Parenting

[Assume Nothing]

If you were to have children, how would you raise them?

 

I think raising children well is one of the most important aspects for their livelihoods. It shapes people into who they are, and each of us is unique. What do you think constitutes good parenting?

 

It is no doubt that every parent should have their child's best interests in mind when making life-changing decisions, such as their education and social life management, but when does parenting become 'too much'?

 

I've left the questions pretty broad so it would be possible to discuss common issues in today's culture, such as: online gaming, social networking, swearing, education, discipline, etc.

 

So, Tip.It, what do you think?

 

EDIT - What's a good thread without a good post?

 

 

It's such a broad topic; what I will say is that a huge number of people don't realize how important good parenting is.

 

A few things that come to mind:

 

• Discipline - being kind and encouraging is a must, but when it comes down to it; parents make the rules, not kids. If you let your kids push you around they will have problems later in life dealing with authority (such as the law, bosses) which can land them in serious trouble.
  
• Presence - You have to spend time with your kids, and set an example for them. Too many parents are so hands off that kids don't feel they have parents at all, just "older friends".
  
• Then there are of course the other things, like teaching your kids morality, although whatever that is varies from parent to parent, teching them to not take things for granted, teaching them to respect others, teaching them to be good with money, etc etc
  

[Giordano]

 

Well maybe not a belt, but some sort of terrible retribution for doing wrong things...you know, instead of the "*crying* Please stop yelling Timmy..."

[jasignhagj]

Don't be a helicopter parent, but don't let your kids push you over.

[Kaphias]

Don't be a helicopter parent, but don't let your kids push you over.

You make it sound easy.

[Dheginsea]

Don't be a helicopter parent, but don't let your kids push you over.

 

 

That and I promise now i will try to keep up with the latest gadgets and know how to use them.

[Star_Fox]

Discipline.

[Zierro]

Keep them alive. They can learn everything else on their own.

[Assume Nothing]

It seems as though people have different ideas of how to parent. Here's a question for you:

 

Should you have children, would you prohibit their viewing of pornography until the legal age of 18? Why or why not?

 

The question is more about the ethics of it, less on the legality

[TrueBeaver]

I wouldn't condone their viewing of pornography but lettuce be reality, there's nothing to can do to stop them.

 

I agree with Giordano; carrot and stick parenting. Do bad things, get the belt. Do good things, get spared the belt rewards.

 

I will consider myself a successful parent if my indoctrination lasts their entire life.

 

Also, in response to a question not asked, I will force them to play sports whether they like it or not. There won't be any fat asses running around my house.

[Shiny]

Not physical abuse.

 

 

verbal plz

[Rainy_Day]

I've been told I shouldn't have children as I generally hate them. :(

 

I'd probably be fairly strict though, I only want a daughter so that I can scare the hell out of any male suiters that try it on. :shades:

[Cheat]

You have to have a good honest relationship with your children so they feel comfortable to share most things with you. I think it is important not to force your politics or religious beliefs on your children - however I do think it is important for them to have some sort of spiritual and morale upbringing they should not reach 18 devoid of principles, ethics and totally close-minded to the idea of religion (please note I am an atheist). As to punishment and reward I would go with a more liberal view of parenting and try not to punish them out right but make them understand why what there doing is wrong - difficult at an early age but should certainly be the way things are done post 10. Education is hugely important to make sure they don't permanently damage their chances in life too early on - it is incredibly important to have a good time as a teenager but you have to remember it is only a small portion of your life, it is idiotic to smoke weed for your teenage years as it is the most enjoyable thing then only to become a highly unsuccessful scrounging adult with few meaningful relationships.

It is important to give your children the privileges appropriate to them including material and behavioural. You should try not to spoil your children but denying them the latest gadgets is silly although buying them an iPhone, iPad, three consoles, 48 inch TV and personal hooker is probably going too far. You should let them discover the mistakes of excess earlier than later - I am grateful for my parents allowing me the freedom to experiment with alcohol and drugs early on 13 - 15 years old so that by the time school work was becoming more serious I had realised that getting absolutely plastered at every party wasn't sensible or fun. An education of classical and historical idea's is important to show your children the idea that have defined the modern world starting this early with give them a huge advantage in examinations and school work. Teaching of important life skills is also needed - the ability to socialise correctly and effectively, the ability to work hard and stay on task, the ability to make a complete fool of yourself in front of others and try something new. The thing of the utmost importance though is to nurture a child of good social skills who can adapt to socialising with the different groups in society without coming across as overconfident, arrogant or stupid.

 

SHORT VERSION: A liberalistic approach teaching your children important skills and supplying them with the things they need while making sure they retain their humility.

[Shiny]

I agree with all except the gadgets/trinkets/spoil-them-rotten point - The kids need to work to get it. My phone is a hand me down from a friend, because my parents realised it was fruitless buying something amazing for me, when it would ultimately break. They told me to look around first. I had to work to get a phone, and my nice clothes etc. are a result of my own saving and investment in thjings that matter to me. I mean, there are points where I do need a hand up from them.

[Jeffwilson99]

I've been told I shouldn't have children as I generally hate them. :(

 

I'd probably be fairly strict though, I only want a daughter so that I can scare the hell out of any male suiters that try it on. :shades:

 

Typical. Prude.

[obfuscator]

It's such a broad topic; what I will say is that a huge number of people don't realize how important good parenting is.

 

A few things that come to mind:

 

• Discipline - being kind and encouraging is a must, but when it comes down to it; parents make the rules, not kids. If you let your kids push you around they will have problems later in life dealing with authority (such as the law, bosses) which can land them in serious trouble.
  
• Presence - You have to spend time with your kids, and set an example for them. Too many parents are so hands off that kids don't feel they have parents at all, just "older friends".
  
• Then there are of course the other things, like teaching your kids morality, although whatever that is varies from parent to parent, teching them to not take things for granted, teaching them to respect others, teaching them to be good with money, etc etc
  

 

And @Rainy, it's spelled "suitors" :P

[Assume Nothing]

It's such a broad topic; what I will say is that a huge number of people don't realize how important good parenting is.

 

A few things that come to mind:

 

• Discipline - being kind and encouraging is a must, but when it comes down to it; parents make the rules, not kids. If you let your kids push you around they will have problems later in life dealing with authority (such as the law, bosses) which can land them in serious trouble.
  
• Presence - You have to spend time with your kids, and set an example for them. Too many parents are so hands off that kids don't feel they have parents at all, just "older friends".
  
• Then there are of course the other things, like teaching your kids morality, although whatever that is varies from parent to parent, teching them to not take things for granted, teaching them to respect others, teaching them to be good with money, etc etc
  

 

And @Rainy, it's spelled "suitors" :P

 

I'd completely agree with that - It seems as though most parents may be either too harsh or too lax, and it's quite rare that parents would find the correct balance.

 

How would you deal with children who are undisciplined though? Should smacking be considered acceptable for the deterrence effect, or would it be 'wrong' to do so?

 

One of the first things I'd get my children to learn (should I have any) would be Critical Thinking - The ability to think logically and rationally is essential for many things, such as decision making.

 

Also, should it be the child's decision for things like sports/hobbies/interests, or should parents make it more mandatory?

[obfuscator]

In terms of discipline, physical discipline is really only effective at a young age. Over the age of 5 or 6 there are much more effective punishments. It is important to underscore in some way, however, that actions have consequences. This includes as well, rewards for certain things done well, etc.

 

As for sports/hobbies, I think for my kids I would make it mandatory that they play piano for at least a few years, as it's the best instrument to learn if you want to get into music.

As for sports, I'd make it mandatory that they played something; whatever it is would be up to them.

[Cheat]

I think you should make your kids take part in musical and sporting activites because if they aren't confident and you don't make them they won't and could well regret it a lot in later life.

[Assume Nothing]

I think you should make your kids take part in musical and sporting activites because if they aren't confident and you don't make them they won't and could well regret it a lot in later life.

 

I can spot multiple fallacies in this alone.

 

A - There are many other alternative methods in which children could gain confidence, not just through musicals and sporting activities. (Alternative cause)

 

B - Not being confident enough will not necessarily mean that children will regret 'it' in later life (False dilemma)

 

C - It is difficult to justify the consequence from the initial reasoning. (Slippery slope)

 

Please refrain from posting fallacious arguments.

[Giordano]

Musical ability is not necessary, neither is sports. The only thing you have to do is keep them healthy and support their interests - which can be done through a great many different ways.

[champion]

He meant that they might not be confident enough to join a sport/activit themselves. And it's absolutely a possibility that later in life they could regret not playing a sport when they were younger. I regret not sticking with baseball. I quit because I didn't like it, but I actually wish my parents would have forces me to play for at least a little while longer. And I don't even see how there's a slippery slope fallacy in what he said at all.

[Cheat]

I think you should make your kids take part in musical and sporting activites because if they aren't confident and you don't make them they won't and could well regret it a lot in later life.

 

I can spot multiple fallacies in this alone.

 

A - There are many other alternative methods in which children could gain confidence, not just through musicals and sporting activities. (Alternative cause)

 

B - Not being confident enough will not necessarily mean that children will regret 'it' in later life (False dilemma)

 

C - It is difficult to justify the consequence from the initial reasoning. (Slippery slope)

 

Please refrain from posting fallacious arguments.

 

The guy above has summed up what I meant. I'm not saying that sport or musical ability is necessary nor is confidence. However I am saying that for a child that lacks the confidence but could enjoy the sport a great deal it is important to make them try - obviously you don't continue to force them to do it if they don't enjoy it. I wasn't talking about not being confident being the thing children regret rather not having tried the activity. I realise there are many other alternatives and you could take the same approach to them with these.

[Giordano]

You're contradicting though. If the kid stops wanting to play baseball it must be because he is not enjoying it, so you as the parent stop forcing him to go.

 

Years later the kid regrets not being able to continue playing baseball and decides to force their kid to play no matter what but will also not force them to do something they don't enjoy. So which one is it? Regret or enjoyment?

 

 

We all have regrets, it will be stupid as anyone to try to avoid them...because in this scenario it leaves with unhappy children.

[Assume Nothing]

I think you should make your kids take part in musical and sporting activites because if they aren't confident and you don't make them they won't and could well regret it a lot in later life.

 

I can spot multiple fallacies in this alone.

 

A - There are many other alternative methods in which children could gain confidence, not just through musicals and sporting activities. (Alternative cause)

 

B - Not being confident enough will not necessarily mean that children will regret 'it' in later life (False dilemma)

 

C - It is difficult to justify the consequence from the initial reasoning. (Slippery slope)

 

Please refrain from posting fallacious arguments.

 

The guy above has summed up what I meant. I'm not saying that sport or musical ability is necessary nor is confidence. However I am saying that for a child that lacks the confidence but could enjoy the sport a great deal it is important to make them try - obviously you don't continue to force them to do it if they don't enjoy it. I wasn't talking about not being confident being the thing children regret rather not having tried the activity. I realise there are many other alternatives and you could take the same approach to them with these.

 

I apologize - I must have interpreted it wrong.

[Cheat]

You're contradicting though. If the kid stops wanting to play baseball it must be because he is not enjoying it, so you as the parent stop forcing him to go.

 

Years later the kid regrets not being able to continue playing baseball and decides to force their kid to play no matter what but will also not force them to do something they don't enjoy. So which one is it? Regret or enjoyment?

 

 

We all have regrets, it will be stupid as anyone to try to avoid them...because in this scenario it leaves with unhappy children.

 

Yeh I know I am being hypocritical I suppose I would say forcing them to a point is fun but I wouldn't continue if they were absolutely terrible - got bullied for doing and hated it with a passion.