious conversations as if he was trying to get the girls' numbers and trolling conversations where he was really just providing lulz.

 

Now, Malodrax is/was bat[cabbage] insane and by no means do I encourage you to start peeing in bottles or make a homemade sex doll but I'd encourage you to do something similar if you're serious about this. You don't have to record and upload them but just talk to strangers, analyze what went wrong afterwards, and ask for advice. The only way to get good at conversating is to practice it and the best way to practice it is with strangers. Who cares if they think you're weird or some creep, you're probably never going to see them again.

Wait... what? This thread sounds pretty interesting...

[/hide]

It was. Unfortunately it's definitely deleted. I looked for a pdf of the thread but haven't been able to find anything.

Here's an example of one of the videos, however it's a trolling video so isn't really germane to this topic.

"The chief duty of the government is to keep the peace and stand out of the sunshine of the people." - James A. Garfield

"If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labeled a radical 60 years ago, a liberal 30 years ago and a racist today." -Thomas Sowell

"Profits are evidence of the creation of social value, not deductions from the sum of the common good." - Kevin D. Williamson

TrueBeaversafe.gif

 

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